BXBX NOVEL Chapter 282: Dark Awakening
Chapter 282: Dark Awakening
I\'m currently hiding my face with my Fly King outfit.
On the other hand, Seras is dressed as usual.
With her face unmasked, a sword was sheathed by her waist.
I had the Centaurs who had been taking care of Yasu leave.
With my voice distorted by the Gem of Voice Alteration, I spoke to him politely.
[We would like to ask you a few questions now. We know it\'s difficult to talk to you with those restraints on…… so we would have your mouth restraints removed but———- I need you to promise us that you will do us no harm.]
Yasu\'s hands and feet were unrestrained.
The moment the restraints are removed, he would be able to use his skill.
[My apologies. We also need to be vigilant. In this battle…… We had a case where we were deceived by someone who approached us with a friendly atmosphere, which brought danger to our people. That\'s why, we had become timid upon such matters…… If you agree, can you give me a nod?]
Yasu nodded.
I didn\'t see any signs of hesitation from him.
Incidentally, since his thoughts weren\'t expressed with words, Seras is unable to judge whether he\'s telling the truth or not.
However, I wanted to see how he reacted to my question.
[Thank you very much. Well then———- We will now remove your restraints.]
Seras started removing his restraints.
Meanwhile, I prepared myself to use my Abnormal State Skill at any time.
Thereupon, Seras placed the restraints on the table beside him.
During that time, Yasu remained silent.
……Seriously, he looked like a different person.
Seeing him like that, I spoke.
[We\'re aware of the circumstances of how you became like that. We heard it from someone among the 6th Cavalry.]
Hearing my words, Yasu\'s shoulders flinched.
It seems that he reacted when I said 6th Cavalry.
[Rest assured. The 6th Cavalry———– had already been decimated by us.]
Yasu\'s eyes opened wide.
It looked as if the words I said had caught him off guard.
Raising his head……
[Eh? That 6th Cavalry…… That John Doe had……?]
The voice that muttered those words were so soft and hoarse.
It may have been because he hadn\'t spoken for a while.
[He was a tough opponent, but that man is no longer in this world. The men of the 6th Cavalry…… and all those who were on this battlefield have already been taken care of.]
Moving his gaze away, Yasu powerlessly spoke again.
[……Is that so……]
Because of the 6th Cavalry, Yasu had become like this.
Normally, one would have felt various emotions upon hearing what I said.
However, Yasu was just indifferent.
"I\'m glad they\'re dead, serves them right."
Seemingly not even having such an emotion, he just accepted my words as facts.
[Don\'t you have a grudge against them?]
Hearing the questioning tone directed towards him……
[……For a while after I was betrayed, I might have been. However…… I had too much time to think about this. Ummm…… It might be embarrassing to say this, but by the time we arrived at this battlefield, I was already thinking…… that "I had it coming".]
Self-reflectively and self-deprecatingly, Yasu continued.
[Before I was taken into custody by the 6th Cavalry…… I was a bundle of arrogance. Even though I should have known the power I had was just borrowed power given to me by the Goddess…… I acted as if I myself was special and amazing. Like an idiot…… I was ecstatic. Only seeing myself becoming greater in my mind…… I found myself unable to see anything else. Looking back on it now, I also lost sight of myself…… No———–]
With an emaciated and exhausted face, Yasu gazed at his hand, which had its tendons torn apart.
[Even before I came to this world…… I definitely couldn\'t see myself. And since I came here…… I completely became a brat…… who was proud of a power that I just borrowed. I think coming to this world made me nastier…… I was getting worse.]
[…………………….]
He changed……
He changed so much that he was beyond recognition.
Just as he said earlier——–
I guess he really had too much time to think huh.
[Of course, I was surprised that that Captain was actually defeated…… but the 6th Cavalry being annihilated in itself felt strange for me…… that I couldn\'t exert any thoughts other than "Ahh, is that so"……]
Thereupon, Yasu turned his gaze from his hands to me.
[Ummm, what will happen to me now? Will I be put into trial…… and executed?]
Pausing for a moment, I respond.
[If that\'s the case, will you accept it?]
[……It\'s something…… I will have to accept. It\'s just, ummm———]
I wait for Yasu to continue.
[If…… it\'s possible…… there\'s still a part of me…… that wants to live a bit longer……]
He still has the will to live huh.
[You still have a reason why you want to live?]
[……There are people I want to apologize to.]
[…………………]
[The other Heroes from Another World…… My classmates…… Especially, Aya——– No, Sogou-san. To her…… To such a person……]
Looking as if he was praying, Yasu brought his hands together, in front of his head.
[Even though I was like that——— Even though I had been such a person, she still continued to care for me……! And yet, I…… Even to my classmates who relied on me…… I had only been looking at myself…… Sniff…… B- But…… Even in such a situation——— Sogou-san still continued to think about everyone…… including me, who had been like that……]
Yasu spat out a monologue filled with regret.
He——- is crying.
Both Seras and I only waited in silence for his next words.
When he somewhat calmed down, Yasu started talking again.
[……Even the deaths of Sakuma-kun and Hirooka-kun, if I had paid more attention…… I might have been able to save them. In that sense, it\'s no different from me killing them…… and that\'s why, I can\'t apologize enough to them……]
Sakuma.
Hirooka.
They\'re dead huh.
After we had defeated Eingrantz, I had talked with Sogou.
At that time, she had mentioned the death of Kariya Ikumi, one of Kirihara\'s members.
However, I didn\'t know about the deaths of those two.
Well, I suppose there wouldn\'t be any reason for Sogou to tell the "Fly King" about the deaths of every member of their group.
……I wonder if there are also others who are dead……
[Mimori—————]
I\'ve already thought of the possibility that Yasu would bring up my name, so I\'ve made sure not to react when that name is brought up.
I\'ve also mentioned this to Seras in advance, so she should be fine.
[I want to apologize to Mimori-kun too…… but that isn\'t something I can do anymore.]
After a few moments of silence, Yasu continued.
[Back when we were in our previous world, my classmate named Mimori-kun…… was one of those who held out their hands towards me. However, the me back then had too much pride…… that is to say…… at that time, I- I had…… I had———–]
As if he\'s trying to muster his courage, Yasu closed both of his eyes.
[I had wanted to be the one holding my hand to others…… but I wasn\'t able to become one…… and all this time…… since I\'ve come to this world…… somewhere along the way, things just got crazier and crazier…… and I was getting m- more and more drunk from the sense of omnipotence that was incomparable to the power I had back in my former world……]
I see.
Because of that incident with the 6th Cavalry……
"He sobered up."
……And along with that……
He also remembered that I existed huh.
[You said you wanted to apologize?]
[……Y- Yes.]
[In other words, you\'re saying that if your sins are forgiven and liberated from what you\'re feeling, you will return to the Heroes\' side———– to Alion, yes?]
[———-I wonder about that.]
Yasu averted his gaze.
As if he thinks that "things aren\'t as simple as that".
[It seems that the Goddess was planning to get rid of me…… Even if I were to actually live, thinking of returning to their side…… I don\'t feel like things will end well.]
[If the situation were as you described, I think it was indeed as you said. However, you wanted to meet up with the other Heroes from Another World———- these "klasmeyts" as you called them, right?]
[……Yes. However, ummm……]
It seems like he also had other things in mind.
As he took a brief silence, I waited for his next words.
[To tell you the truth, my emotions were still in a mess.]
[What do you mean?]
[I don\'t know what kind of face to put on when I meet them…… when ummm, I myself lost sight of myself…… B- Besides……]
Turning his gaze to the side, Yasu continued in a slightly calmer tone.
[I wanted to look at this world a bit more…… or something like that. I was having…… such thoughts in mind.]
[Look at the world with your own eyes huh.]
[Embarrassing it may be to say this, the me back then…… saw the people of this world as NPCs——— In other words, I used to think of them as nothing but a crowd. They exist to admire me for being the chosen hero, affirming me in everything I do…… I thought that the people in this world were all like that. I guess I didn\'t have a proper understanding of what it meant for someone to be "alive"……]
He is the one———– Only he is the Chosen Protagonist.
The world exists only for his sake.
A world where only he is desired.
I suppose that is how Yasu Tomohiro saw everything.
[Therefore, ummm…… What were the people of this world like…… How do they feel as they live in this world…… How different and how alike they are to the current me…… I\'d like to get to know other people better…… though what I\'m saying may sound strange to you.]
[……………………..]
I see.
After meeting Sogou and the others, what he wanted to do is that so-called "self-discovery".
Self-discovery huh.
It was apparently popular a long time ago, but is now completely out of fashion.
They were words I read and wasn\'t familiar with, so I looked it up on the internet.
"No matter how hard you search, the real you doesn\'t exist."
"You\'re just drunk on yourself."
"Those who go searching for themselves are embarrassing."
"They\'re just people who run away from the harsh reality.
"If they had the time to do something as meaningless as searching for themselves, they should just study or work."
I\'ve read such words on the internet, but I don\'t think I\'ve heard someone mention this in reality.
However———— this is a different world.
If that\'s enough to convince him…… to clear his mind……
If that can make him move forward……
Well, I suppose it\'s okay.
[If I…… can apologize to everyone, I want to make it up to them. Considering all the self-centered deeds I\'ve done though…… thinking of the lives of Mimori-kun, Sakuma-kun and Hirooka-kun…… I know it\'s not something I can easily make up for.]
[? Do you also feel responsible for the death of this Mimori fellow?]
[Speaking of that situation back then…… Anyone would have felt hurt. In that despairing situation, his death had suddenly been settled———- Ah, but……]
Just for a little bit.
Yasu\'s mouth seemed to have relaxed.
[Before Mimori-kun was thrown to the Disposal Ruins…… He flipped the bird…… He raised his middle finger at the Goddess. "Be prepared", he told her…… Even in such a situation…… He looked cool…… Sogou-san was also amazing at that time too……]
Saying this, Yasu lowered his head, his shoulders slumping down.
[I think what I had inside me…… was probably a complex related to them. I felt envious towards Mimori-kun and Sogou-san——— No, not just towards the two of them. I feel dwarfed in comparison to many other people…… that\'s why, I pretended to be tough…… I wanted someone to see that I was amazing…… I wanted someone to acknowledge me. And even now……]
Yasu gazes at his hand again.
[I speak my thoughts for my own convenience…… Trying to get forgiveness for my own convenience. I really hate myself for this. But that\'s why…… I\'ve learned to take in my own self-centeredness——–]
Yasu raised his face, then looked straight towards me……
[And even if it\'s just a little bit———- I want to like myself. After I learned to like myself, I want to apologize to everyone properly. And then———- I want to lend my strength to someone.]
[………………….]
Who the heck is this guy……
This isn\'t——— the Yasu Tomohiro I know.
But at the same time, I felt like I had found my answer.
I had a vague idea that this was the kind of person Yasu Tomohiro used to be.
I suppose he isn\'t any different from the others.
……In a way, I guess he\'s just one of those typical types of characters huh.
I mean……
If you want to apologize…… One of them is alive right in front of you.
It\'s coming off.
The detestable pretense——- the old Yasu Tomohiro was clad in.
It seems that that incident with the 6th Cavalry really had quite an effect on him.
……It was quite the drastic solution he faced huh.
[I see, I understand how you feel.]
Well, I understood Yasu\'s monologue.
I also understood what he\'s feeling.
Making a pondering gesture———
[Let\'s see…… Well then, I\'ll try talking to the people of the Faraway Country, so that we can move things forward in the direction you desire.]
[! A- About my…… trial———]
[Some of them were indeed thinking of having you undertake such a thing, but fortunately, I am the one who has done the most to lead this battle to victory. I think that if I went to the higher-ups in this country, we could avoid such a disturbing direction.]
There actually wasn\'t any talk about having him on trial or having him executed.
As of now, they just entrusted him to me.
Thus, this is nothing but bargaining.
[Well, it\'s hard for them to say that you were involved in this battle…… but I\'ll ask this just in case. Do you have any intention of antagonizing the Faraway Country in the future?]
[I- I don\'t…… really have any reason to do that———-]
Seras kept her silence.
He\'s telling the truth huh.
[I\'ll believe you on your word.]
Hearing what I said, Yasu hesitated.
But soon after, a determined look appeared on his face.
[Ummm, errr…… Actually, I heard that you———-]
Yasu spoke frankly.
That he had actually come to kill Belzegia———- he had come to kill me.
After Yasu honestly said this……
[———And I heard from someone in this country. They said that you were the one who made them look for me……]
[I made them look for you because I knew you were a Hero from Another World. I also wanted to ask you some questions———- If you want to thank someone for their kindness, you should thank the Demi-Humans who found you and took care of you.]
[Even if that\'s so…… I\'m still alive thanks to you. If it hadn\'t been for you, I might have died. Thank you very much…… and, I\'m sorry. Even though it was at the time when I had completely lost sight of myself, for me to have tried to kill you……]
[However…… You were ordered by the Goddess to kill if I didn\'t respond to her invitation, didn\'t you? You hadn\'t even tried inviting me yet……]
[Y- You\'re mistaken…… I was u- ummm…… not planning to invite you…… ——–and intended to kill you from the start…… Looking back on it now, I can only say it was stupid of me……]
Yasu became silent for a while.
Eventually, with his gaze down to his hands……
[I think back then…… I had been envious of you who had everything. In other words…… I desired what you had.]
He didn\'t cover up the truth within himself.
It was a courageous admission——– or so it looked.
[The Fly King, who had gallantly marched onto the battlefield from which I had so pathetically fled, overturned the despairing war situation, and easily killed a Confidant…… Moreover, he had the most beautiful woman on the continent, Seras-san by his side———–]
At that moment, Yasu raised his head.
Thereupon, a surprised expression appeared on his face.
Reflected in Yasu\'s eyes is Seras\' countenance.
It might be strange to say this———- but it was as if he had just noticed her presence.
It was as if he had finally "become aware of her beauty".
……Yasu hasn\'t been "fully aware" of Seras\' presence in this room huh.
His cheeks flushed, Yasu looked away, seemingly embarrassed.
[Power, fame, a partner that everyone would be envious of…… Deep down…… I feel like you\'re someone cool. Yes——–]
Yasu closed his eyes, and letting out a sigh, the edge of his lips slightly raised.
[In this different world———- I guess I wanted to be someone like you.]
It was an unsarcastic smile.
But soon, that smile turned into a self-deprecating one.
[That\'s why, at that time, I had such a thought in mind. That I will deal with you myself———- That I will plunder your "everything" and have them for myself. All that, not even knowing what I\'m getting into.]
[My everything huh.]
[……At least, that was how I saw it. To be honest, I still think the same way.]
[I just don\'t have good things though.]
Thinking for a few moments, I continued.
[The bad parts of a person aren\'t always visible to the outside world. Even the friends and neighbors we see most of the time, they also have parts of them we don\'t know about. Even I, who you envy——— also have many unpleasant and detestable feelings. Getting more attention than necessary is also not always a good thing. There would be times when you would find such attention troublesome. Even Seras has her own problems to deal with. In the first place, people\'s expectations of "those they don\'t know" are too high. However, once you get closer to them, you would realize that those expectations are just illusions. It would be rare for one to actually exceed the people\'s expectations of them. So, in the end…… All those illusions crumble upon the face of "reality".]
[……You\'ve become quite an adult, aren\'t you, Belzegia-san.]
[I\'m just someone tipping my toes, trying to look like an adult.]
Hearing what I said, Yasu chuckled.
[I think that\'s what it means for someone to be an adult though?]
Pausing for a moment……
[You wanted to be recognized by someone.]
[……Perhaps.]
[However, you didn\'t get that recognition.]
[…………Yes.]
[Have you ever——— given recognition to others?]
[…………I don\'t think I did.]
[If you want recognition from others, it might be a good idea to start by giving recognition to others. Then, I think recognition would naturally come your way.]
[…………………]
[If you don\'t want to do that———- If you don\'t want to give recognition to others, only sticking to yourself, only seeking their praises…… I think you would need to have a great amount of willpower and ability. Even if that were the case though, the path you would be treading to would be a lonely road riddled with thorns…… However, even when you tread such a path, there\'s a possibility that what you\'re seeking there isn\'t there at all.]
Pausing for a few moments again……
[As for what path you wish to undertake, that would depend on you.]
[……I guess so. Yes.]
Yasu obediently nodded.
At that moment……
[……Ummm?]
When Yasu raised his head, he saw me.
With my hand held out towards him.
[I\'m the Leader of the Fly King Squadron, Belzegia.]
Introducing myself to him once again———— I asked for a handshake.
Yasu seemed to have understood my intentions……
[……Former Hero, Yasu———– Tomohiro Yasu.]
He shook my hand back with a loose grip.
For someone who has lost their way, this kind of preachy words——– seemed to have soaked into his mind.
And this handshake is "a symbol of trust".
When you trust someone, you become more casual with the way you talk to them.
There was no sign of an attack from the current Yasu Tomohiro.
I couldn\'t feel any hostility from him.
What he had is trust for someone who understands him.
I suppose it\'s time for me to get to the main issue———– to extract information from him.
[———-Oops.]
Acting a little bit, I took out my pocket watch.
[I was going to ask you a lot of questions, but we\'ve digressed quite a bit…… I actually have a few questions for you, Tomohiro-san. Would it be alright if we return to the main topic?]
[Ah, yes…… Please ask anything.]
I asked him a few questions.
Thereupon, Yasu obediently and "truthfully" answered.
But to be honest, I couldn\'t say that there was that much new information.
However, I\'ve got some new information regarding 2-C.
It seems like they\'re steadily preparing for the Great Demon Emperor.
From what I\'ve heard, there hasn\'t been much movement———- but it seems like the other party\'s decisive battle is near.
[Thank you very much, Tomohiro-san…… Since we\'re enemies with Alion, we wanted to get as much information as possible about them.]
An unconfident smile appeared on Yasu\'s lips.
[I don\'t know if I was able to be of help or not though.]
[No, this is enough.]
Now then……
As for what to do with Yasu after this————-
▽
After leaving the room with Yasu, I walked down the corridor alongside Seras.
[You seem to have something to say, Seras.]
[Ah———, ……Yes.]
Seras looked behind here.
Thereupon, she made sure that there was no presence of anyone in the surroundings……
[Would that be alright? That person is, ummm———]
[Are you curious why I didn\'t reveal my true identity to him, even when both of us were acquaintances back in our former world?]
She didn\'t answer immediately.
However, her expression said yes.
I stopped walking for a moment……
[……I think that if he knew who the Fly King was now, he would be confused and make his emotions even more muddled. He thinks that I——– the Fly King as "a guy who doesn\'t know the former Yasu Tomohiro directly"…… that\'s why he was able to speak so obediently.]
Yes.
I think it was better that it wasn\'t "Mimori Touka" who saved Yasu, but the "Fly King".
[Surprisingly, in matters like this…… it\'s better that I\'m just a stranger.]
"If I could, I would apologize to them."
Although that\'s what he said……
I don\'t think———- it\'s a good idea for him to know that "I" am the Fly King.
That\'s why……
It\'s okay that Mimori Touka still remains "as a person of the past" in his mind for now.
It\'s okay for me to remain being treated as dead.
<Author\'s Notes>
The next chapter will be updated a little sooner…… or so I hope.