BXBX NOVEL Volume 4, CHAPTER 114: LIES INTO WISHES
Volume 4, CHAPTER 114: LIES INTO WISHES
Carried on the roar of a ground dragon, the battle's end echoes through the skies of SANCTUARY.
A black dragon, which had rammed into wounded Garfiel, landed the decisive blow for the fight. This dragon, Patrasche, had run to the scene as if sharing a telepathic link with Subaru, and beautifully given an unparalleled assist in the final stage of the combat.
Patrasche: “—?!”
This was the second confrontation between Garfiel and Patrasche in SANCTUARY.
On they day they arrived here, carriage-lugging Patrasche had gotten into combat with Garfiel when he arrived to repel the invaders, and suffered a doubtless defeat.
There exists a border between soldiers and civilians. No one could blame Patrasche for being made to eat dirt. Naturally, Subaru did not fault his steed either.
But Patrasche's thoughts on it were an entirely different matter.
She had failed to protect her master, and underwent disgrace.
For a member of the proud Diana bloodline, this was a dishonour which needed to be overturned unequivocally.
Being that Patrasche and Subaru cannot communicate verbally, the swift arrival of this opportunity was not a topic they could discuss with mutually perfect comprehension.
And so, with the parts she could not convey included, she demonstrated her thoughts by action.
This roar from the dragon was devoted to her master and to her ancestors.
With how the sound came mingled with accomplishment and satisfaction, and how the dragon drew her snout close to the unconscious Subaru, surely anyone would understand that.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Listening to Patrasche's roar in her restored honour, Emilia gives a deep sigh.
It felt like breathing had been banned. Or rather, the fight had been one to make you forget about breathing entirely.
Watch to the end, Subaru had told her. While keenly perceiving her own powerlessness, Emilia spectated the mens' gruesome confrontation to conclusion.
Subaru had spat blood, moaned in pain, broken down.
Who could suppose how many times Emilia bordered on calling out and running over?
But every time Emilia's weak heart came near to discarding that she wait, Subaru's words of, watch me, and his nigh-perfectly timed gaze stopped her.
Neither her action, nor her speech, were pardonable here.
It frustrated her, and she found it hard to bear, but she must not avert her gaze.
It wasn't that anyone told her.
But Emilia's heart quietly perceived that she absolutely must not do those things.
She did not understand this feeling revolving around her chest which had kept her stopped.
Subaru had exhibited incredible stubbornness, Garfiel had howled with such incredible ferocity, the confrontation came to its end following the two mens' sloppy fistfight—what was it that the fight was founded upon? Being an outsider to the situation, and a woman who struggled to understand male logic, Emilia could only grasp the situation in fragmentary terms.
But Subaru had demonstrated his doggedness and faith with this fight, enlisting much aid to defeat Garfiel.
And that fact did indeed cause an indescribable feeling to swell within Emilia's heart.
Still driven by that feeling, Emilia recognized that the two's fight was one which deserved commendation.
Meaning that the significance of their battle absolutely must not be tarnished. And so—
Emilia: “...Roswaal.”
With one hard blink, Emilia abandons her hesitation and turns to face forward.
Her gaze oversteps Subaru and Garfiel toppled on the ground before her, reaching to the gaps in the trees beyond.
—Where there wordlessly stands a warlock.
Emilia: “It makes people uneasy if you're just quiet like that. They'll start to think you're up to something.”
Roswaal: “Myyyyyyyyy goodness, how that certainly does sting. And all when I came here, pushing my wounded body, for the sake of yooooooourself and Subaru-kun...”
Emilia: “If that's really what you think, then I'd want to be more relaxed, but...”
Out from the bushes in front of Emilia there emerges someone tall—Roswaal.
In these several days since their arrival in SANCTUARY, Emilia has only seen him in bed. That he's outside and loitering around here makes her somewhat wary.
Roswaal fundamentally is a backer of Emilia's in the Royal Selection, and her only ally, politically speaking. The one who brought Emilia out of the forest and presented her the path to the throne, and suggested that the villagers sleeping in ice could be saved, was also him.
And so, leaving his idiosyncrasies aside, Emilia had never truly viewed Roswaal as an enemy, or as offensive, or as dangerous so far.
So far as just a couple seconds ago.
Emilia: “The minor spirits have been noisy and restless for a while now.”
Roswaal: “...Hrrrrrrrrrrrm.”
Emilia: “Everybody's saying they sense something sooo menacing. ...And right now, even I can see it too.”
Her voice low and tense, Emilia slowly descends from the tomb's entrance down to the open square. Subaru's face as he lies there is satisfied, while Garfiel's is twisted in regret. Beside Patrasche as she stands between the two is where Emilia takes her place, putting her in position to protect the three of them should anything happen.
Protect the three—she ultimately must have that thought, with how irregular a vibe currently emanates from Roswaal.
A dense, abnormally thick concentration of mana is warping the atmosphere around Roswaal. Just how concentrated was the mana inside this man? This was Roswaal L. Mathers, who commanded all six types of magic, known as the greatest magician in the country.
When this man detonated his magic to its greatest limit, just what miracles could happen?
Emilia: “—”
Feeling tipsy off the dense mana, Emilia swallows her breath.
Patrasche moves to stand in a place where she is blocking Roswaal's line of sight to Subaru, stretching out her neck as she growls intimidatingly at the warlock.
She had also sensed a threat in Roswaal's anomalous atmosphere. Seeing the two's caution, Roswaal gives a shrug, his attitude entirely the same as always.
Roswaal: “How scary. I wooooooould prefer if you could abstain frooooooom looking at me like that. Aaaaaaaalthough, my nature is one where animals and so ground dragons disfavour me ridiculously. Should the same apply for spirits, that does explain why Beatrice won't be cordial wiiiiiiiith me.”
Emilia: “Stop fooling around. And I'm certain she's unhappy with you because of something else. … I don't know if it was always like that, though.”
Roswaal: “Nooooooooo. A long time ago... truly a long time ago, it waaaaaaaaasn't like that. When there were no earth dragons, it used to be that people came here riding grim oxen—riding farrow.”
Emilia: “When, there were no earth dragons...?”
Emilia's brows furrow.
While she is not exactly the most knowledgeable on the topic, earth dragons are creatures firmly joined to everyday living, and the culture and history surrounding them—their connection with humanity—has supposedly gone on for a long time.
What Roswaal must mean is IN LUGNICA. Emilia's studies are too lacking for her to pinpoint just when earth dragons started being densely used in Lugnica, though.
Roswaal slips a small sigh at Emilia's confusion.
Somehow, it gives a sense of pre-anticipated disappointment.
Roswaal: “Then you would not know either, Emilia-sama. Weeeeeell, I suppose you wouldn't. While you may have inherited blood from the long-lived elves, your years only amount to a century and some... when you have spent the most of that time asleep, surely you wouldn't remember the world aaaaaaaaaaas it was then.”
Emilia: “...You're saying weird things, Roswaal. If we're going to talk about this, then you're way younger than me. Um, but I lose if we mean time spent awake.”
That Emilia spent up to a century inside the ice, abandoned by the world and its time, was history that Emilia found embarrassing.
Even with the world at large considered, she plainly should be an elder of the population. But she lacks the experience and knowledge fitting to her age.
Including her inability to beat the TRIAL, her time in SANCTUARY has made her recognize that there are many areas in which she lacks—including this.
But Roswaal just responds to Emilia's worries with a snort, laughing them off. The reaction is an unanticipated one. Emilia's brows shoot up in surprise.
Emilia: “Wait, Roswaal. Why are you laughing like that?”
Roswaal: “—. Please excuse me. It truly was nooooooothing important. ...Merely reflecting that ignorance occasionally does create situations which are so humorous that it's sad.”
Emilia: “...You mean, you're making fun of me. I can at least understand that much.”
Roswaal's rather insolent statement leads Emilia's brows to rise, her wariness compounding. Strange mana encircles Roswaal. As if spurred by this stuff he has whetted, Roswaal's attitude toward Emilia is different from how it has ever been.
Emilia has never experienced clear spite from Roswaal before.
The Emilia that Roswaal knew was someone who was always screwing around, often spoke mockingly, and told jokes on Subaru and Puck's par for idiotic, but like them he had never said anything which was disparaging toward Emilia.
Because Roswaal needed to cooperate with Emilia for the sake of his goals, and interact while placing her in the superior position of RULER.
Tracing the logic backwards, Roswaal does not presently see the merit in acting such with Emilia. He had probably lost his temper with her and her constant inability to beat the TRIAL, and given up on her. And that was okay. Because if that was the situation, she could at least understand and agree with it.
But something else presently scares Emilia more than that.
Emilia: “Roswaal... how long were you watching Subaru and Garfiel fight?”
Roswaal: “—How long, which is to say?”
Emilia: “I noticed you there... just a minute ago. When Subaru and Garfiel were hitting each other...
right after Subaru used Shamac.”
Taxing his ragged gate, Subaru had used magic for the who-knows-what'th time.
He had strained the dregs of mana that he had and used magic as if mustering the absolute last of his power. It resulted in a rather ineffective spell, which soon dispersed.
Thinking back on it, that had been the exact moment where Emilia truly wanted to run over to Subaru.
Subaru once strained the last of his power to cast Shamac in Emilia's presence before, and it had ended in his overwhelming and unquestionable loss.
Surely no one would fault her for envisioning his image back then overlaid atop his image right now, and come close to calling out. But when Subaru jabbed his hidden ace, the crystal, into Garfiel and the odds shifted to fifty-fifty, an emotion other than panic sprouted in Emilia's heart.
And having lost that pressing sense of urgency, Emilia first noticed it.
Noticed the irregular signs of someone watching the battle, just like her.
Emilia: “At first, I thought you were there to help Subaru if he reached his limit. It looks like Ram and Otto-kun did something to try stopping Garfiel, so I wondered if you were here as reinforcements for Subaru too. But...”
Roswaal: “Yoooooooou're exactly correct, I indeed came here as reinforcements for Subaru-kun. Is what I could say, but you wouldn't beeeeeeeeeelieve me.”
Emilia: “Even without Puck, I can at least figure out mana currents. You were watching the fight where you could intervene at any time... but, who you were aiming for was...”
Roswaal: “—”
Roswaal's odd-coloured eyes narrow as he looks at Emilia.
His eyes had been narrowed like this while he was watching the fight. With his magic at its peak and always ready to fire, with his aim fixed on Subaru.
Emilia: “Answer, Roswaal. —What were you thinking to do to Subaru?”
Emilia faces her palm out toward Roswaal.
Puck is not with her. There's anxiety to be had over her mana control. The minor spirits are trying to warn Emilia, them terrified of Roswaal and the ominous magic he dons.
If she cannot depend on them to help her entirely, then she has to do it herself.
Emilia: “Please, answer. If you don't, I...”
Roswaal: “We are far past any question, and you're stiiiiiiiiiiiill hesitant in your decisions. No end exists for your blitheness. Or perhaps you place too much expectation in the goodwill of others? It was supposed to be that your days thus far were ones where you were recipient only to malice. How is it that you manage to be so incredibly exposed?”
Emilia: “—hk”
Roswaal overpowers Emilia's pleading words with unrestrained spite.
His heterochromatic eyes equally host animosity, him not conceding Emilia an inch. The same applies to the multiple forms of mana churning chaotically inside him.
Matters are proceeding in a questionable direction. Emilia unwittingly reaches for her chest, then remembers that the familiar touch there is absent, and grits her teeth.
Her weakness, unconsciously trying to entrust her worries to Puck, frustrates her.
To obfuscate that weakness, Emilia increases the strength in her glare as she gazes at Roswaal.
Emilia: “You don't want to answer my question. Then, I won't—eep”
hold back either, is how she means to continue.
The instant she determines so, and begins to build a concentration of mana, something bumps the side of her head.
Surprised at the dishevelment of her silver hair, Emilia looks to her side, to see the snout of a ground dragon.
It's Patrasche. Her push—or really strike, being that it was too forceful of a shove to be described otherwise—prompts Emilia's eyes to widen. The snout of the black dragon's elegant face once again butts into Emilia's forehead.
Emilia: “You...”
They cannot speak with each other, but even still, it seems like Patrasche is supporting her.
—Calm down. With composure, do what it is you ought to.
Feeling that Patrasche is sternly telling her this, Emilia realises that she has gotten fired up. She closes her eyes. By the time she turns back to face Roswaal, her hand no longer touches her chest.
Roswaal: “Truly... I have noooooooo good memories with ground dragons.”
Seeing the change in Emilia's expression, Roswaal gives his irritated opinion of Patrasche. Patrasche's care had so effectively destroyed Roswaal's plans. Meaning that just then, Roswaal had wanted Emilia to get violent on him.
Emilia: “I don't know at all what you're thinking right now. If she hadn't stopped me just then, I know I would've... but, it's almost like you wanted me to.”
Roswaal: “I will simply mention this for consideration. It's because I dooooo dislike being hurt.”
Emilia: “...? But everyone dislikes that.”
Emilia furrows her brows. Roswaal's lips look to slacken sardonically. Emilia can not figure in the least what that smile means.
Either way, brute force is not the option she should be picking here.
Emilia: “Tell me, Roswaal. It's obvious that you're not your usual self right now. How come you're... being desperate like this, tell me.”
Roswaal: “...Desperate, you say. Hrm, goodness my goodness how surprising.”
Emilia: “It's like you're abandoning everything, and you could've been hit with magic and you didn't care... you could tell me it's not desperation, but I wouldn't believe you.”
Emilia could understand that destructive behaviour where you grow sick of yourself, and let yourself act like an absolute insane wreck. The question is whether you direct it inside, or outside. Emilia was the type to direct it inside. Perhaps Roswaal was the same.
Emilia: “If you are, then talk to me. I don't know what I can do for you, but I can help. I mean, up until now you've helped me with so many things, and...”
Roswaal: “—No. That is enough, Emilia-sama.”
But Roswaal's frail voice rejects Emilia's offered hand.
He speaks with the most level voice he has thus far, his eyes numb as he looks down at Emilia. His clown makeup—beneath those laughing cosmetics, Emilia can tell that he is suppressing his emotions to a painful extent. She gulps.
Roswaal's expression looks like he has given up on absolutely every single thing there is.
Emilia: “Enough... what do you mean?”
Roswaal: “What it sounds like I mean. I do not intend to have you understand my plots, and these two's wounds and the TRIAL... and even the Royal Selection doooooooon't matter a for a second any more. —For already this world is an ending one.”
Emilia: “An ending world... or, what's this about it not mattering? The Royal Selection and the TRIAL don't matter... Roswaal, what are you saying!?”
Emilia yells in anger, unable to comprehend what Roswaal is saying.
Roswaal is bathing in suspiciousness. But the hollowness of his expression, and the mana encircling his form, are so abounding in emptiness that it could physically constrict.
Roswaal's heart was presently hitting the peak of instability.
While did Emilia understand that, his claims were not something she could accept.
What Roswaal wanted to abandon was everything important to Emilia, an undefinable something which Subaru's risk-taking had demonstrated.
Garfiel's shouts had clearly illustrated where his stance lie.
He wanted to destroy the tomb, and keep the TRIAL from existing any further.
What was he seeking by making SANCTUARY's barrier unbreakable? Probably an unchanging day to day life, is what Emilia just kind of figures.
And Emilia could sympathize with Garfiel's stance.
Going without changes, being able to go unchanged. That path was a tranquil one, and comfortable. If you could have a mundane life where you spend your time in a peaceful place with those you cherish, then nobody could deny the desire to remain submerged in that environment.
But Subaru point-blank denied that desire, demonstrated his stubbornness, and cast the concept aside.
Emilia was identical to Subaru in terms of stance, for she was urging that change come to
SANCTUARY. But her reasoning was not as definite as Subaru's, nor did she understand the feelings of SANCTUARY's people as thoroughly as he did.
This place was a necessary step along the way for her to achieve her goals, nothing more than a spot where she had trodden. What would those around her think of the changes her interference brought? Being entirely focused on her own interior, Emilia had failed to ask this entirely obvious question.
The one who instead asked had been Subaru.
Once again she had made Subaru shoulder her burden, and overlooked everything.
And it was because she keenly realised that that this presented existed.
But Roswaal was trying to discard this present which Subaru's risk-taking had opened.
Emilia: “Roswaal... what are you trying to abandon? It's what... what started with you and me, right? And halfway through, you're... this isn't forgivable!”
Emilia snarls, for Roswaal's brows to react.
A wisp of strength returns to him as he covers his blue eye with his hand, his yellow eye trembling.
Roswaal: “It started with me and you? What are you talking about?”
Emilia: “Huh...?”
Roswaal: “It started with me and my Teacher. —Assuredly, nooooooooot you. And so, allowing it to end should be within my own and my Teacher's liberty. Of course it is.”
Emilia: “You can't just do that!”
Even with the incredible aura overpowering her, Emilia raises his voice.
She glares at the clown, swinging her arms up.
Emilia: “So maybe it did start with you and this person... but the issue isn't just about you two any more. It's not just my issue either. We dragged lots of people into it, caused problems for lots of people, and we've kept going like that! You can't just go ending it whenever you want!”
Roswaal: “The road leads only to end now. So whaaaaaaaat could be inconvenient about letting it all end beeeeeeeefore we reach that terminus? Indeed it was hopeless for us… We'll place our expectations in our next selves, and Subaru-kun.”
Emilia: “In Subaru?”
Put expectations in Subaru, meaning what, exactly?
Emilia glances at the fallen Subaru, renewing her awareness that Roswaal's words must not become reality.
Of course.
Subaru had already done more than enough. If expectations were put in him, he'd answer them excessively. They should not be seeking any more from him than he has already done.
When something is given, it naturally ought to be repaid.
Emilia: “How can you say that the path Subaru opened leads to the end? Subaru's group all worked together to open a closed path. Isn't that what this battle was?”
Roswaal: “To go either left or right will lead to a dead end. When faced with this crossroads, aaaaaaaaaany struggle is in vain. For, the entirety of the truly correct course is written here.”
Roswaal withdraws a black tome from his pocket.
Seeing this unfamiliar thing, an impulse rises inside Emilia, clawing at her chest. Her eyes open wide.
That book gives her a terribly bad feeling.
It has no title or cover-wrap, looks an entirely mundane book, but for some reason just looking at the tome makes Emilia feel a pressure which nigh fosters mental instability.
Emilia: “That book's...”
Roswaal: “A replica of the BOOK OF WISDOM. Or perhaps it could be called a superior gospel. To all except myself its writing appears as illegible scribbles, but not for me. It is a text which accounts the path along the correct history, which ought to be followed.”
Emilia: “History which ought to be followed... you mean like the Dragon Stone?”
Roswaal: “They follow the same principles should you trace back their roots, is what Teacher told me.”
Only when Roswaal says the word 'Teacher' does emotion return to his eyes.
His tone was one of envisioning someone darling, as if that simple two-syllable word had long carried emotion he could not fully suppress, a diction which allowed much such supposition. Roswaal was capable of thinking of someone this way, no issue at all. He was capable, but he was attempting to deem everything he saw as worthless.
Emilia: “You mean, because we're going a different course than what that book says, you'll ruin everything? But what will doing that accomplish? If we look for a different path, different from the book, which isn't a dead end...”
Roswaal: “You're saying the exact same things as Subaru-kun. Is this another idea coming second- hand from him?”
Emilia: “—hk!”
Roswaal laughs slightly. Feeling that he hit the bullseye, Emilia's throat jars. Her expression prompts Roswaal to give a bored sigh.
Roswaal: “Borrowed words, opinions pre-prepared. Even the idea that you ought to challenge the TRIAL was something that you were pushed into... Weeeeeeeeell, I will not fault you. It was I and those around you who demanded that you do it, not yourself. Words spoken with the knowledge that your empty, insignificant self can do nothing other than this... Subaru-kun encourages cruel things.”
Emilia: “Cruel things...”
Roswaal: “The subject here is him, so ooooooof course he went without explaining the logical necessity or whatever have you about challenging the TRIAL, and merely gave you a motivating speech, yes? He pushed his complacency onto you, and claimed that you could do it if you willed. Indeed. Iiiiiiiindeed I know. Aaaaaaaaafter all, he and I are oooooooof the same breed.”
Emilia: “You and Subaru are the same? What do you mean?”
Roswaal: “It means that we impose our ideals upon the women we love.”
Assertion.
Roswaal closes one eye, gazing at Emilia with the yellow. His smile is strong as he throws statement upon statement at the silenced Emilia.
Roswaal: “With what words did he accost you? Entirely statements pleasant to the ear, yes? He spoiled you, imposed ideals upon you, treated you so tenderly and carefully as if he were handling a fragile object. He didn't consider for a second that you are in actuality weak and brittle, that you are fearful and desire to flee, that you possess such a mundane breed of heart. He doesn't have a shred of interest in the real you. What he's infatuated with is the sparkling version of you he has in his own head. —Cooooooooorrect?”
Emilia: “—”
Roswaal: “I am also that way. With her, I only saw the ideal. You're wonderful, you're brilliant, there's none greater than you. That's how I consoled her, what I kept telling her, focusing my love as if handling a work of glass... even though those things carry not even the slightest of meaning.”
Speaking quickly, Roswaal averts his gaze, seemingly irritated.
Was he talking about Subaru, or was he discussing himself? Perhaps not even Roswaal himself could clearly distinguish it.
Overwhelmed by his momentum, Emilia takes a small breath.
Takes it so that can say what she has to say, even though intimidated by Roswaal's attitude.
Emilia: “...That's all?”
Roswaal: “—”
Emilia: “That's all the common points you think there are between you and Subaru?”
Roswaal looks suspiciously at Emilia.
A doubtfulness has risen inside him. His neglect to say anything is obviously his answer to Emilia's query. Which means yeah, she has to say it for him.
She has to correct his idea.
Emilia: “If that's all you were trying to say, then...”
Roswaal: “—”
Emilia: “You and Subaru are nothing alike.”
Indeed, Subaru had spoken lines upon lines of idealism, and not explained the significance of liberating SANCTUARY to Emilia.
But Subaru's argument assuredly did not consist entirely of niceties and Emilia-focused lip service.
Emilia: “So, Subaru, he called me a pain in the ass of a woman.”
Roswaal: “...What?”
Emilia: “That who do I think I am, doing so much crap but causing so many problems. Always fussing over what's already gone, stop giving others these empty expectations. Every word out your mouth is just insincere talk, you're lacking in everything, it's unbearable to watch. —Subaru said all of this for me.”
Roswaal: “—”
Emilia: “Subaru is paying proper attention to me. Now I'm thinking that I can't keep showing him only my lame parts. You pretend you're looking ahead when you're really not looking at anything at all. You're nothing like Subaru.”
If Natsuki Subaru was someone who could only envision an idealised image of Emilia, then surely she would still be hugging her knees inside the tomb.
And with Garfiel, too. If his opponent had not been Subaru, who knew more than the ideals but nonetheless opted to argue with idealism, then he would not have listened.
Subaru saw Emilia's weakness, but still told her he loved her.
Subaru knew Garfiel's kindness, but still demanded he change.
Whoever they were, if they wished to stay stuck in one place, Subaru would run over and reprimand them.
You can't be here, there's more you can do, raise your head, look forward, swing up your fists, you don't have time to be staying put.
—You can't stay standing still forever.
Roswaal: “Natsuki Subaru, made the correct choice in this SANCTUARY...? That kind of ludicrous thing couldn't... that would mean, the writ of this Book of Wisdom...”
Emilia: “My memories were revived, and I was anxious. Puck went away, and I was close to being crushed.”
The discrepancy between what he thought and the answer Subaru gave leads Roswaal into confusion.
Emilia puts her hand to her chest, not to feel for the presence there, but to feel the thumping of her heartbeat.
Emilia: “I thought that, once I remembered everything, I'd turn into somebody else. I thought that, once that happened, it'd wind up that the person I've been until now was wrong.”
Inside her mind even now is a girl lost in memories.
Once that girl attains a definite image, someone irreversible will appear.
Once they come, Emilia's world will change completely.
Emilia feared that change, leaned toward rejecting it, but, she knew the shift was necessary.
No matter what changes, that will not make the path she has walked thus far disappear.
No matter how Emilia changes from hereon, even if she becomes a self with a differing origin than what she currently has, that does not make the feelings she presently holds a mistake.
She may be at stalemate, may have stopped still, but she would walk again. Sight what direction seems forward, and proceed.
Emilia: “When I want to do something, when I want to change something, when that's what I want to do—I have someone who will tell me it's okay, and lead me forward. That's what I learned.”
Roswaal: “That is trickery!”
Emilia: “It's not a lie at all. Subaru told me he believes in me, and I want to believe in him. Though what he said might look like baseless nonsense. Though I might want to say it was a lie... I have to make it so that it isn't a lie.”
She did not want to let the label of 'liar who went around preaching about the insubstantial hopes there are in useless unsalvagable Emilia' fall onto Subaru.
Natsuki Subaru asserted that Emilia could do it.
And presently, Emilia was making that statement a lie.
But if she broke through her shell, and achieved what she could do, his lie would not be a lie. These were what people called WISHES.
Emilia: “Turning lies into wishes, by doing these things I have to do now, is what I want to do.”
As Subaru frantically, desperately taught her.
What rested inside Emilia, previously beyond her ability to put into form, finally takes shape as words.
She cannot tell whether this is truly the correct answer.
What would change something indefinite into something correct would be Emilia's actions. And she would like to proceed without hesitating to do it, without indecision about it.
Roswaal: “—! Absurd!”
Roswaal's face pales as he draws backward.
He casts away his usual composure, and the emptiness he had until now, strangling out his voice with his expression despairing, shivering in fear at Emilia's answer.
He swings up his arm, points at Emilia. His voice cracks as he shouts.
Roswaal: “Why, how! How did you wind up reaching that answer now, here!? How did Natsuki Subaru earlier communicate to you something I couldn't communicate to Teacher!? Him, right now! At this stage! It isn't okay for him to achieve those feelings!”
Emilia: “I remember what I was afraid of. Right now I'm in the middle of steeling myself to face it... what are you afraid of?”
Roswaal: “It's obvious! Deviations from the writ! Going on without history proceeding as it is written here, and no longer being able to achieve our promised reunion! What else would I be!”
Emilia: “But it feels like that isn't what you're having a problem with right now.”
Roswaal: “—!”
A fire of rage sparks in Roswaal's eyes.
He was voicing was his wrath at the fact that he could not sympathize with Subaru's mentality. Roswaal wanted Subaru to feel something which he himself had experienced in the past. What he said before about him and Subaru being the same breed probably had been no idle bantering, but what Roswaal was convinced should be the way of things.
Perhaps he thought that himself and Subaru should follow down the same stream in how they confronted their lovers, and suffer the same wounds.
That unshakeable conviction of his was now close to crumbling.
That was how Emilia perceived Roswaal's present turmoil.
Roswaal: “Aaaaguh, what is happening! How is this happening to me of all people!”
Roswaal puts his hand to his mouth, uncaring of his paint as it falls away, his cheeks twisting.
Roswaal: “Have I been dancing on strings since the moment of the bet? Garfiel's loss, and Emilia's recovery, all of it was calculated? ...Was I in error from the moment I started making plots in counter to a sage's ability to preclude? ...But then, for what purpose am I...”4
Emilia: “Roswaal?”
Absorbed in a dizzying storm of thought, Emilia's presence flies out of Roswaal's awareness.
What he's thinking about so frantically is probably how to correct a world that has deviated from his plans.
But no method to achieve such a thing existed in this world any more.
Emilia did not know what kind of prophecies were written in his book.
Roswaal is this cornered. The deviation must be incredible.
So much so that you could already call this place a different world—
Roswaal: “—Ahh, I see.”
Roswaal slips a mutter.
His voice has regained its intelligent tone, making Emilia anticipate that he has temporarily dealt with his discomposure. Through a logical conversation, they could find a point of compromise and
—
Roswaal: “There's nooooo need to worry about anything. After all, there's the CONTRACT. There was no puzzling to be had about whether or not he would reach LEGITIMACY.”5
Emilia: “What are you talking about? Roswaal, what is it...”
4Ability to preclude → more literally 'ability to stop action from happening, ability to make someone give up on
their plans; deterrence.'
5Could also be 'no puzzling to be had about whether or not he would reach THE LEGITIMATE X' where X is unspecified.
Roswaal: “Nothing. It was not any thing at all, Emilia-sama. My deepest apologizes for worrying and for troubling you. You best proceed in the way that is desired of you, and that I expect of you.”
Bowing, Roswaal casts away his clownish demeanour as he gives Emilia a smile.
Emilia of course cannot just agree with this. In a complete change from his previous disarray, he's back to his usual attitude.
That the disarray looked the considerably more GENUINE behaviour is insane.
Emilia: “...Acting in a way you expect. What are you expecting from me?”
Roswaal: “It's natural. —That you challenge the TRIAL as you please, and that results be reached.”
Roswaal neglects to mention exactly who those results would favour.
Perhaps he's desiring it whichever way it goes, Emilia just kind of senses.
She doesn't understand why Roswaal desires that.
Nor why he got so cavalier, nor why he swallowed it down and it settled.
It's just a sea of things she doesn't understand. But,
Emilia: “Right now, you... definitely won't tell me about them, will you.”
Roswaal: “...”
Emilia: “It's okay. I won't try to force you to say it. I know I'm not qualified to do that right now. — But don't you get the idea that you can keep hiding it forever.”
Roswaal: “—Heartening, indeed. Knowing the truth, and now recovering yourself, we'll see if you can stay to your bluffs.”
He ends with a rather spiteful statement, but also a statement Emilia finds pleading.
With that, Roswaal turns his back to her and walks. He is likely heading back to the lodgings where he was recuperating.
In the end, she doesn't know why he came here and watched the fight. But the churning dense mass of mana remains, inside Roswaal's body as it pines for a miracle.
Roswaal: “Yes. —Emilia-sama, a warning.”
Emilia: “Yes?”
Roswaal stops, raises his finger. Emilia's brows raise.
Roswaal smiles wryly at the fact that Emila displays a far too undefended attitude when facing someone she had just finished having an effectively hostile conversation with.
Roswaal: “About Garfiel... you would best not underestimate how deep-set hiiiiiiiiiis nature is. His obsession is not so shallow that a simple defeat in a fistfight would change his mind.”
Emilia: “—Got it.”
Emilia accepts it. With that, Roswaal leaves the scene.
She sees him off, to realise that the only things remaining here are Emilia's breathing, and the breathing of the black dragon which had glared at Roswaal's retreating back to the end. And then the deep, sleeper's breathing of the two unconscious men.
Emilia: “Hauhhh...”
Emilia's brows tremble as she gives a deep sigh.
Noticing that Patrasche's eyes widen in response to this, Emilia gives a wry smile.
Emilia: “No, it's okay. It's thanks to you that I kept my composure. ...But that was sooo tense. That could've turned into a fight with Roswaal.”
Patrasche: “—”
Emilia: “Mm. I hate fighting when I don't even know why we're fighting. And why was Roswaal being like that? ...Maybe Subaru would know.”
Emilia replies to Patrasche's caring gaze while she kneels down beside the bloodstained Subaru, and gently lifts him up.
Her fingers rub away the drying blood as she strokes his swollen face. His expression twitches, as if feeling the tickle of the pain.
Emilia: “I need to heal them. Subaru and Garfiel both hate pain.”
Patrasche: “—”
Emilia: “Ah, it's okay, you don't need to look so concerned. I'm a little worried about my control since Puck's not here, but when it's just some simple healing, I can have the minor spirits help.”
Emilia speaks to the surrounding spirits, their dull glow shrouding her form as she enlists their aid. The tender lights veil Subaru and Garfiel, their injuries beginning to mend.
Subaru's expression looks to relax.
Emilia gives a small smile as she gently places his head upon her lap.
How many times has she lent Subaru her lap, now?
She's been given far too many things, so many that she has no idea what to do to repay them.
Emilia: “When you wake up, there are really sooo many things I want to ask you.”
With that whisper, Emilia twines her finger into Subaru's bangs.
Subaru's face scrunches up. Emilia's cheeks relax slightly.
—It happened ten minutes later that Otto emerged from the forest, Ram shouldered on his back, to reconvene with them all.