BXBX NOVEL Arc 6 4: The Reason to Bring You Out
Arc 6 Chapter 4: The Reason to Bring You Out
The conquering of the deathly Augria Sand Dunes in order to reach the Pleiades Watchtower.
The “demon beast manipulator” Meili joined Subaru’s group as a member that would boost their confidence in escaping from the sand maze-a maze containing dens of demon beasts.
They had decided to bring her with them. However, this girl had continued to be the sole person residing in the confinement room of the mansion for a long, restricted period of a whole year because she was helping Roswaal. Subaru knew that there would naturally be arguments over releasing Meili from her confinement considering there was an event where she attacked the mansion through treacherous “bowel hunting”, but——,
[Meili: There’s nooothing wrong with it is there? If people other than Emilia-sama and Subaru-kun are coming too, then there shouldn’t be any problem with me leaving as well, should there? Even if my judgement was inaccurate and she turns out to have bad intentions, you guys are the ones that she’d aim for, youuu know.]
Roswaal readily gave Meilil permission to leave after that. The specifics of his answer were the type of specifics that you couldn’t help but admit that they indeed sounded like things Roswaald would say. But anyways, she had gained his permission for now. Thus, Meilil was able to be safely released from her confinement that she had been in for a whole year.
[Meili: Mm~! Just as I thought, the atmosphere outside is sooo different. Being in that cramped room for soooo long made it hard for me to breathe.]
[Subaru: But still, he tried doing a lot of different things to make you feel otherwise, huh. It wasn’t as bad as you say it was, you know?]
[Meili: Reeally? I appreciate the consideration, but being able to freely move with your body is a whooole different feeling. Onii-san, if you don’t learn to appreciate the small things, you’ll be hated by onee-san and ojou-chan long before you know it, you knoooww.]
Meili pouted with her lips while holding her plethora of stuffed animals. By the way, the person Meili was referring to when she said “onee-san” was Emilia, while the person she was referring to when she said “ojou-chan” was Beatrice. She would refer to Petra as “Petra-chan”, Garfiel as “Fang onii-san”, and thus she’d reasonably refer to Otto as “weak looking person”.
[Meili: Can I rest in this room?]
[Subaru: As far as from what I’ve been told, there shouldn’t be problem. Someone came in to clean this place-despite it being a room that isn’t used very often-so you shouldn’t feel uneasy about it being dirty or anything like that. Frederica should have came to clean the room right around the time we brought our luggage out as well, so.]
[Meili:….Okay.]
There was this place within the western wing of Roswaal’s mansion. This place was the room that Meili continued to look around curiously——the inside of the room that was located at the corner of the private maid room.
Meili thoroughly tried to experience just what it was like to be free from confinement. Of course, it was necessary to have someone look over the mansion so that it wasn’t neglected. But what exactly was her role? Was she a guest? Was she a maid? Her role wasn’t far off from a guest, but it would also be unfair to miss the part of her that made her a maid.
Thus, she would be labeled as a “cooperative worker” of the mansion, as it would have been insufficient to call her a maid, and it would have been insufficient to call her a guest. She would take care of this one room on the maid floor as if it represented the second half of her internal body. She brought in each of her belongings that were previously kept in her confinement room, making it seem as if this bland room was being dyed with color.
[Meili: Even if I’ve been freed like this, I don’t know how long I’ll be staying here, you know. When a prospect that looks like an opportunity to live peacefully rises, I might immediately run away, after all.]
[Subaru: Well what’s most important is that you don’t cause trouble. So, as long as you don’t bring me to that frightening mother of yours, you can do whatever you’d like. Oh but, I’ll make sure you carry out your next job properly. After that, then you can do whatever you want.]
[Meili: You’re saying that when i-i-i-it’s all taken care of, I can die wherever I want?]
[Subaru: I have to even hear about stuff like that? Why would I care about where someone dies? …..That’s what the cynical, pretentious me of the past would say, but I won’t say stuff like that now.]
After Subaru set down all her belongings into the room, he petted Meili’s head as she stood still at the window. This girl with braided, chestnut hair twinkled her eyes as Subaru continued to pet her head.
[Subaru: I want my gang to be prepared to honestly risk their lives no matter what. You can be out however much you want, but if you’re going to be out like that, you might as well follow the one thing the letter said; that is, you should just enjoy this time as genuinely as you can.]
He gave a light pat to her head at the end of his statement and then brought his hand back. After receiving a light tap to her head from the hand that previously caressed her hair, Meili glared at Subaru with scornful eyes.
[Meili: ……Onii-san, did you win over Ojou-chan and Petra-chan like that? Jeeez, even being in constant caution of you isn’t enough.]
[Subaru: That aaactually wasn’t my intention, you know.]
After Subaru finished helping Meili bring her personal belongings in, he scratched his head and then headed towards the room’s exit. He did not have any intention of possibly helping with the rearrangement of the room upon completing the task of bringing in her stuff. On top of that, there was a helpless wall separating Subaru’s sense of rearrangement and Meli’s sense of rearrangement. Thus, he decided that it would be best to depart before doing anything unnecessary that would cause her to dislike him.
[Meili: Well, I’ll take your words with a grain of salt. Besides, you’re going to be throwing your life away soon at the Augria Sand Dunes anyway.]
[Subaru: We aren’t going to throw away our lives; we’re going to assemble our lives. And that’s where we’ll be heavily relying on your powers, so we’ll be counting on you.]
[Meili: Okay, okay.]
Meili swung her hand back and forth and then led Subaru out of the room while holding one of his hands. She brought out each of her belongings out from a box—wearing an indifferent face while avoiding looking at Subaru—and her belongings started to form a temporary arrangement of her own room. Just like Meili said, this was a room that made her feel like she didn’t know how long she would be staying, nor did she know if she’d return.
[Meili: I’m having fun, ahhh.]
This girl indulged herself in her own room as she walked around with a gait that exemplified unrestrained enthusiasm. He was able to partially see the pleasant sight of the liveliness of this girl, which was a liveliness that was exhibited from being satisfied simply by having all of her favorite stuffed animals set down all around the room. It was a type of liveliness that was reminiscent of how a girl of her age would react when she got her very own first room.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
With the decision of adding Meili to the group, the participants in the “Exciting tour to question the Sage” would include this group of 7: Subaru, Emilia, Beatrice, their followers that would be helping from the outskirts—I.E. the three people who were Julius, Anasthasia, and Meili—and then finally the sole girl that they’d finally be able to bring out, Rem. These were the final 7 members who would face the Augria Sand Dunes located at the eastern end of the world.
The direction towards the Augria Sand Dunes—which was a place that was located far off in the world and was a place that was far away from their group—resembled a straight line that pointed towards due east from the eastern Roswaal mansion. However, this journey had a path that was longer than the path one would be required to take to head towards the watergate city Pristella; it would take close to 20 days for just a one-way trip.
In other words, this journey would take a total of 40 days just to go there and back. They would safely arrive at the watchtower, and if they thought about staying there for a couple of days, the length of this large expedition could very well turn into something like 2 months instead. The problem with this was that——,
[Subaru: Heey, Petra. Sorry for leaving you alone. I’ll make you feel better.]
[Petra: Don’t worry~. I’m not angry. It’s fine. Subaru-sama can go to as many faraway, dangerous places as he wants, just like he always has, right?]
Petra was yielding to the harsh depression that resulted from having to stay behind in Pristella for a period of a month, which would soon become a period of two months. This girl walked impetuously around the mansion with a cold, clear face as she waved around her maid outfit—an outfit that was befitting for her petite body. As for Subaru, he was apologizing behind her and was in the midst of running out of words to say to try and fix her mood.
Anyways, while it was necessary for Subaru to become this frantic to figure out how to fix Petra’s mood, girls also had this common assumption about guys in regards to their mood. This common assumption was that, in all times and all places, whenever they became displeased like this, it was usually the guy’s fault.
In reality, Petra was the girl with the most prominent girl power in the mansion. She would proudly display this girl power as the representative for the girls. The only possible unfortunate men in this mansion that could have possibly harmed her mood were Subaru, Roswaal, Garfiel, Otto——wait a second, isn’t that a lot of people? And wait…weren’t all guys unfortunate when it came to power? Puck would also have to adopt this power of pathetic men, as he had to do so in order to carry out his revival. It was beyond pathetic. But anyways—
[Subaru: I know that leaving you behind with Roswaal at the mansion would stress you so much that it would make it hard for you to breathe, but if you were to just reason that it was just another job and did your best to……gooeh!]
[Petra: I don’t get mad over things like that! I’m not a kid! Stop saying weird things like that when I have Ram nee-sama and Frederica nee-sama.]
[Subaru: To think a girl who headbutts the pit of a man’s stomach could claim that she’s not a child is just……]
Petra causing Subaru to faint in agony with a strike to a vital part of his body truly resembled anger. She stuck a prideful pose as she held her waist with both of her hands, and she stuck out her chest to insistently convince him that her appearance resembled a figure that was indicative of anything but a kid. However, a lady’s spirit is something that is completed before her body catches up. As for Beatrice, her body’s growth rate would not catch up at all, so it felt like her spirit was being dragged along as well, but….
[Subaru: But Petra, didn’t you start this headbutt from a higher place than your previous one? Well even then, it felt like there was a small moment at the start of your previous headbutt where you were on your tiptoes before you came flying towards my bosom.]
[Petra: ….I’m dumbfounded. Didn’t Beatrice tell you? Hey! Look! I’ll grow up in a month too, as my back has grown, my legs have grown, and hasn’t my face become cute as well?]
[Subaru: Ah, I guess you did grow a bit? Your back and your hair I mean. Although, your face was cute from the beginning.]
Petra was already the beauty of the Irlam village. Being lured away from the mansion as one of its maids at the time was a complicated situation, as Petra had this fixed image of a girl that everyone wanted to marry. To be more specific, you could cause a sumo wrestling tournament to unfold in the center of the plaza if you challenged these crybabies. The adults would barge in at the end, and the celebration of lifting the somehow beaten up Subaru into the air would reach its end. It would be an enigmatic rite of passage.
Anyways, Petra was this girl who was loved by the villagers. She was a girl who often expressed her sorrow from helping with the mansion. He wanted to use the convenience of having her in the mansion as much as possible for the sake of the extraordinary Petra in the future. That being said, at the same time, Subaru had no power within the mansion, so he would cherish these days to such an extent so that he would continue on without forgetting this type of ordinary life, although—
[Subaru: Also, you weren’t able to be the extremely playful girl that you are. As for your sister with her well-known temper…I am aware of how you feel suffocated from having her tell you to work all the time.]
[Petra: It’s not like that though…..]
Subaru let both of his arms open to console the pouting girl. Petra showed a slightly hesitant gesture, and then she jumped into Subaru’s arms. He hugged her small body, and then petted her head as if it was to reward her.
[Petra: Subaru….I mean Subaru-sama, you’re going to do something dangerous again?]
[Subaru: It’s not as if it’s completely decided that it’s going to be dangerous, you know? Actually, it kinda sounds like I’m saying that you shouldn’t consider the possibility of it being dangerous, but the truth is that it really might be a reasonably safe expedition.]
[Petra: What’s the probability of each outcome?]
[Subaru: I guess it would be a ratio of 8:2, with the safe outcome being the lowest, maybe?]
[Petra: To me, that sounds like it’d be pretty dangerous then.]
Revealing something late into the conversation and not being able to lie were two of Subaru’s unfortunate tendencies. Subaru felt like Petra started to become displeased while being held in his arms. He then he let out a sigh, as he did not understand why she started to act like this. Suddenly, Petra started to rub her forehead against his stomach.
[Petra: I’m worried. Subaru-sama is always like this; ever since you first came to the mansion, and ever since I met you at the village. You’re gonna go take diligent action all over the place again, even when it seems so dangerous. It would be nice if you would learn a thing or two from my lazy Master.]
TL note: Petra actually refers to Roswaal as danna-sama(旦那様), which means master(of the mansion), but master-sama sounds redundant so I’ve decided to omit the sama honorific. If you want, you can help me decide how to write his name here and I’ll change it accordingly: http://www.strawpoll.me/11331289
[Subaru: Nah. Even though Roswaal gave his stamp of approval, he probably still sweats from his forehead when we aren’t there to see it. I agree that he’s useless when it comes to life threatening matters, though.]
[Petra: It was rough with the demon beasts; it was rough with the witch cult; it was rough with the dirt spiders; it was rough with the goddess statue; it was rough at the Elior forest; and it was rough cleaning the graves too. Despite all that, you still fought with the witch cult at Pristella, and then Otto and the others di……still fought.]
TL note: The part with dirt spiders is referring to a time in arc 5 where Subaru, Garfiel, and Otto ended up fending off a multitude of dirt spiders. It was very briefly narrated in arc 5, which is why it may sound unknown to you.
[Subaru: Otto nearly killed us back then.]
“Otto died too much”. Amazingly enough, Subaru was in complete agreement with this, but he wished that he wouldn’t simply die. If Otto were to die, Subaru could no longer let himself die—not to exaggerate it as a friendship that would continue through death or anything like that, though.
[Petra: Why can’t someone other than Subaru-sama do it? Someone—another person…..you should just leave it up to someone stronger or something like that, like Master, since he has the time.]
[Subaru: I…I understand. I understand just how much frustration you’ve had piled up because of how Roswaal wastes his time so often. Stop trying to add things on in attempts to drive Roswaal off to his death. It creates an intense amount of tension in the camp.]
It wouldn’t be a problem if it was just things like Roswaal not noticing how Petra put squeezed juice from cloth into his tea. However, it would obviously be bad if she started to clearly show her hostility and malice. Subaru let out a commanding voice before it would turn out like this, but Petra’ eyed Subaru with a serious look. It seemed like half-assed deception and insincere words wouldn’t be able to convince her. Also, above all, Petra was seriously worried about Subaru’s safety. Saying anything unnecessary and careless in this situation would be disrespectful to Petra’s feelings of anxiety.
[Subaru: Well, I get your point. I really do. It’s true that there seems to be demon beasts on the way to the sage’s tower; it’s true that the desert’s maze is rumored to be ridiculous. And I know how ridiculous it is in the first place to aim for the sage who would become irritated by us coming close to the tower……but even then, there’s no way in hell I’d leave this up to someone else.]
[Petra: …….Why? Subaru-sama, aren’t you perhaps overestimating your own strength? Just let Gafu-san make an embarrassing assumption like that.]
[Subaru: Your critical strictness is seriously ridiculous! There’s no way in hell I’m gonna leave it up to Garfiel!]
Petra’s critical standards were so harsh that it would make a man tremble if he heard them. It would be appropriate to characterize Garfiel’s attitude towards his weakness as one of making false expectations while being unfazed. However, Garfiel made sure to put in earnest efforts to change these “false expectations” into “reality”. Also, in this case, the problem was probably the fact that he’d interpret his ability to make “false expectations” as strength. The matter at hand thus could not be handled by Garfiel, considering his interpretation of his strength and his actual strength.
[Subaru: Well putting the juxtaposition of Garfiel’s impression and his way of thinking aside…..it’s not like I…It’s not like I think there isn’t a person out there that’s more suitable for the job. And first of all, leaving everything up to Reinhard would be safer in all kinds of ways if there were preparations to escape the desert maze.]
[Petra: Then why don’t you let him do it?]
[Subaru: I wonder why. Despite being someone who’s fond of being spoiled, I thought I was someone that didn’t yearn for honor.]
In actuality he really did not understand why he desired to do it like this. His audacious words would simply take form in this way. Whenever his audacious words took form, it would probably become something like such, maybe.
[Subaru: ——Never mind. This is something I want to do myself after all. Even if there might be someone more suited for it out there, even though I know there’d be a higher chance of success that way, I still want to do it.]
[Petra: Why?]
[Subaru: It’s embarrassing but….it’s because I want to be the first one to see her when she wakes up.]
[————]
He didn’t specify who. Even if he didn’t specify, Petra understood who it was. If a way to wake up that girl—the girl who continued to be in a state of deep slumber—was found at the sage’s tower, he wanted to be the one to seize it.
Even if there might be someone else out there who’d be more suitable for the job, even if someone other than himself would have a higher chance of success, this was the sole thing he wouldn’t give up. He didn’t want to give it up. This was Subaru’s ego.
[Subaru: If I were to disregard my feelings and think of it from a rational viewpoint…..anyone could be the one to wake her up. If something like a ridiculous disease of never being able to wake up were to spread, and if we were to only talk about saving them, I wouldn’t care about who’d be the one to develop a vaccine or a specific medicine for it. I wouldn’t care about the process, if it meant saving them.]
[Petra: …..Yeah.]
[Subaru: But if my feelings drive in, I want to do things my way. I want to be the one to save them. I want to be the the one to wake them up. I want to give it my all and save everything.]
——-Thus, Natsuki Subaru would be the one to go.
There were countless others who were stronger.
There were countless others who were more reliable.
There were countless others who were wiser.
There were countless others of class who were more wonderful.
But Natsuki Subaru would ignore all of that, and he would be the one to go. He did this only because he wanted to be praised by this girl after he saved her.
[Subaru: Sorry for disappointing you with my selfishness.]
[Petra: —–You really did disappoint me. Nothing you said changes my feelings.]
[Petra: Hmm?]
After her acknowledgement of Subaru’s shamefulness, Subaru petted Petra’s head while he was prepared for hatred. But after Petra let out an unclear voice, she lifted her head from Subaru’s arms. Subaru was surprised when her round, large eye became clouded by a giant teardrop. And then—
[Petra: Ey!]
[Subaru: Another headbutt—-!?]
Petra swung her pointy head downward, and then her forehead caused great pain to the pit of Subaru’s stomach. Petra aimed at Subaru’s defenseless vitals—which made Subaru fall to his knees—and then she escaped from his arms with an anticlimactic leap. She then closed one of her eyes and stuck out her tongue.
[Petra: Subaru-sama you idiot! You’re selfish! Why don’t you just go do whatever you want!]
[Subaru: gu, uo……..]
[Petra: Because when 2 months pass and you return, I’ll surprise you by becoming a really beautiful girl. Feel free to regret not being able to see that growth up closeby!]
[Subaru: There really is something unfortunate about that.]
It’s not normal for a kid to change during their growth period so suddenly. But Petra was also a glamorous 13 year old. After 2 months passed, she just might have a completely different impression.
[Subaru: To tell you the truth, I also grew 19 centimeters between the 7th and 8th grade……]
[Petra: Huh? That seem’s a little impossible…..]
Well, this was a rare case where Subaru grew because his original height was short.Although Petra broke down the size of his expectations that he bet on, this girl grasped her fist soon after the event. She then thrust both of her fists towards Subaru and made a declaration.
[Petra: Anywayss! What you should do is: go ahead and travel towards dangerous places like you want-worrying everyone and troubling everyone-and after that, come back like you always do.]
[Subaru: It sounds like I’m a pretty big nuisance to others when you say that…..]
Although, when you looked at it that way, the way she described him surprisingly didn’t sound wrong. Anyhow, Subaru pushed out both of his hands as well, and then he matched Petra’s fist with his own.
[Subaru: It’s always troubling for Petra, but I’ll carelessly head towards dangerous places like I always do, and you just wait for me to return like normal after I’m done with doing various things—one after another. It is Petra’s own special right to welcome us back once we return from our journey.]
[Petra: ……You won’t let Frederica nee-sama or Ram nee-sama say it before me, right?]
[Subaru: Yeah. I promise.]
[Petra: Including Master?]
[Subaru: Even if you don’t worry about that, I’d get hit by Roswaal if he were to be the first one to appear when we come back.]
[Petra: …..Mm, I understand. Alright, that convinces me.]
She pulled back her fist that was matched with Subaru’s, and then triumphant spirits started to flow into the sighing Petra. The flow was substantial, and should have looked like a big form of forgiveness, but—
[Petra: Jeez, Subaru-sama can’t be helped…..]
It kinda felt like she was saying this statement in a way that made it seem as if she was talking to everyone. He couldn’t be matched. Those were Subaru’s thoughts.
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Although he wasn’t worried to the point of anxiety, in order to settle an uncertain matter that lied within the mansion, Subaru would finally step inside that room.
[————-]
Entering this room was the only time Subaru would naturally hold his breath and lighten his footsteps. But even if he were to enter the room while singing loudly and tapping with his footsteps, the situation within the room definitely wouldn’t change.
Still, perhaps he unconsciously decided to withhold the silence within the room simply for the sake of the girl who laid down on the bed within the room, whose figure would cause pain to swell up within his chest if he were to look at it excessively.
It was a deep sleep where, if she were to be able to wake up even right at this moment, he would wish for her to wake up. However, he felt that even if that were to happen, if he were to disturb her deep sleep, he would suffer a punishment of some sort, similar to a curse. This girl, who sunk into a deep sleep of everlasting dreams, was precious to him to such degree.
[Subaru: I say that but, that of course is just my own overly subjective belief huh…]
Saying those words with a tone of disbelief, Subaru pulled out a chair aside the bed to sit on. Just like that, one month had passed and he step foot into this room, meeting the face of a sleeping Rem, whose state showed no change from one year ago, now as well continuing to be in a state of deep slumber.
[Subaru: I’m back, but I’m sorry for coming to see you so late. I had some business to take care of…and on top of that I showed a bit of hesitation, making this visit very last-minute.]
[————–]
It was obvious but, of course, there was no response from Rem who was in a deep slumber. Subaru reached out with his voice, despite knowing the fact that there would be no response, and held a calm expression even then. Natsuki Subaru held this expression that he would expose only to this specific girl.
He owned this determined expression, indicating he was ready to throw something away, that he would only show to Emilia. He owned this faithful expression, that made it seem as if he would be able to entrust his life, that he would only show to Beatrice. And then he owned this expression that exposed his weaknesses which he so often tried to conceal, the expression that he would only show to Rem.
[Subaru: I wonder if it’s okay if I talk… Actually, there’s so many things I can talk to you about, you know? Sadly I wasn’t able to visit you before because I was at the watergate city Pristella, but there still really was a lot of things that happened there. It was such a big uproar that, even if I talked to you about it all night, there still would be more for me to tell you. ….But even then, I have plenty of time in the world to talk to you about all that.]
Subaru gently slipped his hand within the bed, searching for the hand of the girl who had a towel blanket up to her chest, and began to make a speech upon grasping Rem’s hand. Within her long fingertips, with her slender, pale arms, her gentleness and existence of her warmth were evident, but for some reason it felt as if the circulation of her blood—–no, a sign of life within her was missing.
A lone force within her was preserving the life within her. However, there was no force within her that was fulfilling the role of moving that life forward.
Rem, with this contradictory situation going on within her, still had her time frozen, trapped within a state of deep slumber. However——,
[Subaru: I might finally reach you.]
[—————]
[Subaru: Of course, it’s also possible for me to make my expectations too high and not end up being satisfied. Of course, it’s also possible for the sage to fail to live up to her name and end up with nothing, only to have her apologize for her inaccurate information in the end.]
[—————]
[Subaru: But]
A clear way of a solution other than defeating gluttony finally is coming into sight. Although other people would have expectations and would become disappointed at the solutions that were available as a result of following a journey like this, the answer that he followed this road for still resembled a symbol of hope that he would finally seem to be able to lay his hands on.
[Subaru: Because Echidna freaked out and didn’t listen]
Within the sanctuary, within the witch’s graveyard, when he was invited to that surreal tea party, meeting the Witch of Greed along with Echidna, Subaru rejected the witches, escaping from the control of their hand. Natsuki Subaru made this decision in order to protect his own fragile soul, but at the same time it was a decision that distanced himself from people who could have (possibly) helped him find a way to save Rem.
Of course, he wasn’t aware the extent to which Echidna held an opinion of the Archbishops brandishing their power. But maybe, if he still were to reveal his circumstances, perhaps he would have been able to come up with a solution after hearing the Witch’s input.
He was confident that he made the right decision, and his immediate rejection of the witch’s demands was something that resembled his determination. But time was running out, and when he became aware of the fact that it felt as if the nature of the passing seasons was leaving Rem behind, he became worried about whether or not his decision was the correct one after all.
Even if he promised from the bottom of his heart that he would save her, he himself had not yet taken any definite action that would achieve such. He had only been able to slip through from the feeling of entrapment he felt from the stalemate he had been in, and was finally now able to do something for her sake.
In order to save the multitude of people-the multitude of men within the town of Pristella who were suffering the same type of fate as Rem-he went on a journey towards the Pleiades watchtower. However, if you were to point out his real motive, the real reason Subaru moved forward towards this watchtower was because of Rem; nothing else was a real possible candidate for being his true reason. It was unreasonable and inappropriate, even while understanding that, Subaru continued to—–.
[Subaru: I will save you, Rem. That is my oath.]
Just like she was there for Subaru during those fragile days, in those times- Now was the time when Subaru wanted to be the one there for her and offer his hand, in these times where Rem needed someone’s hand the most.
[——-That hurts.]
[Subaru: ——-!?]
Subaru, who had his eyes closed tight while speaking words of determination, heard that voice which made his face lift up abruptly. He took a look at Rem with a look of inconceivable surprise within his eyes, only to find that she was laying there quietly with her eyes closed, holding onto Subaru’s hand in silence. If that’s the case, then whose voice——,
[Ram: Let go of her hand Barusu. Just looking at how strongly you’re holding her hand brings me pain ]
[Subaru: …..Oh, it’s Ram.]
When Subaru looked back, he saw Ram standing and staring at him with a cold look in her eyes from the room’s entrance. After being relieved by her look, he realized that he had been holding Rem’s hand with his own hand tighter than he thought he was and quickly let go.
[Ram: It’s okay, I can handle watching Subaru violate Rem’s whitebait-like fingers out of his sexual desires.]
[Subaru: Can you not say it like that? That’ll make me feel like the semblance of my previous determination completely turned into something loathsome.]
After Subaru let go of Rem’s hand, Ram, who had stepped into the room, took her hand instead. The older sister gently caressed the slender, white fingers of her younger sister and then looked at Subaru with a side glance.
[Ram: Was your determination really that pure? Carefully reflect on yourself a bit more and make your speech again. …..If you unleash your sexual desires towards me, who looks extremely similar to Rem, Ram will also get the shivers up her back and run away.]
[Subaru: Calm down. Even though your physical appearances are extremely alike, I will never confuse myself when pointing out the difference in radiance held within between you two.]
[Ram: Is that so. I guess that’s fine then. But even if you were to finally find a way to try to wake her up, if you were to meet again with her without remembering who she was, Rem’s feelings would not be at peace. It would be surprising if she were to not hold any detest for you, if your depictions of her during our idle conversations were not just wild fantasies that is.]
[Subaru: Just how little faith do you have in me…we’ve known each other for a long time now you know?]
[Ram: Haah.]
Snorting with her nose like she always did, Ram indicated with her movements that she was about to leave her seat. Along with getting up from her seat, she took a look around the room and then,
[Ram: I need to get ready to leave so, someone also needs to prepare Rem’s second set of clothes. There’s not much sweat on her clothes so changing them isn’t really necessary but…..her body still needs to be wiped off so.]
[———-]
[Ram: Something’s widening below your nose, disgusting.]
[Subaru: I didn’t say anything because there wasn’t really anything to say but, even when I don’t say anything this is the treatment I get!?]
Taking care of Rem’s body—-the Rem who had her name and memories eaten-was essentially unrelated to getting a reaction from her physical body. There was no real palpable practical reason for doing things like wiping her body and changing her clothes. The reason for doing such things was no more than to simply be able to occasionally comfort himself, being able to remind the people around her of her existence, not allowing it to be deserted.
Looking at Ram with disdain, Subaru seemed like he was unreasonably about to act like one of the troupe people, but when he remembered the place he was in he let go of his fist.
[————]
Only considering the ultimate results from doing all this, actions like Subaru making a speech and Ram taking care of her younger sister’s body, nothing really seemed to be indicative of moving forward. He didn’t stop people from taking actions that could be considered pointless, because he realized that even if people didn’t say it out loud, he knew that people still acknowledged the fact that their actions would not bring actual results.
[Subaru: Isn’t about time for you to start feeling as if Rem is your real sister?]
[————-]
Subaru asked this question unexpectedly to Ram who, with her caring way of doing things, was looking at the figure of a sleeping Rem with her kindness. Even though Ram bravely took care of Rem, she had no memories of this girl who represented her other half. The girl was so similar to Ram that you couldn’t possibly claim that they were unrelated. But if you solely considered Ram’s true feelings about her, you could say that Ram’s relation to Rem was a weak one.
Still, days like these passed by for a whole year. Even though she had lost her memories of Rem, it was possible for new, different ones to form. Perhaps now definite memories were taking form within Ram.
[Ram: Earnest feelings aren’t things that sprout that easily. I still don’t have memories of her in me and I’ve never witnessed this girl in an awake state. Although I could imagine that she was probably someone of excellence and dignity, similar to myself.]
[Subaru: Sure she was excellent but, I don’t really have any memory of her being that dignified. Rather, there was a lot of times where she would surprisingly be in such a hurry to the point of being reckless, causing me to worry.]
Rem had this other reckless part of her that she would show on occasion. Ram responded to Subaru with an “I see” with a listless voice similar to the wind.
[Ram: Speaking of memories that I do not remember, even if it’s just for amusement, is nothing more than moving backwards. That’s something I’m not very fond of, Barusu.]
[Subaru: Is that so? If you say so, then I’ll stop.]
[Ram: ….After she wakes up, if I regain my memories of her even then, I’ll have plenty of things to talk to her about. But even if say I don’t regain them, if she just were to wake up, as much as she’d want to talk about I would…]
Peeping into the face of her younger sister, Ram played with her bangs with an unchanging expression. Rem’s hair freely drifting down from above her pale forehead, Ram let out a small sigh. Her expression was one that seemed cruel yet gentle to Subaru.
Even if she remembered nothing, even if she lost her memories of her, it wasn’t as if their bond had disappeared. Even if it had disappeared, it wasn’t as if it wouldn’t intertwine again. Those were Subaru thoughts.
[Subaru: Well, leave all that to me. I’ll conquer the sage’s watchtower and then definitely make Rem wake up. And then you two sisters will have your emotional reunion.]
Thus, Subaru said these words in an excessively bright manner, with a deliberately loud voice. If anything, this moment between Subaru and Rem didn’t fit the quiet atmosphere within the room.
Subaru made this speech, only to have Ram look back at him with an extremely confused look.
[Ram: What are you saying, Barusu.]
[Subaru: Huh?]
After that, Ram looked at Subaru with a look that made it seem like Subaru looked like an idiot.
[Ram: Ram will also accompany you on this next journey, so putting it that way is pretty condescending. If it’s going to be an emotional reunion, Ram will act on her own accord.]
[Subaru: That’s news that I haven’t heard before you know!]
In response to Subaru widening his eyes in surprise, Ram looked at Subaru with an even more despising look. Even if she looked at him with that look, he couldn’t know what he hadn’t been told about, and he couldn’t be aware of things that he couldn’t have heard about, so this was an unreasonable situation.
[————–]
In response to Subaru asking about what she was talking about, Ram held a manner of blocking her ears from his words with rejection. This day of preparation as well would gradually pass on, as they wouldn’t be able to have a straightforward conversation.
—–The decision for Ram to accompany him, with a goal of reuniting the sisters Ram and Rem.
A journey beginning with the purpose of meeting the fortune-telling sage, a journey to conquer the Pleiades watchtower-. In total there would be a sum of 8 participants of a large family. That was the type of situation that seemed to lie ahead.