BXBX NOVEL Arc 6 – 60, “A Single Spot of Sunshine”
Arc 6 – Chapter 60, “A Single Spot of Sunshine”
ーーThe『Hall of Memories』and『Louis Arneb』.
“ーーーー”
Yes, in front of the yellow-haired young girl who had responded to his query, Subaru remained silent.
Within the unanticipated space of white, the happenstance meeting with the unanticipated young girl. And, the know-it-all airs of the young girl set up an ambience that she would be willing to talk about various issuesーー,
Subaru: “……First of all, Witch Cult or『Gluttony』, Sin Archbishop, what do you even mean by those.
Louis: “Awa~ ~tsu.”
At Subaru’s remark, whilst he folded his arms and tilted his head, Louis put her hand on her mouth and smiled widely.
If that moment alone was to be excluded, the lone girl standing still within the illusion-like spectacle of sheer white was a location capable of becoming a masterpiece, but the alarm of Subaru’s instincts had been turbulently ringing since earlier.
Subaru’s survival instincts which were highly likely to be of no avail, as a result of being brought up in the tranquil modern day Japan. The reason why they were excited, was a matter of course due to the heterogeneous sense of presence of this young girl.
Along with that, this was the result of being visited with unforeseen circumstances, so it was halfway something which could not have been helped butーー in regards to this existence wielding know-it-all airs, the knowledge Subaru was endowed with was seemingly insufficient.
It was also the case with what she had said just now, Witch Cult, Sin Archbishop, Hall of Memories and whatnot. Perchance, it may have been ordinary knowledge in this world, but unfortunately Subaru possessed no change of such ordinary general knowledge in his hand.
Consequently, he found launching a progressive question to be difficult as wellーー,
Louis: “ーーThe Witch Cult you see is, basically, a gathering of people loathed by this world.”
Subaru: “Oh?”
Louis: “Even onii-san must have at least heard the name『Witch of Envy』, no? The Witch Cult, has a deep connection with that Witch-sama…… we~ll, you can think of it as something like followers.”
Subaru: “……Then, what you said just now, refers to Sin Archbishop, huh.”
Sin and archbishop, had quite a strong ambience of running counter to each other as a combination, but was a naming which suited Subaru’s sense down to a tee.
For upon hearing it even a single time,
Subaru: “It can be understood it’s the name of a villain.”
Louis: “Oh no, well no, ah no, as it’s no, we’re telling you no, even though it’s no you kno~w.”
Horizontally shaking her head in refusal, Louis harboured her own petite body in Subaru’s line of sight. With no signs of the smile fading away from those lips, her refusal was merely in appearance as well.
It was a young girl with her true feelings beyond perception. ーーNo, perhaps it should be said they were vague, with no point to grip on.
Louis: “Don’t tease a tender young girl with such words, onii-san. Even we get hurt, you know? Because we are the owner of a heart more fragile and easy to hurt than all others.”
Subaru: “Not convincing at all. Also, that way of first person, is it cause it’s stuck to your character? Or is it a cool appeal like a one man army. We or us, it’s not stable, you know.”
Louis: “A~h…… you don’t have to worry about that. It’s just that, there are too many selves, so it’s getting airy as to which one is to be the subject, that’s all. At this point, we’re getting sick of it actually, you know.”
Whilst saying so, Louis lightly oriented her gaze downwards, continuing her words saying “But”.
Louis: “It can’t be helped, isn’t it. They are gifts from onii-chan and nii-sama after all, must earnestly accept them or it’ll be disqualification as a little sister. We’re siblings so we must help each other out and cooperate, you know.”
Subaru: “……Well, you’re an adorable? little sister, considerate of your elder brothers. I was the only child so I’m jealous.”
Louis: “Is that so eh? Onii-san may have also gotten a little brother or little sister about now, no?”
Subaru: “Could you stop saying terrifying stuff!? I don’t want to imagine that!?”
Regardless, his parents were an intimate married couple, so something like that actually meant no jest.
If it’s that father and mother of his, they would have another child upon Subaru’s disappearanceーー no, inconceivable.
“ーーーー”
Should Subaru disappear, they would continue searching until they find him, that’s how Subaru’s parents were.
What must have his mother thought of her son, who did not even say any greetings when leaving. What must have his father felt, upon getting to know about that.
He wished, that Subaru’s summoning into the different world was a reincarnation, is what his belief was.
Must he make his parents taste the agony of searching for their disappeared son, then Subaru wanted to say that he came to the different world after dying. That was much more comfortable. It had much more, salvation.
That is whyーー,
Louis: “ーーWe understand, onii-san.”
Subaru: “ーー~hk! Don’t joke around!”
He felt indignant for Louis, who was peeping at Subaru from below, carrying the hair which buried the floor in both of her arms.
It was not as if she had spoken of his current uneasiness. It was merely that having his bitter expression observed, he had been told as if she understood Subaru’s sentiments.
Finding that to be terribly infuriating, Subaru shouted at Louis, and turned his back towards her.
Subaru: “As if you know anything about me! Saying things as you plea……”
Louis: “ーーYou’re inexcusably apologetic towards dad, and mom, aren’t you? Without having said a single word of farewell, you’re regretting how disobedient of a son you were. No, you were always regretting. Both now and earlier, isn’t it?”
“ーーーー”
Yes, with the purport of being aware, whilst continuing the remarks of one showing to be a sympathiser, Louis softly hugged Subaru’s back.
A small, petite frame. Subaru halted his breath and stiffened his body.
Not because of having been nestled with by the young girl. Because of the very content of the young girl’s words.
Those comments of one showing to be a sympathiser, had unmistakably, however, guessed the end of Subaru’s heart correctly.
Louis: “Why do we understand, you say? Isn’t it obvious we’d understand. Because there’s not a single person who knows about onii-san as much as we or us do, after all.”
Subaru: “ーーDon’t touch me!”
Louis: “Ah.”
Louis had a sour look on her lips at Subaru, who swung his arms, raised his breath and took distance.
What the hell. Do females of unknown character in this world, have no hesitation at all in having physical contact with unfamiliar men. Too over-familiar.
It was frightening to possibly abandon the heart weakened by the warmth of that body.
Subaru: “What’s the deal, with you! What do you want to say!”
Louis: “We just want onii-san to be relieved, we’re telling you. It’s alright, it’s alright. There’s a pro~per fullstop, on your feelings for dad and mom. Even if it may be one-sided, it’s with the intention of facing them. Your heart got relaxed, we’re telling you. Pretence, you see.”
“ーーーー”
Whilst deriding, Louis had the nails of her right hand stab into her left arm. With the sound of scratching, with vigour one would get flinched from pain by simply witnessing, she began wounding that thin, white arm.
At Subaru, who knitted his eyebrows upon that deed, Louis unraveled her frighteningly scarlet, long tongue,
Louis: “Pretence, is completely healthy. It makes it look as if there are no problems within one’s heart at all. You’re skilled at it, onii-san, isn’t it. It’s sad that you’re skilled at it, onii-san, isn’t it.”
Subaru distorted his lips, at the speech which seemingly terribly abraded the interior of his chest.
Now on he must abide by the alarm bell of his instinct, which’s way of ringing may undergo change should he go along with her anymore.
Subaru: “I, don’t get what you want to say. I don’t get it, but it’ll become an injury so stop. Well then, let’s play the catch of conversation. No beamers allowed. Let’s keep in mind to only throw curveballs.”
Louis: “Mutually?”
Subaru: “Mutually. Yeah, for example…… let’s continue the conversation about Sin Archbishops, from earlier.”
Without staying on board with Louis’ way, Subaru returned the topic to what it was just recently.
If he got to know Sin Archbishop was Sin Archbishop literally, then he had some knowledge of the associativity between the words sin and『Gluttony』.
Subaru: “If you are『Gluttony』, then? there must be six other similar people, no?”
Louis: “If onii-chan and nii-sama are also included, then that would make exactly six, we guess? Ah, but, it got reduced by two people recently so there may be four people now. If only those two could just die quickly as well, you know.”
Subaru: “……If that’s what you say, then your sense of comradeship seems to be pretty low.”
Louis: “It’s obvious, you know. We may name ourselves as something like Sin Archbishops, but we are just a gathering of people loathed by this world anyway. Just the way of calling us is different, but we’re the same as the『Witch』after all.”
Saying so, Louis flopped and knelt down at that spot. When she did that, she appeared as having her self sunken within hair of gold threads, an extremely peculiar ambience.
Subaru scratched his head, settling his hips onto a position making sure as to her hair did not get crushed underneath, and tilted his head saying “Witch?”.
Subaru: “Same as the Witch you say, you mean same as the Witch which seems to be believed as being excessively frightening?”
Louis: “As one would expect, the nature of the『Witch of Envy』is worse than even us so we don’t want to be lumped together, you know. The rest is the same. Both『Witch』and Sin Archbishop, are the same thing which are just called differently. The good-for-nothings compatible with the Witch Factors, are just called differently due to different eras and positions, that’s all.”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “We~ll, the present onii-san has forgotten about『Witches』and Sin Archbishops, and us anyways, so whichever one may be fine, you know. We get it, we do get it, we get it you know, as we get it, but we got it, because we got it, because we had gotten it……”
Subaru: “Shut up.”
Louis: “Ah.”
Mouthing off, intercepting the words assailing upon him like a wave, Subaru put his hand on his chin.
Somehow or the other, it also felt like he was getting to hear things which were quite important. Though it was a speech Subaru couldn’t make a single pinpoint at, it seemed he could remain without getting into an awkward situation of returning under Emilia and the rest without any harvest.
However, Subaru pondering here was not due to the existence or nonexistence of that achievement.
Subaru was pondering here due to the unease he felt from Louis’ responses, which could be avoided no moreーー no, it was sensation which should be labelled as one which he was already familiar with.
With that as the reason, if there was anything that struck his mindーー,
Subaru: “Could it be, you’re a lineage of gods?”
Louis: “Lineage of gods, you say…… ah, is it this? Something like, reincarnation into different worlds? Don’t really get it, but us and that are unrelated. Certainly, this is a place which can feel weird, though.”
Chuckling and mocking, with her yellow hair underneath her buttocks, Louis turned her body around once at that very spot, and denoted the white world possessing nothing with her lightly fluttering hair.
Louis: “This is, a place just as how it appears. A place where e~verything disappears, that’s why, a place with nothing. We’re standing here all alone, that’s why we may seem like the guardian deity of this place, isn’t it.”
Subaru: “The cradle of Od Lagna, was it? Including the name Hall of Memories as well, nothing at all got into my head from head to toe.”
Louis: “Hm, hm, hm, hm~, guess so…… Basically, this is the place where souls are filtered.”
Subaru: “Filtering, souls?”
At the expression difficult? to be accustomed to, Subaru had question marks float within his mind.
Filtering, in other words had the same implication as saying sieving, but it was rare to hear it being utilised with regard to souls.
However, Louis, with a happy expression, pulled her knees towards herself and said “Yes, yes”.
Louis: “You use a dust cloth which had been used once again after washing and drying it, no? The same goes for souls. By clearing the dirt stuck onto it, it is used once more when in a clear state again.”
Subaru: “That, dirt stuck onto it…… does it mean memories or experiences and stuff?”
Louis: “If that’s what you can understand, then let’s keep it that way, alright? Onii-san, do as how you’d like.”
Distorting his cheeks at Louis, who had her tongue out, Subaru turned his head around towards the environs.
As ever, white spaceーー in the Hall of Memories, existed nothing novel to the eyes. Within the endless white world, any easy to understand exhibit was not present either.
For argument’s sake, if this place was indeed how Louis spoke of it, then there could have been levitating disembodied souls, or the filtered memories or experiences rendered visible in some form.
Louis: “It’s not something so easy to comprehend, you know.”
Subaru: “That god called Od Lagna is pretty malicious, isn’t it.”
Louis: “It’s not an article so great as to be called god, that thing. That thing has nothing like such splendid ideology, after all. It’s just a mechanism, you know. A mechanism for keeping the world from breaking is what it is.”
Subaru: “A mechanism……”
Louis: “Whether its Witch Factors, or Divine Protections, or『Sword Saints』, or『Witches』, it considers nothing, you know. If there’s something nice about Od Lagna, it’s just that it’s uninterested, equal, impartial, and favours nothing.”
Narrowing her eyes with seeming disinterest, Louis interposed her own face in the space between her knees which she had pulled towards herself. Sidelong glancing at her, who had her cheeks curved by her white kneecaps, Subaru took a short inhale.
She was a young girl who had continued conversing quite obediently till now. He could think that perhaps, she had not spoken any seemingly? false lies either. That is precisely why, Subaru inhaled.
Inhaling, exhaling, inhaling once more, and then, he looked at her.
And, asked her.
Subaru: “ーーThe one, to steal my memories of everything till yesterday, is it you?”
Louis: “Yeah, so?”
The offender responded to Subaru’s question, too swiftly.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
“ーーーー”
With his doubt readily responded to, Subaru closed his eyes.
He felt, that he would not be denied much. She must have done something like that, that is why she had judged so much about him with the dialogue they had in this meagre time, is how he felt.
Louis, knew far too much. She was deeply, far too au fait with the emotions of Subaru’s heart.
Also including precisely that which the present Natsuki Subaru could never be aware of, Louis Arneb was thoroughly informed regarding『Natsuki Subaru』.
It was not something which could be falsely classified with words like it being a type of observation seldom seen, that is precisely why Subaru had gone ahead and asked with complete honesty, and attained its affirmation.
Mysteriously, what was welling up in his chest was not rage, but understanding.
In other wordsーー,
Subaru?: “So the me of yesterday, did indeed come here as well, huh.”
Louis: “Speaking strictly, the way of arrival was a bit different, you see. But we~ll, the purpose was the same. The result was slightly? different, that’s all. But, how amazing. How wonderful. After how many times, did you manage to come here?”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “Hey, answer, onii-san. We answered, you know. ーーAfter having gotten eaten by us, what count of onii-san are you, onii-san?”
At that question of Louis’, chills ran through the muscles around Subaru’s spine.
Her eyes, questions, were clearly in the way of one aware of the conviction of『Return by Death』.
No, it was a matter of course. It was but a matter of course.
If she had stolen the memories of『Natsuki Subaru』, and had the ability to freely read those memories, then there was nothing odd about her knowing of『Return by Death』.
『Return by Death』, was not a power wielded only by the Subaru who had lost his memories, but must have unquestionably been the power which『Natsuki Subaru』wielded prior to losing his memories.
Certainly,『Natsuki Subaru』had made free use of that power, and sailed across a great number of difficult situations. The result of that was the trust he gained from Emilia, Beatrice, his comrades, the testimony of cheat = foul as it were.
Subaru did not intend to find faults in that. Whether it be cheating or foul play, if in a setting where someone’s life was on the line, there mustn’t be any hesitation in utilising it. The choice『Natsuki Subaru』made was correct. That is why, Subaru must do the same now, when『Natsuki Subaru』was absent.
And, accepting there being worth in its application, he gulped down the power of『Return by Death』.
However, contrary to that resolve, there existed a queer uneasiness, anxiety, in the interior of Subaru’s chest.
Louis Arneb was infringing that difficult to repel fear, that taboo.
That wasーー,
Louis: “ーーAbout how nobody must get to know? If it’s about that, then it’s too late already, onii-san. Us meeting onii-san happened yesterday, no?”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “The『Rule』about how nobody must get to know, has already been broken way long time back. But, happenings of the Hall of Memories don’t leak outside easily. That’s why the scary, scary『Witch』won’t make a move.”
Quickly, with her limbs on the ground, Louis drew her face closer to Subaru, who was sitting cross-legged. She expressed a bewitching smile unsuited to her age, whilst having her scarlet tongue peeking out,
Louis: “Hey, onii-san. Which time is this?”
At that tone of voice which seemed as if her tongue was directly pecking at his brain, Subaru tasted a numbing pain.
And then, having his tongue and throat tremble faintly,
Subaru: “……It’s, the fifth time.”
Louis: “ーー~tsu! Amazing, how amazing, so amazing, it’s amazing, isn’t it amazing, we’re telling you it’s amazing, because it is amazing, because it is amazing that we admire and yearn for it…… gluttonous drinking ~tsu! Gluttony ~tsu!”
Subaru: “Gah ~hk!”
Louis: “We irresistibly want to taste onii-san so much, that our stomach would be filled to bursting! From our experiences, we think appetite and sexual desire are similar. Sexual desire in other words is love, right? In other words, onii-san, weーー”
Thrusting away Subaru, Louis, who was in the position of riding a horseback, breathed out warm sighs with an aroused face. With blood rushing to her cheeks and eyes spellbound, Louis had her tongue crawl on Subaru’s neck lacking any hesitation.
At the same pace, the words she tried to continue on to, his thoughts finally caught up to what they would beーー,
『ーーLove you』.
His heart exploded, reminded of the words of love fired at Subaru countless times in the previous loop, wherein he had desired『Death』under circumstances which took a hopeless turn.
Subaru: “ーーLet’s see, you tiny damn sexologist ~hk!”
Louis: “ーーUhi.”
Opening his eyes, Subaru seized the nape of the young girl who was pressing him down, and at the same pace violently, coercively pushed her down onto the white floor. Exchanging their stances, this time it was Subaru in the position of riding a horseback atop her.
A slender, light figure. The long yellow hair stretching out on the floor, like a golden bed she was lying sprawled upon, whilst Subaru kept a check on her neck and bared his canines, seemingly in a position of having pinned her down.
Subaru: “Did you, let your guard down? How unfortunate! In this position, I have an overwhelming advantage! If you don’t want to get your neck strangled like this, my memories are to be……”
Louis: “Returned, you say? You’ll strangle the neck if they’re not returned? Our neck, a feeble little girl’s?”
With her neck arrested, in the state of having gotten the right over her life and death seized, Louis gazed at Subaru, who was breathing roughly through his nose, and loosened her lips with the earlier excitement in her eyes not dimmed in the slightest.
And, from her loosened lips, she asked with an imitative voice which felt as if it were a curse.
Louis: “Is onii-san, really going to do something like that?”
Subaru: “ーーDo you think, I can’t?”
Louis: “Not really think, we actually know, isn’t it. After all, look, it’s such that the current us know more about onii-san than onii-san himself anyway.”
Whilst saying so, Louis repeatedly nudged her cheeks with the index fingers of both her hands, and tilted her head as if provoking. Holding his breath at that attitude of hers, Subaru looked down onto his right hand which had grasped Louis’ neck.
Should Subaru want to show his seriousness a bit, all he had to do was to pour strength into his arm.
Should he show his seriousness, Louis would certainly reconsider her ideas as well.
Were he to be asked whether he would kill her, that would certainly be difficult. Arduous.
Even for a just cause, like being a suicide assistant, Subaru was unable to smash consciousness out of his comrade’s mind.
So even if he knew it was an enemy of his, powerfully strangling the neck of the young girl before his eyes was.
No, at least strangling he was capable of. It was a necessity.
He called back to Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Meili, Julius, Echidna, Shaula, Patrasche, everyone in his mind, and.
Andーー,
Louis: “ーーStrength has faded away from your arms, isn’t it, onii-san.”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “We really had no intention of resisting, you know? After all, over here we are just as how it appears or a weak young girl. Unlike onii-chan or nii-sama, we must take the form of eaten people or we can’t put out any powers, isn’t it.”
With the finger that had been nudging her own cheek, Louis nudged Subaru’s right hand which was gripping to Louis’ neck. With that frail strength, Subaru’s palm let go of her neck far too swiftly.
Subaru: “Shit…… ~hk!”
Louis: “Don’t feel down anymore, onii-san. It was a good performance, a good performance. After all, to be honest…… it’s such that we didn’t even think that onii-san would come back here.”
Subaru: “Do you think, that’s any good consolation?”
Continuing to remain in the pushed down stance, Louis, who was lying sprawled on the ground, made an expression suggesting already being over with the worst. Destroying that expression, he searched for words in order to convey his demands, but was unable to find anything precise.
That is why, looking at Subaru, who ended up making an utterance like that of a poor loser, Louis raised her voice saying “Ahaha” similar to observing fish swimming inside an aquarium,
Louis: “But we~ll, it turned out nicely, did it not. If something like the memories of『Natsuki Subaru』are regained, the current onii-san will end up dying is what that means anyway, stay without doing something idiotic like committing suicide, you know.”
Subaru: “……Ah?”
Louis: “Huh, what’s with that weird reaction? It can’t be, did you not notice? If memories return, the current self will get overwritten, and its existence will get terminated…… That’s, the same as dying, no?”
ーーSubaru was petrified at that attitude of Louis’, as if she were asked the solution to an obvious riddle.
He shall die. He shall disappear, vanish. So was he distinctly told.
So he was told, upon the return of the memories of『Natsuki Subaru』, the consciousness, the memories of the Subaru present right here right now shall get overwritten, and will disappear, vanish.
Should it not be named as『Death』, what should it beーー,
Louis: “ーーRight now,『Natsuki Subaru』is dead, isn’t it. He’s nowhere, after all. But, if『Natsuki Subaru』comes back, this time it’ll be onii-san who will die, isn’t it. He won’t be able to go anywhere, after all.”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “Um you kno~w, does『Natsuki Subaru』really have the worth to go so far for and be recovered eh? Onii-san must also be capable of doing the same things, no? Onii-san must have also come to love the people around him in the same way, isn’t that right. The people around too will also come to love onii-san the sa~me way. ーーWhat’s so wrong with that?”
Subaru: “What’s……”
So wrong with that, should that be asked, then certainly there was nothing wrong with it.
Certainly there was nothing wrong with either『Natsuki Subaru』or Natsuki Subaru.
Subaru was a human possessing numerous flaws. Filled with flaws such that he would be repulsed by himself. Should he be asked whom he hated the most in this world, he would answer it was himself without being perplexed? for even a second.
That was how hopeless, insufficient Natsuki Subaru was.
However, there present were no errs in Subaru with regards to this particular question.
ーーWhat was present was merely the hopeless truth, a single spot of sunshine.
Subaru: “To Emilia-chan and the others, I……”
Wanted to return『Natsuki Subaru』back.
That is why, he intended to prepare a resolve within himself that should he find a chance to recover memories, he shall take it without any hesitation.
However, he had completely averted his eyes away from the disappearance of his own existence.
Speaking of sheer conveniences, the two memories blending together, or some part of『Natsuki Subaru』being left within the current Subaru, he had thought if something like that could not happen, he had thought if it could all not be settled in a nice shape of some sort, he had expected the occurrence of such a miracle.
Such uncertain expectations of Subaru wereーー,
Louis: “What would it be like? Never seen a person who had their memories returned before, so we have no idea.”
Louis unveiled her teeth, as if ridiculing Subaru’s conflict, with the expression in her eyes being that of a cat tormenting a mouse.
The offender who heisted these memories, even irresponsibly, was pleased to say that she knew nothing of what would happen thereafter. That was not a lie, but certainly the truth.
Louis Arneb, would never do something like returning what she had stolen away from others back to the original.
That is why, she truly held no idea what would happen to Natsuki Subaru as a consequence of having the memories returned.
Louis: “Onii-san, you got this life by being born and everything, it won’t do if you don’t celebrate it.”
That irresponsible usurper, continued to gaze intently at Subaru’s face which was right next to her.
Louis: “As a result of us eating the memories of『Natsuki Subaru』, onii-san is here. In other words we, are something like onii-san’s birth parent, isn’t that right. To try and choose the option of having yourself die in front of that parent, isn’t that what’s called lack of filial piety, onii-san.”
Subaru: “Something so, absurd is…… ~hk.”
Louis: “ーーMemories are what shape people, onii-san.”
“ーーーー”
Becoming deeper, becoming colder, Louis erased all expression and said only those brief words with a serious tone.
Without thinking, Subaru inhaled at the acuity of those words, and quietened.
Alongside, he also felt that this had not been the first time he heard those words. If not mistaken, then that resonance, those words, immediately before facing the second『Death』as well had beenーー,
Louis: “The present onii-san, has relationships which the present onii-san has created. Why don’t you try living again anew, facing forward. We think that’s also an option, you know.”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “On top of that, don’t know how we should feel saying this but……『Natsuki Subaru』, didn’t really feel like the image of an ideal man you know?”
Closing one of her eyes, Louis smited the emotions of Subaru’s heart with an expression as if finding what she was going to say to be difficult.
All the more, she linked her arms in front of her chest while remaining in a position of Subaru riding a horseback atop her, and gazed at his dark pupils with eyes like that of a dreaming maidenーー,
Louis: “Pitiable Emilia! A miserable girl who is avoided by everyone, just because of having her birth being the same as the former Witch! Ah, how kind must be my self, to still remain by her side!”
Subaru: “Wha……”
Louis: “Weak, fragile Beatrice! Without anyone to rely on, a lonely girl who spent a time of solitude all by herself! My self must pull her hand through the dark and dangerous path!”
In front of the astonished Subaru, what Louis sonorously continued saying were the names of two young girls who prayed for Subaru’s safety and showed him out, and terribly elliptical mental images of them.
Even? Subaru understood whose mental images they were, and what Louis intended to express.
Though he understood, that was.
Louis: “Devoted and tries to dedicate gratuitous love, Rem! Foolish and beautiful, how pure. Surely she is an incomplete existence who gains the real feeling of living by becoming frantic for the sake of someone else, other than herself. Precisely that, must be led by the existence known as I!”
Subaru: “What’re you…… what’re you trying to do!?”
Louis: “Speaking for what『Natsuki Subaru』used to think, we’re telling you. Wanting a sense of superiority. Not thinking it was for the sake of someone else all of the time, you know. Flocking only convenient people around, getting drunk on the pleasant feeling of offering a hand. Not even throwing any feed to a dog which won’t get emotionally attached. Keeping those away.”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “Do you really intend to hand yourself over, to that『Natsuki Subaru』?”
The question, having overlapped twice.
That was a requisition of confession for Natsuki Subaru, by Louis, by『Gluttony』.
Speaking his true feelings, that is what Louis demanded of Subaru.
Whether he did want to die, whether he did not want to die, if he, for the argument’s sake were to die, whether would it be for the sake of someone like that.
ーーNo, Subaru’s death, would not be for the sake of『Natsuki Subaru』.
ーーNo, from the very beginning, Subaru did not have the intent to die. Even if he thought of returning『Natsuki Subaru』back to Emilia and the others, for it to mean his own death.
ーーNo, could he however, truly trust『Natsuki Subaru』. At the very least,『Natsuki Subaru』had killed Meili, and even carved incomprehensible characters on the wall.
Louis: “ーーWe~ll, what do you want to do, onii-san.”
Subaru: “ーー~hk.”
Whilst saying so, Louis grasped Subaru’s hands with her slender arms, and fastened them to her own neck.
Once again, though this time through her own incitement, Louis’ slim neck lay vulnerable to Subaru’s arms. Should he pour strength in both of his arms, it will surely fracture easily.
If not, the conclusion will get established.
However, to not do that meant either choosing to kill『Natsuki Subaru』, or the same happening to himself. ーーAt the very least, that was what Louis was saying.
For the argument’s sake, for just the argument’s sake if he broke this slim neck, and if『Natsuki Subaru』was to return and the present Subaru was to disappear, would not be able to witness even the result of his actions.
If that’s the case, then what was the meaning of Subaru mustering up meagre courage and undertaking action here.
Louis: “We~ll.”
“ーーーー”
Louis: “What? What will you do? What is it that you’ll do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do huh? What do you want to do? What do you want to do it like? Whatever you do it’ll alright you know? Whatever it ends up as we’ll forgive youーー”
As if tormenting, as if ridiculing, as if cursing, Louis’ words struck Subaru’s eardrums.
So did Louis Arneb, so did『Gluttony』, so did the Sin Archbishop, so did the slim young girl, so did the abominable existence, so did his birth parent.
The choice of what he shall do with『Natsuki Subaru』, drew near Natsuki Subaru.
Louis: “We~ll.”
Well.
Louis: “ーーWhat do you want to do? Onii-san.”