BXBX NOVEL Arc 7, Chapter 53 - “What Lies Beyond the Eleventh Second”
Arc 7, Chapter 53 - “What Lies Beyond the Eleventh Second”
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
He heard voices he’d heard many times before.
The hoarse voice of an old man, and an anger-filled voice of a woman. And then――,
Yorna: [HaAAAaaa!!]
There was an impact, that of the roof tiles being stepped on by a foot with force, and the kiseru and purple smoke were swung furiously. Chaosflame’s sky was scythed by a sideward swipe, scythed, scythed――,
――Once more, a series of explosions echoed, and that red, intense pain arrived.
Subaru: [Geh, GAHHHH――!!]
Louis: [Uau! Uaau!]
The pain and shock of having an eyeball bursting and the other popping out made him collapse on the spot clutching his face. A light body jumped on him; he’d already known this would happen.
But although he knew it, he was not able to deal with it. There just wasn’t enough time.
Subaru: [Guhhhh! Agh, guh, UGHHHHH!]
A bright-red field of vision, a pain like that of his head being smashed, his soul crying out, “Why?”.
All of these caused Subaru to waste the ten seconds of despair that came time and time again.
The pain prevented him from thinking, the loss that made the world turn red prevented him from seeing his environs. Even if it would swiftly fade away, three seconds were all it took for him to freshly savor the same pain all over again.
Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. ――It was repeated endlessly.
He was going mad.
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard. The pain and the redness ceased for only a moment.
But once more, he was so scared that his soul was torn to shreds, as he was going to taste the same pain.
Subaru: [AAAaaah――!!]
He didn’t want to hear anything. He didn’t want to feel pain. It was, scaryscaryscaryscary.
He opened his mouth wide and screamed; screaming to the point of rupturing his throat. Because he didn’t want to see anything, he closed his eyes and crouched down, his head in his hands.
And at the very next moment.
Subaru: [――――]
Boom, the sound of an explosion resounded, and Subaru’s small body was repelled, rolling away. The sound became distant, and his soul cowered in terror as the pain and the red once again arrived.
However――,
Subaru: [――Huh.]
That pain never arrived.
The pain of one of his eyeballs bursting and the other being popped out did not arrive. Although his hearing had been destroyed, the world had not reddened. What hurt him the most was his throat due to his loud scream.
Subaru: [Why…]
Louis: [Uau!]
Shortly after his stunned voice leaked out, a small body jumped at him.
It was Louis. She pulled on his arm, trying to get Subaru to stand up. But he could not, his knees had no strength, and he had not yet gotten an answer to his “why”.
His throat just tightened up and tears welled up in his eyes, happy to be away from that red pain, even for a moment. Unable to bear it any longer, he crouched and cried.
Yorna: [Chil――]
Olbart: [Oioi, isn’t that a bad idea?]
Yorna: [――Hk.]
Far away from the crouching and crying Subaru, a battle of a whole other dimension continued. ――No, the scales had tipped grandly; within his blurry vision, he could see that the woman had fallen to her knees.
Yorna, her knees bent, and Olbart, standing to her back.
Olbart waved his blood-red right hand, raising his eyebrows in surprise as he gazed down at Yorna, bleeding from the corner of her mouth.
Yorna: [Guhk…]
Olbart: [Kakh, ya can’t be serious, foxgirl. What kinda body ya got that won’t die from that? So that’s what Cecilus was talkin’ ‘bout when he said he couldn’t lop off yer head?]
Yorna: […There’s no way I’m going to reveal my womanly secrets to a lousy man who lays his hands on children.]
Striking her molars, Yorna replied to Olbart in a voice devoid of any loss in intensity. Upon hearing that, Olbart let out his usual loud laugh.
After that, he waved his blood-soaked sleeve,
Olbart: [Ya say some funny things. I’ll show ya what it really means ta lay yer hands on a child.]
Yorna: [Wait――!]
A black ball pulled out from his sleeve―― a bomb was thrown and flew towards Subaru and Louis.
Louis quickly stepped in front of Subaru and tried to repel it, but it was too late.
The red light exploded in front of Subaru’s eyes yet again, and Louis’s whole body, having rushed in front of him, along with Subaru’s own, were both engulfed in light and once more torn apart――.
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
△▼△▼△▼△
――The moment the red and the pain disappeared, he closed his eyes and raised a loud shout.
Having repeatedly experienced the red pain many and many times over, and having only managed to escape it a few times, this was the absolute rule Subaru had obtained.
No matter what, once the red and the pain arrived at the same time, there would be nothing Subaru could do about it. He could only cry, scream, and then, die.
And just when he’d think he was dead, once more he would hear those voices and suffer the red pain from the explosion.
Don’t wanna do it anymore. Don’t wanna. Because I don’t wanna, because I’m begging, I’m scared.
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
At that moment, the pain and the redness receded entirely, and the momentary relief seemed to drain all the strength from his body. Enduring it, he did what he had to do.
Subaru: [AAAaaah――!]
Squeezing his eyes shut, he opened his mouth wide and howled.
Although he could not hear because of his own shouting, Yorna was probably brandishing her kiseru with a wide swing, attempting to detonate the bomb thrown by Olbart.
So, soon afterwards――,
Subaru: [――Hk.]
Subaru’s whole body was pushed by the roar and blast wave of the explosion, landing on his butt atop the roof. The corner of the roof tile bit into his butt, the pain so sharp that he felt like he was about to cry.
But he did not cry. No, he did not want to cry and make his vision go blurry. Because――,
Subaru: [I can see…]
Fearfully opening his eyes, he could see just fine; they had not burst nor popped out.
As usual, his ears were not working, just ringing, and his throat was burning, but he did not experience that red pain. It was alright. It was good.
If he closed his eyes and shouted out loud, he would not have to suffer that red pain.
Louis: [Uau!]
Louis rushed over to Subaru, she seemed to be on the verge of crying from emotion. While he could finally see Louis’s face, her blue eyes were wide open as though worried about Subaru.
Without thinking, he hugged Louis’s body back and shouted, “I’m fine!”.
Louis: [Uu.]
Subaru: [I’m fine! It hurt, and it was red… Yeah, but, now, I’m fine…]
Anyhow, once the pain and the red disappeared, he would close his eyes and shout.
As long as he remembered that rule, he would never have to suffer. As Subaru hugged Louis’s thin body, he felt certain of this.
Olbart: [Nah, you’re not fine at all ya know, look. O’er here, o’er here.]
Immediately afterward, Subaru heard a horrifying voice and reflexively looked up.
As Subaru’s eyes widened, Olbart, wearing a smile of satisfaction, cast shurikens that drew irregular trajectories, flying towards Subaru and Louis.
The shinobi’s dark-colored dull weapons, glinting with a shing, were all aimed precisely at vital points.
Subaru: [Hii.]
Yorna: [I won’t tolerate this sort of debauchery.]
Subaru’s throat tightened, and to his front appeared Yorna’s back. She intercepted the trajectory of the oncoming shurikens with her kiseru, striking them down in their flying path altogether.
Simultaneously, the roof tiles on either side of Olbart rose, and then slammed into the monstrous old man with the force of a mousetrap or a flyswatter.
However――,
Olbart: [Kakakakka! What a flashy show, isn’t that an amusin’ technique!]
Olbart twisted his minute body to dodge the blow of the roof tiles.
Subaru used to believe that the bigger someone who labored in waging battle was, the stronger they would be and the wider the range of their attacks. However, Olbart’s agility and quick wittedness defied that impression.
Olbart: [Well, I don’t need this flashy stuff. Ultimately, a human bein’ can be killed by a sharp needle ta the forehead.]
Yorna: [Your words make my fox ears itch. ――So, how about this instead?]
Olbart: [Oh.]
Olbart avoided the showy attack, but right after, Yorna struck the roof with her heel. Then, one-by-one, the roof tiles rose and began to float, revolving around in midair.
Drawing an extremely large spiral across the entirety of the roof, the circumference of the whirlpool narrowed towards Olbart at the center. ――Just like a tornado.
And then――,
Yorna: [Why don’t you show me some of your shinobi techniques on how to escape from a place without an opening?]
Before she finished speaking, Yorna’s outstretched hand squeezed tight.
Immediately after, the whirling tornado of tiles engulfed Olbart and compressed him into the center in one fell swoop. The tiles collided with each other relentlessly, and the sound of a fierce, all-crushing impact rang out.
Even a somewhat robust human body would not be able to withstand the pressure at the nexus of this fierce destruction. It would be crushed, with no chance of survival.
Louis: [Au…]
Witnessing the same thing, Louis too gasped at its exuberant destructive power.
In response to Louis’s reaction, Yorna quietly replied, “I’m sorry to have frightened you”,
Yorna: [I started all this on a whim of mine. I feel terrible about the way you look…]
Olbart: [Oioi, don’t’cha go thinkin’ we’re done here. I’m tellin’ ya, the fact that I’m still alive even tho’ I’m a geezer means it’ll take a lot ta kill me, ya know?]
Yorna: [――Hk.]
Just as Yorna was about to turn around, she heard that comment and her fox ears perked up. Taking a look towards it, the voice she’d heard had come from a whirlpool of roof tiles that had gathered at their center, crushing it―― No, it had come from behind it.
Accompanied by a rattle, the voice that came from among the debris of the broken roof tiles was that of Olbart, unharmed despite the fact he’d been at the core of the vortex of devastation.
The monstrous old man waved his hand, smiling with a malicious look on his face,
Olbart: [Yo. And that’s the shinobi’s technique of escapin’ when there’s no openin’. Ya satisfied?]
Yorna: [――. Old or decrepit, you are still a Nine Divine General, it seems.]
Olbart: [Kakakakka! That’s a terrible thing to say! First of all, I’ve been an ol’ man ever since I was chosen ta be one of the Nine Divine Generals, ya know? Even tho’ I’m old and decrepit, I’m still much stronger than most, and that’s why I was chosen. You however, lass, really need ta set yerself straight.]
Yorna: [Why’s that?]
Olbart tucked his waving hand into his sleeves and cocked his head, causing Yorna to frown.
In response to Yorna’s question, Olbart continued, “Ya see”,
Olbart: [If ya didn’t have so many people ta protect, like the people of this city and the kids behind’cha, you’d be able ta handle me better.]
Yorna: [――Hk.]
Olbart: [You’re fightin’ ‘cause ya wanna protect others, but you’ve become weaker ‘cause of it. Yer priorities are all wack. That’s why ya can’t reach His Excellency, no matter how many times ya try, lass.]
Olbart’s yellow eyes seemed to pierce through Yorna to Subaru and Louis as he spoke.
In that moment, Subaru realized that they would once again be targeted. Perceiving this, he squeezed Louis’s hand right away,
Subaru: [Yorna-san, Louis and I will be going away! Do your best!]
He felt terrible that he’d gotten Yorna into this situation, only to then run away.
But if Subaru and Louis were present, Yorna would have to fight to protect them as well as herself. Olbart would take advantage of the opportunity and, sure enough, she would be killed.
That’d be no good. He had to avoid that from happening. Somehow.
Subaru: [Louis!]
Shouting this, Subaru squeezed Louis’s hand tight while pointing down towards his feet.
Making the connection between his touch and his instructions, Louis responded with her usual sound and a teleport happened.
Subaru and Louis’s bodies teleported directly below where they were, to the interior of the Castle, and they found their feet on a wooden floor.
Confirming this, Subaru clenched his teeth.
Subaru: [Uh…]
There was a feeling like that of the contents of his stomach churning inside him, and his head swayed. For a moment, his red vision and his pain flickered, but the level to which them hindered him was incomparable to before.
Now that Subaru and Louis were gone, Yorna would be able to fight to her fullest――.
Subaru: [――Hk, what!?]
Immediately afterward, there was the sound of an explosion occurring overhead, which triggered Subaru’s recent trauma.
A chain of tremendous roars from explosions followed, their shock reverberating through the roof and throughout the whole Castle, reaching Subaru and Louis. His knees came near to buckling involuntarily; desperately enduring that, Subaru looked up at the ceiling.
Although he couldn’t see it, it was most likely Olbart.
After all the bombs he had used, he was still carrying around even more.
???: [――Ah. Whoawhoa.]
Subaru: [Huh?]
In Subaru field of vision as he raised his eyes, a wrinkled face slipped through the ceiling and peeked down below.
Subaru’s breath hitched at the suddenness of it all, and then Olbart fell straight down, his face as well as his entire body slipping through the ceiling.
The old man was smiling meaningfully as he dropped from the ceiling,
Olbart: [Ya gave me the willies back there. I took ya as just a kid, I messed up, I messed up.]
Louis: [Uu!]
A moment later, Louis kicked out a thin leg at the approaching smiling face. But the monstrous old man responded with a short “Yo” and swung his arm, sending everything below her shin flying.
Spinning around, Louis’s white foot flew, spraying blood, and causing her to scream.
Louis: [Ah, UUUU――!]
Then, wide-eyed at the sight of Louis screaming, Subaru tried to pull her closer to him, hoping that perhaps he could help her.
Whether it was for the sake of escaping or out of concern for the girl who was crying out in pain over the loss of her foot, he did not know.
But either way, he couldn’t even manage to perform that fast action right.
Subaru: [Gaguh.]
Just as he thought he heard a whoosh, Subaru’s throat burned with more heat than when he’d screamed. The blood gushing out of his neck clogged his throat, rendering him unable to speak or breathe.
Olbart: [Can’t let’cha get away from me, it’d be too much trouble. I’m sure yer head’s enough ta get through ta that foxgirl.]
Having said that, Olbart’s finger then pushed on Subaru’s forehead. Once he did, his tilted head fell forward and Subaru’s head landed on his own crumpled knees.
His head was still attached by a small flap of skin from his neck; his now-dangling head touched his lap.
Olbart: [Just like an idakikubi.] [1]
Unable to laugh, a terrible joke was heard, then he became unable to hear anything.
And then――,
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
He knew what had to be done right away, and pulled Louis in close, so.
So, while he thought about it, the roar of an explosion echoed.
――His vision exploded into bright-red, and, once more, the pain engulfed Natsuki Subaru.
△▼△▼△▼△
――The moment he heard the same voices, he covered his ears, closed his eyes, and yelled out loud.
That, was the principle of survival that Subaru had come to discover after repeating those ten seconds of despair tens of times.
However, he had yet to find any solutions to this puzzle beyond that.
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Olbart threw a bomb, and Yorna swung her kiseru to deflect it. A heavy impact, felt by his feet, made Subaru remember that he had returned and what he had to do, following his ingrained instincts.
He covered his ears, closed his eyes, screamed loudly, and then took the blow of the explosion.
He kept his ears plugged for the sake of his eardrums, he kept his eyes closed for the sake of his eyeballs; he did not know what the point of shouting loudly would be, but he always shouted when he was not in pain or when everything was red, so he could not imagine not shouting anymore.
He could not bear the thought of doing something a little different and experiencing the same pain again.
Once his timing was off, he would have to repeat the ten seconds of despair ten times or more, in order to get the same chance again.
He was done with it all. The pain, the fear, he was done with them both.
It did not get any easier at all. It always hurt. He was always scared. Beyond the pain, beyond the fear, death was always there.
So――,
Louis: [Uau!]
With his ears and eyes fine and dandy, he caught Louis’s body as she jumped on him.
He had managed to survive the first explosion intact again for the umpteenth time. The rest was a cycle of events, recalling what would happen next, so up first was――,
Subaru: [Shurikens.]
Olbart: [Don’t think it’s over just yet!]
Simultaneously with hearing Olbart’s voice, he remembered.
The next moment, a storm of shurikens, not a single one possessing the same trajectory, came flying from all directions, raining down around Subaru and Louis.
If one were to be hit by any single one of the more than ten shurikens, they would become unable to move.
To stop them, Yorna tried to rush out――,
Yorna: [I won’t tolerate this sort――]
Subaru: [Yorna-san! It’s fine!]
Stopping Yorna from dashing in with his palm, Subaru then pointed somewhere with his outstretched hand. Then, he squeezed the hand that was tied to Louis’s with all his might,
Olbart: [――The hell’s that!?]
A moment later, their field of vision was switched by the teleport that had occurred, and a shuriken stuck into the place where Subaru and Louis had been.
Olbart’s eyes widened in surprise at what had happened and the lack of any warning signs of Louis’s teleport. Indeed, Olbart did not know of it, Subaru and Louis had been keeping it a secret.
Subaru had escaped into the Castle using it. But as he had been killed by Olbart, who had chased him down――,
Subaru: [Even if it’s just once…]
Olbart could be caught off-guard.
And then, much to Olbart’s surprise,
Yorna: [You’re not allowed to look anywhere else――!]
Olbart: [Tch―― guah.]
The soaring Yorna’s fierce axe kick was driven into Olbart from directly above.
His immediate reaction was delayed, and the leg he raised to intercept the attack failed to reach it in time, causing Olbart’s entire body to take the impact and fold in half. With that, the back of his head crashed into the roof, and with a resounding crash, Olbart’s figure disappeared into the Crimson Lapis Castle.
Even Olbart should have sustained damage due to that powerful blow――,
Olbart: [Kakakakka! Ouchie, ouchie!]
Subaru: [No way!?]
Just after Subaru shouted in joy that she had scored a critical hit, Olbart returned.
Opening a hole in the roof different from the one he had been knocked into, Olbart jumped out, teeth bared and his right arm stained vermillion with blood.
He had taken Yorna’s heel with his arm, hence, it had been crushed out of shape like a dead branch.
Olbart was unfazed by the terrible condition of his arm, which made Subaru want to avert his gaze immediately. With his remaining left arm, he threw shurikens, simultaneously aiming at Subaru and Yorna in front of and behind him.
Of course, Subaru was unable to react. So Yorna flicked smoke at the attack approaching her own self with her kiseru and immediately wagged her finger, causing the tiles to rise, as to protect Subaru and Louis.
And then――,
Olbart: [Here, it’s ninety years old.]
As he said this, Olbart suddenly resorted to violence.
He stretched out his bloodied right arm and cut it off below the elbow with the kunai in his left hand, sending the arm flying towards Yorna, spraying blood.
Yorna: [――――]
Faced with this, Yorna was forced to make a split-second decision.
In other words, she could either parry the flying arm or dodge it.
However――,
Olbart: [Too bad, either choice’s off.]
Yorna: [Guhh…!?]
Before she could act on her choice out of the options for the flying arm, a blast occurred beneath Yorna’s feet. There, was the hole that led to the floor below, into which the previous blow had knocked Olbart through.
From there a tremendous torrent of wind literally spouted, tearing through Yorna’s kimono.
Olbart: [It’s a basic principle of the shinobi. If ya gotta pick between right and left, then ya gotta pick up.]
Yorna: [You, cheeky old man…!]
Yorna’s cheeks scrunched up as her kimono was ripped open by the blades of wind that engulfed her entire body. With things as they were, she stepped in, ignoring the bluff of the flying arm, and tried to rush towards Olbart.
As Yorna advanced towards him, Olbart took a breath and spoke, “Ah yeah”,
Olbart: [When I said both options were off, I lied.]
――In the next instant, Olbart’s flying arm swelled from the inside and exploded.
Yorna: [――Hk.]
Subaru: [Yorna-san!!]
Yorna’s body was blown away by the explosion that occurred right beside her. With that, Subaru widened his eyes, and raised a yell from his hoarse throat, as her figure tumbled and rolled atop the roof.
The hole he had fallen into, the arm he had severed, all of those were traps to be used.
Ever since Subaru was first acquainted to the idea of shinobi as ninjas, he’d thought that they would be extremely troublesome opponents. But it had never occurred to him that they would be so “vicious”.
Almost in sync with Olbart turning around, Subaru shuddered.
Subaru: [――Louis!]
Olbart turned around, and the moment he saw the ferociousness in his eyes, Subaru shouted.
Grasping Louis’s hand tightly, he hoped that the timing on the second teleport would be such that there would be no interruption. He’d just point as far away from Olbart as possible to get some distance from him――,
Louis: [Auau.]
Louis’s teleport occurred, and both their bodies moved in the blink of an eye.
Moving out of Olbart’s line of sight, they’d move somewhere, a large distance away from Olbart. Since taking refuge within the Castle would not allow them to survive, there was nothing Subaru could do after escaping the initial explosion except to keep his distance, buy some time, and hope that Yorna would stop Olbart.
And――,
Subaru: [Eh?]
As Subaru tried to hold back his nausea, something hit him at the tip of his foot.
His eyes shot wide open upon seeing what had hit him. It was a small, round, black ball.
A black ball that he had seen so many times, throwing him into the depths of despair.
Olbart: [I’ve been watchin’ ya for a while. You’ll fly in the direction ya point. I still got no idea how ya do that.]
That’s why I threw the ball in the direction ya were pointin’ at, and with that, Olbart shrugged his shoulders.
That gesture from the monstrous old man was poorly balanced, given he was missing one arm.
Louis: [Uau.]
Once again, Louis called out to Subaru.
Immediately afterward, light overflowed from the black ball that exploded beneath their feet, scattering countless shards of glass-like things within, shredding, shredding, and shredding Subaru and Louis to tatters.
Blood splattered bright-red, and shards flew into Subaru’s eyes and mouth, mutilating his entire body as the sharp pain engulfed him, dicing his limbs into bits.
Olbart: [Ya gotta eat it ta find out what’s stuck in it. Isn’t that interestin’?]
The pain, once more, was red, making him question his sanity.
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
Subaru: [――Hk.]
The moment he heard it, Subaru plugged his ears, closed his eyes, and opened his mouth wide. No loud shout came out. Merely a raspy voice. Even so, the roar of the explosion, and the accompanying wind, rushed towards him.
Striking his whole body, he was knocked down on his butt onto the roof. He couldn’t follow his rules. He couldn’t scream. Afraid of the pain and the red that would come. He just――,
Louis: [Uau.]
A light touch made him jump, causing Subaru to let out an exhale.
And so, he checked to make sure that his eyes and ears and the rest of his body were fine. His eyeballs and eardrums were fine, despite the fact that he had not made a loud voice. His voice had nothing to do with it. Maybe his mouth was the cause.
I don’t know. I don’t know, but――,
Subaru: [Guuhhh…]
Hugging Louis, Subaru sobbed through clenched teeth, unable for the life of him to find a way to survive the explosion.
And because he was incapable of finding a way, he sobbed, he cowered, he was unable to move once more.
Olbart: [Wahwah, I can’t stand hearin’ the sound of children cryin’. ――Shuddup.]
Yet again, inevitable “death” engulfed Natsuki Subaru.
△▼△▼△▼△
Again and again, he repeated cycles of red and pain, and at their end, experiencing a sense of helplessness, of pain and harshness and suffering and fear once more; he still could not reach it, even with this accretion.
Yorna: [――Love me. Right now.]
In his mangled state, how many times had he almost gotten help in this way?
Every time he was not able to act as he was being told, he felt sad.
Louis: [Uau! Uaau!]
Desperately pulling Subaru’s arm, Louis endeavored to somehow keep him alive, to keep him from dying.
That was why it was so painful every time they died before Subaru did.
Time and time and time and time again, ten seconds of death and despair.
In the red world, the only feeling that dominated was pain; a feeling of helplessness that, irregardless of how hard he tried, he could not reach the end, no matter how many times, he repeated it with no end in sight.
His mind, felt like it was about to break. His heart, felt like it was about to die.
This, was not Return by Death.
The thing surrounding Natsuki Subaru, was something apart from Return by Death.
He did not wish to believe that Return by Death was a mercy, not in the slightest.
But compared to these ten seconds and the endless accretion of loss, it was very much so.
――This was a loveless act, so much so that it seemed like there was love in Return by Death.
△▼△▼△▼△
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
Olbart’s aloof voice and Yorna’s strained voice.
The immediate pain and loss vanished, and Subaru returned for a brief moment, for just a few seconds, to a sky of blue and a body free of pain.
Brain numbing, throat raising a continuation of the scream before death, knees buckling.
Nevertheless, the conditioned reflexes already imprinted in his soul made Subaru shut his eyes, cover his ears, and leave his mouth open as he continued to scream.
Yorna: [HaAAAaaa!!]
Yorna, howling, swung her kiseru, and several bursts of flame were born in the skies above Chaosflame.
The hot air, shock waves, and the sound of the explosion washed over Subaru and Louis, but at this moment, no matter how many times he tried, he could not resist falling on his butt.
Louis: [Uau!]
Subaru fell on his butt, and Louis’s light body jumped onto him.
Accepting it, he hugged it tightly. That too, was already a conditioned reflex. Because he had died god-knows how many times, he absolutely missed the warmth of people. That was all it was.
He had no other reason. He did not, and so, he clenched his molars together.
Subaru: [After this…]
There would be no time for relief, for the next attack that would kill Subaru would come rushing in.
Olbart: [Don’t think it’s over just yet!]
Alongside his words, Olbart hurled shurikens at Subaru and Louis. That the blades coming from all directions were more than ten, and that their sharpness could easily slice through a child’s soft skin, he already knew.
He had already experienced being killed by shurikens many times. But to which pain they corresponded, he could not recall. There had not been a single painless death, so he did not know.
Yorna: [I won’t tolerate this sort of debauchery.]
During his confusion, Yorna cut in with her back turned to Subaru.
She swatted away the entirety of the shurikens with the kiseru in her hand, and then, as retaliation against Olbart, she made the roof tiles undulate and hit him with the castle from both sides, pinning him down.
Olbart: [Kakakakka! What a flashy show, isn’t that an amusin’ technique!]
Olbart used his agility to sidestep the attack.
Due to Subaru’s belated reaction, the situation was following the same pattern. But there was nothing Subaru could do in this situation, a situation he had already witnessed countless times.
When Yorna was about to be attacked and he tried to protect her, when he succeeded in escaping into the Castle, when he rushed at Olbart because his head was messed up, he had died all the same.
What if all paths, all actions, led to death?
Olbart: [Well, I don’t need this flashy stuff. Ultimately, a human bein’ can be killed by a sharp needle ta the forehead.]
Yorna: [Your words make my fox ears itch. ――So, how about this instead?]
Olbart: [Oh.]
Yorna responded to the provocation of the nasty Olbart, by striking the roof with her heel.
One-by-one, the roof tiles arose, and what emerged was a tornado of destruction swirling around the entire Castle. He knew it was awfully powerful, as well. But it could not defeat Olbart.
Subaru: [What should…?]
I do? He could not understand. He had a presentment that painful, scary things would arrive soon, once more.
Failure. How could it be avoided? The red world, the choir of pain.
Even if he wanted to help Yorna, he would be a burden to her.
Even if Subaru attempted to run away with Louis, they would be caught.
If only he had returned to an earlier point in time, he would never have gone to the roof with Yorna in the first place. If only he had left Yorna alone, if only he had not parted with Abel and the others, if only he hadn’t told them about Louis, Al, Medium, Taritta, if only he weren’t smaller, if only it were the original Subaru, Zikr, Flop, Mizelda, Kuna, Holly, Utakata, Priscilla, Rem, Rem, Rem, Rem, Rem――.
Rem, he must bring her home, and yet here he was, dying.
If Subaru were left behind in a world where death was inevitable, what could he do but continue to die forever and ever, what could Natsuki Subaru even do?
Over and over again, death, pain, and a sense of helplessness overwhelmed Natsuki Subaru.
It felt like it was going to crush his heart and body, and then――,
Louis: [Uau.]
Gently, the warmth of the young girl holding his hand was transmitted, and Subaru gulped.
The warmth, suddenly, made Subaru realize.
That, for Natsuki Subaru, it was impossible, but.
Subaru: [――If everyone else were here, what would they do?]
△▼△▼△▼△
Pain, red, scary, why, death.
Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death.
Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death. Pain, red, scary, why, death.
Ten seconds of despair, replayed time upon time upon time.
A never-ending hell of pain and helplessness accreted on top of one another, endeavoring to break Subaru’s mind again and again.
But after so many repetitions of those ten seconds of despair, he arrived at what laid beyond.
Pain, red, scary, why, death. ――Beyond that.
Instead, after those ten seconds of despair many more possibilities branched out, but there still was no answer to the question of what was the how through which he could escape the pain.
Once more, Subaru died over and over again. Many times, in repeated pain and suffering, he died.
Not one of them worked.
Subaru would always make Yorna sad, let Louis die first, then die as well.
――But there was a time that laid beyond the ten seconds of despair.
He would utilize all of that time.
And even if he used all of it, and ended up dying, he would once again reach beyond the ten seconds of despair, over to the eleventh second, and think for dear life.
――If everyone else were here, what would they do?
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
At that moment, Subaru covered his ears, closed his eyes, and opened his mouth to endure the explosion. The roar and the impact of the explosion assaulted his whole body; unable to resist it, he fell on his bottom.
Immediately, a small body jumped at him, shouting, “Uau!”. Catching it, he hugged them back as if to reassure them, and while doing so, he contemplated.
――If everyone else were here, what would they do?
Subaru: [――――]
Subaru had become smaller.
His arms and legs had grown shorter, and the contents of his head had most likely become those of a child as well.
If he were the original Subaru, he could have done many things and come up with many more ideas. But the original Subaru was not here. So, he could not come up with a way to fix this.
As such, then this problem could not be solved by Natsuki Subaru as he was currently.
That was why――,
Subaru: [If everyone else were here…]
Up until now, they had encountered many problems and made many mistakes, but, together, they had overcome them in their entirety, and made it this far.
Now, Subaru was completely alone. He was in the Empire, where he knew almost no one.
However, there was something within Subaru, that he had received from everyone.
Subaru: [If everyone else were here…]
What would they do?
Otto, Garfiel, Roswaal, Frederica, Petra, Clind, Annerose, Meili, Puck, Ram, Beatrice, Emilia, what would they do?
Subaru: [If everyone else were here…]
What would they do?
Julius, Anastasia, Eridna, Ricardo, Mimi, Hetaro, Tivey, Reinhardt, Felt, Rom-jii, Tonchinkan, Al, Priscilla, Wilhelm, Felix, Crusch, Liliana, Shaula, what would they do?
Subaru: [All of them are so strong.]
He wanted everyone who could fight Olbart to cheer him on from behind.
It was not the turn of those people who seemed able to handle Olbart’s cunning and his absurd little tricks as well. I’m sorry. Thank you. I love you all.
Subaru: [They can use magic.]
The current Subaru could not possibly imitate everyone capable of helping Yorna.
He wanted to do something, to not become a burden to Yorna, a kind person. But, at this juncture, it was not healing magic’s turn. I’m sorry. Thank you. I love you all.
Subaru: [If so…]
What about imitating everyone who never gave up and was able to do their utmost till the bitter end?
Why not imitate everyone who was able to use everything in their possession to try and go beyond these ten seconds of despair, go beyond the eleventh second, and go even further beyond?
Yorna: [I won’t tolerate this sort of debauchery.]
A kiseru was waved, and the shurikens closing in on Subaru and Louis had been flicked away with a shrill rapport.
As that happened, the tiles on either side of Olbart rose and pinned the monstrous old man down in an attempt to crush him.
Subaru: [――――]
As he watched the fight between Yorna and Olbart, he thought for dear life.
Hadn’t he died many times already, over and over again? Hadn’t he witnessed this scene many times already? Even if it had become hard to remember, he could remember the pain, couldn’t he?
Just the thought of it froze his body in horror. His heart shriveled, his soul became frightened.
It was as if the very existence of Natsuki Subaru was freezing over. But――,
Louis: [Uau.]
The heat transmitted from the hand that held Subaru’s own would not let him freeze to death.
And because he would not freeze to death, he would be able to remember everyone.
There was no way to interrupt Yorna and Olbart’s fight.
Even if he wanted Yorna to win, Subaru and Louis, being Olbart’s targets, would get in the way. The battle had already started, and this affair would not develop further without one of them being victorious.
Perhaps, it always ended with Olbart winning, and Subaru and the others dying.
So, would it be enough that Subaru and Louis just survive?
Emilia: [That’s probably reaaally wrong, too. I mean, Yorna has to be kept safe, too.]
Otto: [There must be a better way.]
Garfiel: [Don’t’cha stop thinkin’.]
Ram: [Truly a fool.]
Roswaal: [Giving up here would be a joooke~.]
Frederica: [Assuredly, everything will be fine.]
Petra: [Everybody’s here for you.]
Meili: [You wouldn’t want to be in pain, would yooou?]
Clind: [All battles must be settled. Inevitable.]
Annerose: [There has to be an opening.]
Beatrice: [We’re going to find that opening, I suppose. That’s, the key to victory, in fact.]
Subaru: [The key, to victory.]
For whom? Of course, for the one fighting.
Then, which one of them was fighting, Yorna or Olbart――.
Subaru: [No.]
Louis: [Uu?]
Subaru: [Nononono, NO――!]
In front of Louis, twisting her neck around, Subaru shouted in a loud voice.
No, I was wrong. I love all of you. So that’s why――,
Subaru: [The one who wins――]
Once again, the red light and pain spread before his eyes, and then――.
Olbart: [I’ve heard it said that’cha and the folks of this city are awfully tough, but… Are ya tougher than the folks of my village were?]
Yorna: [――You lowlife!]
Once more, the same voices could be heard.
The moment he heard them, Subaru covered his ears, closed his eyes, and crouched down with his mouth open. Immediately afterward, the sound of an explosion and a shock wave smashed against his whole body, but this time he did not fall on his bottom.
In an instant movement, he removed his hands from his face and raised his head. And from there――,
Louis: [Uau.]
With concern for Subaru, Louis jumped at him with a worried look on her face.
Catching Louis in front of him in his arms, Subaru took action right there. And,
Subaru: [Thanks.]
Louis: [Uh?]
As he looked towards his front, the words Subaru had spoken went over the surprised Louis’s head completely.
The pain of his whole body being burned, of his bones being exposed, of his internal organs being mangled, was lingering still. He felt like he was going to scream, cry, and roll around if were he to not control himself.
However――,
Olbart: [Don’t think it’s over――!]
As he said this, Olbart was just about to throw the shurikens he’d pulled out of his sleeves.
Olbart’s eyes met those of Subaru head-on.
The eyes of the Vicious Old Man, someone devoid of mercy even in reaping the life of children. And the teary eyes of a child who had experienced despair many times, still struggling to hold back the tears.
As if he had seen something in those eyes, Olbart turned to him, the glint within his yellow eyes becoming even more intense.
He was not just aiming for Subaru as a tool to get Yorna’s attention.
To murder Natsuki Subaru, the Vicious Old Man unleashed shurikens from his hands.
Shurikens with no trick to them flew.
Subaru’s eyes couldn’t perceive the threat, but he could feel them closing in on him; and so he thrust his lifted finger straight towards his front―― to Olbart.
If everyone else were here, what would they do?
Thinking for his dear life of what everyone else would feel, he’d had a thought.
No matter how tattered he was, being plagued by the feeling of powerlessness, failing utterly, everyone placed faith in Subaru.
Regardless of how shameless, how unsightly the way he’d died was, in pain, with harshness, fear, crying, screaming, wetting himself, everyone placed faith in Subaru.
I love all of you.
Up on the top of the Crimson Lapis Castle, was this game to reach past the ten seconds of despair, and the eleventh second beyond that, and further on, dying over and over again; and, the one who wins is――,
――The one who wins is always you, Master!
Subaru: [Louiiiis――!!]
Pointing to Olbart, he called out the name of the girl at the end of the linkage of warmth.
Then, he squeezed Louis’s hand tightly and forcefully―― instantly, the world changed.
Olbart: [――What the!?]
The opponent he was supposed to kill with his shurikens disappeared, causing Olbart to shout in astonishment.
That was an illegal technique, one outside Olbart’s understanding that went wholly unnoticed by the cautious shinobi. The sole way to outsmart Olbart was the first use of this teleport, as he would be able to respond the second time it were employed.
And Subaru, who was teleported by Louis’s power and flown――,
Subaru: [AHHHHHH――!]
Olbart: [Huoh?]
Resolutely, Subaru clung to the back of Olbart’s head, that was right in front of him.
He clung to the small old man in a desperate attempt to survive, not letting go of him, clutching at his gray hair with all his strength. The moment of the teleport was unexpected to the point that even Olbart was unable to react to being grappled.
The small Subaru did his best to cling to the old man, who was not much taller than him.
Naturally, Olbart tried to pull him off of himself, and Yorna, suddenly awestruck, tried to run over to them.
Olbart: [Whoa! T-the hell’s that! Boy!?]
Yorna: [Children! Get away now! Old Man Olbart’s…]
Olbart’s arm grabbed Subaru’s hair and tried to pull him down forcefully. Although she wished to stop that, Yorna feared meddling in that attempt, delaying her move.
Taking little notice of the pair’s reactions, while desperately clinging onto him, Subaru raised his voice――,
Subaru: [――My win!]
And, shouted.
Olbart: [――What?]
At that moment, Olbart’s hand loosened as he tried to pull Subaru away, and Yorna’s eyes went wide, and looked over at him, wondering what she had just said.
Not paying attention to the reaction of the adults around him, Subaru clung on tightly to Olbart, refusing to let him go.
Subaru: [My win… It’s my win! It’s Olbart-san’s loss! Isn’t it!?]
Olbart: [But, what are ya sayin’…]
Subaru: [You said we only needed to do it once!]
Olbart: [Huh?]
As the energy he was putting in to shake him free petered out, Subaru finally raised his face and spoke to the back of Olbart’s gray head in front of him. Sobbing both tears and leaking snot from the excitement and his racing heart, Subaru’s throat twitched.
Subaru: [T-the game of tag! In hide-and-seek, we were supposed to find you three times… But in tag, we were supposed to catch you once…]
Olbart: [――――]
Subaru: [That’s why! It’s my win! I caught you! This game’s my win! Olbart-san, Yorna-san, you both lost to me! That’s why, it’s my ween――] [2]
He thought to himself, that he was saying some absurd reasoning.
In the first place, Subaru and the others had been the ones to choose to play hide-and-seek as opposed to tag. To do something such as suddenly changing the rules of the game of tag was unfair.
It was unfair, but he still couldn’t come up with any other method.
Besides――,
Subaru: [It was Olbart-san who cheated first…]
Olbart: [――――]
Subaru: [S-so that’s why, I’m telling you, i-it’s my win――]
Little-by-little, the tears and runny nose that came pouring out of his eyes became unbearable, and his voice became raspy.
Despite that, Subaru poured strength into his clinging arms, not letting go of his sly victory. He had caught Olbart and won the game of tag. He had won.
Yorna: [――What will you do now, Old Man Olbart?]
Suddenly, Yorna asked that of Olbart, who had fallen silent.
Glancing over, Yorna relit the tip of her kiseru and let out a plume of fresh purple smoke. Her appearance as she took it into her lungs was as beautiful as before she started fighting.
Still, depending on Olbart’s answer, she would be willing to fight for and protect Subaru and Louis, with whom she had little to no connection.
And that wasn’t the last of Olbart’s troubles.
Louis: [Uau! Aa, uu!]
Olbart: [Thaaat hurts.]
While Subaru was still clinging to Olbart, Louis, who had travelled with him, stomped on Olbart’s foot. Louis glared at Olbart, her round eyes narrowed to their fullest.
In response to Subaru’s complaint, Yorna’s question, and Louis’s glare, Olbart was silent for a moment, then violently scratched at his own head.
And then――,
Olbart: [I’m the one who said he didn’t like the idea of throwin’ away a game he’s set in motion halfway thro’. Didn’t expect it ta be abused this way.]
Yorna: [――Is that your answer, Old Man?]
Yorna’s words were quiet, her eyes lowering to meet Olbart’s.
Nothing happened. Because Olbart had plopped down on the spot, sitting cross-legged. With Subaru clinging onto his back, Olbart, flashed a toothy grin and said,
Olbart: [Kakakakka! Anyone can see I’ve lost. If I said somethin’ like whether I win or lose doesn’t matter, then I wouldn’t be a shinobi, I’d be an animal.]
After saying that, Olbart slapped his knee with his hand with “I lost I lost!”, looking up at the sky.
Under the blue sky, atop of the beautiful, slowly-mending Castle, one second, two seconds, beyond the ten seconds of despair, from the eleventh second onward, the future was quietly, surely, being etched――.
Subaru: [It’s, my wiiiiiiiin…!]
Subaru’s nose went sniff-sniff, and while sobbing he continued raising complaints.
Listening to Subaru clinging to his back, Olbart let out a “Kakakakka!”, and smiling,
Olbart: [If ya keep sayin’ that, I’m gonna get angry. ――Shuddup.]
And so, he tapped Subaru’s forehead with his hand.
Notes:
[1] Idakikubi (抱き首), is one of the many steps of seppuku, performed by someone besides the one who’s cutting their own stomach open. This word references the act of nearly severing the neck entirely, leaving one piece of skin left, making the head of the one who has performed seppuku fall onto their knees.
[2] The misspelling is intentional.