BXBX NOVEL Arc 8, Chapter 24 - “To Walk in the Light”
Arc 8, Chapter 24 - “To Walk in the Light”
???: [――Spica, is it?]
Looking at the two crying, Rem and the girl who had been Louis up until that point, a voice muttered.
Subaru wiped his tearful eyes with the back of his hand and turned around to see Ram, the person who had spoken. With her usual calm expression, she sat with her long legs crossed and her chin propped on her arm that rested on the table.
She tilted her head slightly and looked at Subaru with narrowed light crimson eyes,
Ram: [Where did that name come from?]
Subaru: […It’s the name of a star. From my hometown, though.]
Ram: [So, you’re a poet, out of character for Barusu. But do you understand?]
With narrowed eyes, Ram’s gaze turned toward the two in an embrace.
That was enough to let Subaru know what Ram was actually saying.
Naturally, this was something he had discussed extensively before coming to this cabin.
Ram: [Do you know exactly what it means to use a Sin Archbishop, even if it is for a greater purpose?]
Subaru: [――. Of course, I thought about it. I can’t say I understand for sure, but…]
Ram: [If that’s the case, then stop.]
Subaru: [――Hk.]
Subaru’s throat let out a small sound as the cold, hard words struck him.
However, Ram, with eyes unmoved by his pain, continued to add.
Ram: [If you don’t properly understand, then don’t do it. ――That is, to understand the meaning of facing these eyes.]
Saying this, Ram extended her hand, which had been supporting her chin, and touched the slender shoulder beside her.
It was Tanza, who stood next to Ram and watched the exchange between Subaru and the others along with Ram. Tanza was asked to be a witness and was present.
Her black eyes flickered at Subaru’s gaze,
Tanza: [I am very aware of Schwartz-sama’s feelings, as we have weathered many hardships at Ginunhive and along the way since then. However…]
Subaru: [Tanza.]
Tanza: [However, I would be inclined to think that even Schwartz-sama, who brought even Cecilus-sama with him, should not bring a Sin Archbishop with him.]
Resolutely correcting the wavering light in her eyes, Tanza looked at Subaru and said this.
Tanza did not flatter anyone by choosing words that were pleasing to the ear, but rather asserted her honest opinion. Tanza’s honest, yet childlike, opinions were thus deeply felt by Subaru.
Subaru: […Yeah, I know, I’ve been an idiot.]
After Tanza’s words, he was once again acutely aware of the truth behind Ram’s words.
And that was the mistaken weight of what Natsuki Subaru had chosen.
Subaru: [I understand it all right. I’ve been told a lot, and I’m going to take it all on.]
Ram: [Yes. Ram is telling you, whatever Barusu or Rem may say, Ram will not allow it.]
???: […Hk, Nee-sama.]
Ram: [No, Rem, as your older sister, your kindness makes Ram proud, but this is different.]
Holding Spica in a tight embrace, Rem looked at Ram with tearful eyes. But, shaking her head in response to her sister’s gaze, Ram clearly stated her viewpoint.
It was natural. Ram was yet another victim of Gluttony, robbed of her other half, Rem.
He would never think of trying to say something so presumptuous such as that her position was comparable to Subaru’s.
That was why――,
Ram: [For her to want to be forgiven, the entrance for such a wish has yet to be opened. The only reason why this girl… Spica, has not been torn apart by Ram even now, is the issue of Memories, that is all.]
Rem: […I don’t know how to get my Memories back right now, if anything happens to Spica…]
Ram: [Though it is unlikely, Rem’s Memories not coming back is an outcome that cannot be allowed to happen. Rem said it would be fine if they do not return, but Ram doesn’t want that. For Rem and Ram to recall just how much we loved each other, Ram will ensure we remember.]
Flatly declaring that she would regain her love, Ram’s conclusion was the same as before.
When the battle of the Pleiades Watchtower concluded, with Ley Batenkaitos dying, and Roy Alphard successfully being taken into custody, Roy’s life was not taken, as he was a possible means of helping the victims of the Authority of Gluttony.
However――,
Ram: [The only difference is that when compared to that Sin Archbishop, she is more cooperative.]
Subaru: [Ram…]
Ram: [Stop making that face. Alright? If she wants to be forgiven, she has to make amends first. That is the logical thing to do. Anyway, she had already been told this.]
Subaru: [――. Right.]
With a nod in response to Ram’s words, Subaru pressed his small fist against his chest.
Exactly as she said, Spica has been allowed a generous deferral for now. The people involved with her extended the period of deferral of her punishment because of her deeds and usefulness.
All Subaru could give her was a name to kick-start her determination to begin living anew, and assist her by getting a lot of other people to agree to extend the deferment.
Subaru: [For the time being, Spica… Are you unable to use the power of your Authority to restore Rem’s Memory and Name in one go?]
Spica: [Uu, au…]
Subaru: [As expected, that’s asking too much…]
Peeking over the shoulder of Rem’s embrace, Spica shook her head apologetically.
She was opening and closing both her hands, but it did not seem easy to freely control her Authority and return that which the Gluttonies had collected.
Rem: […Are you sure that Louis-chan… No, Spica-chan, can do this? Can Spica-chan bring back mine and other people’s missing memories?]
Subaru: [At least, Spica is the one with the highest chance, being able to do that is the minimum requirement. That in itself is already a different matter from what the Stargazer talked about.]
Rem was worried, but that was something that Spica would need to be able to do.
This was the essential condition needed for Spica to walk while bearing the cross of “Louis” on her shoulders.
To that end, Spica needed to master the use of the Authority of Gluttony――,
Subaru: [――――]
Rem: [――? Um?]
A momentary, fleeting anxiety shut down her words and made Rem’s eyes waver.
The generosity exhibited by Ram, the conditions necessary to undertake that, knowing the means that must be achieved in order to do so, the Authority’s very existence was dreadful.
It was dreadful that in order to become something that was not the unforgivable Sin Archbishop, the Authority utilized by the Sin Archbishop would continue to be used, and Spica’s way of life would once again draw closer to that of “Louis Arneb”.
To keep Spica alive, meant to continue fighting against that fear.
With that resolve settled――,
Subaru: [――I’ll have you do it. I’m counting on you, Spica.]
Spica: [U! Auau!]
With definite determination housed within her blue eyes, Spica nodded vigorously at Subaru’s words.
Though Spica and the villainous “Louis Arneb” shared an appearance, their innermost feelings did not overlap. That was a hope that could certainly be believed in.
Subaru: [Tanza, I’m sorry I didn’t take your advice.]
Tanza: [――. Do you expect me to just smile and forgive you, saying it is something that always happens?]
Taking his eyes off Rem and Spica, Subaru turned back towards Tanza. The tone of Subaru’s voice worsened, and Tanza responded in a voice stiff in emotions.
At that response, Subaru shrugged his shoulders with a “No,”
Subaru: [I don’t expect that. After all, you rarely smile at me.]
Tanza: [That is not what I…]
Subaru: [I do know what you mean. But, give me a break.]
Tanza: […If that is what you want, there must be countless methods to choose from. Why not just say that her power is for the sake of the Vollachian Empire and, by extension, for Yorna-sama’s salvation?]
Tightly pursing her lips, Tanza vehemently argued so to Subaru.
Regardless of the authenticity of the Stargazer’s prophecy, if attention was drawn to the fact that Spica’s presence was essential to this battle, then Tanza would not be able to say no with Yorna’s life on the line.
But, Subaru did not like that approach.
Subaru: [I could probably get Tanza to do as I say using that unfair tactic, but I don’t like that idea. I don’t want to use any unfair methods on anyone. You’re one person who I feel that especially strongly about.]
Tanza: [――. In that case, it is impossible for Schwartz-sama.]
Tanza finally turned away from Subaru, hugging her own thin arms.
Confronted face-to-face with gestures and words regarding his cowardice, Subaru let out a long sigh.
The things Subaru wanted to do were always a path that would do nothing but hurt the people around him, the people who cared about Subaru.
Ram: [Well? How well did the unfair and cowardly Barusu play his cards out there?]
Subaru gave a wry smile at the way Ram phrased it.
Ram was kind for not letting Subaru’s self-mockery be replaced with self-satisfaction in this way. Although he really wished that he could have played his cards as well as Ram put it.
Subaru: [I didn’t do anything so perfectly. I had the means to do it over until I did it perfectly, but…]
For example, at the Gladiator Island, Subaru had been able to do that without hesitation.
Whenever he went down a mistaken path, or progressed into an undesired relationship, he gave it another go using a method to recover from those mistakes, with an assertiveness to just keep repeating in a cycle of trial and error.
Subaru: [But, now that I’m reunited with everyone, I don’t want to do that.]
As he said this, Subaru slid his tongue around inside his mouth; that which had been stored there for an awfully long time, the drug cartridge hidden behind his molar―― Ascertaining that he did not feel that package of poison, he closed his eyes.
Even if he did resort to that method again, he would never use it in order to avert his eyes from mistakes in his relationships.
And precisely because he had firmly decided that in his heart――,
Subaru: [――After all, Otto also punched me really hard.]
That even if the path he trod would force him to make sacrifices, he must not repeat it.
△▼△▼△▼△
Garfiel: [Ottobro, show me yer hand, ‘n I’ll fix it up.]
Upon hearing this, Otto turned to face Garfiel, who stood in front of him.
This rough-looking boy, despite his rugged exterior, had a very delicate nature. He was considerate and kind-hearted, truly embodying the essence of a member of the Emilia camp.
In response to Garfiel’s offer, Otto shook his head and replied,
Otto: [There is no need to be so concerned. It is not that serious…]
Garfiel: [Ottobro, that ain’t like ya.]
Otto: [――――]
Garfiel: [Y’know, it ain’t like my amazin’ self don’t have my own thoughts ‘n feelings. So, I kinda understand how ya must feel.]
Garfiel scratched his head and closed one of his eyes. Then, he gestured toward Otto’s hand with a jerk of his chin.
It was a painful sight, Otto’s right hand, which was swollen and bruised.
For a moment, Otto tried to turn away, to hide his hand from view, but it was foolish to think that he could do so in front of his sworn younger brother who was a skilled warrior. Above all――,
Garfiel: [You ain’t plannin’ on goin’ into an important battle with that untreated hand, are ya Bro?]
Otto: […With you saying that, I really cannot argue, can I?]
With a wry smile, conceding to the reasonable persuasion, Otto extended his bruised right hand.
The dark, swollen fist throbbed with pain. From the sensations that he had accumulated over the more than two decades of his life, Otto was pretty sure that the bones in his fist were broken.
If anything, thinking so only intensified the pain. Whether it was broken or not, it sure felt like it was broken.
Garfiel: [This feels like the “Timid Domus is the first to die on the battlefield”.]
Otto: [Did that not mean that someone who is usually timid going all out on the battlefield and dying a pointless death?]
Garfiel: [Well, I wouldn’t exactly associate “timid” with ya, Ottobro.]
As he spoke, Garfiel gently grasped the offered hand and cast a healing spell.
A sensation like being gently warmed by hot water enveloped his hand along with a faint light. In just a few seconds, the pain in Otto’s fist had subsided.
Garfiel: [It’s freshly healed, so if you’re gonna punch again, use yer left.]
Otto: [I do not want to break both hands. I will leave the next punch to you, Garfiel.]
Garfiel: [If my amazin’ self did it, there’d be a massive hole, wouldn’t there? It’s only ‘cuz of yer strength that it stopped at that, y’know?]
With a gritting of teeth, Garfiel turned his head, sending his gaze towards the wall of the carriage.
Indeed, just as Garfiel had said, there was a slight indentation and a crack in the wall. That mark was made by Otto’s fist, and the height of that mark――,
Garfiel: [――Is right around our shrunken Captain’s head, huh?]
Otto: [It is fortunate of Natsuki-san that he was small at that time. If I had punched him in that state, no matter the explanation, I would have come across as the villain.]
Garfiel: [No doubt about that. Well, if the Captain were his usual size, after ya were done, I might’ve taken a swing myself.]
Garfiel chuckled at Otto’s light-hearted remark.
Seeing Garfiel’s reaction, the corner of Otto’s mouth twitched into a smile. “Oh, honestly,” he muttered, scratching his head with his right hand that had just healed.
His freshly healed right hand still hurt when he handled it roughly. But, the pain was reassuring.
Otto: [Simple as it may be, pain can be therapeutic… Oh, maybe I should have just gone ahead and punched Natsuki-san regardless of his size after all.]
Garfiel: [If that’s what you’re thinkin’, wanna go give him a smack together now?]
Otto: [No thank you. If we go now, we will see something we would rather not.]
Garfiel, trying his best to be comforting, groaned with a low “Gao…”, struggling for words upon hearing Otto’s response.
Even though he had not intended to, Otto reflected on his words, feeling as though he had unfairly lashed out. ――But, did he really have no such intention?
Could he confidently say that he had not aimed those sharp words at Garfiel who was always looking out for his best interests, fully knowing that he would never turn against him?
Otto: […This is frustrating.]
Muttering to himself, Otto, once again, smacked his forehead with his right hand, a bit harder this time.
The forehead that was smacked and the right hand that smacked it both cried out in pain.
――Presently, Subaru had headed towards the cabin where Ram and Rem were waiting. There, he was expected to confront “Louis” and engage in a conversation.
The topic likely to be discussed there was something that Otto, from the bottom of his heart, did not want happening. He could loudly declare that he absolutely did not want to be present for it.
Emilia and Beatrice, more worried about Subaru himself than the nature of the conversation, had followed him. Whether they would enter the cabin or not remained uncertain, but he could easily imagine them anxiously awaiting the outcome.
However, considering the circumstances――
Garfiel: [――――]
Garfiel, with his awkward expression and silence, probably had stayed here out of concern for Otto.
Emilia, Beatrice, and Garfiel all had a way of making Otto’s heart sour.
――Otto’s stance on the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony, Louis Arneb, had consistently been that she must be eliminated at all costs.
Because he believed this and had strongly resolved himself to it, there was a fact that Otto had deliberately not shared with Emilia and the others.
Since their reunion in the Fortress City of Guaral, and through several encounters with “Louis”, the girl who was unable to speak―― his ears had never once picked up on any malice from her.
Otto: [――――]
Otto’s Divine Protection of the Soul of Language had a simple function, one that enabled him to communicate with any living being, and only that. While he had most frequently used it to exchange words with ground dragons or insects in order to gather information, if Otto so wished, he could even communicate with an infant.
There was a time during his difficult days as a traveling merchant, when he had taken on the task of looking after the infants of influential figures in various lands, simply to earn some money for his traveling expenses.
Even though an infant’s voice might not be able to form words, Otto could understand the underlying intention.
In the same vein, while the utterances of “Louis” might not have formed coherent speech, Otto was able to discern her intentions. And within them, he found no malice toward others; instead, her affection towards Subaru and Rem had made up the most of it.
That was why Otto had placed a lid over this certain truth and never told Emilia or the others about it.
As long as doubts were harbored, he could prevent them from getting too close to “Louis.”
Once those doubts were dispelled, it was needless to say what kind of attitude the kind-hearted Emilia and others would display towards “Louis” or how they would approach her in terms of emotional distance.
That would――,
???: [――Otto-kun, Garf-kun, mind if I have a word?]
Otto: [――――]
With a light knock-knock on the cabin door, peeping in was Anastasia, clad in a kimono.
Upon seeing her, who had brought Julius beside her in a similar fashion, Otto tightened his cheeks and gave a nod, signaling “Yes.”
Anastasia: [It seemed like things over there were gonna take a while, ‘n I thought it might be a bit much for all of us to wait together. I was also worried ’bout Otto-kun’s hand…]
Garfiel: [Even without yer worries, I already healed Bro’s hand. Besides…]
Anastasia: [Hmm?]
Garfiel: [I ain’t comfortable with ya callin’ me “Garf-kun”.]
Garfiel voiced his grievance while crinkling up his nose, to which Anastasia widened her eyes in surprise. She then chuckled, “Sorry ‘bout that,” and said,
Anastasia: [Y’see, Mimi’s always callin’ ya “Garf” ‘n talkin’ ’bout ya like that, so I just got used to thinkin’ of ya as “Garf-kun”. Is “Garf-kun” not okay?]
Garfiel: [Not that it ain’t okay, but…]
Otto: [Garfiel, there is no need to fuss.]
While Garfiel reluctantly stood his ground against Anastasia, Otto patted his shoulder and shook his head.
When Anastasia and company had entered, Garfiel shifted his position, placing himself between Otto and them. ――To be precise, it was not due to Anastasia.
Garfiel: [――――]
The presence of Julius, standing right beside Anastasia, was the reason.
When he had appeared in the cabin, Otto’s demeanor had shifted, and Garfiel noticed it. Grateful for Garfiel’s thoughtfulness, Otto nodded.
And then, standing beside Garfiel, who was basically his younger brother at this point, Otto presented his right hand to Anastasia and company.
Otto: [As Garfiel has said, my hand has already been treated.]
Anastasia: [I see, I see. That’s good to hear. I was thinkin’ ’bout havin’ Julius heal it if need be, but I guess I was bein’ kinda nosy.]
Anastasia playfully stuck out her tongue while looking smug as she spoke, grating on Otto’s nerves. If she thought they could not refuse her suggestion, she was unfortunately mistaken.
While Otto and Garfiel were absent from the Augria Sand Dunes, it was possible that the duo of Anastasia and Julius had deepened their friendship with Subaru, Emilia, and the others, but——,
Otto: [Unlike them, I properly remember that you two are our enemies.]
Anastasia: [――. Ya really are good, Otto-kun. Of course, I don’t dislike Emilia-san ‘n’ the others, but… without that kinda response, I’d lose my competitive edge, too.]
Otto’s gaze sharpened, to which Anastasia responded with a gentle smile. Although her expression and voice were soft, the light in her pale blue eyes was firm, and Otto too understood.
Even though they had gone to the trouble of crossing the border into the Vollachian Empire, Anastasia clearly established camp delineations. That was precisely why they had boarded the Dragon Carriage in a position of such importance to the Kararagi City-States.
In that regard, the problem was not Anastasia,
Otto: [Knight Julius.]
Julius: [Earlier, I made an excessive statement. Allow me to apologize for that.]
Otto: [Apologize, huh.]
After addressing the other party with a harsh voice, hearing Julius’s reply caused a sigh to escape Otto’s lips.
The “excessive statement” seemed to be the comment that was expressed over the treatment of the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony from the earlier exchange.
In the sense that he was voicing his opinion, Julius was merely exercising his right to do so.
Those were supposed to be Julius’s own words to the then agitated Otto.
Otto: [So, you say that you have reconsidered? That you are an outsider, after all.]
Julius: [No, the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony’s Authority… I am involved in the sense that I have been harmed by it. I also have a younger brother, whose existence I cannot recall. From that point of view too, I do not consider myself to be an outsider.]
Otto: […In that case, in what way did you exceed yourself?]
Lowering his voice, Otto furrowed his brow as he listened.
Despite having offered an apology, Julius stated that he had no intention of changing his opinion regarding the part that Otto was concerned about.
It did not come to mind, however, another reason for Julius to apologize.
To the puzzled Otto, Julius then said.
Sincere gratitude and even a certain kind of respect towards the other permeating his yellow eyes,
Julius: [Otto-dono, for taking away your role, I apologize.]
Otto: [――――]
Julius: [I could tell by your reaction. Had I not brought it up, you would have spoken the same yourself. Nevertheless, using the fact that I myself am a victim of Gluttony as a pretext, I took away your role as a person partaken in the camp. Therefore,]
Cutting his words off there, Julius bowed deeply.
Then, with the crown of his light purple hair facing them,
Julius: [From the bottom of my heart, I apologize. I am truly sorry.]
Yes, when shown such a genuine display of apology, Otto bit hard on the inside of his cheek.
Had his reaction been any slower, he would have almost bit his lip in front of the other party. Bowing his head, Julius could not see it, but Anastasia could.
That absolutely had to be avoided.
Anastasia: [Julius really wanted to apologize for that, didn’t he? So, I was thinkin’ that if Otto-kun’s hand hadn’t healed yet, it’d be easier to start the conversation that way.]
Garfiel: […’s that right? Well, sorry ’bout that.]
Anastasia: [That’s fine. Even if without a cue, my Knight is good at apologizin’ properly.]
Setting aside Otto and Julius, the two parties involved, exchanging such words were Anastasia and Garfiel. Meanwhile, Julius kept his head bowed, and Otto belatedly realized that his response was being awaited.
Otto needed to give a response, or this apology would not be complete.
Otto: […Your head, raise it, please.]
Taking his time, Otto slowly addressed the other party.
In response, Julius also began to slowly raise his lowered head. Seeing the Knight in his waso, with the scar under his left eye accentuating his dashing features, Otto sighed.
And――,
Otto: [That your statement was not malicious, and that you were trying to cooperate with Natsuki-san, I do not doubt. But, you are our enemy. That remains the same.]
Julius: [Otto-dono.]
Otto: [I am not a Knight, so we have no opportunity to cross swords. You are neither a merchant nor a civil official, so we have no opportunity to cross words. ――Nevertheless, though we are in a position to cross neither swords nor words, you are my enemy and I am yours.]
Tightly clenching his fist hard enough that it hurt, Otto declared to Julius.
Taking Otto’s words head on, Julius’s eyes widened. Be it astonishment or amazement, the fact that it was not the kind of surprise you would direct at someone you don’t think of as an enemy protected Otto’s pride.
Otto: [Anastasia-sama, I would like to say this beforehand… No matter what Natsuki-san’s and Emilia-sama’s opinions are, the reason for making use of the Sin Archbishop is in the Empire. If we are slandered because of the Sin Archbishop’s existence, it is the Empire that should bear the blame.]
Anastasia: [――Hmm, I have no objection to that either. Even if I did, I don’t think I would take such a thing in my hands. ‘Cause ya know, that’s how it is right?]
Anastasia closed one eye at Otto, who turned in her direction and made a pertinent argument.
As she stroked her white fox scarf, she turned her gaze in another direction―― towards the cabin where Subaru and the others probably were.
Anastasia: [No matter what kind of plan it may be, as soon as a Sin Archbishop is allowed to be involved, people around us will be disgusted, regardless of how deep or shallow the relationship is. This isn’t true just for the Empire, nor just Emilia’s camp, it’s true for us too.]
Otto: [――If you understand, then that is fine.]
Nodding to Anastasia’s answer, Otto relaxed his shoulders slightly.
If a Sin Archbishop was involved in a matter, it could not be received positively in any situation. That was the framework of this world and an unshakable truth.
No matter what the victim Julius said, no matter how the kind-hearted Emilia showed the path to forgiveness, and no matter what the foolishly hopeful Subaru wanted, this remained true.
For that reason, they must thrust at one another.
Knives pointed at each other’s necks, while mutually pressing their fatal wounds.
Otto: [――Sorry, there is something I need to do. Excuse me.]
After confirming their common understanding, Otto suddenly said so.
Hearing that, Anastasia tilted her head with a, “Is that so?”. Beside her, Julius digested Otto’s earlier declaration, his surprised expression tightened, but Otto could not bear to look at him for too long, so he quickly turned away.
Garfiel: [Bro! My amazin’ self too…]
Otto: [Garfiel.]
Garfiel: [Huh?]
Otto: [I’ll be fine by myself.]
Swiftly, Otto attempted to leave the cabin. As Garfiel tried to follow him, Otto blocked him with his hand, saying so in an easy to understand manner.
It was not that he was okay alone, it was a plea that he wanted to be left alone. And then, the considerate younger brother obediently listened to him, nodded, and saw him off.
Otto: [――――]
Closing the quiet cabin door, Otto departed with long strides.
He left Garfiel in the same room as Anastasia and Julius. He was worried about what they would talk about, but he did not have the emotional leeway to support him.
He did not run, but his mind was in such disarray that he wanted to run.
Otto: [My role, taken…?]
Wanting to apologize, his head bowed, Julius’s words echoed within Otto’s head, causing him to clench his molars.
To be able to apologize, Julius was indeed the Knight of Anastasia, a sincere and earnest person. Such a pleasant thought, did not at all come to his mind.
He just felt very bitter about Julius’s misunderstanding.
Julius was making a big mistake.
Had Julius not said anything, Otto would never have said something that would poke a hole in Subaru’s impasse.
It was true that as Julius said, he would be lying if he said he did not have the same thoughts as him, but one could be assured that Otto would never say that, even in his death.
It was not because he was deprived of his role that he was so furious.
Otto was furious with Julius there because he said something he should not have said―― No, he did not want him to say. Julius did not understand that.
And yet, the one making that misunderstanding――,
Otto: [Indeed, those two are alike.]
At his core, this was proof that Julius was an idealist just like Subaru.
He believed that human beings were fundamentally good. But that was not because he was carefree. It was not because he was ignorant of reality. Even knowing the reality, he was still able to boast like that.
That was the same as Natuski Subaru and Emilia, their way of walking in the light.
Otto: [――Hk.]
??? [――Otto-kun, that’s no good.]
Suddenly, Otto felt his arm being gripped, snapping him back to reality.
Looking to see what had happened, he realized that he had unconsciously raised his arm, which was now being restrained by someone from behind.
Most likely, in a surge of emotion, he had just been about to punch the wall. It was the very right hand which had just been healed by Garfiel.
Roswaal: [This is Garfiel’s healing magic, isn’t it? It seems that it has just been healed, so it’d be awkward for you if you break it again right away.]
Otto: […I acknowledge that I did something stupid, so would you let me go?]
He involuntarily muttered with a low voice, surprising himself a little. But, the other party, seemingly used to it, made no mention of it and released Otto’s arm.
Standing there was Roswaal, who he never really wanted to run into. Although Otto never really wanted to encounter him, he now felt especially averse.
Roswaal: [That expression suggests you don’t even want to speak with me, doeeesn’t~ it?]
Otto: [If you can see that and still approach me, then you, Margrave, are truly relentless.]
Roswaal: [That’s an uncharacteristically dull retort from you. Seems like you’re taking it harder than I thooought~.]
Otto: [――――]
Naturally, Roswaal had also been a part of the earlier discussion in the passenger cabin.
He was well aware that Otto’s heart was furious during that meeting, as well as that he held an unyielding stance on how to treat the Sin Archbishops.
Knowing this and still acting this way, it was clear as day that Roswaal intended to provoke Otto.
If that was not the case, then he was far too inept at interacting with others.
Otto: [I am sure you can tell, Margrave, but I don’t have the patience for this right now. If you do not wish for your whole body to be munched on by the rats that I have purchased, I would advise against ruffling my feathers.]
Roswaal: [If I ever find myself being nibbled by rats, I’ll know that you were behind it. That may have been useful to hear, but… I’m genuinely concerned about you.]
Otto: […About me?]
As Otto responded with skepticism, Roswaal nodded.
With that response, Otto understood that Roswaal was pestering him from a different angle. That being done to him in a situation where he lacked patience made him truly feel nauseated, making it all the more abhorrent.
Otto: [Margrave, what are your thoughts?]
Roswaal: [Me? I’m of course in the same boat as you, Otto-kun. I couldn’t care less if the Empire is destroooyed~.]
Otto: [――――]
Roswaal: [Oh, perhaps I was mistaken? The Sin Archbishops are nothing but poison incapable of doing any good. Instead of pondering on how to make use of them, it would be better if the Empire just disappeared. Just as you suggested to Subaru-kun, it’d be fine if we just returned home bringing back only the members who he would feel guilty about abandoning.]
Roswaal’s attitude, shrugging as if to say “It was a great idea”, plainly displayed Otto’s own views back at him, giving him an unpleasant mood.
Shamelessly speaking in order to draw close to him, Roswaal went out of his way to fire Otto’s approach back at him, showing that the sheer nastiness of his character was reaching its peak.
At the same time, even though Otto recognized the pragmatic side of his own suggestion, he was repelled by his own inclination to think of it as the best solution.
Observing this self-loathing Otto, Roswaal peered closely and remarked,
Roswaal: [I will tell you this much, I think you’re doing more than enough, Otto-kun.]
Otto: […It seems that without makeup, even your sharp tongue is dulled, Margrave. It almost sounds as if you are trying to close the distance with me.]
Roswaal: [I have no talent for getting close with people, so don’t assume I am doing so. Either way, I believe you’re doing more than enough. But, there’s also the matter of “no matter how much you struggle”.]
Otto: [――. No matter how much, I struggle?]
Caught off guard by Roswaal’s choice of words, Otto’s eyebrows twitched.
As Otto repeated it, Roswaal gave a deep nod. He rested a hand on the slender chin of his makeup-free face, and as he closed a single eye, leaving his blue eye open,
Roswaal: [This recent incident serves as a perfect example. In most cases, things go according to how Subaru-kun and Emilia-sama desire them to. Everyone rallies around, organizing their efforts, arranging the path for their wishes to be met.]
Otto: […What are you saying?]
Taken aback by Roswaal’s sudden assertion, Otto furrowed his brow.
The idea that Subaru and Emilia’s wishes always came true was incredibly absurd. If that were the case, Emilia would have been crowned king and taken on the name Natsuki Emilia long ago.
The fact that this had not happened, meant that it was not the case.
Otto: [Are you mocking me? Or perhaps, are you ridiculing Natsuki-san and Emilia-sama?]
Roswaal: [Neither. I merely pity you. Your family’s contributions played a part in our journey from Lugunica to Vollachia. For that, I am grateful to you, and it is out of this gratitude that I offer this earnest advice.]
Otto: [――――]
Roswaal: [Becoming overly engrossed and finding yourself at odds with Subaru-kun and Emilia-sama is toxic for you. This toxin will erode you, and I fear that it may eventually kill you. After all, someone as capable as you is hard to come by.]
Gently, as he calmed the tone of his voice, Roswal spoke in a straightforward manner.
At some point, he had dropped the clownish intonations in his speech, and he appealed to Otto Suwen with sincerity in his heterochromatic eyes.
At those words and attitude, Otto stayed silent for a while, and after a bit, he noticed it.
The aim of the person named Roswaal L. Mathers.
Otto: [Margrave, I have understood your words. Therefore, I shall not follow your advice.]
Roswaal: [Hmm…]
Narrowing his eyes, Roswaal let out a long sigh with a hint of concern.
After that, to him as he tried to hear the truth for why his advice was rejected, Otto declared.
Otto: [I understand. ――I must be a hindrance for you. After all, I have not forgiven what you had orchestrated, Margrave, and I suspect that you are still plotting something.]
Roswaal: […Oh?]
Otto: [That was why you decided to approach me after seeing that I had a great deal of discontent built up. Perhaps you thought it a perfect chance to get rid of me under a plausible pretext, but that was a grave mistake.]
Indeed, Roswaal’s assessment was accurate.
The earlier exchange had been, in the time since Otto had joined the Emilia camp, perhaps the moment he had felt the most anger. Before joining the camp, there had been an incident that had angered him to the point of punching Subaru, and this anger rivaled that.
Otto: [Although, if you were thinking that I would just give up on everything because of that, you are gravely mistaken.]
Roswaal: [Otto-kun…]
Otto: [First of all, what was all that nonsense just now? Whatever Natsuki-san and Emilia-sama wish for will come to pass? Please do not utter such absurdities. That is not true in the slightest, which is why I, Garfiel, Beatrice-chan, Ram-san, Petra-chan, Frederica-chan, Patrasche-chan, and everyone else have struggled so desperately to get to this point.]
Saying that he was extremely misguided, Otto was viscerally furious at Roswaal.
Roswaal’s earlier assertion was this.
Whatever Subaru and Emilia desired, the people around them would somehow make it happen, so it was not necessary for him to be overly concerned and wear himself out. That no matter how much he objected, his opinion would be suppressed, making his presence meaningless.
However――,
Otto: [Such a thing, I could never.]
Roswaal: [――――]
Otto: [Margrave, about what you said, I do not know to what extent you were indicating that everyone rallies around them… At the very least, supposing I were to side with all of Natsuki-san’s opinions, affirming them all, and arranging the path such that everything would come to pass. ――I do not consider myself capable of doing such a thing.]
He was not like Beatrice or Garfiel, who could lend their powerful abilities.
Nor was he like Ram, Frederica, or Petra, who could provide their indispensable support.
He did not have the power to grant all their wishes either, so what was the meaning of Otto being there?
Otto: [I cannot do that. I will not acknowledge that. I will not allow that. Whenever Natsuki-san and Emilia-sama desire something, the moment that I stop speaking out, will be when my very reason for being ceases.]
Roswaal: [――――]
Otto: [Unfortunately for you, Margrave, it will not be as you desire.]
While intensely staring at Roswaal, Otto plainly declared so.
It was probably the first time that Roswaal had been so one-sidedly pressured in the span of a single breath.
Of course, while it had never been expressed aloud, there had always been this kind of intense tension between Otto and Roswaal.
For that reason, when Roswaal saw the opportunity, he approached Otto in an attempt to remove a hindrance, and attempt to set the board to his advantage.
But, Otto would not yield. At least, not because of today’s ludicrous reasoning.
Otto: [I have decided where I stand. I cannot walk in the light, and that is fine.]
Roswaal: [――――]
Otto: [That was a bad move, Margrave. It would have been better had you not approached me.]
Nevertheless, the outcome would have remained unchanged, or so he would have liked to say.
However, if he had at least taken more time before reaching an outcome, it may have swayed. But, Roswaal’s haste to get the result that he desired had led to the opposite, to an undesired result.
And, it was at the moment when Otto caught his breath in front of Roswaal, who wore a pleasantly different sullen face.
???: [Ah, Otto-san! Found you!]
Upon being called by a high-pitched voice, accompanied by the patter of tiny footsteps, Otto turned around.
Thereupon, his eyes met with Petra’s, who was running towards him while waving her hand.
Otto: [Lady Petra… I mean, Petra-chan.]
Reflexively addressing her out of the habit that had formed when they were undercover, Otto placed a hand over his mouth and corrected himself. Petra, who had run up to Otto and was slightly out of breath, asked,
Petra: [Otto-san, is your hand okay? I heard you punched the wall with all your strength…]
Otto: [Everybody seems to be asking me that. Fortunately, Garfiel healed it for me, so it is fine. Sorry for making you worry.]
Petra: [No not at all, as long as you are okay, then it’s fine… What is the Master doing?]
Giving a wry smile, Otto showed Petra his unharmed hand since she had been worried. Relieved, Petra immediately changed her expression and glared at Roswaal.
In response to that gaze, Roswaal weakly shook his head and said, “No”,
Roswaal: [I was just reflecting on my habitual behavior.]
Petra: [The Master is…? Since you never reflect on anything, would it not taste like nothing?] [1]
Roswaal: [Uwah.]
Otto had also intended to put a lot of pressure on Roswaal, but the impact of Petra’s single comment was incomparable.
In fact, Roswaal’s shoulders had drooped, but Petra, who had been watching Roswaal intently, suddenly exclaimed “Ah” as if she had just remembered something.
Then, she turned towards Otto, the ribbon on her head swaying,
Petra: [Speaking of which, I didn’t just hear about your hand. A little while ago, you guys were talking about Louis-chan, so…]
Otto: [Ah, yes, that is right. For that as well, sorry for making you――]
Petra: [So I, in place of Otto-san, went ahead and hit Subaru.]
Otto: [――――]
Thrusting out her small hand that was tightly clenched into a fist, Petra declared so.
Looking alternately at the outstretched fist and at Petra’s enthusiastic face, Otto blinked his eyes in surprise.
At Otto’s reaction, Petra’s breathing became a little rough, and,
Petra: [Otto-san, I heard that you held back. Because Otto-san would have felt sorry for hitting the now-small Subaru. So, I did it myself!]
Opening her closed fist, Petra showed off her palm. As she peeked at him from behind her palm, Otto stayed silent for a while.
But, he could not hold back.
Otto: [Ha, hahaha, ahhaha!]
When Julius had apologized to him, he had endured the discomfort.
When Roswaal had gone on the offensive, he had even endured the helplessness of being showered with blows.
But now, when faced with Petra’s words of good sentiment, he could not endure it.
Laughter did not mean that everything was settled.
With the issue still remaining, as always, Otto was opposed to Subaru’s thoughts.
Even so, while remaining opposed, since his reason for being was to keep saying that the point of compromise Subaru had found was unacceptable, he would continue to say it.
He would never give in.
Otto: [Petra-chan.]
Petra: [Yes?]
Otto: [Thank you.]
Saying that, Otto placed his palm against the palm that the young girl had extended.
A light clap resounded, and Petra laughed, saying, “My pleasure.”
Note:
[1] - Roswaal says he is 噛みしめる, which literally means “to chew on”, but is used to mean reflecting on something. This is why Petra comments on the taste.