BXBX NOVEL Chapter 34 Personalities
Right now I was with my 2 selves, the only thing I could see was them, while all my surroundings were still dark violet, making everything unrecognizable to me.
"What the fuck are you guys?" I asked hesitantly, as I looked to both my sides.
"We're you" John replied.
"And you... you're us" Christian whispered.
"..." With a frown, I looked down at the floor "*sigh* What the fuck is going on...?"
"Why do you ask?" scoffed John.
"You know... perfectly... what... is... going... on" whispered Christian slowly.
"We broke" whispered the 3 of us at the same time.
"Multiple... personality... disorder..." Christian whispered.
"Yeah, yeah, brainiac, shut up for a while, my head hurts" John replied lazily.
"It hurts" I corrected.
Why did this happen?
"Overload" replied John.
I didn't even bother to ask him how he knows what I was thinking, after all, we are one.
"A lot of stress... mental... and... bodily" murmured Christian 2. bodily" Christian 2 muttered.
"What was that? I felt like I was going to explode" I muttered as I remembered what I experienced a few seconds ago.
"Why the fuck are you asking us? We're you, we don't know anything you don't know, asshole" John replied with venom.
"Asshole..."
"You're a couple of annoying shits."
"We're you, you're annoying shit."
"Annoying shit..."
"..."
"I don't understand... we cracked under the stress... How did it happen and what's it for?"
"We don't know how it happened" John replied "But I'm handling the psychological load right now and let me just say we're pretty intense"
"I...handle...our...body" Whispered Christian 2 "It's... hard... a lot... to... process"
"And what the fuck do I do?" I whisper, but I knew the answer perfectly well.
I rebuild us...
I no longer have the mental/emotional confusion I felt since I reincarnated or regained my memories, I no longer feel my intense feelings and confusion at my actions.
I have two big problems.
Mental confusion and that weird shit I felt in my body.
"Why are my thoughts so confused?"
"You know" They both muttered at the same time.
"I know..."
Right now I only have my rational self, I don't feel anything else besides rationality. No feelings, no having to breathe, no discomfort slowing me down.
"Of course, I know"
"Christian longed to be able to communicate normally, longed to show affection, friendship or anger. But the boy was so stupid he thought learning other languages would make everything easier" John whispered.
"John... longed... for... family... love... but... he... was... so... stupid... that... he... pushed... everyone... away... because... fear of... being... harmed" Christian murmured.
"Christian has an intense fear of his father" John whispered.
"John has only hatred for my father..."
"Together we conflicted emotionally" Whisper "But we completed each other in our desires, that's why when we felt happy with mom, the desire was so intense... that's why when I wanted to hit Brayan, I felt so much fear and anger at the same time... it's my two personalities and thoughts clashing against each other..."
Two distinct personalities clashed together, causing a problem within my psyche.
But now being separated and broken...
"We managed to understand why" We all 3 whispered at the same time.
Wait...
If one is John and the other Christian...
Who am I?
"Are you stupid?" John asked.
"You know it... perfectly" Christian 2 whispered.
"I'm our merger of personalities..."
"The ultimate" We all 3 muttered at the same time.
Together we complete mentally, Christian couldn't communicate, John can. John was always cautious with his relationships, he always preferred to walk away rather than get hurt, but Christian was the opposite, being a child, his thoughts weren't as deep, he just wanted affection.
We both want the same thing, and between the two of us, we make amends.
But, although our personalities together can complement each other, our desires and feelings vary on many occasions, practically the only thing we agree on, is to receive affection and help our family.
With my reincarnation I came to believe in the concept of the soul, I can't have my memories of my other life if something similar to the soul did not exist since my brain is not John's, but Christian's.
Same body, same soul, two different personalities.
One adult personality, one childish.
Both personalities are looking for love.
One personality is fearful and shy, the other aggressive and lonely.
All united inside me.
Sigh
This didn't happen in the novels...
But presumably, even if we are the same person, personalities are not something you can just adapt like that.
But...
What the fuck was that I felt a few moments ago?
"We don't know" We all 3 answered at the same time.
"I'm feeling everything mental, anger, fear, pain, tiredness, etc."
"I... am... feeling... everything... the... physical... blood... nerves... organs... muscles... muscles... etc"
"Do you feel the adrenaline?" I asked after a few seconds of thought.
"Yes... but... I... can't... control it..."
"Mmm... can you turn off the pain?" John asked.
"I think... but... I... don't... know... where... is... the... system... that... it... controls... everything... it... is... very... confusing"
"Confusing?"
"Yes... many... sounds... I... can.... not... understand... what... I... hear... also... I... see... many... things... our... sight... expands... expands... y... contracts... I... can... not... have... control... it"
"Fiuuu~" John hissed, raising his eyebrows "You've got it, tough buddy"
"Sis... no..."
"What's going on outside?" We spoke quickly to John.
"Hailie...getting closer.... a... daddy... Ashley... crying... a lot."
"We have to become one again, let's turn this purple shit off" I whispered, as I calmly looked sideways, unable to move from the floor.
I manage to know the reason for my mental confusion, by having the idea of the problem, I can try to adapt my behavior, just not having the confusion already helps me enough.
But my body issue is something that no matter how much I analyze, I can't understand its origin or how to control it, and time is what I have the least at the moment.
"We don't know how to do it, you're the ultimate, we're just something created by your mind to endure everything" John shrugged, not bothered by the situation.
"You divided... your... consciousness... to... control... everything... or.... we would die"
"All done by instinct" We all 3 whispered at the same time.
I don't know how I came to that conclusion, but somehow I am 100% sure that my instinct was what split me in the moment of stress.
So my instinct saved me...
But...
Why the fuck do you believe these two?
"Pff~ and who did you want?" smirked John "Winnie the Pooh?"
"Lana... Rhoades"
"Damn! that was awesome kid, you certainly have good tastes there Hahaha!" John laughed.
"They're... yours... pervert"
"Hush" I whisper, then turn to Christian 2.
Although I don't feel my feelings at the moment, I fully understand that I need to fix myself quickly, I can't let my siblings suffer any more shit.
"What's going on outside?"
"Ashley... pulling... from... the... hand.... of... Dad's"
Frowning in fear, I exclaimed "Show me!"
"I... don't... know... like"
Shit...
Come on Christian think...
We instinctively divide ourselves to avoid dying
It was all because of my choice.
"If I wish to observe..."
Finished speaking, the sight came back to me, all the dark violet started to clear up, showing me clearly what's going on in the room, but still, the violet color dominates the whole environment.
I finally regained my vision, but what I saw caused me problems.
My vision was expanding and shrinking repeatedly as if it were a damn camera zooming in and out repeatedly. It got to such a point, that I could perfectly see the swollen veins in Brayan's eyes.
Focus, focus, focus.
Focus damn it.
This time it didn't work as I expected, when my sight stopped changing the 'zoom' my sight was so expanded that I could see to my sides without problems, causing me to become completely disoriented.
Come on Christian, you can't waste your damn time...
Hurrying myself, I focused my full attention towards Hailie's view, finding results after a few seconds.
"No..." I whisper, watching with a frown as Brayan seems to yell at Hailie, while she lets her little tears fall.
What the fuck is she saying?
I want to hear.
"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING YOU ANNOYING LITTLE GIRL!!!?" Brayan shouts, forcefully letting go of Hailie's hand on his.
"P-daddy *Sniff* please *Sniff* stop."
No...
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!" Brayan shouted as he watched in slow motion as his hand was lifted.
"NO!!!" We all 3 screamed at the same time, and the next second, John and Christian disappeared, as I quickly got up from the ground.
An overwhelming amount of emotions charged into my brain, but the anger was so much, it overwhelmed all rational thought.
Instinctively, I contracted my muscles and ran towards the bed, jumping onto it, then bent over slightly and violently contracted my leg muscles, causing a quick jump with my fist extended towards Brayan.
*PA!*
A loud bang was heard in the room, as Brayan's body collapsed with me on top of him, but without losing focus, I grab him by the neck and keep hitting him as he falls, over and over again.
*PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!
*Thud*
His body fell heavily on the ground, but it didn't matter, I kept punching repeatedly on his face, while in my mind all my frustrations and anger kept repeating endlessly.
*PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!*
Blow after blow rained down on Brayan, every time he raised his fist, blood followed and splattered on my clothes, mixing with my own blood that had seeped out of my nose a while back.
*PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!*
"Ch...-"
*PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!
"CHRISTI... STOP..."
*PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!* *PA!*
I don't know how long I've been punching anymore, but the pain and exhaustion began to plague me, as my eyesight slowly returned to normal, completely losing the violet tint to it.
Slowly my sight returned to its natural focus, the violet disappeared and my rationality returned, I no longer felt everything in my body, I no longer felt the blood inside me, finally, everything was back to normal.
*PA!
With one last blow, everything in me collapsed, an agonizing pain assaulted my body, my arms fell heavily downward, while my legs began to lose their gripping strength and let go, but I didn't find myself falling to the ground, instead, I found myself affirmed to warm arms.
"Christian!" A concerned whisper sounded in my ear, causing me to instantly recognize the arms around me and pull me over Brayan.
"M-mom..." I whispered with difficulty, but unable to bear the pain any longer, I passed out.
...
A few minutes ago.
"Why do I feel so bad?"
Eva whispered, holding her hand to her heart, as she walked quickly home.
Today she had officially quit her job at KFC.
After her fight with Christian, she realized that she should spend more time with her children, so, without a second thought, she quit her afternoon job.
But a few minutes ago, some incredible cravings started to grow inside Eva, causing her way home even faster than usual.
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*
Taking the cell phone from her pocket, Eva looked at the caller ID, finding an unknown number.
"Hello?"
"Eva!?"
A male voice reached her ear, confusing the eagerness in her voice.
"Who is this?"
"Eva it's David!"
What does that annoying shit want?
"How the fuck do you have my number?"
"I got it from the receptionist, it's urgent!"
Frowning and with her anxieties growing even more, Eva spoke seriously "Did something happen?"
"It's about Brayan, he went to your room and now you hear a lot of screaming, I tried to get in, but it's locked, I don't know what to do, I tried to ask for the spare key, but the receptionist said she gave it to Brayan!"
As if struck by lightning, Eva's body jerked, as her body wobbled slightly, instantly losing all color in her face.
"Eva!" shouted the voice over the phone.
"Y-yes?"
"YOU HAVE TO COME NOW!!!"
Eyes widening at the scream, Eva pocketed the cell phone and quickly ran to the motel a few blocks ahead of her.
"Goddess, please let nothing happen to them" Eva whispered worriedly, running as fast as she could towards the motel, as her eyes slowly began to redden "Anything but my children please..."