BXBX NOVEL Chapter 10: Epilogue
Chapter 10: Epilogue
Ayase Saki\'s Diary
7th of June (Sunday)
When I said that I was relieved, I really meant it.
I could tell just from meeting him then that he wasn\'t a bad person.
At the same time, he felt very considerate.
He\'s willing to put in new hot water in the bath after he\'s done with his.
I didn\'t expect him to be a student at Suisei though.
8th of June (Monday)
Asamura-kun called out to me at school.
Contrary to my expectations, Asamura-kun is a very flat and even person.
I don\'t like the idea of him just taking the rumours about me at face value, but I know that it can\'t be helped. I know what I look like to others after all.
I was angry. Yet, he accepted that I was angry.
He might be the first person I ever met who was willing to adjust to me like that.
9th of June (Tuesday)
Memo: Asamura-kun likes his fried eggs with soy sauce.
From today onward, I will be cooking food.
Asamura-kun is going out of his way to search for a high-pay part-time job for me, so I will provide him with breakfast and dinner.
He apologized for not being able to find anything, but I knew that it wouldn\'t be this easy.
Especially asking strangers for help.
If I could do that…
10th of June (Wednesday)
Urk, so embarrassing…
To think he would hear that.
I don\'t want to look lame, so I try to keep my hard work a secret.
Maaya came to visit us. She\'s as noisy as always.
The three of us played together, and laughed a lot. How long has it been since I laughed like that.
We exchanged LINE contacts.
It\'s very much like Asamura-kun to keep a scenery picture as his profile picture.
Thanks… for the umbrella.
11th of June (Thursday)
I have to pay more attention when I dry my underwear in my room, yep.
Underwear is just like every other piece of clothing. How could you be so entranced by it, Asamura-kun…
Luckily, he didn\'t try anything vile with it.
But…
He said he won\'t do anything. He admitted to having desires like that, but stated that having them and acting according to them is a different problem.
I couldn\'t agree more.
Whenever I hear his opinion, I realize that I always sympathize with it. That\'s probably why I feel so relaxed.
Asamura-kun is dangerous.
He understands me too well.
12th of June (Friday)
Asamura-kun got angry at me for the first time.
In the heat of the moment, I even told him about it. Even though I didn\'t want to remember it again. Yet, it looks like he experienced something similar to me. I didn\'t ask what exactly though.
We talked a lot, but there\'s things I couldn\'t tell him.
I was willing to sell my body…because I was scared of being indebted to Asamura-kun.
13th of June (Saturday)
At night, Asamura-kun and I ate dinner as just the two of us.
Mom and step-father went off to have dinner as the two of them.
Asamura-kun was the one who came up with it. Shows again that he is considerate even about the smallest details.
That\'s exactly why I can\'t call him \'Nii-san\'.
Once I start calling him like that, I\'ll definitely rely on him all the time.
That is one thing I cannot allow myself.
I\'m sorry, Asamura-kun.
But…whenever I call him Asamura-kun, deep inside my heart, another emotion starts to rise up, different to me calling him a big brother.
It\'s a feeling I haven\'t ever experienced, and I can\'t put a name on it either.
I only realized that I became conscious of Asamura-kun.
It makes me feel uncertain, even gloomy.
Even when I go to bed, I have trouble sleeping recently.
If I don\'t listen to calm music, in order to heal my brain cells, then my hands and feet won\'t relax. Unable to fall asleep without listening to music, how can I even hope to become independent when I\'m like this? I feel pathetic.
…Just what is this feeling, really.