性瘾者

And now that relief flooded her system, her emotions as a mother finally emerged.

The aura that she released was strong enough to push Nero down- forcing her son to kneel and bow his head to her. She didn’t want to hurt her Baby Pumpkin since she knew that violence was never the solution. But she couldn’t stop her anger that took the form of her aura.

“Nero de Moonasterio, who told you that you can leave the palace without my permission?” Mona asked coldly. “You know how dangerous the situation was earlier. If you really needed to leave, you should have waited for me. I would have gone with you. Do you know how worried I was when I returned to the bedroom and I didn’t find you there?”

“I’m sorry, Mother,” Nero said in a clear yet cold voice. “I’m sorry, but from now on, I have to cut you off from my life.”

She was so shocked to hear that from her son that the aura crushing Nero disappeared right away.

But it was quickly replaced by Nikolai’s heavy aura, so their son remained kneeling.

.....

“Nero de Moonasterio, I can overlook your rudeness to me, but I won’t tolerate you talking that way to your mother,” Nikolai said sternly. “What is your problem?”

“I must make the crows believe that I’m the perfect de Moonasterion Crown Prince that they want and need,” her son explained. This time, she could tell that Nero was kneeling and bowing voluntarily. “The crows hate Mother for being a Roseheart, so I must act like I don’t care about Mother. That I’m denying my Roseheart Blood, too.”

“Must you really go that far, Nero?” Nikolai asked, frowning. “You’re hurting your mother’s feelings. Do you think gaining the crows’ “approval” at the expense of your mother’s feelings is worth it?”

Mona couldn’t refute what Nikolai was saying.

Her heart broke when Nero said he was cutting her off of his life. She waited more than ten years to be with her children. So hearing that her son didn’t want to have anything to do with her, even though it was only an act, was devastating.

“I must do this to protect the family that Neoma treasures,” Nero said in a slightly cracked voice. “Only I can do this, so I need to be perfect.”

Ah.

[Nero’s shoulders are shaking.]

Nikolai, who also noticed that Nero’s little frame was trembling, looked shocked.

Hearing those sad words in Nero’s broken voice broke her heart again. But this time, for an entirely different reason. She felt the weight of the burden on Nero’s little shoulders when he said he must do what he needed to do to protect their family because only he could do it.

Her babies were only thirteen-year-old kids and yet, both children already carried a burden that not even adults could carry on their own.

And she couldn’t even lift those burdens for her children.

After that realization hit her, her hurt feelings suddenly felt trivial.

[As Nero and Neoma’s mother, I must do everything I can to lighten the burdens they carry. My feelings don’t matter if it’s for my children. If I can’t free them from their duties, then I should at least not get in their way.]

Mona knelt in front of Nero, then she gently cupped his wet face between her hands. “I understand, Nero,” she said softly. “Then please do what you must. Your father and I will do our parts too, in order to lighten your burden. Don’t worry about us, don’t worry about my feelings. Just focus on your goal.”

Nero slowly raised his head to face her properly.

[Ah, he’s really crying.]

Big, fat tears rolled down Nero’s cheeks quietly, uncontrollably.

[It looks like he doesn’t realize that he’s crying, though. His face remains blank even though his tears are falling nonstop.]

Even so, seeing her son cry caused her to break into tears, too. Why did it have to be her children? What did her family owe to the gods for them to carry the burden of saving the world from the forces that wanted it gone?

[Nero and Neoma didn’t have the chance to grow up as normal children...]

“Mother, I said mean things about you behind your back earlier,” Nero confessed in a hoarse voice, his tears still wouldn’t stop falling quietly. “And I will continue doing so. I will tell the world that I don’t care about you. I will deny you every chance I have to. I will always have to pretend that I don’t have any attachment to you.”

It still hurt to hear those words from Nero, but not as painful as it did earlier.

Because now, she could see that cutting her off from his life was just as painful for her poor son. After all, in the end, Nero was still a child- a child that needed his family’s love and support.

“Mother, I’m used to not having a mother because I grew up without one – both in the first timeline and here,” Nero said, his voice trembling along with his small frame. “And unlike Neoma, I didn’t really care when you returned to us. I thought nothing will change since I only need Neoma. That stands true even at this moment. But...” He clutched his chest tight. “But why does it hurt here when I told Calyx Dalton that I do not care about you?”

Mona covered her mouth with her hands when she let out a sob.

[Oh, Nero...]

Just how much did her son suppress his emotions for him not to realize his own feelings?

“I’ve only spent a few weeks with Mother, but why does speaking rudely about you hurt me here so much?” he said, clutching his chest tighter. “I thought I really don’t care about Mother, but why do I feel upset that I had to ACT that way in front of other people?”

She sobbed harder while wiping the tears off of Nero’s cheeks, but it was useless.

After all, her son’s eyes already turned into waterfalls.

“Nero, I don’t want to sound like I’m dictating your feelings...” Mona said carefully while wiping off the tears from her face with her hands. “But it sounds like you’ve started caring about me without you knowing.”

Nero looked surprised by what she said, then he let out a hollow laugh. “Surprisingly, I’m not a monster.”

Hearing that from her thirteen-year-old son made her upset.

She didn’t care, even if he had the memories of his past life that made him more mature than children his age. For her, Nero would always be her baby.

“Nero, don’t say that about yourself,” Mona said while shaking her head. “You’re not a monster.”

“But I have to be one,” Nero insisted in a whisper. “I have to throw away my useless feelings and my humanity so Neoma wouldn’t have to give up hers.”

She took a deep breath or else she would die from bottling up all the feelings rising in her chest while listening to her son’s painful resolve. “Nero, you also don’t have to sacrifice your feelings and humanity...”

“Mother, your love and care... they don’t feel bad, though. So I guess I already failed with throwing away my feelings,” Nero said, then he let out a shallow laugh again. “Did it make you cringe?”

She shook her head. “No, tell me more about your feelings, son.”

On a different occasion, she would have teased her son for being ‘sappy.’ But this was the first time he opened up to her, so she took everything he said to her heart.

And the most painful part?

[I have a feeling that this also might be the last time Nero would open up his heart to me- or to anyone else, for that matter.]

“Mother, Father, please don’t hate me,” Nero begged them while looking back and forth between her and Nikolai. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, and I might deny this once I returned to my senses, but please don’t hate me.”

“Of course, we won’t hate you,” Mona said, crying hard. Then she hugged Nero tight. “Even if you say the meanest things about me, I won’t hate you. It’s not something that you should beg us for. No matter what you do, we will still love and accept you.” She rubbed her son’s back. “You don’t even have to do this in the first place, baby.”

Nikolai dropped to his knees to both Mona and Nero. “You shouldn’t have to carry this kind of burden- both you and Neoma,” he whispered. “I’m sorry that Mona and I aren’t strong enough to protect the two of you from the world.”

“Mother, Father, Neoma and I aren’t carrying this burden for the world,” Nero said in a calm voice now, his body finally stopped trembling. However, the emotions in his voice were still strong as he spoke. “We’re doing this for our own sake. I want to protect Neoma, and Neoma wants to protect our family.”

Mona and Nikolai both held Nero in their arms in silence until their son finally calmed down. She didn’t know how long they were in that position, but she wished it was longer. After all, she knew that once their Baby Pumpkin left the room, he would return to his usual cold persona.

Just like what she feared, Nero had already returned to his usual emotionless self when he pulled away from their embrace.

[I wish Nero could act like a child from time to time.]

“Mother, Father, I have to clear one thing first,” Nero said while wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. He had a deadpan look on his face again as if he didn’t sob just a few minutes ago. “Neoma is still my top priority, and she always will be.”

She only smiled- both she and Nikolai were no longer surprised.

[Nero won’t be Nero if he doesn’t put Neoma at the top of his priority.]

And they couldn’t blame their son for it.

[Nikolai neglected Nero and Neoma before, so Neoma practically raised Nero. The fact that I abandoned Nero to cross over to the other world with Neoma doesn’t make me a better parent, though. So, Nikolai and I understood why Nero is this attached to Neoma.]

“But even if Neoma is my top priority, it doesn’t mean Mother and Father aren’t on the list.”

Mona smiled warmly.

[That’s a roundabout way to say that you like us, Nero.]

Although Nero had a poker face and his voice sounded indifferent, the little blush on his cheeks (plus the redness in his ears) let them know that he was actually feeling shy. He must be acting that way in order to hide his embarrassment.

“And I asked you not to hate me because I don’t want Neoma to hate me, too,” Nero said. This time, his entire face turned red. Even his neck. Moreover, he couldn’t even look them in the eye because he was probably embarrassed. “Don’t get me wrong.”

This time, Mona had to bite her lower lip to stop herself from grinning.

Because of Nero acting awkwardly to hide his embarrassment, the heavy ambiance earlier suddenly became light. Even Nikolai whose face was full of guilt a few moments ago, had lightened up already.

“Moreover, I apologized in advance because I don’t want to look like a person with no conscience to Neoma,” Nero continued with his awkward and defensive explanation. “Since I’m Neoma’s older brother, I thought I should act like a decent person. At least, within our family.”

Wow.

Mona didn’t know a person could turn so red until she saw her son blushing that hard.

[Well, Nikolai and my children are paler than a sheet of paper. So when they turn red, they turn reaaally red.]

“Nero, it’s alright,” Nikolai said in a light, playful voice. Then he put a hand on their son’s shoulder. “Your Mother and I already know that you’re embarrassed to death.”

Nero glared at Nikolai who just grinned and raised his hands in surrender.

Mona smiled while watching Nikolai and their son’s awkward yet somehow arm interaction.

[I don’t expect Nikolai and Nero to have a normal father-and-son relationship, but this isn’t so bad either.]

Even Nikolai’s father-and-daughter relationship with Neoma was strange because Neoma called him ‘Papa Boss’ as if she was his employer.

Wait?

.....

Mona’s smile slowly faded when the realization hit her.

Oh.

[Is Nikolai the problem?]

“I’m going back to my palace to prepare for my next move,” Nero said indifferently, then he stood up- still avoiding their gaze. “Have a good rest, Mother and Father.”

“Nero,” Mona stopped her son while Nikolai was helping her stand. “Wait.”

Thankfully, their Baby Pumpkin listened.

He turned around and faced them (although his eyes were still wandering around) while waiting intently for what she wanted to say.

[Look at this awkward, cutie Pumpkin.]

Mona smiled at her son warmly, even though he wasn’t looking at her. “Nero, I love you,” she said softly. “Nikolai and I love you and Neoma so much.”

This time, Nikolai (who had his arm wrapped around her shoulders) looked awkward, too. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say that he loved their children as well. But then, his face turned red. Then he closed his mouth and fell silent for a moment before he spoke again. “I feel the same as your mother.”

Pfft.

[Now I know where Nero got his awkwardness from.]

Come to think of it, Neoma- despite her outspokenness on other matters- was actually wasn’t vocal about her feelings, too. Their Baby Muffin also looked so awkward the time she said that she loved them.

Their Baby Pumpkin cleared his throat, interrupting her thoughts.

“I...” Nero blushed a deeper shade of red, then he turned his back on them as he bolted out of the room while giving his awkward response. “I don’t hate Mother, and I hate Father less now.”

And just like that, their Baby Pumpkin ran away.

Mona and Nikolai turned to each other, then they smiled at each other.

But those smiles only lasted for a few seconds. After that, she had to bear the bad news to Nikolai- the news about Kyle Sprouse’s betrayal.

***

Nero, who had just arrived in his bedroom, rolled his eyes at Neoma’s teasing.

He could hear his twin sister’s voice from the stud earring in his right ear. The other pair was in Neoma’s possession, of course. Obviously, the earrings were their exclusive communication device.

And yes, their communication device was activated while he was talking to their parents. He did that on purpose because he thought it was faster than him explaining his plan to her.

“I’m still alive,” Nero said, then he plopped down on the bed. “Barely.”

“Shut up, Muffin.”

He was rewarded by his twin sister’s precious laugh.

Ah, now he missed her even more.

Their father already explained that Neoma would stay on the secret base that her “children” had built for her. Although he knew that it was for the best, he still missed his twin sister.

Neoma said softly.

He closed his eyes, savoring the gentle sound of Neoma’s caring voice.

“If you feel sorry for me, then hurry and come home,” he said, whining a little. He was allowed to do at least that, right? “You’re still the royal princess of the empire, Neoma.”

“Yeah, leave that to me,” he said, then he opened his eyes. “A rip-off version like Calyx Dalton can’t win against the originals like us, anyway.”

He just chuckled.

Neoma praised him genuinely.

He couldn’t give Neoma a proper answer. After all, there was a reason why he allowed himself to crumble and be vulnerable in front of their parents earlier. His twin sister wouldn’t like his reason, so he just kept quiet.

[This will be the last time I’ll cry,] Nero promised himself. [Tomorrow, I’ll be the perfect Crown Prince.]

***

[“NEOMA, what would you do if you need to be cruel to our parents? Will you keep it a secret from them to make your act look natural? Or will you confess it to them in advance so they wouldn’t get hurt by your actions?”]

[“Of course, I’ll choose the latter. Misunderstandings like that would only tear our family apart. If you have to break our family apart for your mission, then abort it as early as now. Trust me, Nero- it’s not worth it.”]

Neoma was wondering why Nero asked her that question earlier through a communication device- a device with a connecting line exclusive to the two of them.

She finally got her answer while listening to Nero’s conversation with their parents.

Yes, Nero called her, but he didn’t hang up. It was clear that he wanted her to listen to the conversation because it would be faster than him explaining his plan to her. And it worked. She understood everything well by listening silently.

[I seriously didn’t expect Nero to cry.]

So, here she was now.

Lying down on the sunlounger (minus the umbrella), crying her eyes out in silence while staring at the starry night.

She actually felt guilty because she thought Nero wasn’t capable of such emotions.

When Nero said that, her conscience pricked her heart.

[I created this image of Nero in my head as someone cold and detached. But I forgot that even though he has some memories of his first life, he’s still a child. Moreover, Papa Boss has changed and Mama Boss has been kind to us since the day she returned to our lives. What made me think that Nero wouldn’t get attached to our parents?]

Perhaps it was her arrogance.

She believed that she was the only person that Nero was capable of loving.

Hearing his heartfelt conversation with their parents was a humbling experience.

[Come to think of it, I should have expected that Nero was more prone to breaking down than me. He’s the one who feels strong emotions like an obsession, after all. But it’s not a bad thing. I’d actually love it more if he becomes more expressive.]

After all, she didn’t want Nero to end up like the emotionless psychopath that he was in the first timeline.

[Still, hearing my baby brother cry like that...]

“As expected, I can’t retire yet. I have to get back to work and help Nero win the political power struggle in the palace. As his noona, I have to support him,” Neoma whispered to herself, then she stood up and looked at the starry night sky while raising her fists. “Bring it on, world! I’m Neoma- I’m always ready!”

She gasped aloud when an unfamiliar female voice entered her mind abruptly.

Then she stumbled to the floor and fell on her butt while covering her ears with her hands. And it hurt because the tiled floor on the poolside was solid.

[Who the fuck?]

Why the hell was her mind so easy to infiltrate, anyway?

the female voice speaking in her mind said.

The Cosmic Tree?

Neoma knitted her eyebrows. “Mama Boss’s ‘Mother Tree?\'”

***

NOTE: Sorry, I failed the WIN-WIN after the promise I made. There was an emergency. It’s kinda embarrassing, though. Haha!

Actually, I saw my income for Royal Secret this month. I panicked because it was the lowest that I’ve ever received ever since I began writing RS. As you know, I gave up my day job in order to continue writing here. But the income I received this month isn’t sustainable (my mother is sick, and the meds are expensive). Plus, my brother is about to graduate so there’s an additional bill to pay for.

So, I ended up picking up a project again. Since I picked up a project with such short notice, I also had to finish it as quickly as I could. Thus, I’ve been busy these days. (The updates for my other on-going stories were already written weeks ago).

I’m really sorry for failing WIN-WIN this month, and for not being able to update these past few days.

I need to work to survive. But I’d really like to be able to finish my stories here, so please support me by unlocking the chapters if you can. Thank you. Hehe.

Once I finish my project, I will post more.

Let’s hope that my situation gets better next month. I’ll try my best to fulfill my promise of two updates daily for August.

Thank you for waiting.