女神归来的夏天

Chapter 126: The 14000 Mile Journey III

I look at my sister as we sit around the campfire. I have to take what she said seriously. When I think about it she is completely right about me being a control freak and a manipulator, and I have been blind to it. I don\'t want them to ever figure out what happened to the old future us, if they do it could destroy their psyches. "I\'m sorry Hailey, I didn\'t know I looked like that in your eyes. Its just something I developed overtime to protect myself, from pretty much everything human. I use it to keep people at a distance and many away. You wont believe me when I say this Hailey, but I\'ve seen and done shit you wouldn\'t believe. I\'d be lying if I didn\'t know I was twisted in ways, some might even consider me a monster." All I can really do is hope that she learns that I cant change overnight. My head is a dangerous place, and I hate spending a lot of time thinking about the old.

I keep staring at her waiting for her reaction, she looks me in the eyes. She wavers and looks away. "I\'m sorry Cera... I shouldn\'t have said that. I didn\'t even consider what changed you, its like you woke up one day and carried a lifetime of bad things in your eyes. You still acted like the same Cera, and you have always been this way. Its when Ancients World came into your life, when this place became a thing you really morphed. I have no room to talk really, what can the failure of a big sister say." I wonder if my other family members seen this. Hailey has been someone who can see me clearly for my good and bad. My parents are to proud of me to see what Hailey does, so their perspective is warped. I don\'t think she should say that about herself.

I get up and walk over to her. I sit next to her as she cries into her knees as she hugs them. "There is something you need to know Hailey. In the end, when its all said in done. Everyone is a failure." She looks up at me with red puffy eyes. She is struggling with Many things. Stuff I couldn\'t hope to understand, I don\'t know what\'s in some ones heart or mind. "Every person has regrets, sorrow, pain. Its not exclusive to certain people Hailey, the richest and most successful people from earth all have problems. Failure is okay, and you should know that everyone you think is successful was at the same point like you. Either in a relationship, a business, or others things. You aren\'t supposed to be perfect." I see her tears fall heavy after my words.

I cant say they are wise or the answer to her problems, because I don\'t know. If I think I\'m a sage with infinite wisdom and knowledge then I\'m the biggest fool. I can only speak about what I experienced, and I\'ve failed so much. If I held onto it as hard as Hailey I would\'ve killed myself long ago. "What happened to you Cera... You can tell me anything and I wont speak about it with anyone. I\'m not a gossip girl. You can share your pain with the people that love you, that\'s one of the reasons they are there. I can only hope one day you are comfortable enough to tell me what really happened to you. Even with a divine class you still know way to much." I chuckle and wrap my arm around her. I give her a one armed hug. I have things to learn from her to, and she is right.

I could open up and let my family in, but even if its right its not what I want. Another characteristic I hate about myself is the selfishness. I look into the fire and think about everything that Hailey has said. I\'m not as great as my parents see me as, and I\'m hoping I can destroy that image for them. Living with that image isn\'t something I can allow. "The truth behind me isn\'t something I can explain to you, not until you are strong enough to protect my truth. The things I\'m hiding will change everything more then they already have. Even after all this shit there is still stuff that would blow your mind. Don\'t mess with things you don\'t understand, I made that mistake too many times." A poor mans poet, but I\'m a poor man in heart. Quiet pretentious of me to say that\'s poetic. Another quality. Narcissism.

I stand up and make my way into the tent and lay down on the furs and blankets. I stare up at the ceiling of the tent and sigh. I\'m a totally fucked up person, and I didn\'t want to acknowledge that. Hailey helped me and now I\'m faced with this mirror, showing my true self. A thief who stole someone else\'s life and destiny. I hear steps approach the tent and I see my sister walk in. I\'m not sure if she still has anything to talk about this, but I\'m going to enjoy the silence while I can. She lays down next to me and stares up to the same spot I am. "You sure do stink... You need a shower little bro." I chuckle and roll my eyes. I\'m sure she is becoming rancid herself, but that isn\'t something I should talk about.

I close my eyes and relax. My mind is heavy, my body isn\'t though. There are many things that trouble me, and many things that trouble my sister. Two peas in a pod us, we really are brother and sister. "I cant wait till I can scrub all this dirt and sweat off. I hope that I can at least bathe in a stream or something, just to get the worse of it off. I hope tomorrow we\'ll finally come across some water. I\'d hate to have to drink my own pee." I give my honest response, and I begin to try and sleep. This might be the first goodnight of sleep I\'ll get. I feel my sister roll on her side and turn her back to me. I relax my mind and empty all thoughts, I see and think nothing. The silence and never ending infinity relaxes my mind. The solitude in my mind bring me sleep and I rest the best since coming here. As everyone is sleeping in Ancients World others are beginning their work. One of these night owls is Wilted Rose.

The reports that we have found our cities teleporter are true. What makes this complicated is the things we need to fix it. They are really obscure and difficult things to get, most I\'ve never heard or seen. On the very bright side we are one step closer to getting back. I\'ve even found some of my guild members, in a guild of millions \'some\' would be considered a little over a thousand. The players are motivated to start grinding for the things we need. We have an announcement scheduled for tomorrow and all the players will hear the things we need to collect. They are expected to write them down in their personal journals. I stand up from my desk and make my way out of my room. I want to start as soon as possible, and with everyone working together we\'ll be able to find the less obscure ones in a couple days.

My city has a higher population, and I hope that smaller cities aren\'t as hard as ours. If they are its going to take much more time. I make my way onto the street and begin to walk, I look up at the stars and enjoy them. I never thought I\'d see an unpolluted sky, and I never seen such a beautiful night. Stars and Galaxies are everywhere, and it makes me feel so small. Nothing can make you feel more insignificant they the size of a universe. I bring my attention back to the road and see that other players are also doing work. The people who prefer the night are coming out, and with people working around the clock this is a sign of great potential. Out of all the people that could be leaders in this city, I\'m glad that I don\'t have to take a public stand. While I\'m a leader, I\'m not the one who talks and communicates with the masses.

There is another big guild in my city and its leader has decided to take the spotlight. More power to him for that, but I don\'t want that. I can get more done if I\'m not being slowed down with questions and scared players. The ones who are to scared to help will eventually get up. Many of the problems that I\'ve come across is others feeding on their fellow players. PKers are becoming a huge problem, and I don\'t have a clue on how to stop them. The are clever in their guerilla tactics, and they strike hard and fast. Using the environment for their ambushes, quiet ingenious really. Whoever is leading them sure knows what they are doing, and I want them gone. With so many players dying and going through the painful resurrection process they don\'t want to leave the safety of their holes. Hiding in every crack and crevice like rats. They are going to be something I\'ll have to deal with eventually.