BXBX NOVEL Chapter 283 Knowing Oneself Better
"Master, are you all right?" Teanosvera asks calmly, hiding his fear from me.
"…what have I done?"
"You defeated everyone who came at you. It is that simple." Teanosvera chuckles but I can\'t sense humor in his laugh.
"Luxia." I slowly look at her. She is keeping her distance from me and it hurts me slightly. "Did I hurt you?"
"Yes, but you didn\'t harm me," she answers neutrally. "You shouldn\'t have done what you did, Layland. There is another way for you to get out of the situation—I could do something about it."
"But—"
"You didn\'t give me the chance to say anything. It has always been like this. You always fight alone. Despite having the friends that you didn\'t have before, you are still alone, Layland. You refuse to fight together."
Frowning lightly, I am about to retort when I realize that I have always been indeed fighting on my own. Even whenever I am with the girls. I don\'t give them tasks so they can grow and learn. That\'s part of the reason but not the main reason. I give them tasks to keep them away from me, so they won\'t disturb my fight.
I could have fought alongside them but I don\'t. Of course, it is better for them since they are safer being not involved in my fight but that is not more than justification. Even at times when I don\'t have to keep them away, I still do. I thought I was protecting them by doing that but I have realized that I just want them to not help me.
"I am strong; therefore, I should fight alone." Without me realizing it, I have developed this toxic mindset. I will feel weak when someone helps me in my fight. I have amazing partners like Genelos, Luxia, and Teanosvera but I rarely ask them for help. I don\'t want to feel weak, so I always refrain from asking them to make my life easier.
In retrospect, it was a very stupid thing to do. Teanosvera\'s capability might get exposed but I would have done a lot of amazing things had I relied on him more.
This is confusing me. Is it wrong to fight alone? What is the difference between pushing everyone away and being an independent individual? When should I rely on others? What makes being dependent on others and asking for their help different?
"Hey," Luxia calls, awakening me from my thought. "You are thinking too much. You know the answer already. You have to let us fight alongside you. Let us become your aide, not the tools that you won\'t take out until you have no other choice but to use them."
Luxia\'s hand is between my temple but I can\'t feel her touch. This is the moment when I realize I still have my mask on. Willing it to open, the mask splits, comes down my neck as it shrinks down, and then morphs into a necklace. Only then can I feel Luxia\'s touch.
"I am sorry. I shouldn\'t have lost control."
"You should say that to Teanosvera. Because of protecting me, he has to sustain those injuries."
In other words, instead of focusing solely on Barnabas, I also tried to kill Luxia.
Lowering my head apologetically at Teanosvera, I earn a panicked \'Don\'t mind it\' from him. It would have been better if it could be taken at face value but he is being sincere about it. My mouth tastes more bitter because of it. I am sure he could have hurt me with his power but he only held me back. What a loyal partner I have.
"I will like to hear what happened here in detail later," I say, shaking off my thought. "I will deal with these two love birds first."
Nodding her head, instead of getting on my head as she has always done, Luxia flies at Teanosvera. My heart tightens as I think that she considers me a loose cannon now, but I am immediately proven wrong when I see her treat Teanosvera.
Embarrassingly heaving a sigh of relief, I turn my attention to Brianna who has bawled her eyes out. Her eyes are red and puffy. Tear stains decorate her cheeks, adding the final touch to her miserable look. Her emotional state is a mess, probably because of Barnabas. She is hurt mentally and physically.
"What do you want?" comes a hoarse voice out of her mouth. "You have already taken everything away from me. What else do you want!?"
The sheer hatred I can feel in her tone surprises me slightly. "Have I managed to wound your heart? I didn\'t expect you to speak like that to me."
"I would have been crazy if I didn\'t hate the person who targets my life."
"That is a valid reason." I smile.
I initially thought Brianna didn\'t dare to hate me because everything that I had done was something that was caused by what she did to me. It was ridiculous to think someone like her had the decency to feel that way but that was the case until today.
Previously, I could only feel fear and wariness from Brianna. Today, her fear is gone, replaced by the hatred that I can only sense after what I did to Barnabas. Brianna is a heartless bitch. Her friend\'s death didn\'t give her sorrow. Seeing how she reacts toward what I have done to Barnabas, I can surely say that Barnabas is the true love of her life.
"How does it feel to have your heart shattered by someone you used to be close with?" I ask as I lift Barnabas to her eye level.
"B…Bri…Brianna…" the Grand Paladin groans out.
"Barnabas! Stay with me! Help will come in no time," Brianna exclaims in panic. Pain is evident in her eyes.
"How sweet."
Smirking, I channel my Demonic Mana into Barnabas\' head. As Brianna widens her eyes in horror, Barnabas wails in agony. Two weeks ago, I perfected my Healing Art. It doesn\'t work like a Healing Spell because my Demonic Mana is the most chaotic form of Mana, but it does something interesting. I haven\'t tested it on people; therefore, I test it on Barnabas.
His head bloats as if it is about to explode. After twelve seconds, it returns to its original size. Blood is profusely streaming out of his eyes; but his injuries have healed, albeit looking sickly.
"What have you done to me!?" Barnabas shouts vigorously.
"Damn, fiery, aren\'t you?" I remark in amusement. "I can\'t remember what I did to you but your head must have suffered the most damage."
Putting Barnabas on his knees, I use Earth Magic to lock his body in place. He is as good as a spineless doll with all of his bones shattered, so I have to do it if I want him to watch what I am about to do. I then walk to Brianna and rip her clothes completely. Now, her body is fully exposed for the world to see.
I hum slightly as I look at her figure up and down. I guess I am not the only one who has grown—she looks more mature than she did back when I still slept with her.
Glancing at Rexorem that is a few feet away from me, I shake my head faintly. "Nah, it would be overkill. I will just use my dagger."
Taking out the dagger that Valeria made for me, I fiddle with it for a few seconds. Brianna\'s eyes darken, meanwhile, Barnabas shouts at me hysterically. Ignoring how the two react, I do my job. Putting my sushi-making skill to good use, I skin Brianna\'s stomach.
Barnabas watches in horror and Brianna wails in agony. I can see Luxia and Teanosvera glancing at me from the corner of my eyes. They don\'t have any intention to stop me but I can tell they are feeling bitter. They would rather not see me do what I am doing.
When I am done skinning Brianna\'s abdomen, I throw the skin at Barnabas, causing the guy to profusely swear at me. Ignoring him, I cast my twisted version of the Healing Spell on Brianna. She screams louder than before, repeating how hot the fire burning her abdomen. Twenty seconds pass, she stops screaming and her skin has returned.
My Healing Spell has done its job. It is not perfect—her skin looks like a dead person\'s—but the injury has completely gone. Skinning her again, I find it interesting that the new skin is a lot harder than the old one. Though, it is easier to skin.
I throw the skin at Barnabas when I am done and watch in amusement as he cries tears of blood. It would have remained an expression if it was not for my brilliant Healing Spell.
After some time, Brianna lost her spirit to wail, so I start a conversation. "Will you tell me why you did that to me? Who in their right mind would fuck an incel just to fuck with someone they love?"
"I just love to fuck—that is all," she quips.
"Is that so?" I quirk an eyebrow. "Well, you do behave like a nymphomaniac. I bet I turn you on by doing this."
Hearing my remark, Brianna immediately panics. She stutters as she tells me that she was joking but she soon gives up the moment she realizes I am not listening.
I ask Luxia to control her roots and spread Brianna\'s legs for me. Luxia looks at me questioningly but does what I asked regardless.
"No, no, no…. What are you doing, Demon!?"
"Whoa, chill, dude. I won\'t fuck your girl. Too many dicks have entered already. I will only make my dick suffer by making it enter such a worn-out place."
Waving my hand lightly, I put my gaze on Brianna\'s crotch. I hum for a few seconds before ordering Luxia to control the roots to explore Brianna\'s inside. The scene looks like a certain type of anime but it is not hot. I believe anyone will cringe if they see how the roots make Brianna bleed down there.
Taking a step back, I sit beside Barnabas. I watch the roots brutally violate Brianna in silence, meanwhile, Barnabas drains all of his blood by crying it out.