BXBX NOVEL Chapter 1135: What Is There Left in My Life…?
Chapter 1135: What Is There Left in My Life...?
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
When the bald crane’s piercing scream reverberated in the air, a huge storm of an unprecedented magnitude rose in Su Ming’s heart. He was in a state of disbelief, unable to believe it. In fact, in the depths of his heart, he refused to believe it.
He did not want to believe that his physical body... the physical body he had always believed belonged to him... was just a diabolical corpse that someone had created from a billion corpses!
He did not want to believe that Su Xuan Yi knew about this. He did not want to believe... that his real physical body was in such a state!
This completely overturned all the memories Su Ming had and flipped all of his knowledge over its head. Even with Su Ming’s composure and intelligence, he fell into a daze at that instant.
He was full of anguish that he had never experienced before. His heart ached with grief and indescribable pain. He felt as if his heart had been dug out, as if everything that he knew had been overturned at that instant.
Ever since he had learned that he was just a soul and that his real physical body was in the land of Immortals, he had treated his desire to retrieve his physical body as the greatest desire in his life.
Yet at that moment... when he was so close to his real physical body, much closer than ever before in his life, the bald crane’s words hit him like a sledgehammer. His heart trembled, and he felt... like his soul and Nascent Divinity were about to be torn apart...
“Why... Why?” Su Ming mumbled.
“Hurry up and leave! Damn it! Hurry up and leave that accursed body! IT isn’t your body! It’s a huge trap someone had laid down! HURRY UP AND LEAVE!!” the bald crane shrieked. In its voice was unprecedented anxiety and hysteria.
However, Su Ming did not seem to have heard its words. He did not leave, because he did not believe any of it. He simply refused to believe that his real physical body could be a lie. The truth that Dark Mountain was a lie had already dealt an incredibly huge blow to him, but as time passed, the wound had slowly recovered, but now...
‘If even my real physical body is fake, is there anything real in this world is? Dark Mountain was fake, Bai Ling’s love was fake, my childhood friends were all fake... What is real... What is real?!’
Su Ming’s Nascent Divinity trembled. He could not believe in anything. He... could not bear such a truth. It could be considered to be the strongest blow against him, one that even surpassed what he’d felt when he found out about the Dark Mountain!
However, he had clearly felt the unfamiliar sensation hidden underneath the familiar feeling of his real physical body. It felt like it had been intentionally created and had changed his memories. Because of it, Su Ming had always believed that it was his physical body... He hadn’t doubted the truth of it even once!
‘Why... just what is the reason behind all of this?!’
Su Ming’s Nascent Divinity raged. Without caring about the piercing, hysterical warnings from the bald crane, he had his divine sense fuse into his real physical body without regard for anything else. He wanted to find an answer, to find something that would change what he’d just realized so that he would could relax knowing that nothing was a lie and it was indeed his physical body.
Or rather, Su Ming just wanted to find something which would allow him to lie to himself and willingly shroud himself in the deceit.
However, when Su Ming sent his divine sense inside and touched the core of the physical body, ripples he could not suppress swiftly rose in his divine sense... because he could clearly sense that unfamiliarity hidden under the familiar feeling.
Eventually, Su Ming even found the source which had brought about the familiar feeling. It came from a drop of blood at the core of the physical body. It generated a presence which filled the physical body and made Su Ming feel familiarity towards it.
Su Ming laughed brokenly. With his intelligence, there was no way he would not understand what was going on, but the answer was too brutal, so brutal that even Su Ming could not bear it. At that moment... an exhaustion so great that he could not describe it with words filled his heart. He felt like his heart had already died.
His life had tired him out, but that was not all. All the falsehoods had pushed his exhaustion to its peak a long time ago. If it was not because of his hope for his mother, Su Xuan Yi, whom he did not acknowledge but who still remained in his heart, and having to retrieve his physical body, he... would have long ago closed his eyes and went to sleep.
At that instant though, the subversion of his knowledge, the crushing of his dreams, and all of the falsehoods caused Su Ming to feel as if he had begun crying in his anguish. He was weeping despite not having a physical body. It was his Nascent Divinity and soul crying.
The sadness hidden in his soul came from all the pressure he’d suffered in the course of his life. At that moment, Su Ming felt like the most miserable person in the universe, because it felt like there was no longer a hint of truth in his life.
Deep confusion, anguish, and sorrow turned into self-deprecation. As he ridiculed himself and laughed at his choices, he felt his life fading away while depression welled inside him. The flames of his life became increasingly dimmer.
For the first time in his life, he chose to run away... He chose to close his eyes... and acknowledge his destiny.
He accepted it. If all of it was fake, then he would accept it. Once he did so, he could afford not to be so tired. He could put an end to his laughable life.
Su Ming... acknowledged his destiny.
Even if he had extraordinary power, even if he had incredible willpower, and even if he had experienced many things that normal people would not survive through, he was still alone. In the end, he was a normal person, a person who could get sad and hurt.
“Damn it! Su Ming, do you actually want to die?! Are you going to accept dying here so willingly?! Are you going to give up on Yu Xuan and even stop searching for your senior brothers just like that?! Are you going to accept all of it so willingly??!!”
There was an unprecedented anxiety and grief in the bald crane’s voice. It had traveled with Su Ming all along the way and had conquered all sorts of trials and hardships by his side, even living through numerous dangers with him. Because of that, it could clearly sense Su Ming’s intent to die.
He was not someone walking towards death due to injury, but because of the death of the soul. There was a thick aura of death spreading out from a person’s entire body when he no longer had any desire towards life.
His intent to die terrified the bald crane. It almost made it remember the person who had been incredibly important to it in its earlier life. In the end, her wish for death had filled her whole body, and the bald crane could only watch helplessly as she gradually lost consciousness, then slowly... turned into a statue.
Like that, she ended her life, removed all signs of her life in the world, and extinguished... the brand of her life.
“Su Ming, is this worth it?! Is it worth it?! If you want to die, then you should go fight till you die against your enemies, and I would die along with you in battle!
“But how do you dare to give up on your life and everything else in this place?! Have you forgotten about Yu Xuan?!”
Su Ming’s gradually fading life seemed to throb a little at that instant.
“Without you, who will protect Yu Xuan?! Don’t you know that the damned Su Xuan Yi will continue using Yu Xuan?! Is that fine with you?! If you’re no longer around, what is she supposed to do?! I’m absolutely positive that she will die as well to be with you!!”
Su Ming’s heart started throbbing again.
“What about your third senior brother?! Have you forgotten about him?? If Hu Zi learned that you died, how sad would he be?! He’d go mad and overturn the world so that he could create a dream in which you existed!
“Because you’re his junior brother!!
“What about your second senior brother?! Have you forgotten about him?? Darn it all, Su Ming, if you died, then what would happen to your second senior brother?! He’d go mad! He’d be sad, and it’d be the worst pain he’d have to suffer in his life!!
“Because you’re his junior brother!!
“What about your eldest senior brother?! Have you forgotten about him?? He no longer has a head, so do you want him to lose his heart as well?!
“Su Ming, you damned fool! Don’t you want to know all the answers about this place?! Don’t you want to search for the person who has been manipulating your life?! You can’t die here, you coward, you bastard! You coward, you’re giving up on them, and you’re giving up on me! Y-Y-You... If you really want to die, then I will die with you!!” the bald crane screamed.
There was deep sadness in its eyes, and its words continuously traveled into Su Ming’s heart. Because of them, his heart began beating more vigorously.
And it continued... until the intent to die affecting his life was replaced by a great wave of madness and a will that hated the heavens, the earth, and everything in the universe!
“That’s right, that’s exactly it! You have to learn the truth about everything! You have to kill until everything in the universe is dyed red! Kill until you become the Paragon of Arid Triad Expanse Cosmos! Kill until you bring forth a madness that will cause Saint Defier and Dark Dawn to fear you and retreat!!
“Su Ming, you... cannot die!!”
Su Ming’s Nascent Divinity descended into pure madness at that moment. His divine sense roared as if there was a huge wave surging in him. His desire to die was replaced by madness. He had previously closed his eyes, but a will like that of rebirth made him swiftly open them
His soul also seemed to have been reborn at that moment. It seemed to have woken up... like it had gone through a metamorphosis while passing through hell!!
The waves of intense pain in Su Ming’s soul caused his madness to become even stronger. He no longer cared about the pain of his soul being torn apart. Since he had opened his eyes, he would proceed to rise to power despite all the pain.
Su Ming saw his soul shattering from the intense pain. When it did so, a scene that had been hidden inside it and was something that he was not supposed to see in his life rose before Su Ming’s eyes.
He saw a chaotic galaxy in which countless people were fighting against each in a corpse-filled battlefield. Hundreds of people exuding the presence of those in Life Realm and some even with the presence of Death Realm were attacking a middle-aged man with black hair.
He held a baby in one arm while in his other was a long blade. There were hundreds of corpses around him, and each of one was a formerly powerful warriors above Life Realm. In fact, some of them even belonged to those in Death Realm!
There was an awe-inspiring, righteous air about the middle-aged man, along with a will that screamed that he would not submit even if the entire universe collapsed. As he killed, he threw his head back and laughed, long and hard. There were numerous wounds on his body. His cultivation base was rapidly growing weaker, but his presence was filled with fevered fighting spirit!