BXBX NOVEL Chapter 167 Don't Let Yourself Become Like Me
"You can't talk like that! Pascoe!" Iva shouted with teary eyes.
"No! I will not stop! Just abort them! I don't care about them!"
Iva pulled Pascoe's shirt off and slapped him once more,
"JUST KILL THEM!"
-SLAP
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM!"
-SLAP
"IF MOM CAN LIVE WITH THEIR DEATHS, THEY BETTER BE DEAD!"
Iva's anger peaked, and she intended to slap Pascoe with all her strength,
"IVA!" Peter rushed forward and intervened, pulling Pascoe's arm away from Iva. Pascoe struggled against Peter's hand.
"HOW LONG CAN I LIVE WITH YOU IF THIS KEEPS UP?
IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME! YOU HAVE TO KILL THEM BOTH!
I KNOW MOM WILL DIE! SO PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STAY ALIVE WITH ME!
WITHOUT MOM I'LL BE LONELY!"
The tears that had been pooling in Iva's eyes began to fall down her cheeks, soaking her blanket.
For Pascoe, it was the first time he had ever seen his mother cry.
Pascoe rebelled, broke free from Peter's hand, and quickly ran out of the house crying, tears in his eyes.
"Wait! Pascoe! It's getting dark! Don't go out!" shouted Peter
"Allen! Take care of him!" said Rodion.
"O-okay!" Allen dashed out of there.
"Please Allen!" shouted Peter.
As the afternoon progressed, the daylight began to fade, and the first signs of nightfall began to appear. Amidst the fading light, a flurry of snowflakes started to dance in the air, adding a touch to the scene. Allen was taken aback by the unexpected arrival of snow, which he had never seen before. He looked up at the sky, mesmerized by the delicate flakes falling gently from above.
"What is this white thing?!" Allen muttered to himself, his curiosity piqued as he cautiously reached out to catch a snowflake in his hand. As it landed softly on his palm, he felt the chill of the snow and was surprised by its unique texture. Without hesitation, he tasted it, feeling the cold-melting sensation on his tongue
"It's water, it doesn't seem dangerous. But if something this cold is piled on top of our heads, it might be dangerous! I need to get to Pascoe as soon as possible!"
Far ahead of Allen, Pascoe was seen running as hard as he could in the cold afternoon, tears running down his cheeks and unable to stop.
Then he stumbled, and fell.
"AAKH!"
"Pascoe!"
"Don't come here!"
Pascoe cried, his body shaking, then he tried to sit up again.
Allen knew right then that he had to say something to Pascoe. This time it had to be something true. Not something that seemed to deceive his feelings like he did before.
"Pascoe, you have to trust your mom that she'll survive. I've done everything I can, and I'll keep trying to find a way for Iva to survive, so calm down! Let's go back, she'll survive."
"How could I believe that!" Pascoe's voice trembled, he was still crying.
"You have to believe! Iva loves her babies. She said she wanted to see her baby's face, which means she would have done it!"
"How can I believe that mom would sacrifice herself for those kids. She doesn't love me at all."
"Why? That has nothing to do with it; Iva obviously loves you!"
"Where did you get that? Mom would care more about that child than me! She'd leave me with dad and give those two kids to us!"
"Iva is not that kind of woman; you should know that, right? That she loves you! She loves her children!
When you were in her womb, she must have made every effort to give birth to you! She must have been so grateful to finally give birth to you!"
"I KNOW IT! I know it, but...
But...
Now I must have grown up to be a child that she didn't love...
That's why she gave birth to a new child! She's disappointed in me!"
"For what?!"
Pascoe turned around, and looked at Allen with his swollen eyes. Pascoe's body shook with renewed sobs,
He shouted
"BECAUSE I MADE HER CRY!!!
Aaaah!!! Aaaaahaaaa HAaa!!!
She loved me! And I make her not! Now mom must hate me!"
Allen looked at crying Pascoe, and that made him hold his cry. 'I see, so that is how I look like at that time. Desperately crying because our loved one will hate us,' Allen thought.
With a trembling voice, Allen answered, "T-That's impossible."
Pascoe threw a rock at Allen,
"That's possible!"
"That's impossible!"
He kept throwing rocks at Allen.
"That's possible!!! You don't know anything! I was a bad boy! That's why mom hates me! She wants to find a replacement for me!"
-GRAB
Allen hugged Pascoe, gently but firmly enough that he couldn't move much. Pascoe's crying immediately stopped because of his hug.
"I'm sorry... I lied," Allen said.
"The truth is I don't know what was going through Iva's mind either. I also don't know if what you said was right or wrong. Maybe it's possible; maybe Iva hates you and wanted to replace you, I don't know…
I don't understand anything."
Allen had only been studying the outside world for less than a year; he didn't know what to say to someone who had been in the outside world longer than him. So he chose to tell his heart to Pascoe. He told him his true self.
"Pascoe, I also have a mother, she's a fierce mother who always hits me, but I feel warm when I'm with her. She must love me just like how I love her, that's what I thought.
But the truth is I doubt it, is it possible that I'm the only one who loves her? Could it be that she really hates me and wants to ditch me? That's why I lied to you. Because if Iva doesn't love you, maybe my mom does too.
But I kept believing that she loved me.
Then I made a mistake; I told her that I hated her. And I regret it.
Our job as children is to ensure that mom will continue loving us. If we become bad children, mom might not love us. So to regain back her affection, what do you think we should do?"
With a trembling voice, Pascoe replied, "Apologize?"
"That's right, Pascoe.
Whether Iva loves you or not is not important now. What matters is, do you love her? If you love her, you have to do something to make her not hate you.
You made Iva cry, so you only need to apologize to her now.
Apologize immediately, don't let yourself become like me.
Because,
I never had the chance to apologize to my mother until the end of her life."