六十路熟妇japanese

Chapter 268 Seeking Answers

Since Allen had left in pursuit of the fugitive, Rodion had stood in front of the Barkaley region's front gate, patiently waiting for him.

"Master," Susan called, her voice laced with concern, "it's raining quite heavily. We should return momentarily to retrieve an umbrella."

Rodion remained as immobile as a stone monument. Despite the rain gradually drenching his clothing, his gaze remained unwavering, affixed to the very road down which Allen had disappeared.

"Master!" Susan implored once more, "I'll go back and get an umbrella for you!"

As Susan departed, Rodion's watchful eyes finally discerned the familiar silhouette of Allen emerging from the distance and making his way toward the gate. A mix of relief and trepidation coursed through Rodion. He longed to run after Allen, yet a peculiar reluctance held him back, perhaps fueled by the premonition of what he already suspected – the grave actions Allen had undertaken in pursuit of the fugitive.

After a few minutes, Allen finally reached the spot where Rodion stood waiting. Both men were shrouded in silence, their heads bowed, and the only discernible sound was the rhythmic patter of raindrops.

"Master..." Allen began, his voice weighed down by the burden of what he had done. "I... I killed the fugitive," he confessed, his words heavy and strained.

As he continued, remorse etched into his every word, "The moment I came upon the lifeless bodies of Mr. Prey and his wife, I realized, to my horror, that it was my own hands that had brought about their demise. I saw my bloodied hands were killing them both."

From the beginning, Allen had been riddled with doubts, yet his apprehensions were powerless in the face of his own innate naivety.

When he found him, the fugitive was inexplicably drenched in blood, despite displaying no apparent injuries. His journey from Druwich to Barkaley, one which surely spanned a considerable distance, appeared to have left the bloodstains relatively fresh, not the traces one might expect after the passage of a full day.

It became increasingly apparent that the fugitive had left a trail of death in his wake on the road to Barkaley, and the mounting evidence that he had resorted to violence even within the city to get inside.

Allen's suspicions were undeniably present, yet he made a conscious choice to extend his trust and belief.

He wanted to help people in trouble,

He believes everyone can change,

much like Rodion's benevolence had once saved him

However, as he confronted the grim reality before him, the once-clear boundaries of his morality had blurred into shades of grey.

"Master, at that time... did you already know about it?"

Rodion was silent, and after a prolonged pause, Allen ventured to ask once more, his voice carrying a hint of apprehension.

"When master kept asking me to hand that man over to the soldiers, did you already know that things would end like this? Were you deliberately letting me make my own decision so I would regret it in the end?"

Rodion remained shrouded in silence. As if showing Allen that what he said was the truth.

Allen inched closer to Rodion, his voice tinged with rising intensity as he confronted his master,

"Did you intentionally let Mr. Prey and his wife die just to make me learn about my naivety?!"

For Allen, Rodion's every action had always seemed purposeful, guided by a deeper wisdom meant to benefit him. He clung to the belief that Rodion acted for his greater good. However, if it were indeed the case that Rodion had orchestrated the demise of those two innocent lives as a harsh lesson, the idea felt unbearably cruel. It was akin to the notion of sacrificing more lives for the sake of his own education, a concept that sat heavy with moral wrongdoing in Allen's conscience… and that was definitely wrong.

Rodion...

Instead of answering Allen's question, he asked

"What do you think is right, and what is wrong?"

The query, vast and intricate in its implications, cast a shroud of uncertainty over their conversation. Nevertheless, Rodion pressed on, seeking to further illuminate the situation's complexities. "If time were to rewind and grant you the opportunity to determine the fugitive's fate anew, what path would you choose?"

Allen's response was swift and unwavering. "I would unquestionably heed your counsel, handing him over to the soldiers, and then—"

"Then the soldier will kill him," Rodion continued. Rodion interjected, his voice measured and sombre. "In doing so, you would be sealing the fugitive's doom. As you're already aware, his crimes are so heinous that he might face instant execution at the hands of the soldiers. It's no wonder that Druwich's soldiers beheaded him on the spot, bearing his severed head as testament. In such a scenario, would you not bear the burden of blame for surrendering him to the soldiers?"

Puzzled, Allen questioned, "What are you driving at, Master?"

"Much like how you hold yourself responsible for the tragic demise of the husband and wife, would you not also carry the weight of guilt for the fugitive's death had you handed him over? You'd then find yourself pondering, 'Why did I not shelter him?' or 'Why did I not let him escape?' The cycle of self-blame would be unending.

Rodion observed Allen's face, which now bore the weight of a painful realization. "B-but if I had chosen that path, at least Mr. Prey and his wife would be alive right now! It's all because I put my trust in the fugitive," Allen confessed.

"B-but, if I chose that, at least Mr. Prey and his wife are alive now! It's all because I started to trust the fugitive!" Allen said.

His belief in the inherent goodness of humans began to crumble.

"I've taken another life.

I believed I had changed, but it's just more of the same.

The moment I saw that man smile, knowing he killed because I saved him, I lost control. I'm no different from my old self! The one consumed by hatred and anger!"

Allen paused and looked at Rodion with a sombre face.

"Master... I was even contemplating that killing might be the right thing to do."

A dark cloud of doubt settled over his heart. Allen grappled with the notion that there might have been a time when killing was justified. However, he countered his own thoughts with conviction, "Killing is not right, it cannot be right, and it cannot be justified."

...

...

...

Today,

Then at this time, once he finally finished the matter with the three noble students, on his way back to reunite with Felicia at Sharik's place, Allen finally realized Rodion's question. "What is right and what is wrong."

With every step, the weight of this question bore down upon him, and he couldn't help but murmur to himself, "Master Rodion might not know the answer either."

Allen had expressed to Rodion his belief that the fugitive deserved to be killed, but Rodion had maintained a thoughtful silence. Rodion didn't say anything about it because he didn't know the answer. The reason for his reluctance lay in the ambiguity that surrounded the notion of who, if anyone, could justifiably determine someone as deserving of death.

The concept of deserving to be killed begged the question: who possessed the authority to make such a grave decision? It was a question that vexed Allen deeply. He understood that he wasn't the one to wield that power, nor was it his role to make that determination. It became apparent that Rodion, too, grappled with the uncertainty of who should hold this authority. This was precisely why Rodion hadn't provided a ready answer – he wished for Allen to discover this profound truth independently. Through the process of seeking answers, Rodion hoped that Allen would continue to mature and grow.

As Allen walked, his mind was consumed by deep thoughts. He arrived at Sharik's house and found Felicia waiting for him inside. Allen was preoccupied with his own thoughts and had a hunch that he might be closer to the answer he sought.

"Allen! Where have you been? You need to go through your things. I can't make choices for you," Felicia exclaimed, with impatience in her voice.

"Sorry, I'll take care of it," Allen replied, his focus slowly shifting from his contemplations to the task at hand.

Felicia paused, studying Allen's face intently. "Is everything all right?" she inquired. Her words conveyed a genuine concern that warmed his heart.

"Nothing's wrong," Allen assured her, emotionless, but that somehow assured Felicia that everything was really okay.

As Allen shifted through the equipment, he engaged in conversation with Felicia. Their exchange triggered a memory from the day before he parted ways with Rodion.

"Master, I'm going to meet someone who might be able to give me the answer," Allen said.

Rodion inquired, "Who is this person?"

"She is a noble girl who once promised to show me a world where swords can be used to harm no one else and a world where kindness is met with kindness."

Rodion responded sceptically, "Hmph, sounds like a troublesome and naive girl."

"True," Allen agreed, "but... when you look into her eyes as she says that, you can't help but believe her."

Rodion conceded, "Very well. Keep taking care of that girl. If you believe she can provide the answers to the questions you seek, then you must continue to place your trust in her."

As Allen pondered this memory while conversing with Felicia, he clung to the belief that the answer he sought might indeed be found within her. He saw her naivety as a guiding light that could lead him to the answers he sought.