BXBX NOVEL Chapter 51 Let Go Of Guilt, Start To Love
"Pffttt! Hahahha!" Upon listening to his friend's narration of the confrontation with Elise, the dignified Chief Doctor couldn't help but laugh his heart out on how ridiculous the situation had turned out.
"Einz this is no laughing matter!" Leon reprimanded his dear friend. "The lady does not see this matter as grave as it should be…" He said in a worry.
"Leon.." After calming himself down from laughter, Einz patted his dear friend's shoulders and said, "It doesn't mean that she was wrong for shrugging the matter off."
"Remember what she had been through…" Einz said in a melancholic tone, his brown eyes looked at the view far beyond the windows.
"I am not saying that she had already gone through the worst that these things wouldn't faze her.."
"I am saying that because she had been through that.. She looked at the things we see negatively in another light…" Einz gave his friend his heartfelt advice.
"I have been observing her for four years, raising her like my foster sister. Leon, she had grown to be such a mischievous yet happy lady. Yet instead of me teaching her the things in life, she was the one who taught me more about life instead." He said with a smile.
"She looks at life so differently.. What I see as a mundane thing, she sees it as something precious. So precious that even I, who watches over her, would be convinced of her different outlook."
"It is not wrong that you feel guilty about this, because it was your own bottomline you had broken.. Yet I am saying that you should acknowledge her outlook on this things,"
"By the time she wanted to talk about what really happened, then tell her as it is. No more no less."
--
Leon recounted all that happened in his perspective, not concealing anything.
As Eli was listening, she was able to get the whole picture with Elise's memories. Now everything made sense. The Prince had already been thinking of marriage on that night because of his deep sense of responsibility in talking Elise's innocence away.
If anything, the existence of Little Han, made Leon much more adamant in taking responsibility.
However, Elise's memories of what happened has been influenced by her carefree personality and the potion taking effects on her body.
She couldn't help but let out a helpless chuckle. 'These two.. really a handful!'
Leon, who was downcast in shame and guilt, became stiff as he heard Elise's chuckle. "Eli, if you are angry I won't say anything… I will accept it!"
He clenched his fist as he looked down on the ground thinking, 'Finally I was able to explain everything… I will let Eli decide on the next step."
"Leon… Leon, look at me!" Eli, who had observed the guilt ridden Prince, tried to call his attention.
Hesitant, Leon slowly looked at Eli's face and met her stare. He was expecting a look of condemnation and disgust from Eli's eyes but he was not able to see any trace of it.
In her eyes, a look of independence and freedom. Her dark midnight eyes looked so clear and pure, he couldn't find any trace of resentment nor accusation.
It was a look of sympathy and kindness. As if she didn't see herself as a victim nor the judge.
"Leon, free yourself from guilt. I think it is time to let go of the past." She said so gently.
She doesn't want to say if he was guilty or not. She is not the Great One to judge what happened between him and Elise. She wanted him to let go of the burden he had been carrying because she doesn't want to see Leon shackled by the guilt of the past and live with it for the rest of his life.
"The mistakes of yesterday, didn't we choose to face them properly this time?" Eli said while looking down on her baby bump.
"Leon, now that we have decided to be friends and co-parents. I want you to know that Little Han is not something to be guilty of."
"Look at how much happiness Little Han was able to give to the two of us today… How much more when Little Han is finally out of my womb!" She said with a smile while sincerely looking towards Leon.
"Leon, I stand by my decision to reject marriage, because I want us to be free from the guilt of the past and properly face what is present."
"For us to be free to live, free to love, free to smile and free to cherish the people around us. For us to have relationships that were not bound by guilt nor responsibility,"
"But of genuine love."
Eli carefully stood up and walked towards were the moon shined brightly, looking up in the beautiful night sky, she continued,
"In life, there are different kinds of love, not just romantic love…"
"I want us to be free enough to experience and find those kinds of love… Genuine, true love!"
She looked towards Leon, smiling gently.
"Leon, what kind of love do you seek?" She asked with a curious tone.
"I-" Leon couldn't say anything.
Love, he didn't really know what that meant. His love for his people? Does that count? His love for his parents? Is it really love that he felt towards them and not responsibility? Not just a task that came with him being born as a prince?
"Leon, for whatever kind of love you want to seek.." She turned to Leon and said with a sincere smile.
"Why not start loving yourself first?"
Badump!
The sound of Leon's heartbeat became loud enough that he could hear it from his head. He looked towards Eli who was looking at him with a thoughtful smile.
Her body was delicate and fragile looking, yet something in her made Leon see strength and beauty beyond what is physical.
This image was forever etched in Leon's mind. He will never forget how loud his heart was shouting in his soul in this particular night.
Seeing Leon absent minded, she let out a light chuckle, "Hehehe, do not fret too much. I too had just started on my journey to love myself."
"We need to love ourselves first before we are able to truly love other people." Eli's tenderly looked on her womb carresing it lovingly.
Thinking that Leon was baffled of the idea of self love, Eli thought of a famous quote in her previous world,
"I heard this from the wise people back then, -
"You cannot give what you don't have!"
--
Soon, it was time for the bunch to settle down and go to their respective homes.
Azayn and Eli affectionately gave their goodbyes towards each other. Azayn left through the teleportation portal.
As for Randel, who was injured, he had to wait a little bit for Leon and Olivier to finish reinforcing Eli's teleportation portal to be connected in Argentum and Leon's quarters in the central bank.
As soon as it was finished, Leon asked Olivier to stay behind and guard Eli, while he himself would assist Randel in Argentum, much to Olivier's protest.
Leon insisted that he had to talk to the grandmasters about the matters of the Spectre, to which Olivier finally relented.
Soon the cottage became quiet with the trio plus the new member, Olivier. She then beckoned Olivier upstairs to his assigned room while Wisey and Baobao were busy cleaning up the living area and the kitchen.
Eli had already allowed Leon and Olivier to spend the night. Leon was anxious to leave Eli alone tonight in her cottage.
During their private talk, Leon had informed her that he will let Olivier stay behind to be her guard and trainor in summoning. However he had strictly requested Eli not to let Olivier live inside the cottage, much to Eli's confusion.
Eli agreed, nonetheless. After all, Leon was still the Prince, and Little Han's father. She had to also give the respect Leon deserved. She decided to let Baobao and Olivier construct his quarters by tomorrow.
"Tomorrow, the Prince will be going back to the capital.." Eli gently uttered as she sat quietly in the living room, with Wisey, Baobao and Olivier waiting for the Prince to come home.
"Sir Olivier, will the Prince be alright, that you weren't there with him?" Eli asked with a hint of worry and guilt.
"Do not worry Lady, His Highness will be fine! Besides, it's not only me that follows him wholeheartedly! I have my comrades there, rest assured, they are the Prince's most reliable and loyal men!" Olivier said in a lively manner, pumping his chest as if guaranteeing what he had said.
"Sir Olivier, I do not want to be a burden for you, the Prince, and the people I care about." Eli said in a serious manner.
She looked towards Olivier and pleaded, "I want to have strength to protect myself and my people, Sir Olivier, please teach me!"
"Lady! You do not have to beg me! I was already assigned by His Highness to teach you the fundamentals until he is back!" Olivier said in a fluster.
"Although I hope that His Highness will come back and teach you as soon as possible.." Olivier said with regret.
"Why?" Eli was curious why Olivier was sad and regretful.
"Lady, it's because the Prince is currently the strongest summoner in the Empire!"