BXBX NOVEL Chapter 594 Struggles Of A Longing Man (1)
A month has passed since the end of the war and the peace is slowly becoming more apparent.
There is a festive atmosphere in the dragon village as Grandmaster Andvari finally wakes up from his severe injuries.
I could not help but thank the heavens that his condition is slowly recovering. Most especially, because of the heavy guilt in my heart for causing such damage to him.
Even now, I still have no idea how to face him.
But with Little Han's enthusiasm, I have no choice but to visit him once he has had enough rest.
"Daddi?"
As I got lost in my thoughts I was awoken by my son's heartbreaking voice in between his sniffles.
"Daddi… Gwandpa Andi is already awake… when will Mommi wake up too???"
Little Han asked innocently. This a question that might have been harmless, yet to me, it was like a harsh reminder of what our reality is at the moment.
I looked at him with great sadness as my heart broke at seeing our little one desperately clutch in his unconscious mother's hand.
Even more so, I was even more distressed knowing that the moment Eli woke up, she would be totally different.
On the night of the war's end, Aunt Yelena's words haunted me.
She said that the moment Eli interacted with her before falling unconscious, she clearly looked at her and Grandmaster Andi as if they were strangers.
At that time, Aunt Yelena's trembling body proved that it was not really something we do not have to bother.
Knowing that Aunt Yelena was Eli's mother in both lives, her fears were not something we cannot just dismiss.
Unfortunately, even after Kayden, Uncle Cornelius, and Aunt Yelena joined forces to figure out Eli's condition, they did not discover anything at all.
It was only when the Guardians gathered us all that we came to understand what happened to her.
And the truth they gave made us all devastated.
That was three days ago when the Father Emperor came with my elder brothers and the rest to the dragon village to check Grandmaster and Eli's condition.
While we were all convening in a conference room, the Guardians appeared before us much to our surprise.
As we knelt in reverence, Guardian Ignis looked at me and said.
"We have come to tell you about Eli's condition…"
The moment he said that my heart skipped a beat and my throat felt dry. The haunting news from Aunt Yelena and the unfruitful efforts made to make Eli's condition improve would be finally explained.
But I could feel that my mind and my heart might not be able to take the truth of the matter that easily.
Guardian Ignis's fiery eyes swept toward us and continued,
"We chose this moment because we know that you people should be the ones to know about what happened to her in hopes that you would be the first people to understand."
Everyone in the room became silent, especially the Farauld, Forgeworn, and the Silverdew couple who were undeniably Eli's parental figures.
"First, I'll have you know what kind of thing Eli went through in order for her to become qualified to take on the Rebel Angel Birsha."
The Guardian Sylvain proceeded to tell about Eli's soul split in two and lived two lives.
How it was necessary for her to go through the adversaries that she went through in those lives in order to become a strong contender.
It was also at that moment that Kayden and I realized the truth about Eli and Elise.
That they are one and the same, and in the first place, Kayden did not lose her sister, and I did not lose the girl I saved back then.
However, this did not come as a relief to us, but it brought us a heavier burden.
For we know what kind of life Elise went through in that dungeon, and we also knew what kind of life Eli had in her previous world.
Just as we thought that the heaviness is already at its highest, we heard yet another word from the guardians.
"Now…" Guardian Ignis looked at us once more and said, "The reason why Eli has to have a larger soul and a stronger spirit is because of the power of decay wielded by the fallen angel."
"Every time the power of decay hits one's flesh, one would not only be injured in flesh but also in soul and in spirit."
"Injury in the spirit meant that one would lose chances to go home to the heavenly realm once the mortal time is up." Guardian Celeste added.
"While injury in the soul meant the loss of oneself. Our soul is what makes up one's personality. You can also partly say that the soul includes one's memories and personality."
"And the more Eli was injured in the fight with the fallen angel, the more she loses herself and goes further away from the heavenly realms…"
As the guardians explained this point, I could no longer bear to listen.
My body trembled as my eyes heated up in raging emotions.
But before my emotions exploded, Aunt Yelena's shaking voice uttered, "Dear Guardians, tell us… what is left of Eli?"
'What is left…'
This question is so cruel and heartbreaking at the same time.
I felt my heart breaking into pieces as my legs went weak. It was the first time in my life that I could not bear to hear the answer, a devastating truth!
This time it was Guardian Zale's voice that brought the news.
"The only memories she had were her days in the dungeon and the first months when she lost you."
Bam!
I felt my body hitting the ground, knowing how heavy Guardian Zale's words are.
"Why…" I asked weakly, as my chest tightened and a great sense of grievance overwhelmed me.
I only had a vague idea of what Eli had been through in those times.
I ONLY HAVE A VAGUE IDEA!
And yet, how could I accept the fact that the moment Eli would wake up, she would have to continue her life in those moments where she had to relive those traumas once more?
"Why must she go through that pain once again?" I looked up and stared at the guardians angrily.
I know deep in my heart that it is abominable to question them and the Great One but, my anger and frustration could not handle it.
If there is one in this world who would feel aggrieved on Eli's behalf then it should be me!
"Why did you just watch until she had nothing left before you intervened?!"
"Why must you bring her to this situation?!"
"Aren't you more powerful than us?"
"Are you not the ones who should really take care of these rebels?"
"Why have you left us to be at our own devices?"
"Why have you let Eli suffer?!"
My body rushed to approach them as I only thought to hold them accountable. However, several pairs of strong hands stopped me from approaching the guardians.
"Son… calm down." My Father Emperor softly reminded me, while I could feel that his hands were also trembling.
"Third Prince… please…" Grandmaster Reuben, Chief Dragon Fafnir, and Teacher Eugene, also held me back.
Behind me, Aunt Yelena and the rest of the women were already crying in devastation.
I gritted my teeth and looked at the guardians aggrievedly.
The reason for my rage was not actually because of blaming them for these things that happened, but rather, the hate in myself for facing another reality.
I've failed to protect Eli. I've let her do the battle alone… and now it has come to this.
"Ah…" I hung my head low as I fell to the ground once more.
No longer caring about my dignity, I wailed like a child for the tragedy that happened to the woman I love.
I punched the ground repeatedly as the stone floor became wet with my tears and blood.
Unfortunately, the pain I was inflicting upon myself physically could not numb the pain I was feeling at the core of my being.
"Why?"
"Why!!!!"
I asked as I looked around everyone.
"What sin did she do that she had to be sacrificed like this for our sake?" I looked at my Father whose eyes were also reddening in emotions and the rest.
Everyone in the room was at the height of their emotions, and at that moment, it was not only me who struggled to face the truth.
"We are sorry…" Suddenly, Guardian Amihan, who bears a childlike appearance stepped forward and squatted in front of me.
Her round bright eyes looked at me sincerely as she said the simple words, "We are sorry, we have no strength to do it as well…"
Her voice was filled with guilt and regret but as she was a guardian, she had no ability to shed a tear.
Guardian Sylvain looked at me and gave a few words as well, "Third Prince, while we understand your emotions… I want you to remember that what Eli did, is something she willingly took."
"Not because we gave it to her as a responsibility…"
"But because she was desperately thinking of you and Little Han at that moment."
"Please, do not belittle her decision and sacrifice."
"You are only insulting her this way."
Guardian Sylvain's words were like cleansing water being poured out to calm my raging soul, yet it left an utterly bitter taste in my mouth.
I clenched my fist and dug the nails into my palms uncontrollably.
I know of that fact! I know that it was Eli's decision!
But it is just too painful to know…
That my other half was hurt this much for my sake!