BXBX NOVEL Chapter 192: What is Real?
Chapter 192: What is Real?
"I think we might need to look into that a bit further" said Kat
Minor nodded "Right um… well… so as I\'ve always said I live in Major\'s mind. So um… like this whole place is sort of her memories? And like… I do have my own little corner, but a lot of my memories just aren\'t there
"Which is strange because I\'ve been able to find basically all of Shizu- Major\'s. So I think… that for some reason this little avatar I have, this is most of me. My little hideaway is a few less important memories but almost all of ME is um right here?"
*Hmmm, I guess that makes a certain degree of sense…* "What about myself then? Am I just a roughly approximated version of my own thoughts and memories generated by the spell? Or am I closer to the real Kat" said Kat
Minor let her mouth hang open unsure of what to say. Around a minute passed before she composed herself enough to speak "I… I don\'t know. I don\'t want to think about it"
Kat shrugged "Doesn\'t really bother me either way. I\'d just like to know in case I have to do something stupid later on. I don\'t seem to have…" Can\'t say that "Demonic insurance I normally would"
Minor tilted her head "What do you mean?" asked Minor
"Demons can\'t die while summoned, but I don\'t think I have that safety net at the moment. Or perhaps only my real body does? So like, the question is, am I copy where it doesn\'t matter what happens to me. Or am I actually me inside your head, and it would be quite bad" said Kat
Minor got a thoughtful expression. "I… I don\'t know. I\'m not even sure about if I\'m, ah, really me so I\'m certainly in no position to tell you if your real or not"
*Hmmm, I guess that makes sense but.* Kat activated her mental acceleration and watched the world slow. *Pretty sure that shouldn\'t work if I\'m just in Minor\'s head. Because it speeds up how I perceive the world. But this isn\'t exactly the world is it.*
*Then again, I believe demons talked a bit about a soul, and that\'s what my outfit is attached to. Maybe I\'m just a soul? That might make the most sense, because Shizuka has two souls living inside of her.*
*Or well… three now I guess.* "Eh, don\'t get to twisted up about it Minor. I\'m not too worried about it" said Kat
"But, but… shouldn\'t you be?" asked Minor
"Not really" said Kat "I can just treat this like it\'s real enough. Be careful sometimes, take risks others, and then at the end of it all I am a copy then it doesn\'t matter, because I bet I\'ll get the memories back" said Kat
Minor studied Kat for a while. During this time, she also made some effort to remove the snot and tears from her face. When she went to move onto Kat\'s outfit, she was surprised to see nothing on it, but didn\'t say anything.
Kat\'s lips curled into a slight smile. *Dirt and grime getting repelled from me is a rather underrated ability.* "So where do we go now" asked Kat
"One moment" said Minor, grabbing onto Kat and shifting the scene once again. "Ok, just in case I\'ve moved us once more"
Kat nodded "So…"
"Right… ah, so, um, I mentioned I can do what I want in my own space and uh… in the unclaimed lands right?" asked Minor
Kat nodded
"Right… so, it\'s like this… In Major\'s memories I have a little control… it\'s ah… not much, but I can move around a bit" said Minor
Kat patted her on the head "Take your time, maybe calm down a bit first"
Minor stopped and took in Kat. She then took a step back and breathed in. All of sudden Minor increased in size back to her original height… still shorter than Kat, but not the tiny fox that had just cried into her kimono.
Minor fanned her tails out and righted her expression "Ok" said Minor, her voice now with an echoey quality "I can do this"
Kat inclined her head "Impressive, you didn\'t stutter at all. This is a fast improvement can you explain what happened?"
"Ah… well. I can sort of manipulate myself a little as well. I was a bit overwhelmed when I saw you and the fa?ade I had built up around me, so I reverted quite a few of the changes I\'ve made over time to keep myself more stable" said Minor still with the slight echo to her voice.
Kat pursed her lips "Is that really for the best"
Minor shrugged "I\'m not sure actually. I think quite differently like this. It\'s much better for problem solving but if my emotions overwhelm this form it simply cracks. It is incapable of dealing with more potent feelings"
Kat frowned "Wouldn\'t that include fear? If we run into any nightmares this could be a problem"
Minor shook her head "Perhaps? This form does dampen emotions quite a bit, and combining your calming aura with it should prevent it from failing"
"Is this really what you want though?" asked Kat "It seems like it can\'t be healthy in the long run"
Minor seemed to consider this "Well, you are somewhat correct, but it isn\'t as though either form is actually my true one. What you see before you is how I normally keep myself together while within Major\'s head"
"I lost the ability to regulate my emotions fully when you met me in the real world, and then once you showed up again, but keeping the emotional responses fully active is not conducive to completing our current task" said Minor
Kat narrowed her eyes "I\'m not sure how much I like this. I think it would be better for you to deal with your emotions as they come, and perhaps find some less artificial stability" explained Kat
Minor nodded "Perhaps, but as I said, the other form is not my true one either, that perhaps is lost to time. Did you not find it odd that I was able to remain sane at all living in someone else\'s head? Though it is an interesting thing to note that even my emotional form prefers it in here???
Kat frowned "Your emotional form does seem a lot closer to what you are actually like"
Minor shrugged "Perhaps, but please understand I have spent much longer in the form you see before you. Even the emotional form is not a true representation of what I\'m like in the real world so if it is simply a matter of choice, this is the one I choose"
Kat sighed, "Is it possible for you to switch back for a little? Maybe have me increase my calming aura to help you deal with the emotions?"
Minor put a finger to her mouth and pulled at the sides. "Hmm, I\'m unsure… we do not have forever. It seems that your presence here means that Shizuka, the body, is not long for this world. Grandma wouldn\'t have sent you otherwise"
*Why! Minor and Major already share a headspace, why does Minor want to split her personality even further! Surely this can\'t be good for her either.* "What if I insist" said Kat
This actually caused Minor to frown. "Would you truly"
Kat stared Minor down "If I thought it would be best for you. Yes"
Minor tried to stare back, searching, but seemed to flinch when she found what she was looking for. "Ok"
Minor seemed to deflate once again, her tails falling slightly and her form shrinking drastically. Kat kept her end of the deal and increased the power of her aura, straining against her new range limitations to keep Minor enveloped.
When Minor\'s form settled, she spoke "Well… this isn\'t so bad" she said but didn\'t seem to believe.
"We\'ve got some time Minor" whispered Kat as she moved to her side. "I\'m here to help the both of you. If this makes it a little harder on me, then that\'s fine"
Minor gave Kat a light hug. "Ok, well in that case we need to get a bit of a move on"
Kat smiled "See, no stutter. Told you, this was fine"
Minor\'s hands flew to her mouth but the turned a glare towards Kat "I\'m only fine because you have your aura around me"
Kat shrugged "Didn\'t work earlier did it? I might have increased the power a little but not that much"
Minor narrowed her eyes at Kat but didn\'t say anything. *It isn\'t that much compared to my full aura, but it is more than double what it was when she started. Seems this whole wordplay business isn\'t that hard.*
"Ok, so we need to start at the beginning" said Minor
"Again?" asked Kat confused
"No the beginning of Us" said Minor, with a strange emphasis on us. As she finished the world shifted and churned as Kat found herself somewhere else.