BXBX NOVEL Chapter 73: The Young Miss’s Resolution
Chapter 73: The Young Miss's Resolution
By the time the meeting ended, the sun had already set.
I returned to my room.
It was a room with the bare minimum of furnishings.
I was going to organize my belongings but I wasn't feeling any motivation so I sat on the bed.
My body sank into the hard bed.
I was more tired than I thought, it seems.
"Fuu..."
I don't think I did anything today that should have worn me out.
I'm feeling really fatigued to the core.
Maybe this is mental fatigue.
No, that's not it.
I could be in shock as well.
Sauros, Philip, Hilda.
I wasn't all that close to them, but if I close my eyes I can still remember.
The time when Old Man Sauros came to check up on Eris when we went out to look at the countryside.
Philip, with a villain's smile, asking me to join him in usurping the Boreas family power.
Hilda telling me to become their child and marry Eris.
They are no longer in this world.
Even more, that house doesn't even remain.
That large house, where voices would sometimes echo is no longer around.
The banquet hall where I danced with Eris, the tower where I interrupted Old Man Sauros's love affair, the large amount of paperwork and books, it's all already gone.
It's not just the house. Buina village as well.
I haven't actually seen it myself, but the tree Zenith took so much care of, the tree Roxy burnt down with Saint Class magic, the large tree Sylphy and I played together at, it had all disappeared.
...When it comes to Buina Village, why is it that I remember so many trees?
Well, whatever.
Anyways, everything has disappeared.
I thought I understood it when Paul told me, but after actually seeing it, it's more of a shock than I thought.
"Fuuu..."
After my second sigh, *knock knock*, someone was knocking at the door.
"...Come in."
The one who came in was Eris.
"Good evening, Rudeus."
"Eris, are you feeling better now?"
"I'm alright."
Saying that Eris stood in front of me and took her usual pose.
It doesn't look like she's feeling too down.
As expected of Eris.
After just learning that her family has been annihilated, she's way stronger than me it seems.
No, she could actually be feeling quite down.
Normally she wouldn't even have knocked on the door.
She would have kicked it open.
"Well, I thought this might possibly be the case a while back."
"Is that so..."
Eris said it as if it was nothing.
Sometime ago she said she was prepared mentally in the case that this happened.
That she prepared herself for the possibility that her family had died.
It's something I couldn't have done.
Even now I'm still thinking that somewhere Zenith is out there alive.
Even if I understand in my head that the possibility of her being dead is higher.
"Eris, what are you going to do from here on out?"
"What am I going to do?"
"Um, have you heard the story from Alphonse yet?"
"I heard. However, that doesn't matter at all."
"Doesn't matter at all..."
Eris was looking straight at me.
Suddenly, I finally realized, her appearance was different from normal.
Eris was wearing the black one piece she bought in Milishion.
The black one piece matched well with her red hair, almost like a dress.
Maybe because of the thin material, but her chest really stood out.
Hm?
It's because she's not wearing a bra.
After looking closely I noticed her hair was a bit wet.
It looked as though she just washed it in the bath.
That's not all, I could smell a bit of a sweet smell unlike normal.
What is it?
I've smelled something like it before. Perfume?
"Rudeus. I'm alone now."
Alone?
Ah, I see.
Her family is already gone.
She still has blood related siblings, but no family.
"And, I turned 15 recently."
Speaking of 15 years old... hearing that I panicked.
When was it?
When was her birthday?
My birthday was 1-2 months ago or so.
Therefore, it was more than a month ago.
I didn't realize.
"Umm, sorry, I totally didn't realize it."
When was it?
I don't think I saw anything that would have shown that.
If it's Eris, normally she would be making a lot of noise around her birthday.
Was there a day Eris did something unusual?
I can't remember.
"Rudeus didn't realize, but it was the day Ruijerd told me I was now an adult."
"Ah."
It was that day, huh.
I remember, right in the middle of the road, now I understand, that's why. That's why Ruijerd told Eris she was now an adult.
This is bad, I might have screwed up.
Did I really not realize...
"Umm, is it alright if I prepare something now? Is there anything you want?"
"That's right, there is one thing that I want."
"What is it?"
"A family."
I was at a loss for words.
That is something that I can't really prepare.
I can't revive people from the dead.
"Rudeus, become my family."
"Eh?"
I suddenly looked at Eris' face in the darkness and it was bright red.
Then that is that.
A proposal?
No, it can't be.
"That is, then, you want to be older sister and younger brother?"
"It doesn't matter what the relationship is."
With a bright red face down to her ears Eris was avoiding eye contact.
"In other words, umm, let's sleep together, is what it means."
What does it mean?
Calm down, think about the meaning of the words.
...Sleep together.
I understand.
In other words, with everything that's happened, Eris is in shock.
In order to heal the wounds in her heart, she wants to know she's not alone and feel the warmth of another.
Family.
In this case it would be playing family.
But...
"Even though you were feeling lonely today, I might try to do something perverted?"
Some night in the past I said something similar to that.
Frankly, I have no confidence.
I have no confidence that I can hold myself back while lying in the same bed and feeling Eris' warmth.
Eris should understand something like that as well.
Right...
"To-today it's okay."
"I told you before though, I won't be able to stop at just a little bit."
"I remember. Today, it's alright if you mess me up."
Hearing that reply, I just kept staring at Eris' face.
Thinking about what I just heard.
But.
If you say something like that, my son's gonna do a standing ovation you know?
"Wh-why are you suddenly saying something like that?"
"Didn't we promise that it would be okay when I turned 15?"
"I thought we were talking about when *I* turn 15?"
"I don't mind either way."
"Mind it!"
Strange.
Something is very strange.
Think, what is strange?
That's right.
In other words Eris is lonely.
She might be throwing herself away.
I've experienced many scenes like this in ero games.
When someone dies, they go to someone else in order to comfort them.
And a physical relationship is formed.
Yeah, I understand.
However, if I lay my hand on her, then isn't it like I'm taking advantage of her weakness?
Do I want to do that?
My worthless parts are yelling "Graduate from your Virginity!" and feeling very happy.
But, wouldn't it be better to do that under more normal circumstances?
I don't think it's a good idea to do it in this mentally cornered state.
If we do it while both of us are suffering emotionally.
Later, we might regret it.
Ah, but, a chance where Eris says it's okay might not come again.
In the case that Eris goes to where Philemon is, certainly the promise at 15 years old will be scrapped.
No, in the first place, if someone else steals her virginity...
Do it.
I want to do it.
However, I feel like I shouldn't do it.
I'm an indecisive harem story protagonist.
A coward when it comes time to show his manly side.
But, in reality when it comes down to it I'm retreating.
I can't think of a good word for it.
What would be the best choice.
I have a feeling I'll end up regretting it regardless of which decision I make.
I'm sure I'll regret it two years later.
Expecting Eris on a bed wrapped in ribbons on my 15th birthday.
[It's your birthday present! I might accidentally hit you, so I've tied myself up, do whatever you want with me!]
As if something like that would actually happen.
Ah, no, wait.
I almost died recently.
That time before I was about to die I was really regretting it.
Thinking that I still had something left to do.
Who knows if I'll still be alive 2 years from now?
I was in a number of critical situations up to now.
Wouldn't it be better to throw away my regrets and just do it now?
No, but, wait...
"...Geez!"
While I was lost in thought.
Eris coughed a bit and sat on my lap.
And facing me put her arms around my neck.
Eris' beautiful face and her sun burnt chest spread out before my field of vision.
When she noticed something between her thighs she opened her mouth a bit.
And her face went even more red.
"What is this..."
"Because Eris is cute."
Eris sighed and grinded her inner thighs against the head of my son.
That sensation was so sweet and soft.
My son was very delighted.
"This happens when you get excited, right?"
"Yeah."
"It's not like you don't want to do it with me, right?"
"Yeah."
"You were fond of Father and Grandfather as well, right?
"Yeah."
"Rudeus, for a while now you've had a perverted look on your face."
"Yeah."
"Even though you've been saying we can't?"
"...Yeah."
I nodded for the last time.
My gaze was already pinned to her chest and nape.
I felt her soft thighs and the sensation of her chest pressing against me.
Inhaling a full breath of her scent.
My body was already giving in to instinct.
I gathered the last tiny bit of my reason and spoke.
"Promise... wasn't it a promise? Not to do it until 15."
Of course, that was just for show.
At this moment, frankly, I couldn't care less about it at all.
Why I'm even resisting at all is pretty vague.
Hearing my words, Eris sighed and said.
"Hey, Rudeus. I learned something from Mother but, it was forbidden, and since it's embarrassing I'm only going to say it once."
After saying that she took a single deep breath.
She brought her face close to my ear.
And said a single line with a voice like a child wanting to be spoiled.
Undoing the forbidden seal.
"I want to be Rudeus's kitten, nyan~"
Those words quickly invaded my ears and devoured my last bit of resistance and reason.
This person is called the problematic Mad Dog in public and it matches her perfectly.
A dog, a dog, but nyan!
I reacted with instinct.
Through instinct I became a beast and pushed Eris down on the bed.
Part 2
That night.
Eris and I climbed the stairs to adulthood together.
During that moment I forgot about everything that was bothering me.
Only focusing on being together with Eris.
I never said it out loud, but I thought that I love her.
I thought I want to protect her forever.
I thought that nothing else beyond that mattered.
Didn't Paul say it?
Noble responsibility doesn't matter at all.
There's no need to think about anything difficult.
In order to save her, doing anything would be fine is what I thought.
I think 3 children would be good, but we'll probably make more is what I thought.
Yes, if that's the case.
I was totally happy.
I wasn't thinking at all about what Eris was thinking about.
Part 3
–Eris Point of View–
That day I, Eris Boreas Greyrat became an adult.
I received Rudeus as my present for my 15th birthday.
It was a bit different from the promise, but I was bound together with Rudeus.
I love him.
When was it that I clearly became aware of it?
That's right, I'm certain the first time I realized I liked him was during his 10th birthday.
It was the time when my mother forced me up when I was sleeping, she put a deep red nightgown on me, and with a serious face said, "Go to his room and entrust your body to him."
It wasn't that I didn't want to do it.
However, I was a bit confused.
Things like that I had heard about a number of times from my mother and Edona.
Eventually it would become like that, is how I was instructed.
However, that day I still hadn't resolved myself.
I thought it would be further in the future.
Whether he knew or didn't know of my confusion, Rudeus touched my body.
It seemed like he was up until late talking about something with my father, could it be, that they had this kind of conversation?
While thinking that a certain thought rose to the surface within me.
"He might not like me."
It could be that, he had no choice other than to follow what my father told him and lay his hands on me.
Rudeus in those days was an amazing person.
He knew everything and could do anything.
Even though that was the case he never let his desire to learn weaken, and just kept advancing forward.
I wonder if he and I match together.
Looking at Rudeus who was breathing heavily, I thought my feelings didn't matter at all to him.
I am a reward given to him by my father.
After thinking that it became unpleasant.
I pushed him away and ran.
After running away from the room this time I was afraid.
That right now I could be doing something that I can't recover from...
It could be that right now I'm about to lose my final chance.
I was told by mother that there would be no other person than Rudeus willing to accept me.
I think that is the case as well.
I've met with the children of nobles a number of times, but there were none of them with as much backbone as Rudeus.
Rudeus has been interested in my body since he was younger.
He would often come to flip up my skirt and try to pull my panties down, and whenever he can he tries to touch my chest.
Each time I would hit him and drive him off.
During the short period when I went to school, there was a time when a boy tried to tease me and I hit him, that child never said anything cheeky again.
However, Rudeus didn't respond to it at all.
I strongly felt the reality of the words my mother said, that there is no one other than Rudeus.
If I'm to be hated by him, I thought I would be forever alone.
I thought isn't it fine even if it's as a reward?
As long as we can remain together.
I returned to Rudeus' room.
After seeing me, he rolled up into a ball like a frog.
He apologized saying he was wrong.
Even though it was me that wasn't resolved?
In response to him, while looking down from above, I said to wait another five years.
At the time I thought that much would be good.
If it was the adult Rudeus, I thought he would wait for me.
That time I realized that I had come to like him.
However, the situation soon underwent a sudden change.
We were thrown to some unknown place, then when I opened my eyes what was in front of me was a Superd race.
I thought I was receiving retribution.
I thought I was receiving retribution for doing whatever I liked until now.
Mother always used to say any number of times if I'm always selfish a Superd race will come and eat me.
That's why I thought I would be eaten by this demon.
At least I felt it would have been good if I had let Rudeus do as he pleased at that time.
The main thing starts at 15 years old, but it's fine.
Until Rudeus is satisfied, it would have been fine if I had just endured.
I cried, screamed, and crouched to the ground.
The one who came to save me was neither Ghyslaine nor my grandfather, it was Rudeus.
He was talking with that Superd race.
Even though he should have been considerably worried as well, he was comforting and calming me who is older.
I thought how much courage he has.
I found another thing that I like about him.
After that Rudeus gave it his best.
With a pale face, he made a deal with the Demon Race.
He didn't eat much food at all.
He hid the fact that his condition was bad.
I'm sure it's so he doesn't worry me, he's suffering when I'm not looking.
That's why, I decided to endure it.
I'll bear with it during the times I want to cry out and leave it to Rudeus.
As much as I can, I'll continue to behave as I usually do.
However, there were a number of times where I couldn't endure it.
The anxiety never stopped, it continued to well up in the bottom of my heart.
Since it was a painful situation, I think I was being quite selfish.
Rudeus never got angry, he continued to stay by my side.
Without saying a single word of sarcasm, he caressed my head, embraced my shoulders, and comforted me.
During those times he wouldn't do a single ecchi thing.
Even though he normally would do as he pleases, during just those times he would only touch my body as much as was needed.
I thought that being ecchi was his method of playfulness.
He might act like that on a normal basis in order to make us feel relieved.
That's how I thought.
He isn't thinking about just himself, but he was thinking about me as well.
I thought I had to become strong.
At least enough that I wouldn't get in Rudeus' way.
The only thing that I could do better than Rudeus was just waving a sword.
Just fighting.
Even in that, I'm still far from Ruijerd who became our ally.
If it was just the sword... but I can't win against Rudeus when he is using magic too.
Rudeus allowed me to gain experience.
I'm sure, if it was just Rudeus and Ruijerd, they could have defeated monsters in a simpler way, and they could have continued the journey in a simpler way without delay.
After thinking like that I felt like crying.
If Rudeus were to realize that, if he were to come to hate me along the way, he would leave me and return. That's how I thought.
Therefore, I desperately tried to get stronger.
I challenged Ruijerd for training and was defeated over and over.
Each time, I would hear Ruijerd say "Understand now?".
Each time, I would remember Ghyslaine's words.
Rational, that's right, it's rational.
There's rationality to the movements of a master.
If you see something stronger than yourself, first carefully observe them.
Ruijerd is strong, most likely stronger than Ghyslaine.
That's why I was watching.
Nothing but looking at his movements, trying to imitate it until I was able to do it.
Ruijerd helped me to become stronger.
All night long after Rudeus gets tired and falls asleep, without making an unpleasant face, he accompanied me with my training.
I did intensive training as well.
As if it was the most obvious thing, Ruijerd would beat me down.
For him who likes children, beating me down should have been something painful.
In regards to me, Ruijerd is already an existence I can call shisho.
One year after we started our journey.
I thought I had become strong.
I felt like I understood I was different from those days when Ghyslaine would say with a sour face, "rational-rational".
While training with Ruijerd I understood the true meaning of rational.
The movements of my body that were always fine being made up on the spot until now, every bit of them suddenly had a meaning to their existence.
I finally understood the meaning of the feints that I thought were crafty and the nonchalant pre-emptive attacks up until now.
Then one day, I managed to land my first hit on Ruijerd.
If I think about it now, it seems like he was distracted by some other matter.
However, in regards to me, those kinds of gaps didn't matter at all.
I managed to take my first hit off him.
With this I wouldn't get in Rudeus' way.
I can go on walking by Rudeus' side.
That's right, I was getting ahead of myself.
That impudence, Rudeus all too easily crushed.
He suddenly got his hands on a demon eye and all too easily pinned me down.
I lost to Rudeus.
In a head on battle without magic at that.
It was a shock.
I already have nothing left I can win against him with.
I thought it was unfair.
I thought that was against the rules.
The path that I had been walking down for a number of years, in a single go, he overturned it.
The same time reality was forced on me.
Without changing I was still holding him back.
I secretly cried.
Early morning the next day, while swinging my sword on the beach I cried.
Ruijerd said not to let it bother me.
From the start, Rudeus had a good affinity with demon eyes.
If you train, then you'll be able to become stronger.
He said I have talent, therefore don't give up.
What do you mean talent?
Ghyslaine and Ruijerd are full of lies.
I thought that.
Around that time Rudeus looked huge to me.
Overwhelmingly large, he looked as if he held a light so bright I couldn't look directly at him.
I was turning him into a deity.
If you were to speak of who is a perfect human, I would have answered Rudeus without a doubt.
I thought I needed to try and catch up somehow, but I had given up somewhere thinking it was impossible.
That only changed after we crossed over into Milis Continent.
We met Gisu, I came to understand that there were a variety of skills other than the sword and magic in the world.
I thought I would learn them, but I was rejected.
I thought, why? At that time.
I couldn't accept it.
And then the events at Milishion.
At the very least, I had to make sure I could do things on my own and then I went off to do the simplest Goblin Subjugation.
I wanted to think even a bit that I can do it by myself.
For the first time I came to realize a portion of my own talent at that time.
I ended up fighting against some strange assassins and overwhelmed the other side.
At some point I had grown without realizing it.
And then, when I returned, Rudeus had weakened.
After somehow listening to the situation, it seems Paul is in this town and his meeting with Rudeus was painful.
Even though he wasn't crying, while looking at the deeply depressed Rudeus, I remembered that he was still a child two years younger than me.
Even though that was the case, he became this selfish woman's home teacher, he never received congratulations from his family on his 10th birthday, and he was forced to travel along with someone dragging his legs down on the Magic Continent.
And then he was pushed away by his father.
It was something I couldn't possibly forgive.
For someone who is seated at the very lowest of seats in the Asura nobility, I decided in my heart to kill Paul Greyrat.
I often heard about the strength of this person known as Paul from my father.
It was talk about how he's a genius swordsman who has raised Sword God style, Water God style, and North God style, all three styles to Advanced level.
And then he's that Rudeus' father.
However, I didn't want to think that I might lose.
The things that Ruijerd had taught me had properly become power within me.
The swordsmanship taught to me by Ghyslaine and the combat techniques taught to me by Ruijerd.
If I hold both of those then I shouldn't be defeated.
I can't lose to a fiend.
However, I was stopped by Ruijerd.
After asking why, he said it's because this is a parent and child fight.
I had heard that Ruijerd was lamenting things about his own children.
That's why this time I decided to do as Ruijerd said.
Now that I think about it, even after everything, Rudeus enjoyed the time he was talking with Paul.
A parent and child who get along well just got into a bit of a petty fight.
After thinking like that, it feels like something in my guts cooled down.
However, the me from that time couldn't accept it.
In the end, Rudeus and Paul reconciled.
It ended up just like Ruijerd had said.
I'll say it once more, I couldn't accept it.
I couldn't understand why Rudeus forgave his father.
That's right, he forgave him.
He, to that inhuman father...
If it was me, he would be an opponent that I would absolutely never forgive.
In regards to that matter, Rudeus didn't talk very much about it.
Ruijerd wouldn't tell me about it either.
Since they are adults.
After that, we crossed over to Central Continent.
During this time he had become energetic, he became able to eat a lot of food.
And then, as usual, Rudeus was amazing.
In the Shirone Kingdom, he became friends with the third prince in a single day and managed to rescue his family.
If you were to ask me, all I did was just rage about along with Ruijerd.
In terms of results, raging about without thinking ended up being what saved Rudeus.
He said [I didn't do anything.] and [You saved me.] but at that rate even if he had been alone he would have without a doubt solved everything.
Rudeus was large.
He was too large.
That large figure, that day, the day we met with the Dragon God, became even greater.
The confrontation with the Dragon God.
During the time when Ruijerd and I were trembling from that guy who was like the symbol of fear itself, only Rudeus was calm.
Against that opponent who Ruijerd couldn't do a thing to, he even managed to land a single hit.
The magic he used at that time couldn't be seen by my eyes.
Rudeus said it was a rock bullet, but I've never seen that terrifying of a rock bullet until now.
It was amazing. Rudeus who was being serious.
He was able to properly fight against the Dragon God that is said to be the strongest in the world.
The next instant after I thought that, Rudeus died.
Until that instant I thought death was something completely unrelated to us.
Rudeus is strong, so he would never die.
While I'm being protected by him, I wouldn't die either.
Since Ruijerd is here as well, it's safe.
That's how I thought.
It was a misunderstanding.
Rudeus was about to die.
If in the case the young girl who was accompanying that Dragon God hadn't requested to heal him on a whim, or if the Dragon God hadn't been able to use healing magic, Rudeus would be dead.
I was afraid.
I was not only a shackle to him, but I had become a burden.
That's right, I felt it all over again.
Even after that, I still looked at Rudeus like a deity.
Because even if he was almost killed he managed to survive.
Moreover, he started to train under the assumption that he might have to fight that Dragon God again.
Three days after he was on the verge of death.
I couldn't comprehend that.
I couldn't comprehend it, but in any case I was afraid, so I stood by his side.
I had the feeling that if I wasn't by his side he would die.
I had the feeling that I would be left behind.
And then we separated from Ruijerd.
Ruijerd said it was impossible to win against that Dragon God.
However, in the very end he taught me.
He told me to remember the technique the Dragon God used.
Burn into my eyes that scene, the Dragon God's movements, that technique that warded off my sword.
I found rationality in that.
The Dragon God wasn't some monster with an unknown identity.
He was a master who used human techniques.
And then in the end.
We arrived at home, we came to understand there was nothing left.
I came to know of the death of my Father, Grandfather, and Mother.
I was sad.
Even though it was this painful trying to return, I had nothing left.
My house and my family were gone.
Ghyslaine and Alphonse were here, but somehow they were scolding me like different people.
Already, I had nothing left but Rudeus.
That's why I thought to become family with him.
I was impatient.
His job was already coming to a close.
The contracted time was five years and it had already long since passed.
His role of escorting me home had ended as well.
Not all of his family had been found yet.
He would soon go off on a journey most likely.
Leaving me behind.
I thought that.
In order to restrain him, I closed in with my body.
He was reluctant at first.
I thought he might not accept me.
Rudeus had shown interest in my underwear, but he never came to peek on me when I was bathing.
Even in the ship crossing over to Milis Continent, if he had such an intention he could have touched me or stripped me as much as he pleased, but he didn't.
That's why I thought he might not have any interest in my body.
Since I had always spent my time training with the sword, I wouldn't have as much feminity as other girls.
I thought no matter how ecchi Rudeus is, he might not want to actually embrace this.
That was not the case.
Rudeus was extremely excited.
After seeing Rudeus that excited, I got excited as well.
And then we combined our bodies for the first time.
In the beginning it hurt a bit, but gradually it started to feel good.
Compared to Rudeus it seemed like he was feeling good in the start, and then on the way he started to get weak, then fragile, and then he seemed to break.
There I realized it.
I realized it again.
Rudeus is smaller than me.
Of course, I'm rather sturdy as a woman, but putting aside stature his entire body was smaller as whole. Even more than me.
Rudeus is younger than me, I understood it for the first time then.
Even though Rudeus is this young, he was always protecting me.
Even the time when we were on the ship, he continued to cast healing on me.
During the time when we got off the ship, he was considerably tired.
After getting on that disgusting feeling vehicle, even he shouldn't have been able to remain composed.
That's right.
If it hadn't been for that healing, then after we got off the ship Rudeus might not have been captured by that beast race Gyes.
Compared to him, what about me I wonder.
I had become stronger.
Even my swordsmanship, it has become relatively skilled.
However, I had never thought much about Rudeus.
My eyes were always so focused on his greatness, my eyes were turned away from how small he is.
In the end I used the worries of losing my family as a means to close in on Rudeus, following my own desires, I even behaved like this.
I'll say it once more.
I love Rudeus.
However, I am not appropriate for Rudeus.
I am nothing but a burden for Rudeus.
We were able to become family, but we can't have a relationship beyond that.
We can't become a couple.
It's just like he said, being siblings would be just right.
I don't balance up with him.
Even if we stayed together, I would just continue to drag him down.
It seems like it would be good to put a bit of distance between us for a little while.
I naturally started to think that.
If I remain together with Rudeus, I will most likely be spoiled by him.
That luscious sensation is still remaining deep inside my stomach.
A bit unsatisfactory almost.
This wretchedness is a characteristic of the Greyrat family.
Unexpectedly, Rudeus might not be all that strong in that sorta way.
Rudeus who is giving it his best, he even makes this direction feel lost.
That is something that shouldn't be done.
Even if that is said, after all I like him.
I have no intention to marry another man like Alphonse said.
In the first place, trying to live as a ladylike noble's child at this point is already impossible.
In the first place, even if you tell me to give it my best for the sake of the unacquainted people of our land, it doesn't come to me.
In the first place, I can't understand why I would have no choice other than to do such a thing.
Grandfather and Father and Mother are all already gone.
Fedoa region as well is already gone.
In that case, I as well will throw away the name of "Boreas".
However I am still my Grandfather's grandchild, and my Father and Mother's daughter.
I have no choice but to live with a steel willpower.
I will become strong.
I thought that all over again.
After I part with him, I'll train more and more.
At the very least, until I've done enough that I can stand shoulder to shoulder with Rudeus.
It's fine even if I can't win against him.
However, at the very least, I want to become a woman who is in harmony with Rudeus.
I want to become a woman who won't be talked about or pointed out by being by his side.
It's impossible for me to live cleverly like Rudeus.
That's why I'll seek out strength.
Ghyslaine and Ruijerd and Gisu all said it.
I have talent with the sword.
From the time I met Rudeus until now, I've never once thought I was strong.
However, I'll believe in the words of those that have allowed me to grow.
Following Ghyslaine's suggestion I'll go to the Holy Land of the Sword.
There, I'll become a strong swordsman.
I will be the swordsman and Rudeus will be the magician.
The male and female roles are reversed.
However, that's fine for us.
After I grow, after I become strong, we'll meet once again.
At that time, I'll take one step forward as family and become a couple.
I'll give birth to his child and we'll live happily together.
Yeah.
Let's do that.
Now then, but, how should I separate...
Rudeus is skilled with his words.
Even with everything he might try to hold me back.
Saying he's worried about me going alone, he might follow along.
Putting himself aside, he might try to follow along with me.
Leave behind a letter?
However, even if I leave behind a letter, I'll probably leave some kind of trace behind of where I'm going.
After seeing that, if Rudeus were to come chasing after me it would be terrible.
It's not good if he continues to be held back by me.
He's a person who will steadily move further into the future.
I don't want to drag down his future as well.
During these times, swordsmen in stories usually just leave without saying anything.
However, Rudeus hates those sorts of things.
During our travels we had enough reports, communication methods, and meetings to make ones' mouth sour.
It's not like I wanted to be hated by him.
Alright!
I'll just leave behind a single line.
And with that, I'm certain Rudeus will understand!
Part 4
–Rudeus Point of View–
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning, it's a good morning isn't it virgin fellows!
Virginity is only forgiven until elementary school it seems, but are you all okay?
Oh my, I was no good. Haha... I'm soon to be 13 years old after all.
If we were to convert it I would be a middle school student. Haha!!
And then Hello, non-virgin fellows!
From today on I'm joining your group as well!
It's the so called, real fulfilling life, sort of thing right!
I couldn't have possibly imagined that I would be included on that side, but as a real fulfilling life beginner please warmly show me in.
They say there's no point fighting among the rich after all, let's just get along together!
You know that rumor that masturbating feels better than sex? Yeah, that's a lie.
After all, when masturbating that, or this, or the mouth, or below aren't attached.
There's no meaning to it if you don't taste their entire body.
Sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, everything to satisfy you is there.
I wonder if that's what's no good.
[Don't think you're a boyfriend just because you held her once], such a line is out there.
I get what you want to say.
Though you know.
How do I put it... you know.
If you circulate your hand around her lower back, then hold onto her tightly.
And then she'll put her hands around your back and hold you tightly.
The rough breathing that can be heard next to your ear, the gaze which intertwines together if you look at her face.
If you lick around her mouth she'll offer her tongue, and then the upper mouth and the lower mouth will both turn into a flood.
It feels like, reciprocal things become reciprocal and then it turns into a hustle.
Would that be the spiritual satisfaction I guess?
Requesting love and giving it.
That is? For a person who is used to it, they may be thinking, don't be mistaken right.
However, that's impossible for a beginner like me.
I'm totally going to put on the face of a boyfriend.
And then since we're both beginners there's no problems.
I'm sure even Eris will want to put on the face of a girlfriend.
Oh my my my, excuse me. This was a topic that is a bit too stimulating for the virgin fellows wasn't it.
Excuse me, excuse me.
I as well you know, I think I should calm down a bit more as well though you know.
I've had 47 years of bodily experiences.
After getting my hands on something that I never had in that time, I'm a bit restless.
Oh my, in this case it would be letting go of something wouldn't it?
In the past I thought if it ever came down to it I would stay COOL but...
Hahaha, it ended up being something that I couldn't control very well!
Oh my? It's already this time, huh.
Please excuse me, I have previous plans to have morning pillow talk with her.
No, real fulfilling lives are really quite busy after all.
Especially the plans for at night are busy right!
Tonight again we'll go with Beast Mode and Burning Time.
It could be that we are even busier in the afternoon.
Look Eris, it's morning.
Wake up, if you don't wake up I'll play a trick on you~
And she's not here.
The other side of the bed is empty.
She always gets up early after all.
Even though it was already decided that the first morning would have pillow talk and a coffee break.
Really now, she's so shy.
"Alright."
I get up.
The area around my hips is returning a good listless feeling.
Thanks to this, I realized in an instant that last night wasn't just a dream.
It's truly a good feeling.
For the time being I'll put on the clothes scattered around.
I found my pants but I can't find my underwear.
Since there's no helping it I'll put on my pants with no underwear, Eris' panties were on the side of the bed, so I put them into my pocket.
After putting on my coat I did a big stretch.
"Hnnn? It's good."
I've never felt a morning as refreshing as this before.
And then there I noticed there was something scattered on the floor.
Something red was scattered about.
"Eh??"
It was hair.
Bright red hair had fallen to the floor.
"What is up with this?"
I grabbed a clump of that hair and sniffed the scent of it.
It was the scent I smelled a lot last night of Eris.
"Huh??"
While confused I shifted my gaze in front of me.
And then I noticed a single piece of paper was left there.
After that I picked it up, and read the letters written there.
"Right now, Rudeus and I don't match up together. I'm going off on a journey."
That meaning I carefully tried to digest.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds.
I ran out of the room.
I look at Eris' room.
There's no luggage.
I quickly ran outside.
I entered the headquarters.
I found Alphonse.
"A...Alphonse-san, where is Eris?!"
"Together with Ghyslaine, she left on a journey."
"To...to where?"
After hearing that Alphonse looked at me with a bit of a cold expression.
And then he slowly opened his mouth.
"I was told not to disclose it to Rudeus-sama."
"Ah?? I see."
Huh?
Why?
I don't know what is going on.
Huh?
Why am I trembling?
No, I was thrown away?
I was left behind?
Huh?
Family???
Huh?
Part 5
I spent about one week in a daze.
Sometimes Alphonse would come by and give jobs to me.
I thought there was nothing left in Fedoa region, but it seems that small farming villages are gradually increasing.
If you move a bit away from the refugee camp, then you can find that cultivation of wheat has started.
Following what Alphonse said I created a protective earth wall around the village and created a bank on the river to prevent it from flooding.
It was slow, but the reconstruction was progressing.
Although, the main stream cultivation wasn't set to start until they bring all the immigrants from Milishion supposedly.
It seems they were going to go with the fact that Eris died.
Eris Boreas Greyrat has passed away, and just Eris was born.
Thanks to that it seems that a variety of matters are going to be difficult, so Alphonse isn't planning to announce it officially until several years later.
In order to receive the assistance from that Darius guy or something.
Well, it doesn't really matter at all.
Even without Eris, Alphonse is making a face like nothing happened at all.
When I tried mixing jokes in and saying it's unfortunate that Eris ran away, he ended up saying, regardless he's just focused on the reconstruction of Fedoa region.
And just like that he carelessly repeated it.
In reality it seems like he was supposed to listen to the situation more beyond that.
However, since Eris is no longer around, he just started to feel like it didn't matter at all.
He's already fed up with being thrown around by political strife and people doing things at their own convenience, that kind of feeling.
Then if you were to ask what I was thinking about during that one week.
I was always thinking about the reason why Eris disappeared.
That night I was thinking back on my own actions and conduct.
However, even if I think back to it, all that would come to mind is a pink colored scene.
All of my memories were overwritten by that moment.
It could be that I was lousy in bed.
Since I attacked her with all of my desires, she might have been disillusioned.
No, that is strange, the one who attacked her is me, but the one inviting should have been Eris.
No, I can't say that.
I was tired of courtesy.
If I think about it, these past three years, there's been nothing but mistakes throughout the journey.
In terms of result most of them turned out good, but it ended up with us being saved by Ruijerd.
Eris probably didn't want to be followed around for another two years by such a partner.
That's why she paid in advance on the promise to get it over with and then said goodbye.
I don't understand the reason why she took up such suggestive behavior, but...
For the time being, that's right, I arrived at a conclusion.
In the end, I hadn't grown at all.
It can't be helped that I had grown tired of courtesy.
That's right at that time when I had given up, I suddenly remembered it.
"Ah! That's right, I need to search for Zenith or else..."
Just like this, I set out on a journey to the Northern part of Central Continent.