Chapter 201 - Every Second Was Worth It
It was weird how her mind worked but she was suddenly reminded of the night they shared at the cave. She could feel the warmth of his big, hard body. His richly masculine scent mixed with the smell of the rain and wet ground. Her body was falling under his spell and she knew that she should snap out of it. She should be scared of him now that she saw what he could do. He was the man who put her in danger… and yet saved her as well. She was filled with mixed emotions. From fear to anger and confusion.
"You… You're working with Si Guanlin…"
"I beg to differ. I am not working with him," he corrected. His smile was both wicked and captivating, making her chest tight. "He is working for me."
"W-why? H-how can you do this to me?" Tears welled up in her eyes. His betrayal, their betrayal was wringing her heart, draining the blood from it. She has placed her trust in them, especially Si Guanlin. She still couldn't understand what made him betray her when all this time, she has shown nothing but goodness to him. She quickly jumped out of the bed.
"Leaving already?" He was still indifferent as ever. From the looks of it, it seemed like he was not planning on telling her what he knew yet. He was just calmly sitting on the mattress, staring at her with cold eyes.
How could he still act that way when she already had her memories back? She felt suffocated just by looking at him. How could she trust him again after what he did? He has stepped on it over and over again.
"W-Why Liwei?" She was not able to stop her tears from falling. Did Han Yizhou know? Or was it also hidden from him?
Despite wanting to take another step to leave the room, she couldn't do it. It was as if the man's gaze was enough to make her stand still on the ground. The pressure coming from him was so intense that she felt like the Devil himself was in front of her. She had so many questions in mind but she feared that if she learned the answer to those questions, she might just end up hating him more. She doesn't know what to do anymore. Was it wrong for her to blindly trust the people around her? She lowered her head, tears flowed down her cheeks, dripping from her chin to the ground. Her fingers curled to her palm. She couldn't understand why they were doing this to her. All this time, she had always tried to be a good person, she helped others when they approached her but all the kindness she showed to Si Guanlin didn't change him. He ended up backstabbing her. For what? She couldn't understand why? She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. She has always tried to keep her head high but now, it was so hard to do it. She had always tried to chase for the light in this dark world no matter how many times she fell.
Lu Mengjie felt her knees give up. Her body staggered and was about to fall but her arms were caught by a strong grip. She was pulled into the man's hard chest.
"This is not like you."
She found his words a joke. She scoffed in response. "Do you even know me?" She slowly lifted her head to look at him with spite. "I don't think I know you anymore…"
His gaze hardened at her. "You have never known me… but you knew my other self."
That's right. At least the person she knew was the real owner of the body but… he was gone. At least that was what she believed. She hung her head low once again as she finally confessed, "I give up." Her hands fell on the side. "You want me to stop approaching you… so I'll leave. I'll leave Han Yizhou."
She felt his grip tightened, making her flinch. "That's what you want, right?" She also has her limit no matter how persistent she has always been. Others may see her as a strong-willed woman but inside she had a sensitive heart especially when it came towards the people she cared for.
"That may be what I want." He loosened his hold on her arms. "But tell me, why did it change into you?"
She was surprised by his words but the sound of his voice was icier and darker than ever. She carefully arched her neck to gaze at him but she ended up wincing upon receiving the gravity of his looks and the severity of his glare.
"I can't seem to sit still. I'm having trouble concentrating. I can't to get you out of my mind. I'm always fucking restless, even while I'm at work." Throughout the months, even when Han Yizhou hadn't found out her location, he couldn't stop thinking about her. That's why he tried his best to separate Han Yizhou from her. With him around her meant that Yong Liwei has to see her often too. He was afraid that he might end up yearning for her too. "I'm too busy to devote my time to you, yet… you've put me under siege." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as he let out a deep laugh.
Her tears seemed to have stopped as she continued to look at him with wide eyes. The way he showed his expression was so different from what he was saying but she knew how demanding his work had to be so she couldn't help but apologize in reflex. "I-I'm sorry…"
"Don't be." This time, his gaze softened. It was surprising enough for her to see him look at her with gentleness and warmth. "Every damn second was worth it," he finally confessed.