BXBX NOVEL Chapter 50
Chapter 50
Chapter 50
“Thank you for the kind response, Selena. I’ll be leaving first.”
Lavrenti stood up from his seat and greeted Selena.
Although she managed to stand up somewhat awkwardly, Selena was in a state where she didn’t even know if she was returning the greeting properly, and after Lavrenti disappeared from her sight, she hesitated and sat back down.
“….”
“Because it’s not a relationship whatsoever.”
Throbbing―
It hurts. It feels suffocating, as if something is stuck inside. I want to scream out loud with all my might.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t show any signs of pain. Because I have no right to. Regardless of the process and reasons, the conclusion remains the same.
‘I was the one who rejected Karl. He accepted it, and the fact that I can’t go back to that time is also true. And because of that, when it comes down to it, my relationship with Karl is undoubtedly nothing.’
Now, even if I want to go back and change things, would it happen as I wish? It’s greed. No, beyond greed, it’s rude behavior.
It’s behavior that doesn’t consider the other person. It’s more selfish than ending things and trying to negotiate a new start.
“Sigh….”
Regretful. The feeling rushes in like a flood, making me feel suffocated. It’s a feeling of being unable to undo anything.
Most of all, what’s unbearable is that even though I know it’s futile, I can’t erase my feelings for Karl.
I keep wanting to do better. Despite knowing it’s selfish, I still do. Despite knowing it’s futile, I still do. Despite knowing we have no relationship, I keep trying to create one…
“Selena?”
“…Karl.”
“What are you doing?”
Karl, sitting opposite me. Selena, who had been staring blankly at him, sighed with a puzzled expression.
“What, what’s up? Weren’t you supposed to go to the Imperial palace?!”
“I went, took care of everything, and came back.”
“To take care of what….”
“I met with His Highness the Crown Prince and had a casual conversation.”
“….”
That’s not something you casually talk about! His Highness the Crown Prince! His Highness the Crown Prince!!
The future emperor of ours! You know that, Karl?!
I felt my common sense crumbling. Looking at it this way, Karl felt more and more like someone from another world, even though he’s a person of this world.
“Do you want to know what happened?”
I’m curious. Not about what the Crown Prince said, but about what happened to Karl.
I want to hear that story. I want to have more conversations, laugh more, and support each other more. If he has any concerns, I want to listen carefully and give advice.
Laugh, chat, and then suddenly smile for no reason at all. I found myself wanting to do things with Karl that no one else had done before.
“…No. It’s okay.”
But I shook my head. I wasn’t confident. Could I really approach him as if nothing had happened?
Is it possible to act selfishly and self-centeredly after pushing him away first?
I thought I could do it someday. But no, I couldn’t. It seems impossible.
Today, I realized it. Despite being colleagues, or even friends, Karl and I are not more than that.
Yeah. Regardless of Lavrenti’s words, me and Karl were nothing. And couldn’t be…
“Don’t say that. Tell me. Selena.”
“…Huh?”
“You should ask. So I can ask Lavrenti what happened earlier.”
“Huh? What?”
What, you know I met with Lavrenti?
Selena was taken aback.
I thought he just arrived, but since when had he been watching?
* * *
Curious. Dying of curiosity. Why was Selena meeting Lavrenti?
I was wondering, but those four were teasing me.
“Hehehe! Work hard, Karl!”
“Amen! You have to work hard. When there are two beauties like that.”
“Hey, you never know. There might be more.”
“Is this polygamy…?”
Starting with Shulifen, then Wilhelm, Alexander, and finally Joachim.
Four of them spoke with ominous smiles, making me feel uneasy.
And adding to that, the fact that Selena and Lavrenti were meeting made it even worse!
I want to ask about the situation. But I can’t get a straightforward answer by just asking.
So I’ll make the first move. Hey, Selena!
“…What happened with His Highness the Crown Prince?”
“He’s going to award me another Medal of Honor.”
Selena nodded at my answer. For about, let’s say, 3 seconds.
And then she sighed, saying ‘Oh, I see.’ Then immediately after, she started spouting gibberish.
“Wait, wait a minute?! A medal?! Another Medal of Honor?!”
“Yeah. He said he’ll give me another one. He said he’ll come to the academy himself.”
“What! Unbelievable!”
Sure, receiving another award doesn’t make sense. Honestly, even I wonder if it’s okay.
Surely, if you look through the history of the empire, there are people who have accomplished far greater deeds than me. Those people received only one Medal of Honor.
Yet here I am, just a guy like me, receiving another award.
It’s so embarrassing that I feel sorry for those people. While others say I’m impressive enough…
Well, I don’t really know.
“So, does that make Karl the only person to receive two Medal of Honors?”
“Probably. But let’s leave out the ‘only’. Someone else might get one someday, right?”
“That time, Her Highness the First Princess came…”
“His Highness the Crown Prince will come.”
Cough!―
“His Majesty the Emperor showed interest, but I managed to stop it.”
Cough! Cough!―
Even though she hadn’t eaten or drunk anything, Selena coughed as if she had choked on something.
Wondering if there’s any water, I reflexively checked my waist. Looking for a water pouch. Seriously.
“Cough! Clunk! So, does that mean His Highness the Crown Prince is coming to the academy?”
“Probably. His Highness the Crown Prince seemed a bit solemn at first, but when we had a conversation, he turned out to be quite playful. He has both serious and carefree sides.”
It would have been nice if our platoon leader had some prince-like qualities.
“Anyway, that’s all for my story. Now it’s Selena’s turn.”
“My turn…”
“Why did Rav suddenly come here? The person who said she was going to see her family, why was she with Selena?”
“…”
Even to my question, Selena remained silent for a while. Just fidgeting with her fingers.
I considered urging her, but I didn’t really want to. And I felt like I shouldn’t rush it.
So, instead, with a smile on my lips, I waited for Selena’s response in a relaxed manner.
“…Karl.”
Me?
“What do you think about that person, Rav? What’s your relationship with Lavrenti?”
“…What?”
Such a sudden, completely unexpected question popped out.
I wanted an answer about what happened, so why did such a question come up?
“What’s with the sudden question, Selena?”
“Just as the question goes. Karl. What do you think about Lavrenti?”
“It’s such a sudden question that I’m not sure how to respond, but…”
Well, since she asked, I should answer. And perhaps my answer is somewhat connected to the answer Selena will give.
“Comrade, perhaps?”
“Comrade.”
“Yes, comrade.”
“Is that all?”
What else is there? Oh, right. I forgot.
“Rav calls me her master, but… To be honest, I only gave her a few words of advice, and that’s it. I think the title of master is too much. Rav managed everything on her own.”
“…”
Selena continued to look at me. As if asking if there was anything else left to say.
“That’s all, Selena.”
“Really… Is that the end? Comrade, and regardless, you’ve taught each other something.”
“Yes. That’s it, isn’t it? No matter how much I wish there was more, the only time I ever saw her face to face was for a few days at the front, and then I didn’t see her again until now.”
“I see.”
Continuously nodding her head, Selena threw another question.
“Then, can I ask one more thing?”
“What is it?”
“What… What’s our relationship?”
To that question, I almost reflexively responded.
“Friends?”
Yes. Friends. Friends and colleagues. Of course, there was a little embarrassing incident in the past, but now we’re able to laugh it off and move on, like good friends.
“Friends.”
“Yes. Friends.”
“I’m a friend. Rav is a comrade. Both are similar. So, who is closer to Karl, me or Rav?”
“Selena.”
“…Me?”
“Yes.”
Of course. As I said, I’ve only seen Rav for a few days. And we met again this time.
In contrast, I’ve seen Selena before I took a leave of absence, and even after I returned to school, for a few months. Naturally, from my perspective, Selena would feel closer than Rav.
“Thank goodness…”
I think I heard Selena muttering something to herself.
“It’s possible… We might not have any relationship…”
“Selena? What are you talking about? Saying we don’t have any relationship.”
“Huh?! Y-You heard that?!”
“A little bit? So, when are you going to answer? Why was Rav with you?”
“That? W-Well―”
Finally, Selena began to reveal the answer I wanted to hear.
“So… She came to ask about the reason why you and I became closer?”
“Um, yeah.”
“And the answer?”
“Well… I just said it was thanks to academy life.”
Nodding slightly as I mulled over Selena’s response. It makes sense.
Without the academy, there would have been no way for Selena and I to become close again.