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Chapter 8.2: Forgive Me Part 2

"......"

...Damn it.

This was why I tried to enter unnoticed.

Once I caught their attention, the aggro was insane.

-Gasp...!

-Hey, hey...!! Isn\'t that... Young Master Lishite over there...?!

-What...!? Didn\'t he drop out...?

-I guess he\'s going to class...! We\'re in the same class, we\'re doomed...!!

I could hear the whispers of the students.

Well... It was natural for them to be surprised.

The delinquent who had been disciplined by the most promising student of this generation six months ago and disappeared as if running away had suddenly reappeared.

...Well, the real reason Raiden disappeared wasn\'t because of Allen, but because of what his sister said.

But it must have looked that way to others.

\'Damn it... Anyway.\'

This is a bit tough, having all these eyes on me.

I cleared my throat, feeling a choking sensation in my throat.

You might think, "Why would someone who even participated in the world championships as a national representative care about other people\'s gazes?", but...

The gazes I received at the world championships and the gazes I was receiving now were completely different.

The gazes at the competition were filled with expectations, excitement, and thrill.

They were heavy, but not hostile.

But now,

clear hostility was directed at me.

Eyes filled with displeasure glared at me with malice.

-Sigh... We\'re really in the same class. This sucks...

-Is that the infamous Young Master Lishite? I\'ve never seen him before.

-......Don\'t even think about approaching him. Unless you want trouble.

Sighs, curiosity, contempt, vigilance.

And hatred, hatred, hatred, hatred.

Countless hatreds choked me.

"Ugh..."

I felt nauseous.

My ears were ringing, and it became difficult to breathe.

My head throbbed as if I had been hit with a hammer, and my vision blurred.

-You\'re still as pathetic as ever.

-I\'m sorry, Naru... Please don\'t talk to me anymore.

-Get lost...! Because of you, brother Chanho...!!

Voices from my past trauma echoed as auditory hallucinations.

Raw, unprocessed hatred cruelly pierced my eardrums.

"Gasp, huff..."

I felt my breath growing short.

I stumbled forward, biting my lip hard.

If I let go of my sanity for even a moment, I felt like I would lose consciousness.

-Because of me, everything\'s messed up.

-If it weren\'t for me, everyone would be happy.

-But I...

-Why... am I still shamelessly alive?

Stop...

Stop it. I\'m sorry.

I\'ll, I\'ll die again. So please forgive me.

Get out of my head.

If you want, I\'ll tear off this hateful face right now...

"Please, stop..."

Just as I was sinking into the despair and depression of the past,

a single mechanical sound rang in my ears, pulling me out of the abyss.

-Ding!

[Skill \'Iron Will\' nullifies the user\'s status ailments (panic disorder, suicidal urges, self-harm, trauma, etc.).]

[Due to the user\'s unstable mental state, skill \'Iron Will\' cannot completely block the status ailments.]

[The effects of the status ailments are greatly reduced.]

"Gasp, cough, huff... huff..."

The sticky feeling that was consuming my head subsided in an instant.

I gasped for breath, trying to catch my breath.

The wave that had passed like a typhoon left a chilling aftertaste.

I could taste blood on my tongue, probably from biting my lip too hard.

I ran a hand through my hair roughly and let out a tired sigh.

"......Damn it."

I almost lost my mind.

If it weren\'t for Iron Will, I would have probably jumped out of the window by now.

It felt like someone was stirring my brain while I was still conscious.

-Ding!

[Are you alright?]

"Y-Yeah... I\'m okay..."

I wasn\'t okay at all.

It was a terrifying feeling, to experience such intense suicidal urges after so long.

I had lived every day of my previous life surrounded by this kind of despair.

...How did I even manage to live until I was twenty-two?

I steadied my trembling steps, still trying to calm my nauseous stomach.

Despite my hazy mind, I had somehow managed to arrive at my destination. My feet were now in front of the classroom.

I reached out with a weak hand and pushed the door open.

-Creak

The heavy door creaked open.

As I stepped into the classroom, the bustling atmosphere inside instantly fell silent.

I looked up and saw countless students staring at me with hardened expressions.

"Ugh..."

I tried to ignore the screams of my heart, which had started pounding again.

The effects of \'Iron Will\' should still be lingering, but it was difficult to control my body.

\'If I collapse here, it\'ll be really embarrassing...\'

Clinging to my consciousness, which felt like it was about to fade,

I sat down in a seat at the very back of the classroom.

As my legs gave way, my head naturally fell onto the desk.

I curled up, burying my face in my arms.

"......"

But even with my eyes closed, the gazes directed at me didn\'t disappear.

No... They intensified.

The students stopped their conversations and started whispering about me.

-What the... Is that Young Master Lishite...?

-Young Master Lishite? Do you mean the infamous Raiden Lishite?

-Didn\'t he drop out...?

-What should we do... Today\'s lecture is on a difficult topic, so we need to pay attention.

-Sigh... This is going to be a mess again.

The faint hostility I could hear gradually choked me.

If I were the delinquent Raiden, I would have snapped at them, asking what they were staring at.

But I wasn\'t in any condition to do that now.

"Gasp... Gasp..."

I felt short of breath.

I was dizzy.

The palpable hostility and the voices from my past life mixed together in my head.

-You\'re collapsing from just this much?

-Because of you, my sister...!! Bring my sister back! Bring her back!!

-I\'m sorry, I\'m sorry, Naru... Your brother has to go somewhere far away.

-If it weren\'t for you, brother Chanho would...!!

No.

-Naru... You promised... you\'d stay by my side...

-...You liar.

No.

It wasn\'t intentional.

-Ding!

[The severity of the status ailment (Trauma) is increasing. A small crack appears in the skill \'Iron Will\'.]

If I had known that all those misfortunes were caused by me,

"Young Master Lishite, why are you here?"

I wouldn\'t have yearned for the warmth of others, and struggled so desperately.

"Are you ignoring me?"

So,

"Young Master Lishite?"

I\'m sorry.

Forgive me.

"Raiden!!"

While I was drowning in panic,

a delicate voice calling my name rang in my ears.

I came to my senses and looked up to see a female student standing in front of my desk.

Blazing crimson eyes.

Long, silver hair that reached her waist.

A beautiful appearance and a curvy figure that was clearly visible beneath her neat uniform.

I knew her.

"Margaret...?"

Margaret Phyler.

The eldest daughter of the Phyler family, one of the three great Ducal families of the Empire.

A top student who always maintained the highest grades at the academy and a girl known as the flower of high society.

And...

"Are you... alright...?"

Raiden Lishite\'s ex-fiancée.

A connection from the past stood before me.