BXBX NOVEL Chapter 130: Sisyphus
Chapter 130: Sisyphus
Walking from the center of the seats to the middle aisle, everyone stood up, either applauding, smiling, or reaching out to pat him on the shoulder in congratulations. That short path seemed endless, filled with a surging crowd occupying every corner of his vision. Bright lights blurred his sight, turning all the scenes into dazzling, unfocused points of light, leaving only a wave of heat enveloping everything.
His steps felt as if they were treading on cotton, his mind blank, moving forward on sheer instinct toward the spotlight ahead. This path was so long, beginning from a meticulously planned childhood, through a laughter-free, joyless adolescence, enduring a dreary, immobile life on a sickbed, passing through a dark, confined passage after death, experiencing another rigid childhood in this life, soaring through a carefree, rebellious youth, and facing the crossroads of parental rebellion and estrangement.
Finally, he had made it here.
"You can only rely on yourself, no one can help you. Dreams and freedom are the most useless things."
"You\'re not a genius; that\'s just an illusion. You\'re just one of millions of mediocre people. Stop daydreaming; it will only make your life more miserable."
"You have fifteen minutes to rest. Don\'t play with those kids; they\'re no good for your future. If you want, you can sit and read to relax your mind."
"Disgraceful. Acting is not a dream, not even a profession. It\'s a family\'s shame."
"...Can\'t do this!" "This is useless..." "Reality does not allow dreams to exist." "Freedom and dreams are self-comforting excuses of the poor..." "No!" "Forbidden!" "Rejected!" "Impossible!" ...
Cold and cruel words were like sharp blades, stabbing into him, leaving him covered in wounds.
Two lifetimes felt like an endless nightmare yet fleeting like a drop in the ocean. Step by step, he resembled Sisyphus from Greek mythology, pushing a heavy boulder, bearing one denial after another, persevering foolishly, relentlessly, and with blood and sweat, hoping one day to push the boulder to the top. His journey, though stumbling, was marked by blood-soaked determination.
It wasn\'t to prove himself, but merely to prove that life isn\'t just about harsh realities but also foolish dreams; to show that besides "living," life could have other meanings.
He knew the Emmy was only the first step, a tiny one, but he had finally taken that step, hadn\'t he? After two lifetimes, it had been a long, long wait.
"Congratulations!" Tina Fey stepped forward, giving Renly a polite hug, then stepped back with a bright smile, sincerely repeating, "Congratulations!"
Renly took the trophy in his hands, examining it closely. The slender woman embracing an atom, the Muse with outspread wings, soared freely in the shifting lights. A year ago, his parents\' ultimatum of "foolish persistence" echoed in his mind. Emotions surged uncontrollably, and the golden trophy blurred in his vision, casting a golden haze over the world.
Raising his head, the blurred glow before him, the applause began to fade. The brilliant starlight still shone. He opened his mouth, but the sound stuck in his throat, a muffled syllable escaping as emotions overwhelmed him. Even Renly was caught off guard, his two decades of learned composure crumbling, reason surrendering entirely.
Everything felt so unfamiliar.
He thought he would be rational and calm, that he would gracefully display gentlemanly demeanor, humorously control the scene, and accept the award with nonchalance and confidence, as if everything was within his expectations. He thought he didn\'t care.
But imagination was always just that. When the moment truly came, when he was in it, all preconceptions shattered instantly, like a tornado ravaging everything, disregarding all norms and rules.
Collecting his thoughts, the cold metal of the trophy seemed to warm in his grasp, the strong heartbeat pounding in his chest, as if ready to burst. That feeling of floating away from the ground left him at a loss.
Taking a deep breath, he said, "...This truly is a surprise, and an unexpected one. I think I need time to calm down, or my nose might start running." Renly joked, but the thick nasal tone betrayed his suppressed tears. He couldn\'t help but laugh, feeling utterly embarrassed. Laughter echoed from the audience.
"Al, I\'m sorry, but I\'m the one standing here." Renly looked directly at Al Pacino in the front row, nodding slightly. Al laughed, shook his head, and gave Renly a middle finger, prompting collective laughter from nearby guests. "I don\'t know what to say because my mind is blank. I can\'t even remember the name of the show. God, I have so many people to thank. Now I understand why people prepare acceptance speeches in advance."
Self-deprecation mixed with a hint of irony brought whistles of support from the audience, creating a warmer atmosphere than he had imagined. "Hmm...I\'m not a genius." This was the only thought in Renly\'s mind, from George\'s harsh conclusion. He thought he didn\'t care, but deep down, it haunted him like a nightmare, persisting until today. "But I\'ve always worked hard." His trembling voice gradually steadied, confidence returning to his chest. His right hand tightened around the trophy, its weight and metal texture grounding him.
The sense of solidity was reassuring.
"So, thank you, Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, for giving me this opportunity. Thank you, Rami, James, and my fellow cast members for guiding me. And of course, thank you to the Emmys for this recognition." Simple words of gratitude, yet profound in weight. Renly finally understood why acceptance speeches were often so lengthy and filled with unfamiliar names. Behind the glamorous fa?ade of an actor lay countless unsung heroes.
Emotions surged, "I still remember my first scene. I botched it by staring directly at the camera, a rookie mistake of epic proportions." His candid confession left the audience stunned while "The Pacific" crew burst into laughter, whistling and cheering, making Renly laugh too.
"You can imagine how hard the crew worked to maintain quality. So, there are many people to thank, but I\'ll do that later because our crew is enormous. I\'m not sure when I\'d finish otherwise... I can almost hear the broadcast director sighing in relief." Renly\'s quip brought another round of applause, his wit and humor earning admiration. "So... thank you, thank you for showing Sisyphus that dreams can come true."
He stepped back, nodding politely before turning around, searching for the exit. The host and Tina, waiting behind, laughed at his confusion. The host stepped forward, guiding Renly and Tina off the stage.
Backstage, the noise, the excitement, the lights all dimmed. People smiled politely, congratulating Renly, but that was it. Tina patted his shoulder again, smiling, "Well done, enjoy tonight," before turning to leave.
The joy of winning, the exhilaration of proving himself, the thrill of achieving a dream\'s first step... all gradually subsided.
This was just the Best Actor in a Limited Series or Movie award, the Emmys were just a start, and "The Pacific" was merely the beginning. Beyond himself, no one would care. Life, work, and exploration continued. Countless awards awaited in the path of acting. More importantly, the pursuit of acting was a personal journey, unrelated to awards. Any slackening would halt artistic progress.
Looking at the trophy again, the joy remained, but the exhilaration began to settle into calm. The excitement turned into motivation and relentless pursuit. Two lifetimes of experience taught him that this award strengthened his confidence and courage. No one could stop him, not even George and Elizabeth.
On stage, the ceremony continued, awards finding their recipients. The aftermath of the unexpected upset was just beginning to unfold.
Every year, new talents emerged, and this year was no exception. This year\'s upset was particularly notable, not for Bryan Cranston\'s three-peat, not for Jim Parsons\' first win, nor for the rise of "Modern Family," but for Renly Hall, an unknown who defeated favorite Al Pacino.
Wait, who? Everyone shared the same confusion, "What did I miss?"
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