BXBX NOVEL Chapter 320: Making Enemies
Chapter 320: Making Enemies
With a beaming smile, Ricky walked onto the stage and nodded to the audience below. Interestingly, there was a pint of beer placed on the podium. Ricky approached, took a small sip, and smiled contentedly. "Good evening, everyone! Welcome to the 68th Golden Globe Awards. We\'re broadcasting live from the Beverly Hills Hilton in Los Angeles, and tonight promises to be a night of partying and drunkenness."
The audience cheered softly, and Ricky nodded in agreement, "Of course, for Charlie Sheen, that\'s just breakfast."
It all made sense now why Ricky had the beer; he was gearing up to roast Charlie. Lately, Charlie\'s scandals had been one after another, shocking to the point where even the paparazzi couldn\'t keep up. Unsurprisingly, Charlie was absent from the ceremony.
"Let\'s get this straight." Ricky adopted a serious tone, beginning a rambling review of recent scandals. "He hired an \'adult film star\', paid her for dinner, and introduced her to his ex-wife. Can you imagine?" Ricky shot a sarcastic smile at the audience.
Laughter broke out from the far end of the room, where the seating had been opened for the public to avoid dead air. But Renly glanced around at those seated near him—many were indifferent, not reacting much to Ricky\'s jokes.
Ricky shrugged, signaling his helplessness. "Then they went to a hotel, got completely smashed, stripped, trashed the place, and locked the girl in a closet. And it was a Monday! Can you imagine what he\'d do on New Year\'s Eve?"
The laughter was strained. Ricky\'s humor was clear, but his jabs felt too personal. A clever host would\'ve stopped after the first "breakfast" joke, leaving just enough for the audience to get the hint without crossing the line.
Renly found it absurdly funny. Ricky was a famous British comedian, and perhaps his humor worked well in the UK, but here in America... it wasn\'t as politically correct. Renly suspected tonight\'s Golden Globes would be quite entertaining.
Sure enough, Ricky continued, "This was a big year for 3D movies: \'Toy Story\', \'Despicable Me\', \'Tron: Legacy\'... It seems every film was 3D, except for \'The Tourist\'."
The crowd\'s reaction was slow—half a beat before they laughed. Ricky shook his head, showing an apologetic smile. "I\'ll admit, I only made that joke to fit in. I haven\'t seen \'The Tourist\', and apparently, neither has anyone else."
Car crash.
That was the only thought in Renly\'s mind. He could see Angelina Jolie, nestled in Brad Pitt\'s arms, looking stiff.
The cameramen, usually ready to capture the stars\' reactions, were frozen in place. The atmosphere at the A-list tables was too tense, and no one dared speak, let alone smile.
This awkward silence contrasted sharply with the laughter coming from the audience in the back. Renly exchanged glances with Ryan and Jennifer, realizing they were all suppressing their laughter, struggling to keep straight faces.
"But this movie must be good because it was nominated," Ricky added, trying to carry on the joke. "Now, shut up, okay?" Renly knew the situation would have been better if he\'d stopped here. Everyone could have laughed it off. But Ricky pushed forward.
"I need to clear up a ridiculous rumor: \'The Tourist\' wasn\'t nominated just so the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie."
Renly\'s peripheral vision caught Johnny\'s expression, cold and stiff behind his sunglasses, which he hadn\'t removed since the show began. Renly thought to himself, \'This car crash is far from over\'.
"It\'s complete nonsense!" Ricky continued. But before Johnny and Angelina could breathe a sigh of relief, Ricky delivered another punchline. "That\'s not the only reason. The members were also bribed."
Johnny laughed through clenched teeth, barely maintaining the polite smile expected at an awards show.
"This isn\'t true, of course. They just took the members to a Cher concert." This time, there was no laughter. The crowd\'s expressions were filled with discomfort. Yet Ricky kept going. "What kind of bribe is that? Who even wants to see Cher? Obviously no one! Why not? Because it\'s not 1975."
Renly could feel the daggers from the audience directed at Ricky. The show director, visibly stressed, rubbed his forehead, while Tom Hanks glanced over with an expression that screamed confusion and a hint of anger.
Renly knew that if Ricky had understood limits, the first joke should have ended at "breakfast," and the second at "no one saw it." Instead, the disaster continued.
"Many popular films didn\'t get nominations. \'Sex and the City 2\' got none. But I bet the Globes\' special effects department did visit their poster design team. Especially their brush squad." This time, the audience laughed, even the \'Sex and the City\' crew themselves. If Ricky had stopped here, it would have been perfect. Unfortunately, he didn\'t.
"Ladies, we all know your real ages. I\'ve seen you in \'The Golden Girls\'. Jesus."
Renly could see Angelina Jolie slamming her purse on the table. Helena Bonham Carter shook her head repeatedly, and Annette Bening looked stunned at her tablemate, Jacki Weaver, as if questioning what she\'d just heard.
The blatant sexism was impossible to ignore.
The car crash continued: "Another film without a nomination was \'I Love You Phillip Morris\'. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, two straight actors playing gay lovers. It reminds me of some famous actors who believe in Scientology. Their situation is the opposite."
This jab was aimed at Tom Cruise and John Travolta, two actors constantly rumored to be closeted gay men.
This time, the audience outright booed. Renly was taken aback.
In 2005, when Chris Rock hosted the Oscars, he pushed the boundaries with many inappropriate comments, but even then, no one outright booed. At most, there was just awkward silence.
Now, Ricky looked genuinely confused by the audience\'s reaction. He raised his hands helplessly, "It could happen, right?" The boos continued. With a slightly nervous laugh, Ricky explained, "My lawyer told me to be careful with that joke." That finally eased the boos. He waved it off, "Anyway, they\'re not here."
At least some sense remained.
"I was going to mention an actor and a ballet dancer switching places, but now I think I\'ll jump to the TV section." Ricky threw another subtle jab at Natalie Portman.
Though he didn\'t name names, Renly could feel the tension at their table. Natalie\'s smile froze, her polite demeanor barely holding up.
"Some great shows this year. \'Boardwalk Empire\', \'The Walking Dead\'..." Ricky used \'The Walking Dead\' as an excuse to roast Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, who at 84 was marrying a 24-year-old. He made lewd jokes about their bedroom life, acting out scenes with exaggerated expressions, holding his hand, mouth, and body in suggestive positions—for a full 15 seconds.
The room was stunned. This was live television with no rating restrictions. Though the joke was fine, the delivery was wildly inappropriate.
When the audience didn\'t respond to his humor, Ricky shrugged again and took another sip of beer, clearly disappointed. But Renly could feel the heavy silence around him. Everyone nearby had dropped their fake smiles, struggling to maintain composure.
It reminded Renly of the 2004 Super Bowl incident when Justin Timberlake tore off half of Janet Jackson\'s top.
"Besides Hugh, there\'s one more person who\'s lying about his age—Renly Hall. I\'m convinced he\'s only fourteen. I\'m not sure what deal he made with Steven and Tom, but clearly, it\'s not one I want to know about. However, it seems to have worked; he got two nominations, just like Johnny Depp."