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Chapter 183 - 184: Exploring the Human Heart



“The card you’ve drawn is the King, epitomizing the pinnacle of patriarchy. Patriarchy has deeply influenced you, especially during your upbringing. I can infer that your father had a bias for boys over girls, am I correct?” After Xiao Qian finished speaking, the boy was astonished.

“You can tell all this? You’re quite something, lady. I’ve been dealing with Tarot for years and this is the first time I’ve come across someone who can say so much from a single card. What else can you see?”

‘Tm sorry, but the influence your father had on you was not positive. His patriarchal thinking has caused you ongoing distress. You see, the King in the card is holding a sword, radiating a chilling aura, which indicates that you and he don’t have a good relationship.”

“What’s your name, lady? Let’s be friends. I’m Xiao Miqiu, but you can call me Qiuqiu.”

‘Tm a psychologist, Chen Xiaoqian.”

Dong Yi watched the whole interaction astonished, watching Xiao Qian manage to bamboozle Qiuqiu.

Throughout the journey, Xiao Qian had a good chat with Qiuqiu about Tarot; they seemed to hit it off instantly.

The train was bound for the northernmost point of the country. Xiao Qian and Da Yi got off halfway.

As they were getting off, Qiuqiu gave Xiao Qian his box of Tarot cards.

“Rarely do I find someone I can relate to this well, this is for you.”

Xiao Qian held the box, whispering in Qiuqiu’s ear, her voice barely audible, “It’s not your fault that God played this cruel trick on you. Regardless of whether your family understands you, I hope you will find the courage to continue living. If even death doesn’t scare you, why should you fear the judgmental looks of others? Live your life courageously.”

“You!” Qiuqiu was so surprised his sunglasses fell off.

“Therefore, you should keep this card. If we’re destined to meet again, we can discuss Tarot then.” She left the ivory box on the table and disembarked with Dong Yi.

A few words had changed a person’s life.

Looking at the box, Qiuqiu pondered Xiao Qian’s words. He looked at his ticket to the final stop, again and again. Perhaps, he thought, he should get off the train sooner than planned. He might not reach that final destination of his life after all.

Watching Xiao Qian’s retreating figure through the train window, Qiuqiu murmured, “The psychologist, Chen Xiaoqian… truly an incredible person.” Dong Yi made a vow that she was not a curious person.

But after getting off the train, she was definitely curious about what Xiao Qian had said to Qiuqiu just now. Why did Qiuqiu look so taken aback?

“Da Yi, are you curious about why I talked so much today?”

“Yeah.”

“Consider it my good deed for the day. Even though I see myself as a psychologist who only cares about money, I would still offer free consultations to people who move me.”

“Just now, were you giving that person therapy?” She seemed to have missed it. All she saw was Xiao Qian chatting about Tarot with Qiuqiu.

“Not exactly therapy, but sometimes, for people desperate to end their own lives, just one empathetic sentence can stop them from acting impulsively.” “He was planning to commit suicide?!”

“He seemed cheerful, but he didn’t ask for my phone number. He mentioned he was going ‘far away’ but had no luggage, and he even gave away his most precious possession casually. This indicates that he might have planned to commit suicide somewhere far away with his girlfriend. But he is a kind soul and probably went on the trip alone so his girlfriend wouldn’t suffer.”

“I…don’t understand, why would someone want to commit suicide if they’re okay?”

“Because simply put, she is one of God’s cruel jokes.”

Xiao Qian looked at the blue sky, “She is struggling with Gender Identity Disorder. This is the kind of impossible question for us psychologists, where no matter what we suggest or do, we’re wrong.”

“Huh?” Dong Yi had never heard of this term.

“God played a cruel joke on her. She has the heart of a man confined within the body of a woman. Based on my observations and analysis, she is not just a common homosexual but genuinely perceives herself as a man. This belief is likely connected to the influence of her father during her childhood.”

So the card interpretation was entirely made up by Xiao Qian. She had guessed Qiuqiu’s history just by scanning her.

Dong Yi was stunned. To a good girl like her, homosexuality was a remote concept, let alone Gender Identity Disorder. And what was even worse, she had just sat face-to-face with Qiuqiu and hadn’t realized that she was a girl!!!

The Mohawk hairstyle, the thin body, the rather deep voice, the tall figure, in every way she resembled a man!

“Boss Qian, how could you tell?” At this point, Dong Yi held Xiao Qian in reverence, almost like a god.

“Experience. I have encountered more than 20 tomboys, they acted more masculine than most men, and the common trait is their considerate nature. You know, there’s a saying that once you start dating a lesbian, you’ll never want a man again. That’s because they know what a woman needs and provide a 360-degree experience of love, caring about every detail, which is more touching than what most men can offer. How many men would take care of their girlfriends so well and know what they want just by noticing a single glance.”

Dong Yi was speechless, her eyes wide open as she listened to Xiao Qian.

She was a good girl, and all this was too shocking for her!

“‘Tomboy’ refers to the ‘male’ role in a lesbian relationship. Only a minority thinks of themselves as men like Qiuqiu. They don’t use women’s bathrooms, avoid public restrooms, don’t wear feminine clothing, and even their manners, actions, and the way they walk… everything is just like a man’s.”

Dong Yi swallowed hard, “Boss Qian, you, you—– ”

“There was a time when I suspected myself to be a lesbian because I despised men. But when I went to a gay bar, I realized that I disliked women too. That was until I met Xiao Qiang. Da Yi, your eyes are gonna pop out. I’m not sexually deviant. My interaction with them were work-related.”

If Gender Identity Disorder occurs during childhood, it is manageable. But like in Qiuqiu’s case, psychologists are helpless once it progresses to this stage. While academically, hormone treatment is recommended, but based on cases in the future, that might only exacerbate the situation.

In Qiuqiu’s case, despite her male psych, being injected with estrogen to enhance her feminine characteristics would just intensify her agony, pushing her possibly to commit suicide.

“Boss Qian, why do you always seem to meet people with problems? I feel like there’s no normal person around you…”

“Among the crowd, ordinary people see other ordinary people, but they can’t see the heart behind their exterior. The world we see is definitely different from what ordinary people see. Take Qiuqiu for example, to an ordinary person, she would be seen as a regular man.”

It’s not that Xiao Qian is surrounded by too many psychologically abnormal people, but to the ordinary person, these people are just slightly quirky normal folks.

Ironically, those with psychological disorders don’t recognize their illness, and others don’t know these slightly strange behaviors indicate illness either. As a result, a psychologist who can perceive all of this is deemed an oddity in this world..


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