Chapter 199: Not Good at Listening
“Nowadays, families only have one child, or at most two, so this isn’t very obvious. But if it were earlier years when a family had several children, this situation was quite common: two children in a family, one very obedient and the other very mischievous. When the obedient one has problems when they grow up, it’s always a big problem.”
Mother Yu’s expression became serious, “Xiao Qian, what do you mean by all this?”
“Obedient children tend to have more psychological issues, which is a common phenomenon in psychology. The core of human nature has an ‘innate inner core’ that makes us want to be independent individuals who can control ourselves. However, when a child grows up wanting to be an obedient ‘good child,’ their instincts become suppressed. When they should be able to think independently, conflicts will arise with their damaged innate core.”
“Suppression…” Mother Yu shed tears.
She never thought her obedient second son had been suppressing himself all these years.
Xiao Qian pretended not to see her tears and continued.
“Take Ming Lang, for example. He was a naughty child since he was young, but his innate core was satisfied. He has a better understanding of the value of life and authenticity.”
That’s why Yu Minglang dared to choose what he wanted and dared to choose a woman like Xiao Qian. It’s all because Yu Minglang knew what he wanted.
“But the problematic child is a very intelligent child.”
“It has nothing to do with intelligence or stupidity; it’s instinct. I boldly speculate, Aunt, is there at least two or more children in the problematic child’s family, and he ranks in the middle or behind siblings?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“I have been studying this area recently, and my professional courses led me to it. After having a second child, some older children become very obedient, and parents are pleased to say that the child has become sensible. But what can a child of just a few years really understand? It’s all instinct!”
“Instinct?” As Mother Yu recalled, when she gave birth to the third and fourth children, who were twins, Yu Mingyi became very attentive in helping her. He suddenly seemed to grow up – from a mischievous child to one who cared for his younger siblings after school.
“When there are no new members in the family, he may be the child that parents pay attention to. But suddenly, when a new member arrives, the parents have to take care of the baby more. So, to win their parents’ attention, he can either be naughty or obedient to receive praise.”
After the second-child policy was introduced, these situations became particularly common. Some parents would proudly say that their eldest child is very obedient, but they don’t realize that a child just a few years old is already trying their best to win their parents’ praise and attention.
Helping to take care of the children will win the parents’ admiration. ‘Look, my child Guaiguai is so sensible.’
To cater to their parents, some children will comply, satisfying their elders. But when they are said to be blindly devoted, have you ever thought about who caused it?
“I really didn’t know any of this…” Mother Yu turned around and wiped her tears.
All this time, she had taken pride in her obedient second son and thought he was the most worry-free child, but she never realized how much she had let him down.
“Telling your child to be an obedient good child too much at a young age will put shackles on their ‘innate inner core.’ So from the perspective of psychology, these good children are more likely to have problems when they grow up compared to naughty children.”
“What should we do now?”
“The best way is to communicate with the child more from a young age and let them feel the love of their parents. However, seeing a psychologist when they grow up might not be as effective, especially if they’re too smart and have strong suppression. They may react negatively to psychotherapy. You’re a doctor, so you should know that if there’s resistance to antibiotics, it becomes a terminal illness.”
Xiao Qian saw Mother Yu’s shocked expression and felt that she might have been a bit cruel, but she had to say it.
“Assuming, your friend’s child holds a position in a special department and has no issues with regular psychological examinations, but he feels uncomfortable in some aspects, it would be pointless for him to see a psychologist… They can only let nature run its course. Actually, there are many cases like this, but some people just don’t happen to hold important positions or pose a threat.”
But it doesn’t work for Second Brother; his position is too special, and any change in his mental state can be dangerous. Xiao Qian looked at people passing by outside the window. Many people’s marriages and jobs were interfered with by their parents, but they just weren’t pilots, and they could barely get through their lives.
Mother Yu would never have imagined that her outstanding second son would hate the blue sky and flying. And it was most likely due to the unintentional influences she and her spouse brought upon him when he was young. This realization was a massive blow to a loving mother.
“How could it be like this?”
“Actually, from the parents’ perspective, it’s understandable. Parents aren’t gods; they can’t always take everything into account. As long as it’s not a principled psychological issue, it’s not a big deal. Aunt, look at all the people in the world; who can be perfect?”
In that era, breaking barriers to be able to feed and dress their children properly was already considered a great feat. Who had the time to think about such details?
Mother Yu wiped her tears and felt genuinely guilty for her child. But there was no way to undo the situation. Was letting her child leave the sky and live the life he wanted really the best choice for him?
Xiao Qian made this judgment. She believed that Yu Mingyi would have to change his career, or at least stop flying.
What Xiao Qian didn’t expect was that someone could treat Yu Mingyi, even when she couldn’t.
Upon returning home from Xiao Qian and Dong Yi’s place, he suddenly discovered that the folder he had left on the coffee table was gone.
After thinking for a while, he guessed that it might have been taken by his mother.
Mingyi picked up the phone, intending to call his mother, but then put it down with a calm expression.
Since the secret he had been hiding for so long was now known to his parents, his father would probably come to settle the score with him soon. At that time, he could just tear up the resignation report as his father wished.
After all, this was what he had expected. He just didn’t know how much longer he had to bear this unhappy life…
Mother Yu held the child and headed back home. By the time they reached Qiang City, it was already dark, and Father Yu was waiting for her to have dinner.
“You’re back! Hurry up and eat! Why are you so late today – old woman, what’s wrong with your eyes?”
Mother Yu handed Panpan over to Aunt and quietly handed her husband Yu Mingyi’s resignation report from her pocket.
Father Yu didn’t know why his spouse was so serious. He took the report, and after reading a couple of lines, slapped the paper on the table angrily.
“Nonsense! This little brat is getting carried away! It costs more to train a pilot than to manufacture an airplane, and he dares to throw in the towel! Bastard! I’ll show him!”
Father Yu stormed out, but Mother Yu suddenly burst into tears..