Chapter 183: Laura De Charles Rosenberg
As Ferzen looked at Laura’s mother, he withdrew his hands from his sleeves, which had become straight.
It wasn’t difficult to discern the purpose of her visit.
Laura suffered from the Full Moon Curse, which meant she would have to participate in the war, whether she wanted to or not, to address her curse.
If she refused to go to war, she’d have no choice but to reveal her secret. However, that path would lead the Rosenberg family to a fate similar to that of the Claudia family – they’d be purged.
Thus, Laura had no option but to try to convince her parents.
Ferzen didn’t know the excuses she had used, but the fact that her mother was here personally seeking an answer was telling.
‘……I suppose that’s the case.’
Ferzen had long been aware that Laura’s parents harbored the belief that Laura and him were in love.
His keen perception would’ve made it unusual if he hadn’t noticed this.
That’s why he had made clear statements in the past to help dispel this misconception.
However, looking at the current situation, it seemed his efforts had failed.
Moreover, it appeared that the excuses Laura had used were an extension of this unresolved misunderstanding.
In Veronica’s eyes, their love was something that couldn’t be torn apart, not even by war.
Flinch-!!
Laura, standing behind her mother, lowered her head, her slight frame trembling as her eyes met Ferzen’s.
She wasn’t sure how he was processing this situation.
In fact, he had probably comprehended all that had transpired between Laura and her mother without any misunderstanding.
Laura had, of course, offered a long list of other reasons to her parents.
But from Veronica’s perspective, she could only see a daughter who was willingly risking participation in a battlefield she could entirely avoid due to being blinded by love.
Out of the three people, Laura herself was the most distraught. Although she had done the deed with him, it was almost in the form of rape.
Rather than affectionate sex, it was closer to the blind mating that animals did. Setting that aside, will Ferzen really be able to resolve this situation smoothly?
First, he would have to declare that he would accept her as his concubine.
Second, he would have to explain to her mother why he did not stop the woman whom he was supposedly in love with from joining the battlefield.
Honestly, rather than going through that process, it would be much more comfortable to just say that she was related to the Genova Bloodline and ask for it to be kept a secret.
Since so much time had passed, it would surely make the relationship between them way better than a hierarchical relationship that was similar to that of a simple master and slave.
However, even if she wanted to do that, she didn’t think that their relationship was deep enough to cover up this situation, which would result in one side incurring a loss.
“Let’s change places first, ma’am.”
“Let’s do so, Count.”
At Ferzen’s words that broke the long silence, Laura’s mother left the garden and headed to the drawing room, as if she had been waiting for it.
At first glance, it appeared that she was very displeased about the current situation as she cruelly abandoned her own daughter, Laura, and walked alone.
But in reality, she was asking Ferzen to come to a mutually agreeable solution that could convince her.
Both Ferzen and Laura knew it too.
So, when Rimble followed Veronica who was walking away, they both fell into silence once again.
“……”
To be honest, from Ferzen’s point of view, this whole affair was a headache.
Since he did not want this situation to happen in the first place, he gave Laura a clear message to clear up the misunderstanding that her parents had.
“……”
Laura also knew just how much of a burden she was to Ferzen, so instead of looking at him, she just stared at the top of her feet.
However, since it was already spilled water, keeping her mouth shut wouldn’t change anything.
“Yo-you can……”
“What?”
“Y-you can…… Take t-the easiest w-way out……”
“Do you know what that means?”
“…… ”
“Your father, who took someone from the treasonous blood of Genova and bore you, and your mother, who raised you believing you to be her own daughter, walked in a parallel line from that moment on. I have heard that they had a really good marital life, and if we bring it up and try to resolve the situation now, their marital life would all come crashing down.”
It was clear to her that Ferzen was greatly mistaken, but Laura did not bother to point it out.
After all, who would believe that she was suffering from a curse that was engraved on her soul through her reincarnation?
However, as memories of her parents, who had given her so much affection during this life, although shorter than her previous life, flashed through her mind……
It seemed like they would definitely believe his words, no matter how absurd his words were.
From Ferzen’s point of view, Laura’s parents would find his words absurd, so he wanted things to proceed according to that picture.
She just had to confess that truth to her parents herself in the future.
“A-after all…… It’s I-imposibble for me…… To be tied…… O-on your side forever……”
Of course, she was also concerned about the option of becoming his concubine and living under his care forever in case she could not cure the curse that was engraved on her soul.
However, since a war was already on the horizon, Yuriel couldn’t afford to become pregnant.
The circumstances were not easy for him to accept her as his concubine.
So it wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to give up and prepare to live on her own.
……No, actually, it was a bad idea.
Firstly, she was not sure whether her parents would believe the absurd fact. Even if they did believe it, would she be able to safely take care of her curse without Ferzen’s help?
Furthermore, even if she could take care of it, wouldn’t the secret leak out at some point?
……Wouldn’t it be better for her to just kill herself in this life too?
Laura’s mind was tangled enough to the point that she thought about such a thing. To be honest, she was willing to put her face down to the ground and beg him. She wanted to ask him to bear with this whole situation.
…… But Laura didn’t do that.
Ferzen, who knew about her secret, had kept it under wraps until now in exchange for using it as a leash to keep Rosenberg as his pawn.
But did he really benefit from Rosenberg?
The battle for the throne was already over, and Rosenberg was the one who would have benefited from the fact that she stayed by his side for a long time.
Ferzen von Schweig Brutein.
At the very least, she could see that he was the one who fully shouldered the responsibility from the moment he put the leash around her neck.
His responsibility did not stretch beyond that point, so Laura stopped herself from begging for more.
Rather than due to her pride, Laura was simply attempting to be considerate of Ferzen, who had cared for her until now.
“……”
After hearing Laura’s words, Ferzen slowly turned his head to take in the scene of the autumn garden.
Just as before, whenever he looked at Laura, he felt a strangely unpleasant sense of kinship.
In a macroscopic sense, it could be described as hatred towards someone who was similar to him.
However, in a microscopic sense, it could be seen as him hating himself.
The curse she suffered wasn’t much different from the severe obsessive-compulsive disorder he endures.
That was probably why her actions, whether struggling to overcome it or clinging to a miserable compromise in frustration, seemed like his own actions from the past.
If you think about it, wouldn’t her future experiences have also been predetermined?
If she didn’t even try to break the shackles of her curse, she would have to live her life in fear.
If she insisted on breaking it with death, she would live the life of Isabel Ron Pierre Genova.
It was something that two people had already proven based on their one and only life. In either case, it seemed more unhappy than happy.
So, was it truly impossible for people like him and her to pursue happiness that wasn’t tainted by even a shred of misfortune?
“Laura.”
“……”
“Laura De Charles Rosenberg.”
“Yes……”
Laura lifted her head at the sound of Ferzen’s voice calling her name. Ferzen could see his past self, suffering from severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, overlapping with her appearance.
“I don’t have any feelings of love for you.”
“……”
“It may be difficult for me to see you as a woman in the future.”
“……”
“Moreover, since your Full Moon Curse is something inherited from your bloodline, you’ll have to claim that you are infertile.”
In the culture of the current era, being a woman who couldn’t have children carried a heavy stigma. In addition, she would have to give up the idea of marrying the man she loved and having a harmonious family.
So, even if she understood this in her head, it would be challenging for her heart to accept.
But if Laura said that she would endure it all, Ferzen was willing to extend his hand to prevent her from falling apart.
“W-why……”
Laura hesitated, unable to accept the sweet, irresistible offer. After all, there was no apparent benefit for Ferzen in doing this.
“……”
And Laura’s question naturally became a question that Ferzen asked himself. So he couldn’t give Laura a straightforward answer and simply closed his mouth.
The reason for lending her a hand, a clear motive for doing so, there was probably only one. The path that both Isabel Ron Pierre Genova and Ferzen von Schweig Brutein could not walk……
He wanted to see her, a reflection of himself, pursue a happiness that was close to his ideal.
Rock-paper-scissors with himself in the mirror would always give the same result. If he could change the result……
At least it would give him a little more courage when he had to confess his ugly side to Euphemia and Yuriel.
He still didn’t know whether his child, who would be born soon, would suffer from the same OCD he had or not. So, rather than being anxious about it, he felt like he should help his child overcome it, hold them in his arms, and look at their lovely faces with his own eyes.
“I can’t tell you.”
“……”
“Finding my reasoning while staying by my side would add a small meaning to your life that does not sound bad in your case.”
The lives of Isabel and the man named Ferzen would be good teachers for Laura. If she could use their trials and tribulations to find happiness, from Ferzen’s point of view, there would be no better footsteps to follow.
Of course, he might not be able to achieve the same results if he walked the same path she walked.
However, it could be seen as a form of self-satisfaction. It could even be called vicarious self-satisfaction.
But he didn’t think it had any meaning. Just as a person with an ugly appearance could not look at their own reflection in the mirror.
Both Ferzen and Isabel were like that too. If only Laura could take the first step that both of them had been unable to take until now – to face herself completely – a lot would change.
“Laura de Charles Rosenberg.”
“……”
“What do you want to do?”
With that question, his right hand reached out to her. Laura let out a faint laugh at her own inability to even think of the option of rejecting it.
Why did she become so weak?
It was sad that she couldn’t even make her own life choices and had to follow what others suggested. But, she didn’t hate it at all.
When someone released an animal that had its instincts neutered because it was raised by humans, it wouldn’t be able to adapt and might even die.
The woman named Isabel, an elemental wizard of unparalleled talent and determination who had ended her family’s tragedy with her own hands…… Had already found comfort in being submissive to one man.
Yes, it would be nice if she didn’t have to turn away from this choice. Maybe that’s why the body from her past life ended up in his hands.
Rustle-!!
Laura, who soon came to a conclusion, carefully took Ferzen’s outstretched hand.
“……”
Obviously, she had almost never come into contact with his body while she was in complete control of her own body.
But, why did his big, warm hand feel so familiar?
Perhaps, it was because her instincts remembered the feeling of him touching her body countless times while she was being consumed by her curse.
Unconsciously, Laura moved her hand and clasped their fingers diagonally. She moved like a pet expressing affection for its master by rubbing its face against its owner’s body.
“Ah……”
Realizing it a bit too late, Laura hurriedly tried to pull her hand away…
“Let’s go.”
Ferzen, who was still holding her hand, began to walk.
“Laura.”
“Ye-yes……”
“Did you know that there are places where the sun doesn’t set below the horizon?”
“Yes……?”
“It’s a phenomenon called the midnight sun.”
Flinch-!!
Ferzen could feel Laura’s body tremble slightly as he spoke those words.
It was probably because she didn’t expect to hear those words from him and was surprised that he knew about the phenomenon, which wasn’t explained in detail by the author.
“The poles are located in the north and south. When we reach there, we’ll be able to see the midnight sun for ourselves.”
Everything that the author didn’t explain in great detail in this world was based on Ferzen’s original knowledge.
There would be no difference from the knowledge ingrained in Seo-Jin’s memory.
“Once the war is over, it would be nice to go on a trip to find that place.”
“……”
“Struggling is never ugly.”
In fact, it would be uglier to comfort oneself by thinking that giving up is a good thing.
“There will come a day when you can tell yourself that you did a good job of not giving up.”
So, he wanted her to overcome today, which was blocked by an endless night, and face tomorrow with confidence.
As Ferzen remained silent after delivering these words, Laura raised her head to look at his face while hiding her feelings.
‘You’re… really a cruel brat.’
Since a child born from the mixture of their blood would suffer from the same curse as her, she couldn’t bear his child.
She perfectly understood his words about how he couldn’t see her as a woman and couldn’t love her.
But even if he didn’t love her.
‘At least…….’
She should try to make him love her.
……Obviously, he had never treated Laura de Charles Rosenberg as a woman.
……However, the girl standing next to him had now shed her immature shell and had become a full-fledged woman more than ever.