BXBX NOVEL Chapter 447 - Shouldered Weight
Chapter 447 - Shouldered Weight
“Haaa, haaa.”
His breathing became heavy. He clenched his chest as his vision blurred.
‘More, more...’
His sanity was being devoured. His ego and emotions were being vaporized by flames, leaving only his desire.
“Fu...ck.”
Kang-Woo crouched down and bit his lip so hard that his teeth dug into his flesh. He was thirsty. He was hungry. He was lacking.
Whoooom!
The golden barrier surrounding the area disappeared.
“M-my child!”
Kang-Woo could see the fully healed Gaia approaching him. He walked over to her naturally to devour her flesh.
“A-arghh.”
He suppressed his steps with all his might. He clenched his hair and gritted his teeth, frantically holding on to the thin thread that was his sanity.
‘This is... bad.’
No, it wasn’t bad. This was normal. He had always been like this. What was so wrong about a demon staying true to his desire?
“Haaa, haaa.”
Kang-Woo could see a black sea. An endless abyss was looking at him. It was not Bauli; it was something far more enormous. It was an infinite darkness.
‘What... the hell?’
Kang-Woo turned his head. He could see three doors of different sizes, which were keeping the darkness at bay, being drowned up by the black sea. No, that was not the right way to describe it.
‘They’re... becoming one.’
He couldn’t understand. He couldn’t think straight.
The abyss stared at him and said, - What’s wrong?
Kang-Woo could hear the laughter of an innocent child.
- This is what you desired, isn’t it?
He wanted to get stronger by eating so that he could win and protect what he cherished. He wanted to do whatever it took, whatever the cost.
‘For...ward.’
- That’s it.
‘Forward, forward, forward...’
Kang-Woo’s consciousness faded.
***
“Gasp!”
Kang-Woo sprang up. He looked around and saw white walls. He was in one of the rooms of the Hall of Protection.
“You’re up, my king.”
Kang-Woo heard Lilith’s voice. She was reading a thick pile of documents as she sat next to the bed.
“What happened?” Kang-Woo asked.
“The war ended with Odin’s death. Olympus won.”
“...”
“Gaia has remained in the divine realm to negotiate with the opposing faction. Your quick disposal of Odin resulted in minimal losses from both sides or so I’ve heard.”
“I see.”
“...”
“How long was I out for?”
“About three days.”
“...”
Kang-Woo stood up with an anxious expression. He immediately checked the amount of Divinity within him, but he could barely feel a difference compared to the amount before Ragnarok. He had not managed to achieve Transcendent-rank Deific Essence.
“...”
Kang-Woo frowned aggressively.
‘I rested for three goddamn days.’
The otherworldly invasions could begin at any second. Bael could bare his fangs at any second. He could not afford to waste even a single millisecond.
‘I have to get stronger.’
He was nowhere near powerful enough.
‘More...’
Kang-Woo’s eyes turned yellow and his horizontally stretched pupils shone chillingly.
‘What should I do?’
Kang-Woo had thought that he would reach Transcendent-rank Deific Essence by devouring Odin, but forget acquiring it, he did not even manage to obtain a single clue.
‘Was Odin not enough? In that case, if I devour Gaia... as well as Elune...’
He was sure that he would be able to if he did.
“Yeah.”
If it was not enough, he simply had to eat more. It was the most simple and surefire solution.
“I’ll start with Gaia—”
“My king,” Lilith interjected.
Kang-Woo turned his head to her. She was staring at him in sorrow.
“Why did you do it?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, why did you incite the war between the gods?”
“That was because Odin—”
“No.” Lilith firmly shook her head and said coldly, “You did it, didn’t you?”
Kang-Woo remained silent.
Lilith narrowed her eyes. “It wasn’t like you, my king.”
“It wasn’t like me?”
Kang-Woo feigned laughter.
‘Wasn’t like me? Then should I have stayed true to ethics and morals like Reynald and held hands toward a better future?’
“I’ve always been like this,” Kang-Woo claimed.
“No, that isn’t true.”
“Bullshit. I’ve done far worse things than th—”
“And you’ve done those things only when you were sure that the other party was an enemy. You only took such action when you were certain that they would get in your way. You’ve never run wild like a madman like you are doing now.”
Silence fell. Kang-Woo couldn’t deny it. Gathering allies and reducing enemies had been his fundamental survival tactic in the Nine Hells. He didn’t take into account whether the targets that he devoured were good or evil, but he at least never hunted those that would not get in his way.
“I am not saying you shouldn’t have killed Odin. The problem is how you did it.”
“...”
“You were far too sloppy.” Lilith continued coldly, “If Gaia did not have the utmost trust in you and Odin hadn’t lost himself in his rage, the fact that you were the culprit of this incident would have easily been exposed. To be honest, your plan only went without a hitch because the gods are as moronic as they could get. Jeez, thinking about it even now, they were insanely stupid. How could they not have figured it out? Their intelligence as a whole must have dropped down a few pegs after being stuck in the divine realm for so long...”
“...”
“Whatever the case, it wasn’t like you at all, my king.” Lilith stood up and walked toward Kang-Woo. “If you were your usual self, even if you wanted to devour Odin, you would have picked a fight only after eliminating as much of a chance that you would be exposed as possible.”
“...”
“My king.” Lilith gently grabbed Kang-Woo’s hands and stared at him with deeply sunken eyes. She asked, “Why are you so impatient?”
“...”
Impatient was the perfect word for it. It was not a problem that Kang-Woo killed Odin; the fact that he incited Ragnarok and caused gods to kill each other was not of importance either. Lilith couldn’t care less about those things. The problem was Kang-Woo’s current state. He was impatient as if he was being chased by something.
“Why am I so impatient?” Kang-Woo frowned aggressively and glared at Lilith with his teeth bared. “Why... you ask?”
Was she asking because she didn’t know? Did she seriously not know the reason why?
“Because I have to get stronger. If I don’t eat and become stronger... if I don’t manage to win and protect what I cherish, I’ll...” Kang-Woo bit his lip and muttered, “I’ll... lose to that son of a bitch again.”
He lowered his head and recalled his loss. He had the Demon God’s heart stolen from right under his nose. He recalled Bael cackling at him. Although their battle in the Nightmare Forest did not decide a clear winner, the result itself had no doubt been his loss.
‘I can\'t stop him.’
He wasn’t sure whether or not he would have won even if he opened the Doors.
‘No, I probably would’ve still lost.’
It would have been a different story if Kang-Woo had let go of his sanity entirely, but he likely would not have been able to win if he kept hold of it. Besides, the end result would have been the same if he had let go of his sanity; if the Demonic Sea were to be fully unleashed... this world would without a doubt come to an end.
‘And he even managed to get his hands on the Demon God’s heart.’
Kang-Woo’s chance of victory had been reduced even more. At this rate, he would lose again.
“My king.” Lilith placed her hand on Kang-Woo’s cheek, her eyes filled with sorrow. She gently caressed his cheek. “It’s not like you have never suffered a single loss in your life.”
The Demon King’s path of conquest had not been clean of defeat; he had lost, been trampled on, and crumbled countless times. Despite that, he crawled his way up from the bottom and ultimately ended came out victorious.
“There is no need for you to be this impatient just because you lost to Bael once,” Lilith remarked as if scolding Kang-Woo.
Kang-Woo’s eyes shook. “No need... to be impatient? Just from losing once?”
He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Ha. Haha. Haha.”
Kang-Woo burst into laughter; it was a sorrow-filled laughter as if he was wailing in tears.
“Don’t... bullshit me.”
Kang-Woo gritted his teeth and glared at Lilith fiercely. Lilith was right. He had faced defeat countless times in the Nine Hells. He overcame those defeats and came out victorious.
But...
But...
But...
Slam!
Kang-Woo punched the wall. He ignored the hunger strangling him and the thirst burning him alive. He trampled on his surging desire. Once everything disappeared, only he was left. Not the savior of the world, not the Demon King who ruled the Nine Hells, not the master of the Demonic Sea, but the human Oh Kang-Woo.
Something came bursting out. Something that he had been suppressing within him with all his might exploded.
Kang-Woo shouted, “I CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE A SINGLE TIME ANYMORE!! I BECAME STRONGER THROUGH DEFEAT? I CRAWLED MY WAY UP TO THE TOP? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY DIED IN THAT PROCESS?!”
They had died. Countless subordinates who had pledged their loyalty to him died in the most atrocious and wretched ways possible. They had died, died, died, died, died, and died again. They continued to die until their corpses made a giant hill.
“I HAVE TO FUCKING GET STRONGER! I HAVE TO KEEP WINNING!”
Forward. Forward. Forward. Forward. Forward. Forward. Forward. Forward. Forward.
He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t break. He couldn’t fall. If he were to collapse, Bael would bare his teeth at the people who followed him.
“THEY’D ALL DIE, SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!” Kang-Woo screamed in desperation. “DO YOU THINK NUMBERS WOULD HAVE ANY EFFECT ON HIM? HUH? OLYMPUS? ASGARD? GUARDIANS? THEY’RE ALL MEANINGLESS TO HIM!!”
Boom!
Kang-Woo stomped his foot. In the end, there was no one but him who was a match for Bael. If he fell, there was no one else.
He continued desperately, “I... have to get stronger.”
He needed to get stronger. He needed to fight and win. Running away was pointless. Even if he escaped somewhere far away from the Triad, it was only a matter of time. Bael would devour the Triad and come for him; wherever Kang-Woo was, Bael would eventually come to find him and devour everything he cherished.
“I...” Kang-Woo panted heavily and lowered his head. He mustered the words. “I... have to win.”
He could not afford to lose even once. He could not afford to let the things that happened in Hell to repeat.
Lilith remained silent.
This was the first time she had seen such a vulnerable side of Kang-Woo after all the time they had spent and the countless battles they had fought together.
‘Just how long had he been desperately holding on for? How long had he been suppressing these emotions?’
She couldn’t even begin to imagine.
“Master Kang-Woo.”
She did not address him as her king. The man in front of her was not the Demon King. He was the human Oh Kang-Woo, who had been crushed under the weight of that title.
“It must have been... so hard for you.”
Lilith took Kang-Woo’s head and embraced it tightly, patting it as if she were comforting a hurt child.
Kang-Woo remained silent.
He lowered his head as he was in her arms. He recalled the faces of countless people. They were the faces of Han Seol-Ah, Lilith, Balrog, and Kim Si-Hun. Not just them; the gazes of Cha Yeon-Joo, Echidna, Layla, Iris, Halcyon, Vaal Zahak, Uriel, and countless others were staring at him. They had a hold on him. They were the ones he was shouldering; they were the ones that he needed to shoulder.
“Yeah.”
It was hard for him. There was no way that it wasn’t. No matter how much he endured, and endured, and endured, and endured, and endured, and endured, and endured... Every time he tried to walk forward...
“It’s... so heavy.”
The weight he was shouldering was far too heavy.
“I feel like I’m... getting crushed to death,” Kang-Woo said as he wept, tears trickling down his cheeks.