BXBX NOVEL Chapter 466 - I Think It Made Me a Little Stronger
Chapter 466 - I Think It Made Me a Little Stronger
Anyway, after discussing with them about the meeting time and place for tomorrow, they went back to their inn.
But well, I was really tired from all the things that happened today. I felt really sleepy, partly because I hadn’t been able to sleep much recently due to the embarrassment I felt from sleeping together with the others.
I’d like to get a good night’s sleep just for today…… but it seems like that isn’t going to happen.
As I was thinking about the good night’s sleep that I will be having tonight, I opened the door to my bedroom and went inside.
There was no sign of Isis-san, Alice or Ein-san in the large room, but Kuro was sitting alone on the sofa eating a baby castella.
[Ah, Kaito-san. I’m back~~]
[…..Welcome back, have you finished your meeting?]
[Unnn. It was just a quick check.]
[I see…… Where are Isis-san and the others?]
After welcoming Kuro, who had returned from her meeting with Magnawell-san, I inquired about the absence of Isis-san and the others in the room.
[Ahh~~ I asked everyone to “leave me alone with Kaito-kun” tonight.]
[Eh? Is that so?]
[Unnn. Well, that’s how it is…… Oopsie-daisy.]
While telling me that Isis-san and the others wouldn’t be here tonight, Kuro moved to the bed and sat down. Then, she looked at me, gently smiled and held out her arms.
[Now, Kaito-kun. Come~~]
[Eh? W- What do you mean?]
I asked back to Kuro, who was waiting for me with her hands outstretched and a gentle smile.
[……You see, Kaito-kun have been through a lot today, haven’t you?]
[U- Unnn.]
[It’s alright. I’m the only one here. I’ve also put a ward around us, so not even Shiro can see us here…… that’s why…… Okay?]
[……Kuro.]
I don’t know if I should say that it’s to be expected of Kuro or not…… but I guess Kuro could really see through everything huh…… Ahh, I guess that’s why she said that we’ll talk again.
When I heard Kuro’s words, I approached her as if I were being sucked in her embrace, burying my face in her chest.
Without saying a word, Kuro hugged me, squeezing my head into her arms.
……It feels warm. There wasn’t any sound around me, only feeling Kuro’s warmth. Being held in her embrace is inexplicably comforting, and I felt as if I was being warmed from deep inside me.
[……I thought that it was completely clear to me.]
[Unnn.]
[Even though it was clear to me that there’s a really high chance that she’s someone else, that there’s no way that she’s my mother…… But when I was sure that she wasn’t Mom…… I guess I still felt disappointed.]
[……I see.]
Weak-sounding words…… naturally leaked out of my mouth.
[……But at the same time, I felt relieved that my expectation was incorrect, and was convinced that she wasn’t my mother.]
[……But you felt lost, right?]
[Unnn…… In the end, what did I want it to be? Did I want her to be Mom, or did I want her to be someone else? ……I felt strangely lost, not knowing what I wanted to happen.]
I can’t come to a good conclusion regarding Luce-san’s situation. I confessed that I have been feeling lost by my lack of a clear answer.
Holding my head in one hand, Kuro gently stroked my head with the other.
[Don’t worry, Kaito-kun…… There’s nothing wrong with having such thoughts.]
[Eh?]
[Your precious mother died, and you were sorting out your mind in regards to her memories, right? And just then, someone who looks exactly like your deceased mother suddenly appears…… It’s natural that you would expect something.]
[……Kuro.]
[The death of a loved one isn’t something you can just forget even if you try to. If you can’t part with them, you don’t have to. If you can’t find the answers, you can just not give any.]
They were words of affirmation that were too gentle to my heart. Her voice resonated deep within me, just like that time when she had once saved my heart on that night.
[After all, I think that Kaito-kun’s indecision…… comes from the fact that you still care about your mother. I’m sure you’ll be fine just the way you are.]
[………………..]
[Ahh, but you can’t just keep it to yourself, okay? It’s okay to be confused, and it’s okay not to have an answer to something…… But you don’t have to think about it all by yourself. Talk to me about it, okay? At that moment, I’ll be there for you as much as I can……]
[……Unnn.]
I’ve never told anyone about it, but I’ve always had one regret rooted in my mind. It’s about the fact…… that “I haven’t been able to properly say goodbye” to Mom and Dad……
When I was trembling with fear of death in the car after that accident, I felt my mother’s hand touch my cheek once. I’m thinking that perhaps, Mom and Dad were still alive at that time.
Of course, I know that there is no way I could have said that in that situation.
But still, I’ve always regretted how I haven’t been able to say “Thank you” or “Goodbye” to my parents, whom I loved so much.
I guess that’s why I had been expecting something. I think that was the reason why I hoped Luce-san was my mother, and I will get the chance to say the words I once couldn’t……
[……Hey, Kaito-kun? How about you sleep like this for the night?]
[……Unnn.]
[I’ll be embracing you throughout the night. So that you’ll never be alone, even in your dreams……]
[……Thanks.]
However, I think that I’m really okay now. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to part with my memories of Mom and Dad. If someone that looks like my parents appears again, I will probably expect something, ending up getting depressed again.
However, I’m sure it will be alright…… At least, I don’t have to worry about forgetting about my parents while I can’t part ways with them.
There are people by my side who can support my weak heart…… That’s why I can walk forward, even when I hold these emotions I couldn’t part with…… Even while carrying the death of my parents on my shoulders. Yes, this is something I’m strongly convinced about.
Dear Mom, Dad————- I’ve been struggling with a lot of things, but with the support of a lot of people, I’m going to be able to do my best again tomorrow. I don’t have any definite proof of this, but I think that today’s incident————– made my heart a little stronger.
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