BXBX NOVEL Chapter 66 – Rudine Eckhart (5)
Chapter 66 – Rudine Eckhart (5)
I mobilized people to track Kyle Winfred’s movements as discreetly as possible.
Kyle ultimately broke off his engagement with Isabel and left Winfred officially.
When I first heard the news, I was certain.
The reason Kyle left the estate was probably to seek the Holy Relic.
A sigh escaped through my slightly parted lips.
Suddenly, the information I saw in the “game” while following Lee Seung-jun flashed through my mind.
‘There was definitely no information about the rosary.’
The only thing the game’s lore mentioned was that the Holy Relic could open the dimensional door. Just that one brief sentence.
Lee Seung-jun does not know what the Holy Relic exactly is or where it is hidden.
So, probably…
‘Information broker Emily…’
Yes, that was definitely her name.
Although I don’t remember the details, she was the first to mention the Holy Relic in the game.
Emily is in the capital of the Empire.
But there’s a problem.
‘I can’t remember…’
I don’t remember her exact location.
It’s only natural, given that all I have are fleeting memories from following Lee Seung-jun around.
Lee Seung-jun will likely go looking for Emily.
And he will ask her.
What the Holy Relic is.
And where it is.
He will soon realize.
The Holy Relic is none other than the rosary around my neck.
And to obtain it, he will have to kill me.
“……”
Kyle Winfred.
And Lee Seung-jun.
When I meet him at the coming-of-age ceremony, what expression should I make?
Actually, there’s no need to worry.
Because my actions are already decided.
“Haa.”
I lowered my head, unable to manage my terribly twisted expression.
And I bit my lip tightly.
“When we meet…”
He will surely remember his previous self.
No matter what he asks me, I will only be able to lie.
An unbridgeable gap between us.
I understand it in my head, but it’s still unpleasant.
At that moment, a servant opened the door and entered.
Rudine blinked for a moment and then immediately called out to stop the servant.
Rudine scrutinized the servant from top to bottom.
After a moment, her red lips twisted slightly.
“Take this.”
“This is…?”
Rudine met the surprised servant’s gaze and gave a soft instruction.
“I’m looking for someone.”
The servant bowed.
And waited for her to continue.
“I’ve noted down as many characteristics as I can remember, so use this to find them.”
The servant’s shoulders trembled slightly.
This was due to the fierce light that flashed in Rudine’s eyes as they met.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
The servant, receiving the bundle of papers, bowed and left the room.
Rudine lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
And muttered to herself.
‘Kyle…’
I miss you.
Without you, I’m scared.
As expected…
This world is…
****
Finally, the coming-of-age ceremony began.
Kyle… no, Lee Seung-jun arrived as expected for her ceremony.
Yes, as expected.
Everything is proceeding as expected.
But.
— …Rudine?
I saw it.
In a very brief moment, his face twisted slightly when he saw me.
It was the expression of someone who saw something they didn’t want to see.
Does he hate me that much?
What does he think of me to make such a face?
Well, of course.
I also tormented Kyle in the previous run.
Why did I do that?
To protect Kyle from the Empress?
Because living somehow was better than dying miserably?
‘Nonsense.’
I didn’t want to make any excuses.
No matter what, it doesn’t change the fact that I contributed to his past, stained with pain.
I smiled brightly.
I completely masked my feelings and faced Kyle.
Then a voice came from behind.
— Oh my.
— Kyle?
Luna Winfred.
And.
— K-Kyle…!!!
— Here you are…!
Isabel Yustia.
Seeing those affectionate eyes, as if looking at a lover, made me want to run up and snap their necks immediately.
‘No.’
I can’t do that.
I have to endure.
As much as I wanted to kill both of them on the spot, doing so might twist the causality in an unpredictable way.
The world could stop again.
I might ruin Kyle’s carefully laid plans.
Still, the conversation with those damned women was quite unpleasant.
— Will it really be okay, Your Highness?
— Today is a monumental day when all the people of the Empire have come to celebrate your coming-of-age ceremony.
Rudine smiled brightly.
If she didn’t, her barely controlled sanity felt like it would spring out like a tightly wound coil.
Crazy bitches.
Isabel, Luna, and… me.
Swallowing the emerging contempt, she mustered all her patience and smiled.
And at the same time, she asked Kyle to be her escort.
Kyle was taken aback by her request.
He cautiously asked again.
— Are you seriously asking me?
Of course.
Even though you might not believe it, I have always been sincere with you.
She crushed the words that were on the tip of her tongue and swallowed them back.
They were words she couldn’t continue with a straight face.
Leaving the crumpled faces of Isabel and Luna behind, she moved forward with Kyle towards the main seat.
Everything was dazzling.
The elaborately prepared coming-of-age ceremony.
The dress encrusted with countless jewels reflecting light.
And most of all.
‘Lee Seung-jun…’
He exists for real.
I can hear his voice, and I can have a conversation with him.
Realizing this, an inescapable thrilling sensation bloomed in a corner of her heart.
For an immeasurable amount of time, this is all I have wished for.
Unimaginable happiness is right before my eyes.
It’s within reach if I just stretch out my hand.
But Kyle’s gaze was directed elsewhere.
She quietly followed his gaze.
And then.
‘The Holy Relic…’
He was discreetly looking at the area near her neck.
That gaze felt like a punch to the solar plexus.
Although she knew, the sensation still stung, and hot tears welled up in her eyes.
I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to be denied, nor do I want to be abandoned by him.
Rudine clenched her fists tightly.
Her mind, already pushed to its limit, wavered precariously.
And at that moment, a scream-like voice echoed in her head.
— No.
— Don’t say it.
A mournful cry resonating with sadness.
It was her own voice.
In truth, she already knew.
She was just a character in the game, after all.
So she also knew that in a world filled with nothing but fakes, Kyle had no reason to leave any lingering attachments.
I know… of course, I know.
A prison.
Yes, this place is a prison.
There is no freedom, no rights.
That place, where everything has come to a standstill, is a prison more brutal than death.
She looked at Kyle.
An indescribable emotion swirled in her chest like a vortex.
She didn’t know what this scattered emotion was.
Sometimes it felt like love, other times it seemed closer to one-sided obsession.
It shone brilliantly like a bright light but was as scorching as hellfire, sometimes pitch-black like an abyss, and other times as fragile as a candle flame about to be snuffed out.
It was unfamiliar and frightening.
But because of that, she didn’t want to give up.
I want him.
It’s the first true emotion I’ve ever felt since I was born.
I don’t want to resign myself to death, having given up everything.
I know too much now to do that.
— Hey, Kyle.
— May I ask you something?
So.
I don’t want to die.
— You know.
— I’ve really been looking forward to this day.
I want to be happy.
Beside you, together.
— Kyle.
— Kyle Winfred. My one and only friend.
I felt nauseated, and my breath caught in my throat.
The absurdity of a fabricated being dreaming of hope made me want to laugh out loud.
But.
Isn’t it better to be a dreamer than a corpse who can’t even dream?
I don’t know anymore.
Maybe…
— Have you returned too?
…Maybe I’m completely mad.
****
— Your Highness, we finally found her!
The Empire’s information broker, Emily.
They finally found her.
The reason for finding her was simple.
To find a way to extract the Holy Relic without dying.
To search for other methods to open the dimensional door besides the Holy Relic.
And to uncover the truth about the black mist.
But her answer was cold.
— Sorry, but you’ve got the wrong person.
— Common sense tells you that such a thing doesn’t exist, right?
Dark despair rose in a corner of my heart.
At the same time, I thought.
Lies.
Yes, that’s definitely a lie.
There must be another way.
While spending time searching for a method, I heard the news.
— It is reported that the Saintess has rejected the imperial decree, claiming divine authority.
Isabel Yustia.
That woman finally crossed the line.
It’s fine.
That’s just another stalling tactic in the end.
I’ll bring Kyle to the imperial palace.
Then we can slowly search for a method.
Once everything becomes clear, I’ll tell him everything.
My feelings.
The future I dream of.
Everything, all of it.
Won’t he understand my situation then?
Can’t I be happy too?
Yes.
I thought so.
— Kyle Winfred has taken his own life.
It felt like a blade had pierced her chest.
Her vision turned red with bloodshot eyes.
A hollow laugh burst out of her throat.
Is this a dream? Ah, yes. This is a dream.
It must be a dream… It has to be…
As I muttered lowly, my blurred vision cleared.
The stark reality, obscured by tears, was vividly imprinted in my sight.
A drop of blood trickled from my tightly bitten lower lip.
I looked around.
The world hadn’t stopped.
Everything remained the same.
Everything was unreal.
With that realization, my mind went blank.
A terrible sense of loss began to materialize around me.
Lowering my head, I muttered incomprehensible words.
“……”
My chest ached intensely.
The paradox of wishing the world would stop completely gnawed at my sanity.
Ah, is it because of me?
Should I have died?
Should I have just died and sent him back with the Holy Relic?
Why did I do that?
Why?
Why on earth!
“I just… wanted…”
I just wanted to be happy.
With him… by his side…
Cough—The heat escaping my throat burned.
Unable to endure the rising pain, I repeatedly coughed.
The tangled emotions pounded in my head.
All these cruel stimuli were violent.
It shouldn’t be like this.
It shouldn’t… be like this…
The world hasn’t stopped yet.
So there’s still a way.
“I have to save him.”
I have to bring him back to life.
If I can’t bring him back.
If there’s absolutely no way.
Then I’ll kill everyone.
I’ll turn everything into a complete mess, and utterly destroy the narrative.
Then the world will stop.
Let’s turn it back then.
For now.
“Isabel Yustia.”
The dark emotions filling my mind began to burn fiercely.
Guilt, regret, sorrow, loss…
Everything evaporated in the intense heat, leaving only anger.
“I will never… let you go.”
The flames were still burning hot.