BXBX NOVEL Chapter 88 – Victim
“What are you thinking?”
The Pope asked.
Isabel responded softly after a moment of contemplation.
“Let me meet her.”
“You can’t go alone.”
“No, it’s fine.”
Isabel’s voice was resolute.
There was no hesitation in her tone.
“……”
The Pope quietly observed Isabel.
His sharp gaze scrutinized her closely.
And then.
“Take this.”
He handed something to Isabel.
It was a pendant with an oval-shaped opal embedded in it.
“What is this?”
“It’s a Holy Relic. The moment you perceive something as a threat, the light from the pendant will purify it.”
The Pope spoke in a calm voice.
“It operates based on the wearer’s divine power. Given your unmatched divine power, it will be exceedingly potent when you use it.”
The Pope rose from his seat as if it was nothing special.
For a moment, his expression seemed considerably lighter.
“Follow me. I’ll show you the way.”
And he opened the door.
Isabel looked at it for a moment and then chuckled softly.
“Thank you.”
That was the end of their conversation.
The Pope led the way, and Isabel followed.
Clack, clack.
The sound of their footsteps echoed clearly.
And then, creak—!
Thud.
The door closed.
****
Thud.
The door opened smoothly, and Isabel stepped through.
She had a dazzling appearance, a confident stride, and a somewhat arrogant demeanor.
She possessed the familiar traits of any noble lady.
Her disguise was flawless.
A woman was seated by a small table.
Her purple hair and green eyes glowed brilliantly in the sunlight.
There was no doubt.
Merlin Trivia.
It was the same woman she had seen in that mysterious place.
“Did you say you were looking for me?”
“Yes, precisely.”
Merlin’s blatant rudeness made Isabel frown.
“It’s quite impolite for a first meeting.”
“Sorry, I’ve lived longer than I look. I hope you can understand with your broad mind.”
“What do you want?”
Isabel shot back with a cold voice to match Merlin’s insolence.
At the drastic change in Isabel’s tone, Merlin chuckled as if amused.
“Hah, interesting.”
“Is it? I find it quite annoying.”
Clack, clack.
Isabel walked slowly towards her and then sat down gracefully on the chair opposite.
“Emily the Informant—, that was your name, right?”
“Yes.”
“Who are you? I’ve never met a woman like you.”
Isabel desperately masked everything about herself.
Arrogant, conceited, rude—she mimicked her reckless past self as closely as possible.
So Merlin wouldn’t know she had regained her memories.
To gain an upper hand in the conversation that was about to take place.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly.
Or so she thought.
“Never met me?”
Merlin asked as she set down her teacup.
“There’s no way I would know a shady-looking woman like you.”
“Ah, but you did see me.”
At that moment, the air grew cold.
The temperature around them seemed to drop steadily.
“Isabel Yustia.”
Merlin enunciated Isabel’s name clearly.
“You’ve seen it all.”
At that moment, Isabel knew.
Ah, there’s no point in deceiving her any longer.
What is it?
How did she realize that I regained my memories?
How did an outsider like Merlin notice something even the people of the Papal See missed?
“What do you mean, ‘seen it all’?”
So Isabel probed.
She needed to verify how much Merlin knew.
And perhaps gather any clues she could.
Merlin stared into Isabel’s eyes.
Her pitch-black eyes betrayed nothing.
“Time.”
What?
“Oh, is that too hard to understand?”
Pour.
Merlin poured tea into a sparkling clear cup.
As steam began to rise, it gradually obscured Merlin’s face.
“Well, to put it plainly, the memories of the past. The horrible stories you didn’t even know you’d forgotten, and the cruel truths of this world.”
“……”
“You’ve seen them all, haven’t you? The ‘completed’ and now vanished memories of the past.”
Sip.
Merlin took a slow sip from her teacup.
“So there’s no need to act. I know you’ve regained your memories.”
Isabel knew.
To be precise, she had witnessed all the truths in that pitch-black space.
That woman’s name.
The crimes she had committed.
And yet.
Despite it all.
Isabel had no choice but to ask again.
“…Who are you?”
“Come on, you already know that, don’t you?”
Isabel narrowed her eyes.
The answer she wanted wasn’t this vague response.
She wanted to know more fundamental, somewhat incomprehensible motives behind Merlin’s actions.
“Answer me properly.”
Isabel summoned her divine power.
If words wouldn’t work, she was prepared to use force to get answers.
“There’s no need to be so hostile.”
“Enough nonsense.”
“No, really. Isabel Yustia, I have no intention of antagonizing you.”
“And I’m supposed to believe that?”
“You have to. Because you and I, in the end, are both victims.”
“What? Victims?”
“Yes.”
Every word Merlin spoke was unexpected.
It was disturbing.
Unbelievable.
Maybe that’s why.
Isabel’s uncontrolled true feelings eventually burst out.
“You’re talking nonsense.”
She couldn’t hold back any longer.
The heat of suppressed anger began to surge from deep within.
The reason she misunderstood Kyle.
The one who manipulated events to have Kyle adopted by the Duke’s family.
The reason Luna Winfred was removed from the list of successors.
All of it.
All because of someone.
“You disgust me.”
“What?”
“You disgust me, Merlin Trivia. You.”
“Why do you think so?”
Merlin’s expression remained completely calm.
She asked for a reason with a face devoid of any emotion.
That shamelessness ignited Isabel’s rationality.
The words that had been suppressed burst forth.
“Just be honest. You simply hate this world.”
And so she laughed.
She no longer hid her twisted expression.
“The God I believed in so devotedly does not exist. That this world was just a hastily created one for someone’s amusement. I only wanted to escape from this place somehow.”
She intentionally revealed her emotions.
Isabel glared at Merlin and smiled viciously.
“You killed Derek just because of that?”
She spat at the annoying face.
“Ruining the story from the start, to prevent Kyle from returning to his original world?”
The sharp words streamed out towards her.
“Hah, how ridiculous.”
The words formed unconsciously in her mind spilled out randomly without control.
“A fake.”
At that moment, Merlin’s lips twisted.
Isabel watched and let out a snicker.
“How could you be a victim?”
“……”
“Both you and I. We were perpetrators from the beginning.”
Merlin looked at Isabel with a pitying expression.
And muttered softly.
“So what?”
She laughed with a cold face and spoke quietly.
“What’s the problem?”
She tilted her head, seemingly puzzled.
“Is trying to escape this world such a big mistake?”
No, it wasn’t wrong.
What was wrong was her method.
“Oh, do you think my method was the problem?”
Merlin asked, reading Isabel’s eyes.
“If you read the Scripture, you’d know. The damn book is filled with records about me.”
Existing records.
And non-existent records.
Isabel had already heard about it from the Pope.
Merlin continued, seemingly self-deprecatingly.
“Sure, it’s hard to judge from the piecemeal information that’s conveniently put together. Since the cause and effect, and all the details leading up to each event are omitted, it can’t be helped.”
The causes are not recorded, only the results.
Thus, no one can know the true nature of the events.
“Isabel Yustia.”
Merlin asked her.
“Why on earth did I destroy the world?”
A record that no longer exists.
Why did the Merlin in that record destroy the world?
“I was a priestess, you know. More loyal than anyone else, virtuous, and generous to others.”
Thus, it was a contradiction.
That such a righteous woman had fallen and transformed into what she was now.
“Yes, I lived a life respected by everyone, and I knew how to give back the respect I received. It wasn’t a bad life. Though worn down by the winds of time, I eventually faced death, which is also a privilege that humans can enjoy.”
Yes, that’s why it was incomprehensible.
How could such a woman have changed so much?
“That was my first life.”
“…What?”
“And when I woke up, I saw a familiar ceiling. What is this? I was supposed to be dead, so where am I? Familiar faces, voices, surroundings. Then I realized. Ah! I’ve returned to the past—, I thought.”
Merlin chuckled.
Her appearance seemed strangely out of place.
“Well, it wasn’t bad. Since I returned to the past, I decided to live a different life this time. Honestly, I had some regrets. I wanted to live a life for myself, not just for others, at least once.”
“……”
“Oh, God has bestowed grace upon me. As a reward for my past life, He gave me a new opportunity.”
Her laughter grew more intense.
Her rough breaths mixed with her laughter.
“So I enjoyed everything according to my initial plan. I lived a lavish life in a luxurious mansion, spent without any lack, built temples with my accumulated wealth and power, and generously supported all the poor people of the continent.”
Merlin asked herself in a disinterested voice.
“Yes, that was precisely my second life.”
Second life.
Wait.
“Aren’t you curious?”
Merlin’s green eyes gleamed brightly.
“Then.”
Isabel felt as if the world around her was undulating.
Her thoughts couldn’t keep up with the conversation.
“What life am I on now?”
What… life?
“The truth is, I don’t know. No, to be exact, I forgot. At some point, it became too tedious to even count.”
“……”
“Die, return, die again, and return again. Suddenly, I felt a sense of futility. What is this? What’s going on? Where is this? Who am I? Ah, I’m sick of it. I want to end it.”
A blessing?
This was no blessing.
This was a curse.
An endless hell, trapped in the cycle of eternal time.
“So I died.”
And it was a form of torture.
One that could not be endured with a sane mind.
“I died and returned, and died again and returned again. I drowned, fell to my death, got stabbed. I experienced every form of death that came to mind. Just in case. Maybe there’s an answer.”
It was horrifying.
Just hearing it made Isabel feel as if her sanity was fracturing.
“But I failed.”
Merlin admitted her failure.
With a deeply lonely expression.
“So I destroyed the world.”
“……”
“I created the Black Mist too. It was the cleanest way to destroy the world without dirtying my hands.”
It was an inevitable choice.
She was justifying her choice now.
Good and evil.
Cause and effect.
The unbalanced scales began to tremble slightly.
She felt like she couldn’t breathe, as if her lungs were blocked.
“Many died.”
“……”
“Ordinary citizens, absolute rulers, and…”
Her words trailed off.
And their eyes met.
“Isabel Yustia.”
Merlin pointed at Isabel with her finger.
“You, Winfred, the people of the Papal See…”
Her lips curved up slightly.
“And Derek too.”
Derek.
The protagonist of the original story.
“They all died. Not a single one survived.”
Madness, devoid of common sense, filled the space.
“I wanted to escape.”
She wanted to escape from this hell.
Even if her soul was trapped in the cycle of sin.
But.
“And then the world stopped.”
The world stopped.
Everything was frozen, as if it were all taxidermied—nothing moved, not the living nor the non-living.
“Except for me.”
Merlin could move in the frozen world.
And that was the beginning of a new hell.
A hell that made returning to the past seem preferable.
Wandering endlessly, giving up, no matter what she did, the world remained frozen.
Until one day.
“When I came to, I found myself in an unfamiliar pitch-black space.”
Isabel let out an involuntary sigh.
It was a familiar space.
The space where she saw all the truths after being killed by Luna…
“That’s when I realized.”
That this world was fake.
That this world was just a hastily created one for someone’s amusement, where the ending and fate were predetermined and infinitely repeated.
“Let me ask you again.”
Merlin’s gaze pierced through Isabel.
“Am I not a victim?”