Chapter 207: Eyes of a Dragon and the Human Heart (71)
Chapter 207: Eyes of a Dragon and the Human Heart (71)
What if forgiveness was impossible?
Despite sensing Ian's sincerity during the 'Central Avenue's Assault on Royalty Incident,’ she couldn't shake a lingering doubt. Though she had hoped for it in secret, she was still plagued by anxiety.
And so, in facing Ian, she found herself making frequent mistakes.
Startled, Cien hardly knew what she was doing. All she wanted was to express her apology to Ian as fervently as possible.
It might have seemed excessive, but in that moment, it felt right after she kissed Ian's foot.
Of course, Cien downplayed it as inconsequential.
If asked if it was humiliating and shameful, it undoubtedly was. However, Ian was the bearer of the Dragonblood Script, and, above all, Cien had done things far worse to him.
She could endure that level of humiliation and shame.It was part of the process of atoning for the sins she had committed against Ian.
But Ian didn't seem to see it that way.
The previously pleasant atmosphere suddenly turned chilly. In that awkward silence, Cien, now standing, had to carefully gauge Ian's reaction, her fingers twitching nervously.
‘Ah, I'm such a fool…’
She should have approached it more gradually, but her heart had overruled her caution. The initial goal of wanting to appear favorable in Ian's eyes seemed to have already crumbled.
Cien's complexion turned pale as swiftly as it had brightened.
Ian's words, uttered after a weighty silence, struck like a blow.
"...Are you naturally so clueless?"
The clear criticism drained the color from Cien's face even further.
Wavering, Cien instinctively began to bow her head to the ground once more.
"I’m, I'm sor...!"
"No, don't do that."
Ian cleared his throat, hinting at the possibility of a misunderstanding.
"You have the 'eyes,' right? Yet, you seem incapable of deciphering people's thoughts."
Cien fell into silence at his words momentarily, then offered a bitter smile.
So, he was aware.
After all, being the bearer of the Dragonblood Script meant he was the Emperor's closest aide, thus possessing knowledge beyond the reach of others wasn't unexpected.
Cien absentmindedly brushed her fingertips around her eyes.
She was well aware of the amount of torment her light gray eyes had brought her, yet despite that, she still relied on this ability.
Especially the events of the past fortnight, starting with the clash with Ian, had led Cien to profound realizations.
"...Originally, I believed I understood it thoroughly."
Sensing the gravity in her suddenly subdued tone, Ian turned his gaze, swallowing audibly.
It seemed like an important revelation was about to be said.
"When I peer through these 'eyes,' I occasionally glimpse things I'd rather not. The deepest human desires. For there are no other sentiments with such vibrant hues."
It wasn't a coincidence that Cien instinctively compared emotions to 'colors.'
In truth, emotions manifested as colors in Cien's 'Dragon's Eyes.' Though she couldn't read minds as in her childhood, emotions remained visible in her sight.
Inevitably, over time, she found herself gravitating towards the emotions with the most intense hues, and the most primal of these was 'desire.'
"It's simple. Once it starts becoming visible, one must adapt accordingly to the emotions. It's not unusual for enmity to evolve into amity or malice to transmute into benevolence. I've sustained myself on such adaptability."
Cien’s lips twisted into a wry smile.
Raising her head with resolve, she feigned indifference.
"But, it was a facade. I realized it upon meeting Sir Ian. Actually, I'm not very perceptive. Until now, I deluded myself into thinking I had witnessed all merely by observing. But now, trusting my eyes has become hard..."
As Cien continued, she hesitated before retrieving something from her pocket.
It was a small pouch.
She extended it towards Ian, bowing deeply as if conveying gratitude.
Ian accepted it with a puzzled look.
It felt weightless. The slender pouch appeared unremarkable at first glance.
Yet, considering it was a gift from the Imperial Princess, it couldn't be ordinary.
Ian discreetly loosened the pocket's opening, peering inside, and then spoke as if he immediately realized something.
"…It's an expandable spatial pouch."
"Yes, I noticed last time that you carry a lot of things during battles, Sir Ian... And there's one more thing inside!"
At that revelation, Ian delicately turned the pouch. In an instant, a sizable cat's-eye gemstone tumbled out.
A pale gray cat's-eye.
It was the final keepsake left by Cien's mother.
Cien wore a faintly melancholic smile.
"As you may already know, it's an heirloom from my mother. I couldn't bring myself to part with it until now. I didn't understand why until recently. It's because I remained ensnared by the memories of that day."
Ian remained silent, his eyes fixated on the light gray cat's-eye.
It was a high-quality item.
The color was unique, and the size was large, thus even in terms of sheer monetary value, it still held significant meaning. Furthermore, considering it belonged to the Empress, it wouldn't be strange for there to be hidden secrets.
It was excessively grand for a token of appreciation.
However, recent events had imbued the cat's-eye with a significance surpassing its material worth for Cien.
"The memories of that day have been tormenting me. I can’t bring myself to trust people. I misunderstood and inflicted suffering... If things had continued like that, I might have regretted it for a lifetime. So, Sir Ian, please accept it."
Ian fell into a long silence.
After a moment of hesitation, he nodded.
Only then could Cien release a pent-up sigh of relief.
At last, closure seemed within reach.
She could finally free herself from the haunting specters of her past.
Despite everything, the maternal bond between mother and daughter transcended earthly realms. It turned the item into a keepsake, rendering it impossible for Cien to relinquish, clinging to the last vestige of attachment.
Her mother had once been her sole ally.
But now, with Ian by her side, a glimmer of hope for freedom from the agony of that fateful day emerged. It was a bit regrettable, but it was still acceptable.
It was time to bid farewell to her mother's memory.
As Cien steeled her resolve, a wistful smile graced her lips.
After a while, Ian finally broke the silence.
"…But, do human thoughts and emotions really align?"
"Pardon?"
Cien's head tilted in confusion at the sudden question.
Her expression silently questioned the validity of his statement.
Yet, Ian's words bore an air of certainty, as if they were the culmination of deep contemplation.
"This is strange. Humans frequently remain unaware of their own hearts. How then, can one compress the entirety of human experience within a single mind and emotion?"
"…I-Is that so?"
Although taken aback by the unexpected assertion, Cien found herself pondering Ian's words with newfound intrigue.
Throughout her life, she had never trusted anyone and had viewed human emotions through a simplistic lens, associating the most vibrant hues with desires.
Yet, perhaps the richness of human emotions defied such simplistic categorization.
"Just because the colors are subdued does not render the emotion insincere. The same applies to the mind. At times, conflicting thoughts can coexist within the same individual. Such is the essence of humanity—layered with contradictions and complexities."
Saying this, Ian tossed the cat's-eye into the air, deftly catching it.
As scenes from Cien's childhood flickered through the gemstone, memories of those who had wronged her surfaced..
But, they had once been good people whom she had loved.
From birth, Cien had possessed the ability to peer into the human psyche. During that period, she had harbored affection even for the minutest facets of human behavior, devoid of judgment?
Suddenly, one question slipped into Cien's mind.
‘But how did I come to think of them all as bad people?’
"...A certain orphanage director I met was also like that."
With these words, Ian took a step forward. Cien involuntarily flinched, her body rigid as she lifted her gaze to meet Ian's.
Her pupils dilated vertically.
Though aware of what it was a precursor to, Ian showed no sign of fear.
"I’m also like that."
As a signal, a torrent of sensations flooded Cien's senses.
It was a wave of emotions.
Never before had someone's emotions breached Cien's defenses so forcefully. Perhaps it was because the other party harbored no reservations about having their innermost thoughts laid bare.
Even in ignorance of Cien's abilities, humans instinctively concealed their true sentiments. And if someone were privy of Cien's power, the barriers were even more fortified.
Until now, none had succeeded in breaching those defenses.
Yet, Ian consciously subdued that innate resistance. The world unfurled before her in a natural kaleidoscope of colors, each hue nuanced and rich.
It was a visual revelation.
The once monochromatic ambiance burst into life with a myriad of hues.
Like watercolor spreading in water, the expanding palette of colors was so pure and diverse that Cien found herself rendered speechless.
Was this the essence of 'emotion'?
Amongst those hues, not only did bright and beautiful emotions flourish, but also darker, more melancholic shades tinged her perception.
Yet, Cien found no aversion in their presence.
It was beautiful.
Genuine sincerity radiated forth.
"...Perhaps your mother also felt the same, Your Highness."
Cien's eyes remained vacant as she stared at Ian.
‘Wasn't he afraid?’
Revealing one's true feelings was frightening for everyone. Every human Cien had encountered thus far—her mother, herself included—felt that way.
That's why she had never witnessed it before.
The fact that undisguised sincerity could produce such beautiful colors.
Even the grotesque and dark shades were integral to that symphony.
Long ago, dragons harbored a particular fondness for humans.
And Cien finally understood how they could love humans.
Ian's question reverberated in her mind.
"How do you find my feelings?"
Emotion overwhelmed her, causing the girl's eyes to sting with tears. She couldn't help it, being a crybaby. Cien muttered an excuse, unsure to whom it was directed.
She managed to choke out just one word.
This, too, was Cien's unadulterated sincerity.
"...I, I don't know."
The spectrum of colors was so vast that it became impossible to understand.
At her response, Ian offered a wry smile, as if anticipating it.
Then, with a swift motion, he returned the cat's-eye to Cien.
"This is my gift."
Just like that, the light gray cat's-eye found its way back into Cien's grasp.
Yet, she struggled under its weight. Her hands trembled as she took hold of the jewel again.
With tears threatening to spill, Cien posed a trembling question.
"W-what should I do?"
Ian's gaze softened as he patiently awaited the girl's tearful words.
"W-what should… heuk, I-I do about my mother?"
Overwhelmed by emotion, the girl sought guidance.
The long-held affection for her mother, buried beneath layers of resentment, surged forth, muddling Cien's thoughts.
A solitary tear rolled down the girl's cheek.
Observing this, Ian offered a straightforward response.
"Let's look for her first."
"B-but..."
"I'll accompany you."
Cien caught her breath.
It was Ian's assurance, coupled with his grasp on both of Cien's hands, clutching the cat’s-eye, that reignited a flicker of hope within her.
Cien resented her inability to see herself through her own eyes, unable to fathom the depths of these surging emotions.
"...Later, for sure."
The girl resolved to place her trust in this brief yet resolute promise.
Eventually, tears and laughter intermingled within her.
For the first time, she experienced the profound duality of sorrow and joy.
"...Okay."
That day, the girl with the Dragon’s Eyes came to grasp the intricacies of the Human Heart.
****
After the Imperial Princess left, silence enveloped the room.
Without a word, I reached for the whiskey resting on the table, pouring it into the glass with practiced ease before downing it in one swift motion.
It wasn't a displeasing sensation.
In the end, the image of the girl's tearful smile lingered in my mind, making me chuckle.
None of the issues, including the Dragonblood Script, were resolved yet.
Nevertheless, I found solace in the path I had walked thus far.
At the very least, I had brought a fleeting moment of joy to a girl ensnared by her childhood.
As I casually sipped the alcohol in a somewhat cheerful mood, I found myself gradually getting tipsy. I casually pulled out the letter from the future, and my eyes reflected the sentences written on its back.
'One with dragon’s eyes cannot understand the human heart.'
I couldn't comprehend what I was thinking.
However, spurred by the alcohol, I added another sentence to the back of the existing one.
'However, the girl is different.'
It was nothing more than short sentences, simple characters devoid of embellishment. It was the limit of a drunken swordsman with no skill in writing.
Satisfied with my addition, I lingered on the sentence before I fell asleep.
The Imperial Officials were expected to arrive soon.
Yet, amidst it all, my heart remained surprisingly calm. With each sip of the liquor, my senses had dulled and my emotions had mellowed.
Convinced that things would somehow resolve themselves, I closed my eyes in resignation.
When I awoke groggily, it was still dawn. Perhaps not drunk enough, my heart pounded loudly within me.
Refilling my glass with whiskey, my gaze fell upon the letter left on the table from before I fell asleep.
In the margins of the hastily written sentences, a solitary word was scrawled:.
'Maybe.'
The crumpled note revealed the man's temperament. I couldn't help but chuckle.
Downing the whiskey in a single gulp, I became drunk again and fell asleep once more.
I had a dream that night.
It was a strangely vivid dream of a certain man.
Familiar now, accompanied by ragged breaths, my eyes immediately sought out the table beside my bed.
The calendar marked a new day before my realization, accompanied by a fresh envelope with a letter inside.
Now, there was no time to rest.
"...Sigh."
A throbbing headache assailed my senses as I reached for the envelope.
I had no energy left to swear.
It was the beginning of a new event that would shake the world.
/genesisforsaken