BXBX NOVEL Chapter 774: I Just Want to Kill Myself
Chapter 774: I Just Want to Kill Myself
Ever since An You and Princess Mingzhu confessed their feelings for each other, An You rarely came to Ning Shu’s courtyard anymore. An You was worried that Princess Mingzhu would be angry. It was only after he obtained such intense and sincere love that he realized his feelings towards his wife were only respect, not love.
He slept in the study every night, saying that he was reading about the art of war. Ning Shu acted like she didn’t know anything since it was much more comfortable to sleep alone.
The empress dowager soon sent people to the general’s residence, saying that six weeks had pased since Prince Yan had passed away. The forty-ninth day was almost about to arrive, so the emperor had invited a senior monk to carry out the ritual. As Prince Yan’s successors, Princess Mingzhu and the little prince should enter the palace.
When An You and Princess Mingzhu got this news, An You snuck into Mingzhu’s courtyard at night and found that she was crying alone. His heart instantly clenched in pain and he hugged her from behind. Princess Mingzhu was startled and started struggling.
“Mingzhu, it’s me,” said An You in a low voice. Princess Mingzhu immediately stopped struggling, but she kept crying.
An You turned Mingzhu around. When he saw that her tears were overflowing like rain, his heart filled with unbearable pain and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her eyes. “Don’t cry anymore. Do you know? Whenever I see you cry, I feel so useless to the point that I just want to kill myself?”
“No!” Mingzhu covered An You’s mouth. “You’re not allowed to talk about yourself this way. I’m going to enter the palace tomorrow. An You, I can’t bear to leave you. I don’t want to enter the palace. Leaving the general’s residence, leaving you, makes me feel like I’m about to die.”
An You said, “It’s fine. You’ll come back.”
Mingzhu hugged An You. “I feel happy and blessed, but it’s also so painful. An You, I’ll definitely work hard so that everyone will approve of us.”
“Mingzhu, you’re wonderful.”
The next day, Ning Shu just watched An You and Princess Mingzhu. They looked like they were reenacting the scene of the white maiden being locked into the Thunder Pagoda for eternity.
Princess Mingzhu cried brokenheartedly in front of the palace nurse that the empress dowager had sent as if heading to the palace to kowtow to the deceased prince and participating in the ritual for her father was like asking her to go die. The nurse didn’t even know what to say.
At the side, An You looked like he was silently enduring great pain. Ning Shu felt like he was constipated.
Although the two were in much pain, the carriage still had to leave. An You couldn’t stop himself from taking a couple steps forward as if he wanted to run after the carriage.
Inside the carriage, Princess Mingzhu lifted the curtain and kept looking towards An You who was standing at the entrance of the residence as tears spilled down her face.
The old madame’s face was completely black during this entire process. Meanwhile, Ning Shu just watched it like it was a show. She didn’t feel much except a bit of bafflement and disgust.
Ever since Princess Mingzhu entered the palace, An You became very dispirited and would often sigh and space out. He caught lovesickness that only Princess Mingzhu could cure.
He even got thinner. Ning Shu felt like it was seriously exaggerated. Was he seriously trying to prove the saying, one day apart was like three autumns of separation?
The ritual took seven days, so Princess Mingzhu should be returning today. An You got up early in the morning to wait by the residence doors. He even cleaned himself up carefully, so he looked very valiant which was a complete contrast to how dispirited he had looked the past few days.
However, he waited all the way until the sun went down. Princess Mingzhu never arrived. He had waited for an entire day, facing the scorching heat of the sun, but water never came.
Ning Shu: So passionate, so touching- As if!
The old madame had Ning Shu call An You inside to have dinner. Ning Shu went, but An You ignored her and just continued staring in the direction of the imperial palace with longing.
In response to this, Ning Shu expressed that it was up to him whether he wanted to eat or not. After all, she wasn’t the one that’d suffer. With Princess Mingzhu out of the residence, she was now fully enjoying her food and sleep.
However, in front of the old madame, she of course had to act like she was so severely worried about An You to the point that she couldn’t even stomach a meal. So she didn’t eat any rice and only ate the side dishes.
#comment: In Chinese, eating (a meal) is written as eating (rice), so Ning Shu couldn’t eat (rice) and only ate the veggies and meat and all the other delicious dishes lmao.