Chapter 17: Chapter 17: No Need to Force Yourself (Revised)_1
Watching Fang Ren's departing figure, Mu Hui cupped her hands together, her brow slightly furrowed.
Her racing heart had been deeply uncomfortable for her, but the look of dejection on Fang Ren's face made her want to explain. Yet, she had no idea how to describe her feelings or how to express them, and could only watch him leave the room, filled with loss.
It was only after Fang Ren had left that Mu Hui noticed a subtle change in her heart; she suddenly felt a sense of loss, quite similar to regret.
After dinner, Mu Hui went to take a shower. Fang Ren did not help her undress or assist her into the bathtub, given her newfound aversion to him.
In the bathroom, Mu Hui also didn't call for his help, fearful that her reactions might deepen his sense of loss.
So, she braced herself on her knees and crawled into the bathtub by herself. Her body had turned cold and become even weaker due to using True Qi the previous night.
Despite being midsummer, the bathroom lacked the warmth of the sun at night, and since she didn't know how to turn on the heat, she could only curl up inside the hot water to finally start feeling a bit better.
Fang Ren was in his room, continuing his research on some medicinal herbs. Although Mu Hui was currently repulsed by him, he had decided to heal her legs and was determined to accomplish that.
It was a long while later when the bathroom door opened, and Mu Hui wheeled out into Fang Ren's room.
Hearing her leave, Fang Ren set aside his work to glance back at her.
Her long, silver hair was dripping wet, and her gown was partly soaked. Her fair knees were even swollen and red.
Fang Ren's heart surged with anger. He couldn't understand why Mu Hui was pushing him away, preferring to kneel and swell her knees rather than asking for his help in the bathroom.
Having seen her condition, Fang Ren turned to sit at the desk, refraining from going over to dry her hair; vexation was all that remained in his heart.
If she despised him so much, why didn't she say so earlier rather than giving him those illusions last night?
Mu Hui, seeing Fang Ren turn away in anger after just a glance, felt the sense of loss in her heart intensify.
She rolled her wheelchair to one side and picked up a hairdryer to dry her own hair, afraid to let Fang Ren touch her again, in case that strange feeling returned.
As he listened to Mu Hui dry her hair by herself, Fang Ren went downstairs, found a blanket, and brought it up.
He threw the blanket onto the floor, arranging a simple bed, and without another word lay down on it, eyes closed and back facing Mu Hui.
Shortly after, Mu Hui dried her hair. She turned to look at Fang Ren, sleeping on the floor, feeling that she should clarify what had just happened. But would he believe her if she described that strange feeling?
Gliding her wheelchair over to the makeshift bed, Mu Hui knelt on it and crawled over to where Fang Ren lay.
If Ah Ran was sleeping on the floor, then she would do the same. Her mother had told her, as Ah Ran's wife, she must sleep with him every night.
Mu Hui used all her strength to undress, but soon realized she couldn't manage it; the room was too cold, and she was too weak.
She knelt on the blanket, gazing at Fang Ren's back.
Fang Ren didn't turn around, and said in a moderate tone, "You don't have to force yourself like this."
"What do you mean?" Mu Hui looked at him, puzzled by his words.
"You should just follow your own heart in these matters. There's no need to heed your mother's words."
Mu Hui shook her head, "I don't understand…"
Fang Ren couldn't help but laugh helplessly inside. Was she playing dumb with him?
Forget it, she was weak in body and couldn't undress by herself anyway.
Mu Hui's heart was growing increasingly troubled. Just a moment ago, when he had held her, her heart had raced, but once he set her down, she felt a twinge of unwillingness to part.
She didn't quite understand what this feeling was.
"Ah Ran, why don't you sleep with me anymore?" Mu Huanqing asked.
Fang Ren closed his eyes and said, "I don't want to."
"Is Ah Ran angry?"
"No."
"But you don't want to talk to me."
"Tired."
"Ah Ran is lying," Mu Huanqing said with a look of disappointment.
"..."
Fang Ren paused for a long time before he suddenly sat up from his bedroll, looked at Mu Huanqing beside the bed and finally spoke with some irritation, "You really don't need to be like this."
Seeing Fang Ren's irritated expression, Mu Huanqing didn't understand and asked, "Why are you angry?"
"Can't you speak more frankly?" Fang Ren frowned, "If you don't like me, you don't like me. Why do you force yourself like this because of what your mother said?"
"I haven't..."
"Isn't your behavior clear enough?"
"But... that's all because of a very strange feeling I have," Mu Huanqing said seriously.
"What feeling, tell me," Fang Ren suppressed his emotions and continued.
He didn't believe it. Could he really have some special constitution that caused cultivators to show a repelling expression upon contact?
"I'm not too sure, it's just that I feel my heart beating very fast, and it's very uncomfortable. Just now when Ah Ran was holding me, my whole body was weak, as if I'd been anesthetized..."
"It's not me who's lying," Fang Ren said with a bitter smile, "it's you who's lying. You don't really feel any of these things."
That was a joke. If all those conditions were met, then it would definitely be the feeling of being attracted.
But this morning, why didn't she show any of these reactions when speaking? Her heart didn't race, her face didn't flush.
"But I'm not lying," Mu Huanqing looked at him and said.
After listening to her, Fang Ren suddenly felt a surge of irritation in his heart, "Fine, your heart speeds up, does it? Let's try now and see exactly how it speeds up."
"Let's not," she replied.
Fang Ren moved away with disappointment.
As he was about to get up, Mu Huanqing's hand tightly grabbed his arm, her beautiful eyes looking at him, her expression unexpectedly a bit panicked, "Ah Ran... my heart really is racing."
"You..."
"I thought too much... sorry," Fang Ren said softly, leaning in close to her ear.
"What is this feeling?" Mu Huanqing, holding his hand, looked at him, "I clearly dislike it... but I don't want Ah Ran to leave. If you leave, I'll regret it..."
As Mu Huanqing spoke, Fang Ren then remembered what she had said the night before, that she truly didn't know what it felt like to like someone.