Chapter 55 - Me - Part【2】
"Phobos cannot flawlessly grasp emotions like the rest of us." She tells me as I stare at her in question. What is this female assuming? He can comprehend emotions for he always did with me.
"No, he can. I mean he did when I was-"
"A pup?" She questions and I gradually nod in response. "Well, he lost that capability as he matured from a juvenile to an adult. His wolf subjugated him at one point when Phobos was mentally and physically weak to stir animal instincts into him which consumed his raw emotions. He has gotten so much better now in reading feelings but it takes time for him to understand."
"Is that why he often forces me to look into his eyes when I disregard his presence." Maybe this was the reason why he kept away from me during the days before his journey. It was not only me but we were both feeling unsettled with reality. Perhaps he was accustoming to a new feeling that maybe drowned him.
"Yes, it is the only way he knows to acquire what he needs to know. If you are upset with him you must speak with him openly and let him understand you." Her advice truly assists me for I had been hard on him at times.
"Say, Moira. When was my male weak as you claimed he was?"
"When he lost his parents. Phobos could barely open his eyes in the mornings and our pack was too harsh on him not enabling him to mourn their death driving onto him his responsibility as our Alpha. No weakness. This is our pack\'s way which we strictly abide by. So I, in turn, offered Phobos what he needed I gave him the solace he sought."
Is this why they two are very close with one another because she was able to give him something I could not. Because she was there in his desperate time of need whilst I was not?
A severe sting of jealousy is quick to strike my chest as my mind visualizes him mourning on her shoulder as she affectionately rubbed his temple to soothe his stress. Is that the way she offered him the support he despairingly required at that time? I wish I was the one who gave it to him instead but how could a ten year have consoled a much older juvenile. I would have been useless in every way.
"I-I seem to be indebted to you Moira."
"Oh please no. It was an honour, Luna." She says an effortless smile on her face as she warmly regards me.
As I turn to glimpse towards my cottage I behold Awan waiting patiently for me, his hands held respectfully behind his back he bows in greeting. "I shall speak with you later Moira. I have certain matters to attend to. Will Argus be joining the storytelling event with the rest of the pups today? It is in an hour."
"Of course, Luna. He would not miss it for the world rather he has asked me over a thousand times when it shall commence." She says as a soft giggle leave my lips. Argus truly is an adorable pup and I have grown to love him too. I realise now why my male shows a keen fondness towards him.
"It is great to know he is liking it."
"We mothers are truly thankful to you for this for taking our pups from us for a few hours allowing us to spend some time with each other." I had come up with this plan a few months ago as I remarked that the pups here did not seem to have any fun other than tumbling around in nature\'s dirt both males and females alike. Therefore with the help of my extensive amounts of art supplies, I created several activities for them to engage with and become creative.
"It is my pleasure." I beam in return and with a terse nod of farewell, I skip playfully towards Phobos\'s second shadow.
"Awan! Have you brought me what I requested?" I sign to him as he nods in answer shaking the small pouch of hazelnuts handing it to me. "You look quite attractive today."
His cheeks are agile to brighten to a tint of deep red. Boosting his hands shyly gazing down at his feet he communicates with me through his fingers. "Do not tease me, Luna."
"Dkuji, Awan and I am not teasing you, I speak my truth." This male can read lips with accuracy yet I sign to him most of the time for I had studied his language just to be friends with him.
(Thank you, Awan)
Awan and I met for the first time the day after my heat, I was startled to see him waiting patiently for me outside the tent. Apparently, he is the only appointed male who stays back to protect the females when the rest of the wolves leave for the hunt. However this year he was given another confidential key responsibility by his Alpha one which my male instructed him to hold above any other. To protect me with his life.
During the initial days of my unpleasant heat, Awan had sojourned in a cave within the wilderness for if he were near on the pack lands my scent would have agonized him and his control would have slipped through him. To protect me he risked his life for a few nights. I was so comfortable with his presence when we talked for a while as I had waited so long to meet him face to face.
I had shocked the male too for when he had squatted down on the mud to write on it with his finger thinking it would be the only way to communicate with me I signed to him whilst his breath hitched to what he witnessed his Luna doing. He could not believe it when I had informed him of the truth, that I learned his way of speaking since I was a pup simply so I could converse with him.
Awan had openly sobbed in front of me because he was too grateful to me for the only wolves who tended to often speak with him were Phobos, Drakho and Moira and the others shoved this male away and sought him only for his duties simply because no wolf cared enough to learn his language.
In a way, he and I are alike in this way I suppose. We both do not speak the language the pack wants to hear from each of us. For me my strength and power as a Luna I cannot vocalise it well and Awan well he cannot speak at all.
"Make sure to be present for the storytelling. I need your help as always." With a friendly wave of goodbye to him, I climb the pebble steps to my vacant home shutting the door behind me. I had lit a fire to keep me warm when I returned for otherwise, these four walls become cold enough to kill me.
"Momo! I have gotten you a present." I chortle eagerly calling out to my new pet sauntering towards the newly painted cage stooping low to peek at him. He jumps at my intrusion and swiftly awakens departing the nest I made for him whilst I open his enclosure and set him free.
Obtaining two hazelnuts from the pouch I hand it to the tiny squirrel who fleetly grabs it from my fingers with his miniature hands stuffing them into his mouth as his cheeks swell up to the nuts he stores. "You are truly cute I must say." I snicker as he leaps out of his cage dashing into Phobos\'s room for he somehow prefers my male\'s room to linger in than mine.. Presumably, because it is dark and gloomy in there most of the time unless I pull open the curtains.