BXBX NOVEL Chapter 432 - Go
At this moment, Arthur was feeling quite desolate.
Pride was a hard thing to overcome, especially when it was your own. Now, Arthur had to come to grips with the fact that he would not only be handing over something he had worked his whole life to build, but in doing so would have to act like he was grateful.
It was a difficult thing for a man to set aside his pride. It was even more difficult for a King to do so. It was difficult to the point where even though Arthur knew that he stood at a diverging path – one facing his family and the other facing his kingdom – he still found this decision hard to swallow.
The Royal Court remained silent. It was taboo for a King to display such emotion and this could be the first time any of them had ever seen Arthur like this.
Guinevere cast a glance toward Arthur\'s back but she hesitated. Her gaze wanted to shift to another place, but she didn\'t dare to look.
Their relationship had never borne any fruit, but Guinevere still felt all sort of complex emotions about it. Guilt, trepidation… but even those were accented by a budding sweetness and a freedom she hadn\'t felt in a long time.
She couldn\'t help but feel like she had taken advantage of Lancelot\'s feelings to make herself feel better. Such a thing filled her with a swirl of thoughts she didn\'t know how to deal with.
"Your Majesty."
Leonel\'s sudden voice drifted to Guinevere\'s ears, stunning the Queen. She had never interacted with Leonel before and the start of such communication at this particular moment left her at a loss. If she was honest with herself, though she was grateful to Leonel, he was the last person she wanted to talk to now.
However, Leonel\'s next words shook her to her core.
"Go speak with him and be as open and honest as possible."
Guinevere froze, her hand involuntarily tightening around Mordred\'s.
Mordred, who had, of course, not been expecting this looked toward her mother. However, she couldn\'t hear Leonel\'s words at all.
"It will be difficult." Leonel continued. "However, what Arthur needs the most now is your transparency. When a man loses everything, his family is his only pillar."
Guinevere wanted to lash out at Leonel\'s words. However, she couldn\'t, not because she didn\'t have the mind to, but because she couldn\'t replicate Leonel\'s silent communication. This left her feeling overly stifled and her breathing even hitched, her grip tightening on Mordred\'s hand again.
She was a Queen. Maybe in some ways, the same pride that ran in Arthur\'s veins ran through her own.
But, it was even deeper than this, anyone being confronted about such an intimate matter would react defensively first. This would be the case even if two people were close, let alone if they couldn\'t have been closer to strangers like Leonel and Guinevere.
This in addition to the fact Guinevere was a woman while Leonel was a man, all added to the fact she was a Queen used to an unblemished and polished image… Guinevere felt a mixture of embarrassment, unwillingness, and unending grievances.
As if all this wasn\'t bad enough, Leonel was a kid in Guinevere\'s eyes. What did he know about being a man? Such words coming from the mouth of a teenage boy felt like a bunch of flowery nonsense without substance.
However, Leonel knew he had no choice but to continue to push.
When Arthur made his decision, he felt that feeling again, that feeling that something was about to change. Spark lit in his mind, but he had no way of fully connecting them. He had no choice but to act on his instincts and hope for the best.
"I know that hearing all of this from me fills you with feelings you don\'t know how to deal with, and I know that communicating with you in this way where you can\'t respond to me is even more stifling. I can\'t comfort you with any words outside of this.
"I only want you to know that I have the best interest of Camelot at heart. Have you wondered why it is I know about these things I shouldn\'t?"
Leonel\'s final question caused Guinevere to freeze completely. All her anger vanished with the wind, a deep trepidation gripping her heart.
"All I want you to ask yourself is if you would rather him hear it all from your lips? Or find out through the words of another?"
Guinevere clenched her jaw, her eyes reddening.
"Mo –"
Mordred\'s words paused before she finished them. Could she really still call Guinevere mother? She didn\'t know if she was ready for such a thing yet…
But, she had no idea just the start of her words snapped Guinevere back to reality.
Guinevere looked toward where Arthur disappeared and back toward her daughter.
"Mordred, I…"
Guinevere was completely flustered. She forgot about how she had address Mordred as Demon Empress all this time. A motherly tone involuntarily came from her.
However, surprisingly, Mordred wasn\'t off put by this. In fact, she seemed to understand something as she smiled lightly.
"Go."
Guinevere\'s eyes uncontrollably teared. If it wasn\'t for the court ministers having become lost in their own debates about the changes coming to Camelot, she would have instantly become the center of attention.
There were two that did notice though…
Her son was the first and the second was Lancelot.
Guinevere stood slowly, her hand still wrapped around her daughter\'s. She looked intently at Mordred as though making sure it was truly alright. She had already abandoned her daughter once, she couldn\'t stand the thought of doing it again.
But, seeing the reassuring gaze Mordred returned her, her back straightened, a certain determination lighting her beautiful eyes.
She released Mordred\'s hand, a light smile on her face. Back straight, she walked toward the direction her husband left in.
From start to finish, she didn\'t look toward Lancelot. She seemed to be using her actions to convey something profound.. But, ultimately, it all led to the broken heart of a Knight.