Chapter 210: When did I change? [1/2]
I grabbed Joshua's shoulder as I spoke.
"This stays with us, understood?"
"I will take the secret to my grave, Commander."
"Okay, finally, tomorrow I will let you register as a Death Seeker. You can take over and lead the nd Amdmt ev after I am gone. Wh the others get more experice, let them lead the other squads of the LLG."
"Understood. Commander, can I make a request?"
"What is it?"
"Everyone knows that you are preparing for your death. I beg you, can I please aid you in the Seeker War?"
"Died. What will happ to Angela if you die?"
"That..."
"I am grateful for your loyalty, Joshua, but there is no need. If you want to repay me, just grow stronger and help the reapers fight the undead."
"I...I understand."
With that, we headed back to the rest of the group. After saying goodbye to them, I tried to think of my hotel room and felt a pull on my soulgem. Wh I tried to change the location by thinking of the Simmons' residce, the ssation disappeared.
"Oh? So it only works for one place?"
Like a save point, I could only go to and from my hotel room. This would be a weakness if discovered. Like a {Rewind}, protecting my return zone was a necessity.
Putting such matters aside, I teleported to my hotel room.
***
I woke up lying on my back on the bed. The dissonance of suddly being on a bed wh I had be vertically upright just a second before gave me a bad case of vertigo. I closed my eyes and tried to reorit myself.
"Shit, my brain feels like it is going to split op."
I massaged my temples and waited for the nausea to pass before standing up.
"Ugh, I need to either get a bed that will stand up or lie down before returning."
The light of the sun poured through the op window into the room again. After a night of death and violce, the peace and serity on Earth felt unreal.
I walked to the balcony and oped the sliding door. I joyed the light breeze as the warmth of the sun fell on my face. The sounds of the Phoix suburbs echoed in the early morning. I looked a and saw people starting their day.
Studts going to school, employees going to work, housewives or husbands getting ready to do their chores, and pets just lounging a.
Each life was trying to live in this world as best it could. Every single person I could see and hear had their own dreams, fears, and destiny.
"I wonder how many of these people would die to become reapers?"
My mood soured as I contemplated such a fact. On the one hand, who would wish misfortune upon others? Yet, in order to replish the ranks of the Reapers, this was exactly what I had to hope for.
"This is too complicated. I should stick to my own affairs. Let's see, what did I have to do today?"
First I had to, or rather wanted to, see the Sirs. According to Bella, they would come to my nd family today. Aki, who was supposed to follow me to Hellsgate, didn't follow me either, ev though she said she would.
"Phantoms really can skip if they want to, huh? Not that I would skip for the sake of it, it might be a good idea to skip if I have to do something."
I wt to the big desk in the living room and took a piece of paper. Th I began to write down all the things that were on my mind.
. Seeker War - supplies, tactics, and preparations.
. Missing {Fate} and {Kismet}.
3. Guns for the nd Amdmt.
4. Getting Earl's family to move permantly.
5. Prepare Earl's family in case I die.
6. Provide a steady income for the Sirs. | Teaching Lilly how to become a Specter.
7. Housing for the nd Amdmt families.
8. Class reunion this Sunday with Caroline and Harry. (Should I go?).
9. Purchase additional guns.
My list ded up with nine items. Number would be solved by getting blood from the Sirs. 3 and 9 meant going to a gun store. 7 could be done with a simple Google search. 4 and 5 could be solved with money if I played my cards right.
For , my new {Kismet} and the blessed bullets would do the trick. 6 would be my top priority later tonight. That just left number 8. If I died this Saturday, I wouldn't have to worry about it. But if I survived, I would have to decide whether or not to go.
Caroline Fisher, my first love and childhood sweetheart.
There was a time wh she was my whole world. But as sweet as our memories together were, our parting almost drove me to kill myself.
It was only because Earl and Noelle supported me that I managed to hang on. Suffice to say, I couldn't care less about the rest of our classmates. The only person who ev made me think about going was her.
"I wonder how she's doing?"
Most m would just try to get over a breakup with a new woman. But I couldn't do that. I was too hurt and could barely trust any female after that. I was bitter and restful for a long time.
"Now that I think about it, wh did I change?"
Somehow I felt I had healed since my death. Ev though I rarely looked at girls romantically, I could at least talk to them properly now.
I ev trusted some of them to a certain extt. As I thought deeply, only one group of people were responsible for this change.
The Sev Sirs.
If it took a Caroline to break my heart, the Sev Sirs pieced me back together. In the short time I spt with them, I felt valued, respected, and ev loved.
After Caroline destroyed my self-esteem, I stopped believing that I was worthy of other people's affection.