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She knew what Hawi wanted her to say and what she needed right now. She could tell that the lie about Sicario had broken Hawi\'s heart and would probably have her questioning herself again.

Here with her, Rukiya knew she could easily forge her way into the mad woman\'s heart, but then she was also sure that when Hawi snapped out of whatever this was, she would eventually turn on Rukiya, again.

It wasn\'t something that was easy to do and Rukiya Greyson knew she had a choice to make.

Frankly, she wished she could have Hawi beside her for a long time, but then she also knew that Malika didn\'t just sacrifice her freedom and willpower to the Sicarios just for Hawi to stay down like a cabbage head.

Malika wasn\'t here to take care of Hawi, and Rukiya knew that. But even she knew that there was something else that they needed. This version of Hawi was weak and humane, but that wasn\'t what Hawi needed right now.

Rukiya loved her, no doubt, but even she wanted the fierce woman she had fallen in love with. She did like this woman who was forgetting what she had gone through, the woman who had let her guard down, and that too when she wasn\'t even sure Rukiya was her ally.

Granted, Rukiya was, but if she truly has not been, then it would have been another betrayal for Hawi and that in itself was a horror that the Greyson alpha wasn\'t ready to deal with.

So she chose the worst option at the moment, but also the option that could remind their lands of who Awuor Hawi was, whether she was alive or dead.

"Get up, Hawi. I don\'t know what you\'re doing right now, but you must realize that your sworn protector just went into enemy territory, and in the few hours she had been there, she\'s been able to get you more information.

"That was something that you could have figured out at the wedding if you weren\'t too preoccupied with what Jer was thinking or what he wanted with you. Snap out of that, because they betrayed you.

"That is the truth, and you have to decide whether your nat to go back home and be the girl they ramble on again and not get any answers about your Mom, or you can get up and be the daughter Eniola sacrificed her life for.

"Your mom didn\'t sacrifice her life for you to wallow over people who don\'t even miss you," Rukiya said and she felt her heart constricting at her tone.

However she knew that Hawi needed a wake-up call and if she didn\'t get one, especially with Malika away from her, Hawi would spiral and lose herself. And that wasn\'t what Rukiya wanted.

She had known Awuor to be an excellent warrior, hell even Rukiya Greyson was scared of her and her strength.

That was just how powerful Hawi was, and yet in the past month, the version of Hawi that they had all seen was reduced to a lowly woman who wined and wallowed, and directed her anger at people who didn\'t deserve it.

They all needed a rational Hawi and if Malika couldn\'t do that for them, then Ruliya would just have to put her feelings aside and work with the devil to bring back the powerful woman they knew.

A woman who wasn\'t scared of shit and a woman who wasn\'t worried about her life.

She was known to be strong and crazy but more than anything, everyone who knew Hawi, knew that crossing her was a death sentence, and yet all this time, the woman hadn\'t done anything to retaliate against those who had done wrong to her.

"You\'re being too cruel, don\'t you think? I get that I\'m supposed to be the hero or whatever version of me you all have in your head. But am I not allowed to grieve or even express my feelings? Am I not allowed to be weak even for a moment?

"You say you love me and yet you don\'t understand what it means to be in my shoes. Maybe they were all right, maybe this was not a good idea from the very beginning. I should have just killed you at the beginning," Hawi said and Rukiya let out a scoff.

She knew it was a dangerous move, especially given how Hawi was still weak and down.

However, Rukiya also knew that the only way to get the woman back into the battlefield was to rile her up and make her into the woman who despised emotions, not the woman who was randomly kissing Rukiya like it was the norm.

Rukiya wasn\'t ever going to complain about Hawi\'s kisses, but she knew that Hawi had been using her as a distraction and that was something that Hawi wouldn\'t have done, or let pass if she had been in her right mind.

Maybe losing Eniola had rellayc fucked her up, and the fact that they had lied to her about her father, had just made her into a broken shell. She had loved her father and yet the man was playing chess with her emotions.

If she wasn\'t careful, Hawi would lose, and Rukiya wasn\'t going to let that happen, not after she heard of the things that the Sicarios had done to Hawi.

Sure, she didn\'t have a right to fight Sicario for Awuor, but she was going to make sure the woman got right back up and fought for herself, until the time came when she wanted Rukiya to join her on the battlefield.

"You really enjoy wallowing in self-pity, huh? Should we hold a fucking ceremony for your tears then? How long ago was the wedding?

"You were there when the negotiations started and your stupid fuck of a mate hadn\'t even realized that you were there, or that you were the one who officiated their wedding. That goes to show how insignificant you are to them.

"So get the fuck up woman, and go get your house in order. I have a pack to run, and I can\'t always be worrying about you just because I\'m in love with you.

"If this is what I\'m going to get when you hopefully agree to my proposal then I would rather not have you at all, I hate messes and you being a mess is the lowest of all lows. I\'m going back to my people, to actually be the alpha they need.

"You can say here and wallow about how life has been unfair to you, or you can find a way to bring down your enemies and protect the citizens of Sicario from them. Otherwise, you will be the alpha without a pack, just like they wanted, because your people will be walking bones.

"Whatever you do with that, I don\'t care. But keep in mind that I killed eight of your loyalists because they cared for you too much to the point that they triggered a pack war as the only way to get Jeremy killed.

"I\'m off, and don\'t look for me unless it\'s related to the stupid oath I bound myself to you with," Rukiya said angrily as she got up and walked away.

She could feel her heart breaking at the sight of Hawi going back to rest on the mat they had laid for her. It made Rukiya wonder if she had done the right thing, or if she had just given Hawi a chance to give up and never fight back.

Then again, even if Hawi were to fight, who was she to fight for? The same people that had watched and cheered that she be banished? It wasn\'t like the people knew that she had been armed.

The Sicario wolves were innocent in all this and if Hawi was going to save Sicario, she had to get back up and be the alpha they needed.

She had a throne to reclaim but would she get up today or was she still going to try and buy herself more time in the hope that the world wouldn\'t come down on her people, while she was staying beside the lake and hoping the breeze would punch some sense into her?