BXBX NOVEL Chapter 53: The weight of purity
Then, to keep my throat wet and going, I took another sip, allowing the herbal drink to soothe my throat...
Which made me feel like a rat who had just switched from eating straight from a dumpster to one that somehow got a golden ticket to a world-class restaurant.
And it applied to pretty much everything in this place.
Every room was filled with a different, distinct aroma, be it the slight sweetness of the gently burnt sandalwood of the main living room, the scent of the essential oils in the bathroom proper, the herbal smell of the fresh, morning forest, all the way to the old, smokey aroma of old books filled with the scent of the old whiskey barrels from which the carpenters sourced the wood for the shelves of the study.
When walking inside, as opposed to keeping my shoes on as I did back at my place, I instead enjoyed the perfectly soft carpet underneath my feet, turning every step from a simple motion of conquering space into a spiritual experience.
Then there was food, the furnishing of the room, the sights outside...
Everything about this place gave me a feeling of some other, different world...
A world that was all too common to Claire.
"While the elders of the clan couldn't really stop your mother from spending time with your father, everything changed when your mom got pregnant with you, her pregnancy being the solid proof that your father has... spoiled her?" I finally turned my mere repetition of Claire's story into an actual question.
Hearing the change in my voice, Claire raised her eyebrow and turned her head slightly off to the side, over her right shoulder, all the while giving me a puzzled look.
"Yeah, what about it?" she asked before carefully reaching out to the table and grabbing her cup of herbal tea.
As careful as Claire was to move it over from the table and then take the sip, most likely doing her best to avoid spilling it over and burning me, her face when she drank it... didn't change in the slightest, once again proving that what was luxury to me, was merely an every-day matter for her.
And while it was something I at least prepared myself mentally for... This difference in our perception of the world also served as a constant reminder for me.
A constant reminder that if I ever wanted to become an integral, active, and respectable part of her clan, this was the level of life I would have to be able to provide for her, lest I wanted Claire to associate the drop in her living standards with her relationship with me!
'What an unsettling thought...'
Still, rather than discussing my worry for the future, I've decided to focus on the topic at hand.
"Was that... spoiling act..." As easy as it was for me to lead up the discussion up to this point, right as I was about to voice the final preamble to my true question, I realized how it would sound.
"Yes, it means he took my mom's virginity," Claire sighed, most likely reading enough into my thoughts merely by observing as the worry grew on my face.
'Aren't we... a bit too good at reading each other, even though we met like what, a week ago?' Yet another unsettling thought carved out a piece of my brain to call home.
"Yeah, that's the thing I wanted to ask about," faced with the curveball of having Claire state the obvious openly and directly, I wasn't really sure how I was supposed to respond... so I just pieced some words into a response that carried absolutely no meaning or intent to it.
"Hmm?" Claire made a small, inquisitive noise, only to then raise her hand, grab my chin, and turn it over to the side, forcing me to look right into her face.
And with the girl sitting directly across my lap, there couldn't be more than just a few inches between our faces.
"Why are you so interested in my mom's virginity?" Claire asked, her face suddenly all tense while her eyes squinted as if focused on searching for even the tiniest detail of dishonesty.
"It's not your mom's..." I ended up biting my lips before lightly shaking my head. "I was wondering, if it was such a big deal for your mom, then..." Once again, I lost my own voice, struggling to push the right words out of my mouth.
But while it would be perfectly easy to just change the topic and avoid the burning question in my mind, it simply wasn't the right thing to do. Not if I wanted to do right by Claire.
"Then, isn't it kind of a massive deal for cultivators in general? For example... for you?"
I could still remember the hint of red, the way Claire's body all tensed up, the pained look on her face that lasted for a good second before the pleasure took over...
Even if it hadn't been said out loud thus far, I was pretty sure that Claire offered me her first time just last night.
And now I just learned that apparently, for cultivators, it was a pretty big deal, something much greater than the proof of purity that was otherwise rooted into human society as a virtue.
"I mean..."
Strangely enough, while clearly amused as I struggled to voice my concerns when it was her turn to speak, Claire's cheeks turned red while her eyes escaped to the side, moving as far off my face as they could.
"Yeah..." Claire lowered her head while her voice grew weaker and her hold over my neck harder. "It kinda is."
For quite some time, we simply sat down in silence, with nothing but the sound of our breathing and the ticking of some old clock on the wall to accompany our thoughts.
Ultimately, I moved my right hand from the armrest of the chair and onto Claire's waist before locking her in an embrace when I added my left hand.
"While I'm still not aware of how big of a deal it is, I promise," I rested my forehead against Claire's shoulder, "I will do my best to make it count."
Before my anxiety about Claire's response could start spiking up, I felt her hand rest down upon the back of my head before she moved it up and down, gently caressing my scalp with her delicate fingers.
"You don't have to worry about it. It was never my intention to burden you with this thought."
For just a little longer, I accepted Claire's gentle cuddle, before pulling my head back and recovering my smile, as tall of an order as it was.
"Okay then, moving on..." I muttered, my head lifted from Claire's shoulder... but my hands still locked over her waist. "Because of the difference of status, the moment she gave birth to you and ensured your safety, your mom had no other choice but to permanently retreat to the spiritual plane, right?"
Instead of answering, Claire simply nodded her head.
"That's correct," she then spoke out only to end up biting down on her lower lip. "And ever since, it was my father's one wish and desire to grow powerful enough to gain the indisputable right to reunite with her."