BXBX NOVEL Chapter 124: Side-effects
If back then, when I sat down on the ground, heavily pouting after the long and heavy task of absorbing a heck of a lot of spiritual energy, someone asked me what would be the most unimaginable scenario that could still, by some freak turn of things, play out…
Then even then, I could never even guess that I would end up sitting in the back of Chihiro's car - yes, apparently he used one too, and quite the old model at that - with Claire nodding off as she snuggled up to my arm and even in her sleep, refused to let my hand go.
"Once again, thanks…" I muttered, still struggling to get rid of the red from my cheeks from having to endure Claire's quite open advances right within her father's sight. "If not for you, I'm not sure if I could've handled her back then."
There wasn't an ounce of excessive praise or ass-licking in what I've just said. It was the embarrassing and pretty damn awkward thing to admit, but back then, Claire was all over me to the point that only her father's timely intervention in the form of a swift chop to the back of the girl's head that stopped her from ignoring our surroundings and getting dirty.
"Again, I'm not blaming you," Chihiro sighed from behind the wheel, taking it upon himself to steer the car as opposed to leaving it in the accurate steering pins of the AI. "First, what you guys did was already quite the legendary fear, not all that far from the…" the man hesitated for a bit, taking a look at my reflection in his rear-view mirror as he searched for the right word, "the device."
"How we've absorbed all of that energy?" I've asked, not really sure what Claire's father was talking about, yet still all eager to, despite the awkwardness of the situation, learn as much as I could from his gold-toned words.
Even if the gap between our cultivations has shrunk rapidly and from nearly the entire stage of existence to just three cultivation realms… He was still someone with an ocean of experience and practical knowledge that I simply lacked. Those two alone changed Chihiro in ways that made even the most fleeting of his remarks like pure gold for those who have yet to reach his stage of enlightenment.
Or, in simpler words, for a mere fresh sixth stage cultivator, even a casual word of a peak ninth stage was akin to an elixir… But an elixir that boosted my chances of attaining enlightenment upon reaching my next bottleneck rather than an elixir that would affect my cultivation directly, through the means of spiritual energy.
"Secondly, and once again, I don't blame you. While it's not all that known of a fact, what you did was essentially dual cultivation.
You've managed to achieve union on such a level, however, the act itself was no longer necessary for the ride," Chihiro explained before breathing out a heavy sigh right as he sharply pulled on his wheel, turning the car to the side as he cut the corner only to then rapidly accelerate onto the city's bypass rising above the local fauna and the general shape of the terrain and thus turning into the main visible mark of human presence in this otherwise overgrown area of the city's outskirts.
Then, after another heavy sigh reached my ears from the front of the car…
"But the fact that you can dual cultivate without the act, doesn't change how this kind of energy sharing does have some…" Chihiro hesitated for a little bit longer than I found comfortable, "effects?"
That much I could tell myself, seeing how unusually silent Claire was despite clearly not having the best sleep of her life, even when she held on to my hand for her dear life as if letting go of it would spell her doom.
But that wasn't it, this wasn't the root of this upsetting feeling I could feel at the bottom of my stomach.
"Save for how it puts us in heat, is there anything else I should be aware of?" I asked as I decided to take a risk and actually ask about the thing that was quickly turning into an itch in my head I just couldn't scratch.
Chihiro's silence, however, only served to confirm my seemingly irrational fear.
Even then, Claire's dad didn't stay silent for long.
"I'm not sure if you've observed this, but isn't Claire generally…" the man asked, only to then bite down on his mouth and shake his head. "No, you don't know her long enough. So, rather than observing it yourself, just take my word for it," he then spat out a series of words that only further confused me rather than clarified anything.
"All in all, Claire grew quite… silent and apathetic recently, didn't she?"
I squinted my eyes a bit as I thought back to the Claire I'd met back in her shop and the Clarie I could now see pushing me to greater heights than before, actively supporting my ideas and then always hanging off my arm, as if just holding hands was enough to satisfy all of her demands.
'Thinking back… I sure do provide value for her clan, but was I actually a good partner to begin with?' I suddenly came to face quite a heavy question. 'Putting aside all my ideas, talents, and prospects I bring… Don't I have it a bit too good?'
Torn by this sudden feeling, I looked down at Claire's restless face, how heavily her chest moved up and down to match her breathing, how she… clearly wasn't well.
"What about it?" I muttered silently, unable to tear my eyes away from Claire's face with even my hand moving on its own to first chase away a stray streak of her hair from her face, only to then end up gently caressing her cheek in a naive effort to make her feel… more comfortable?
Somehow, this attempt clearly worked, with Claire's grimace softening as she sank down even deeper into my shoulder.
"By sharing your spirituality, you basically allow your souls to usher into each other. And as great as it sounds…" Chihiro's voice suddenly grew deeper, more profound.
As if his words were backed by his own experiences rather than just some theoretical bullshit.
"Once you find yourself no longer talking, no longer doing stuff, no longer going out, just… lingering on the edge of life while only caring to be within the other's orbit…" Chihiro shook his head before raising his eyes to the rear-view mirror and giving me a long, weary look.
"Once you find yourself at that point, you will never stop questioning whether or not you two are still a thing to begin with. And when you ask this of yourself for the very first time, it will cast a shadow upon your relationship that will only ever grow dimmer and wider with time."