BXBX NOVEL Chapter 39: The Date (2)
The horse was gorgeous in every way possible. Especially with the whole black color, he was quite eye-catching. But still, I could not dare to go near him. It was my first time seeing a horse. In the town side, there were no horses and with my family\'s financial condition, the thought of going somewhere to see a horse was unimaginable.
But Dem helped me. I was feeling guilty. I could not do anything properly here and I did not know about many things. He had to help me with every single thing. I needed to be worthy of being the queen as soon as possible so he could rely on me as well.
We were being too fast. The wind felt dangerous as it fell on our skin. But he was not slowing down. I could not tell him to slow down as well. I would look scared if I did.
"I\'m holding you, my wife. Don\'t be scared and open your eyes. Look around," he said.
I had to muster a lot of courage to open my eyes and look ahead. It seemed like we were traveling the wind. Everything seemed to be going backward at full speed.
The air felt too cold. The hair on my nape stood up in the chill, but still, in the midst of all this, I could feel his warm breath falling on my skin.
Now that I managed to look around, I felt braver. The speed did not feel as scary as before. Even though I could not relax fully, perhaps looking around would not hurt.
"Like what you see now, my wife?"
"I can\'t see anything clearly. It\'s blurry. We\'re too fast, Dem," I said.
"Well, feel the speed then, my wife," he said.
"The speed?"
"This is how we chase someone," he said. "In the war, sometimes we have to go this fast as well."
"Don\'t you fall?" I asked. The speed was dangerous. If I was alone on the horse, I would have fallen a long time ago.
"I haven\'t ever," he said.
"Not even once? That\'s impossible. What about the time when you first learned?" I asked.
"Not even then. When you\'re the heir and you make a minor mistake, everyone goes against you. Well, I never fell in front of others. Because I always practiced a lot before I started training officially. It was my father\'s plan. He did not want to make me look weak.
He was right, you know. If anyone saw me falling from the horse, they would spread rumors that I am weak and not eligible to be the king. Father would train me himself. That time, if I say I didn\'t fall, that would be a huge lie. No one can be the best at first. It\'s not like everyone fails on the first try, but they don\'t do the best either.
It takes some time and practice. After I had mastered horse riding, only then I started taking training from the instructor," he said.
"When did you even start horse riding?"
"When I was four."
"... Do you guys perhaps are of a different size than us humans? Never mind. Ruby is just a bit taller than me."
It was very disturbing. How could they be like that? Just because an heir fell from a horse would mean that they were not worthy of the throne? What kind of stupid thinking was that?
Now I was sure that there were more of these stupid things other than this. First that mistress incident, and now this horse riding thing- everything was disgusting. No wonder Dem had become so cold. He had to endure all those things. If someone talked about Dem badly, I would surely give them a piece of my mind. They were not even worthy of talking about him.
I patted his chest lightly as I leaned against him. He was very warm and it seemed like his warmth was filling me with warmth as well.
He touched the back of my head and rubbed soothingly. Did he notice that I was trying to sympathize?
"Don\'t worry, my wife. Those things did not break me," he said.
"But they were horrible rules to follow," I said.
"I know. But you don\'t have to follow anything, my wife. I don\'t want you to do something that you don\'t like."
He had been saying the same thing all the time. He always tried to make me as comfortable as possible.
"I feel bad for you, Dem. I know what you\'re going to say. But still... Don\'t you ever cry, Dem?"
"No, I don\'t."
Perhaps it was part of those horrible things as well that if a king cried, he was considered weak. For some reason, I felt really bad for him.
"But if something or someone hurts you or if you just want to cry, I can lend you my shoulder or lap," I said. "And I will also cry with you. You don\'t have to feel embarrassed around me. I won\'t laugh like mean people."
I did not know what look he had on as I was leaning against his chest. He chuckled all of a sudden and kissed the top of my head.
We did not have to ride too much after that. I was so busy cursing those horrible rules in this world inside my head that I did not even notice where we were.
We were on top of a hill. The place where we stood was deprived of any trees or anything else. It was like a circular place without any trees. The place was strangely soundless as well.
But it was a very... I did not know how to describe- beautiful or sacred? Or something else? There was a huge tree in the middle of the round place, but I could not recognize it. It was the first time I could not recognize a tree. I had read all about them and with my photographic memory, it was hard for me to forget something that I once read about.
The tree looked strangely familiar while at the same time unknown. Black flowers bloomed in every branch. The flowers were very little but mass in number. The tree looked like a wave of darkness.
"Legends say that under this very tree, the Moon Goddess made the first werewolf. Well, there is no proof of it. It\'s kind of like a myth," he said. "But I like this place. It\'s where I used to come when I needed a break from everything. You know, it has a calm atmosphere."
He was right. The place was indeed calm, too calm to be precise. It felt like there were no living beings here.
"It\'s beautiful," I mumbled.
"It\'s beautiful?"
"Yeah, it\'s strange."
"Strange indeed. But not this place. It\'s you who is strange," he said.
"Huh?"
"How can you call this place beautiful? No matter how you look at it, it\'s gloomy and dark. Other werewolves avoid this place. Because they think this place is cursed."
"But you said that the Moon Goddess made the first werewolf here. Then..."
"But I haven\'t told you the rest, my wife," he said. "The first werewolf fell in love with the Moon Goddess. She was said to be beautiful. But you cannot love God. Not in that way. You can be a loyal servant, but you can never be equal.
The first werewolf pushed too hard and tried to touch the Moon Goddess. And that\'s when it happened. The flowers that were once white turned black and this place became so gloomy that even animals don\'t come here. No werewolf comes here as well. They say if you come here, you will be cursed as well. You will be a monster."
"Still you like this place, don\'t you? That means you don\'t believe in that rumor."
"But, my wife, I am a monster."
"A monster? You call yourself a monster, then you must be a monster," I said. "Even if this place is cursed, you chose to come here. Even though you knew you would be a monster, you still came here. Because it\'s your choice. If you choose to be a monster, then what can someone else do for it?
It\'s your life. So the choice must be yours as well. And to me, this place is beautiful because of its uniqueness. It\'s not like I believe the rumor. I don\'t actually care about this kind of thing. It\'s my choice after all."
I looked up at him and held his hand. "And if I choose to be with a monster, that\'s my choice as well. There is nothing you or anyone else can do. As I said, my choice is mine only."