Chapter 125: Get Better Soon
And I also appreciated the doctor\'s gaze towards her. He was just being professional and that was exactly what I wanted. The problem was most of the doctors were male and I did not like the way most of them looked at her. But the last one was good at being professional and Blue did not seem uncomfortable as well.
"Can you get up a bit so I can feed you the medicine?" I asked.
She nodded slightly. It seemed even just a simple move even made her whole body tremble. That was how weak she was...
I helped her get up and she leaned against my shoulder. I helped her take the medicine. Her lips trembled slightly against my finger. If I had known that it would happen if she conceived my child, perhaps I would find any other way.
"I-I have... s-something to... tell you," she mumbled.
"What is it?" I asked and wrapped my arm around her. "Let me wrap the blanket around you. It\'s cold..."
As I wrapped the blanket around her, I could feel even more that she had gotten slender. I was always worried about her since she always looked weak and never ate enough though she said that it was enough for her. I always felt like she ate like a little bird. But now she was eating even less.
"Luc... told me a-about... a few t-things," she said.
"Luc? Did he tell you about something strange?" I asked. I did not need her to tell me to know what Luc might tell her. He surely said what he was thinking that night at the magic tower. Even though I told him not to do unnecessary things, he still told her this.
"W-Well, he isn\'t... all t-that wrong... He has a p-point..."
"Did he tell you about all the dark mage things?" I asked.
She nodded. "R-Remember... I told y-you that... my father is n-not... exactly my f-father?" she said. "I d-don\'t really...
look like t-them... so it h-has to be... true, r-right?"
"I will beat him up," I muttered under my breath.
"L-Listen to... me f-first...," she slapped on my shoulder though it was more like the feel of wind on skin. "So, L-Luc told... me t-that h-he sensed... black m-mana from me t-that... night.
H-He is... s-suspecting..."
"I will beat him to death."
"D-Dem!"
"Yes, love?"
"You... you\'re n-not... listening to m-me!"
"I am," I said. "I understand what you mean. What else did he say?"
Though I did not want to listen to what idiotic thing that punk had said, I did not want to upset my sweet wife. I liked it when she was angry since she looked adorable, but now that she was sick, I did not want to stress her out.
"H-He said... that... well, it\'s a-about... my recovery..."
"What? What did he say?" I asked eagerly. Even though I sometimes hated his guts and his strange personality, if he could cure her, I would even listen to all his words.
"C-Calm down...," she muttered. "W-Well, if I-I truly... have black m-mana inside me... and if m-my power as... a dark mage is a-awakened, I-I will be... able to r-recover."
"Will you be okay if I leave for a while now? I will leave your maid with you," I said.
"W-Why?"
"I will go talk to Luc and find out as much as possible about it," I said. "Why didn\'t he tell me this before?"
"I-Isn\'t that... your fault?"
"My?"
"Y-You are the one... who read his m-mind and then you e-even... were angry a-at him... You k-kept telling... him not t-to think... about weird...
t-things even t-though he was... right," she pouted. "You s-should\'ve l-listened to h-him first... You are a-always like t-that with e-everyone... You even d-don\'t... listen t-to me s-sometimes.
Even a w-while... ago, you d-did not... listen t-to me properly... and was s-saying that you w-will... b-beat Luc up... You need to be a bit...
more c-considerate o-of others a-and... listen t-to them p-properly."
\'Is it just me or she is complaining more than normal? I wonder if it\'s another effect of pregnancy...\'
"You d-don\'t... love me a-anymore?"
"Where did that come from?" I asked.
"Y-You don\'t l-listen... to me..."
"But I listened to you, didn\'t I? Or how would I find out about it? I can\'t even read your mind because of the necklace," I pointed out.
She rubbed her index finger against her lips. "So, y-you listened... to me?"
"Yes, I did," I nodded.
"Oh... T-That means... you l-love me," she said.
"That\'s right."
"Oh, ok t-then," she said and it seemed like she relaxed all of a sudden.
\'So cute...\'
Only if she was not sick, I could enjoy this moment fully. Though I did not want any kind, if it was with her, anything was okay. But I still did not know how to feel if our child become like me. One thing was sure- I would not be too fond of it.
"I need to go now. You will be ok, right?"
"N-No..."
"What no?"
"N-No..."
"You don\'t want me to leave?" I asked.
"D-Don\'t... l-leave..."
I sighed. "Alright, will it be okay if I go after you sleep?"
"B-But I... don\'t w-want y-you to... leave m-me... You said you l-love me..."
"Okay, I won\'t leave. Is it okay now?" I asked.
"Hmm...," she nodded.
\'I\'m sorry, but because I love you, I have to go. If it\'s for you, I sometimes can\'t listen to even you...\'
"Want to lie down?" I asked.
"N-No...," she shook her head. "I w-want... you to t-take me in y-your arms... and stay like... t-that..."
"Is that so? Then I will do as my wife wishes," I chuckled.
I took her in my arms and sat on the bed, resting my head against the headrest. She snuggled close to me and closed her eyes. It seemed like she was listening to my heartbeat.
None of us said anything. But the silence was not uncomfortable. It was filled with emotions. It had been like this for the past two weeks. It was as if she was relaxed in the silence and I always looked for comfort in it. With my sick wife in my arms, I just stared blankly at the ceiling, sighing, wondering when she would be able to smile brightly at me again.
I had never known how much someone could be affected if someone else was sick. I always thought I would never feel something like this. But who knew that someday I would feel so helpless even though I was the king, the most powerful in the kingdom, for someone so little and fragile like a tiny bird?
"Get better quickly, darling," I said as I hugged her. "And smile at me again."
I had never felt sad. It was the first time. With her, almost everything was a first. She made me feel different. I wondered if I was the same. I did not let anyone else get her.
I made sure she was mine and no one else got the chance to get closer to her or make her happy. It was a selfish desire of a selfish person. Her smile- I wanted to be the reason for it. I wanted her to be happy, but she needed to be happy with me. I wondered if her heart also stopped for a moment when I embraced her because she was so surprised and happy.
Did her mind also get hazy when I was close to her? Did she want to touch me for no reason at all? And did she ever fear if we got separated? Because I did...
Every time I would feel her close to me, I would fear what would happen if she looked at someone else and felt like he could be better than her husband. What if she would look at him the way she looked at me when she said she loved me? That look on her face- I wanted to be the sole person to be able to see it.
There was only one thing I could wish for that her love for me would never fade away. I was not a good person, but I could make her happy. \'So please be satisfied with a bad person who can make you happy... Because if you don\'t, perhaps I have to lock you up so you can\'t leave and even if you hate me for it, I just want you to be close to me.\'