Chapter 175: It Was Just A Dream
"Give him to me," Dem said sternly.
"W-What?"
"I said give him to me."
He could not want to hold the child because he felt some kind of affection towards it. There was surely something else that was in his mind.
"Why?" I asked, looking at him carefully.
He snatched the child away from me, despite my efforts. I was too weak to stop him, but I still tried all I could, only to fail.
"Don't hold him like that. He will get hurt," I cried. "Your grip... Loosen your g-grip..."
"I told you I don't want a black-eyed child," he muttered angrily. "It is not on you who you will give birth to. But I have decided that it won't be my child."
"What are you saying?" I asked, sobbing.
He did not look at me even for once as he started to leave the room. "Don't... Where are you taking him? Don't. You are not going to kill him, are you?"
"That's exactly what I am going to do," he said, without looking at me and not stopping in his pace.
"Don't... Please don't! Don't kill him! Give him to me... please... Dem, please...
Don't leave!"
I cried, I begged. But he did not listen. He took the child away with that disgusted look on his face. I tried to stand up, but due to my weak body, I ended up falling down as my knees gave away. Ruby held me quickly and tried to calm me down. She was saying something, but I could not hear anything.
I only remembered screaming... and crying... and begging.
"No! Don't take him away!" I yelled, only to realize that I was on a bed. I was sweating profusely and my hands were shaking violently.
"What's wrong? Are you alright?"
I looked at my husband in front of me, his eyes soft and there was a worried expression on his face. But...
"Don't touch me!" I snatched my hand away from him.
"Blue...," he muttered, shocked.
"Where is he?"
"What are you saying? Who are you talking about?"
"The child... Our child... Where is he? Did... did you kill him?"
"Our child?"
"You didn't kill him, right? You didn't, right? Even if he has black eyes... You didn't... Tell me you didn't kill him... Please," I cried.
Tears were pouring down my cheeks and my heart was breaking. I just needed to know that child was alive.
"Hey, calm down..."
"What did you do to him? Tell me! What did you do to him?!" I yelled.
"Calm down!" he yelled back. "Child! What child? You aren't even a month pregnant! How can you give birth to a child?"
"I haven't...?"
"No," he shook his head and sighed. "It was just a bad dream."
"A bad dream...," I panted. He got me a glass of water and I drank it quickly. My heart was still beating faster and it was hard to breathe.
I looked around the room. We were still at Ataraxia. It was our bedroom of the palace where we were staying. It was just a dream after all, no, a nightmare.
But even if it was a nightmare, it was not baseless. I had my suspicion that Dem was the type of person to do something like that.
"Haa...," I breathed heavily.
"Lie down," he said. "You need rest."
I glanced at him once. His face showed warmth, his brows were wrinkled with worries; I saw this very face making a scary look as he disgustedly looked at the child.
It happened again. Tears started to fall again. I did not want to cry, yet I could not help myself. What was wrong with me? My heart felt heavy, but I wanted to stay strong. I did not want to shed tears.
But perhaps because that innocent face of the boy was engraved in my mind, I could not bring myself to forget what Dem did, even if it was in a dream only.
His hand shot out on its own to touch my wipe my tears, but he stopped just an inch away. His black eyes met mine and he asked, almost silently, "Can I touch you?"
"... Yes..."
He wiped my tears with his thumbs, gently pressing them over my skin as if he was afraid that I would get hurt. I held his left hand and leaned my face against it.
"When we will have a child, you... won't kill it, right?" I said. "You said you won't."
"I won't," he nodded. "Is it what you saw in your dream?"
"Hmm... Even if it has black eyes, right?"
"... That's right."
That pause frightened me. I held his hand even tighter. "You won't! You won't kill it!"
"Yes, I won't. Don't get so worked up, sweetheart. I won't kill it," he said quickly and patted my head with the other hand.
"I am... scared..."
"Do you want me to hug you?"
"Yes... Make it all go away," I mumbled. "I am scared, I really am..."
He climbed on the bed and hugged me, pulling me on his lap. I felt safer than before. This man- if I could change him just a bit, it would be fine.
'That's right... Just a bit, I need to change him just a bit. We will be okay then... Only a bit... I have to try harder to change his views.'
But no matter how hard I would try, it was him who needed to take steps to change his views. If he did not want to, there was nothing I could do.
He rubbed my back gently. It was dark outside. But when we were at King Ford's place, it was almost morning.
"You were unconscious for two days," he said as if he knew what I was thinking. "I was really worried. I thought..."
"Two days?"
"Yes. Two whole days," he said. "Luc brought Doctor Dimitri."
"He used teleportation?"
"Hmm... There was no other way to bring him as soon as possible."
"But... but teleportation takes a lot of energy. Is Luc alright?"
"... Don't you dare worry about others when you are this weak," he said angrily. But he was controlling himself so he would not raise his voice. "And Luc is alright. Just don't worry about anything else. Focus on getting better only."
"Uh-huh..."
"The doctor said that it's because you pushed yourself too much. You coughed up blood because your body was too weak," he said. "And more importantly, it's because of your mental health."
"Mental health?"
"Yes. You are overthinking things and pressing yourself emotionally. It's having an adverse effect on both your body and mind," he said. "... I know I am not good enough. But still, please try to share your thoughts with me.
Don't push yourself too hard. I don't want you to be like that. You have a husband. At least, try to talk to me. I will try to understand you. Don't keep everything to yourself."
What could I even do? There were a lot of things I was worried about. It was not hard to tell him about it. But the hardest part was- I could not describe them in words. How I was feeling, what was going on in my head- they were hard to describe.
"I understand... I will try to talk to you," I muttered. That was all I could say for now. Even though I was not sure if I would be able to do it, I wanted to reassure him so he would not worry. "These two days... Haa, I messed everything up, didn't I?"
"Why would you say that? You are trying your best, darling. It's just that you are sick right now. That's why... All you can do is not push yourself hard," he said. "Doctor Dimitri is staying at this palace now so he can check up on you frequently.
Thankfully, I had told him before coming here that we might need him anytime so he could prepare himself."
"You did?"
When it came to me, Demetrius was very caring and attentive. He took care of everything for me and made sure I would not have any trouble. He was a perfect husband, but then, there was a twist... Just a little one, but it was enough to worry me.
"Of course. I need to get everything ready," he said as if it was the most obvious thing to do.
"Hmm..."
I hugged him tighter and tightened my legs around his waist. It seemed he was the base I was holding onto.
We remained like that for a long time. None of us said anything. There was a thing that we needed to talk about- the past. But none of us mentioned it. It was as if we silently agreed that we talked enough about it in the presence of King Ford. We would not talk about it again.