BXBX NOVEL Chapter 127: The Arcing Moon
Chapter 127: The Arcing Moon
The stars were twinkling, and the cold wind was blowing gently.
Rising in the sky was a beautiful crescent moon, chipped and arched.
It shone in the middle of the sky, fleetingly, it shone silvery white and illuminated the surroundings.
Slowly warming her hands with her breath, Berry looked up at the sky.
The large, chipped arc was distorted, yet infinitely beautiful.
It waxed and waned repeatedly, far from the perfection of a perfect circle, and it seemed in danger of suddenly disappearing from the sky.
――Berry liked the appearance of that moon.
The crisp sound of treading snow echoed from behind her.
The steps were just a little slow, erratic and unsteady.
Bery turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps.
"Welcome back, Krische-sama."
"……Yes."
Embracing the little body by her side, she combed her silver hair, which resembled the moonlight.
Then she stroked it gently.
"...Krische couldn\'t say."
"Is that so?"
Bery said, inviting her inside her own cloak.
"Look, you can see a beautiful moon today."
"――Like Krische-sama’s name, it is a very beautiful crescent moon."
"――In order to atone for your sins, you could say that it is generally the right thing to tell them. But I can\'t say it\'s a good thing either. It can even destroy all the happiness you had before. You could say it\'s self-satisfaction."
Bery told Krische.
"What is important is what Krische-sama wants to do and what Krische-sama thinks you should do on top of that. That\'s all that matters, and it\'s a matter of what\'s in Krische-sama’s heart. Just…"
Without telling her what to do,
"I believe that Krische-sama is right in thinking that way, and that there is no mistake in Krische-sama’s conclusion. Whatever it may be, at least I think so."
She just left the choice to Krische.
Krische spent the rest of the night wondering what she should do, but she had no answer.
It was the same as Garo, who touched her body.
She thought he deserved to die, and she felt refreshed when she killed him.
She still didn’t think it was a complete mistake, but now she felt bad for making Gala sad.
Apologizing for it would probably be the right thing to do.
But Gala didn’t know. She didn’t even notice.
She seemed to have already accepted her son\'s death, and she had always had a good relationship with Krische, and she loved her.
Gala would be sad and angry if she knew that Krische had killed her child.
Maybe she would realize that everything she had been through had been a sham, and she would be unhappy.
She might think that her love for the abnormal Krische was a hopeless tragedy.
It was right to tell, but it was not good.
Maybe that\'s what Bery was trying to say, and maybe she shouldn\'t apologize.
She never felt bad for the person she had killed.
Because she never thought of that in the first place.
"What\'s wrong, Krische-chan?"
She had finished eating at Gala\'s house and asked Bery to leave first.
It was Krische who did the wrong thing, and Krische didn\'t want Berry to be yelled at together with her.
Bery would probably just take whatever abuse she was given in silence. She would not get angry at them for being unreasonable but would listen to them as if she was the one that had committed the sin. If she was attacked, she might not even resist.
Bery always made an effort for Krische.
For Krische’s sake, she was willing to go to great lengths.
That\'s why she didn\'t want her to be here.
It was the abnormal Krische who was at fault, not Bery.
She wanted to be the Krische that Bery loved with all her heart.
She wanted to be the Krische who could see and feel the same things as Bery, and could honestly say that what Bery thought was good was good and what Bery thought was bad was bad.
"... Krische-chan?"
The trigger was all Bery
Probably because she saw Bery happily talking to Gala.
Bery must have been sad to see Gala wiping her tears in front of her grave.
So she suddenly remembered something from the past that she didn\'t even remember anymore.
It was something that could have been kept a secret from Bery, but her chest was feeling foggy, and she felt like she had to tell Berry.
One thing that came to her mind as to why that was.
She didn\'t want to create a lie in her relationship with Bery.
Krische couldn’t understand other people well.
Everyone was so ambiguous, had a pretext, and was full of lies.
Krische’s normal was not even their normal, so she could not understand them.
That\'s why Krische had spent her days worrying about her reputation, taking care of her appearance so that she could get along with them, trying to look like a good child.
‘――So, please tell me about various parts of Krische-sama. Leaving aside other people, at least I want to understand each other with Krische-sama. If you have common ground, you will enjoy more and more things, and you will be happier.…Me and Krische-sama.’
That\'s why she was so happy to hear that.
Berry was the only one who accepted and tried to understand all of Krische’s weird parts――Krische didn\'t want to lie to such Bery.
She didn\'t want to bring falsehoods into her relationship with Bery by hiding things like that.
"Uhh, there\'s something Krische wants to talk to Oba-san about..."
Krische began slowly.
"No matter what kind of sin Krische-sama commits in the future, I will continue to love Krische-sama. However, it is very painful for a loved one to sin without knowing it, so I taught Krische-sama various things to prevent that from happening. …I just want Krische-sama to live a happy life without committing sin."
Sin was something that must be atoned for.
At least if you know it was a sin.
If Krische felt it was a sin, that’s how it should be.
Bery taught Krische many things so she can be happy.
She had always taught her about everything from empathy, love, and cooking――Bery always taught her something about spending time with others.
At least it wasn\'t for the fake relationships that Krische had created.
What she always offered to Krische was something to create an authentic relationship.
She didn’t think it was self-satisfaction, nor did she think it was a good thing.
Gala liked Krische, and Krische liked Gala.
She thought it was a good relationship, but it was a false one.
There was nothing but a disadvantage to destroying it, but Krische felt that it should be done.
Krische wanted to be like Berry.
She wanted to see and rejoice in the same things, to see and grieve in the same things, to feel the same things.
She didn’t know what was right and what was good.
However, if Bery was here, she would surely do so, so Krische spun the words.
"It\'s about Oba-san’s...child."
"...Kayle?"
Gala\'s eyes widened and she stared at the downcast Krische.
"... Yes. To be honest... even though Krische said Krische didn\'t care, Krische was concerned about Kayle and Katias saying bad things about Krische."
Gala wrinkled her brow thoughtfully.
"Krische was really annoyed that they were badmouthing Krische to so many people…Krische thought it would be nice if they just disappeared."
She closed her eyes as she listened to Krische’s words.
"That’s why, Krische――"
Krische tried to continue her words,
"Krische-chan, let’s stop there."
"...Eh?"
But Gala stopped it.
Gala sighed at the surprised Krische.
"I\'ve always thought it was strange when we were cooking and eating, because Krische-chan, who loves to cook and is such a glutton, looked so gloomy."
"...Oba-san."
Then she smiled and continued.
"What I just heard convinced me, but I don\'t want to hear more. So even if Krische-chan wants to talk more, please stop."
"But――"
"It\'s okay."
Gala looked up at the ceiling and fell silent for a while.
She closed her eyes and calmed her breathing.
Then she looked at Krische.
"...I accepted it a long time ago, and today, finally, Kayle has left too. Whatever actually happened, whatever it was...it\'s over now. Oba-san doesn\'t want to hear about it."
Gala reached for Krische’s head.
Krische was frightened for a moment but held on and did not move.
Gala just gently stroked her head.
"Oba-san loves Krische-chan very much, and now, Krische-chan is like Oba-san\'s purpose in life. No matter what the truth was at the time... Oba-san spent time thinking that way, and Oba-san had thought about various things and decided."
While stroking her like that,
"... No matter what Krische-chan says now, Oba-san won\'t hold a grudge against Krische-chan anymore."
Gala told her with gentle, slightly sad eyes.
At the time, she suspected that Krische might have had something to do with this.
She knew that her son had done terrible things to her, and she knew that the girl Grace had taken in was a little different from the norm.
She couldn’t say she never thought Krische might have done something to her son.
But she never showed any sign of it, and she would come over to borrow the oven and cook with her.
As these days turned into her daily routine, those doubts disappeared before she knew it.
She began to see only her good side much more than before.
"...That’s why the talk ends here."
Krische killed the bandit to protect the village.
Krische who was spoiled by Grace and herself.
Krische who was hardworking and polite, but also gluttonous and stubborn.
Even now, the many images of Krische from her time in the village would always float behind her eyelids.
Whatever truth she was about to tell, Gala had found happiness again by loving her.
Nothing more was needed.
"But Oba-san..."
"If Krische-chan isn’t convinced, then my punishment for Krische-chan is for Krische-chan to do so and for to keep quiet. Okay?"
"but……"
Krische was still not convinced.
However, looking at Gala\'s face, she nodded as if she had given up.
"……Y8es"
"...Good girl. Come here."
Gala held the downcast Krische and pressed her cheek against her head.
Gala smiled as she caressed the silky silver hair.
"... Oba-san has decided to love Krische-chan, for Grace\'s part too. Even though Krische-chan came home, please don\'t make that face."
Krische said nothing and nodded.
Gala continued.
"You\'re going to say goodbye tomorrow, but if it’s like this isn’t it sad. Oba-san wants Krische-chan to smile. Grace wants that too."
"...Kaa-sama?"
"Yes, Grace too."
She patted Krische on the back, got up, and opened the closed wooden window.
"…It was cloudy all the time, but today is the day when we can see a rare and beautiful crescent moon."
She looked at the moon, smiled, and returned to Krische.
"On the day that Krische-chan came back by chance, Krische was floating in the night sky. ...Oba-san thinks Oba-san can hear Grace\'s wish that Krische would always smile and be happy.
Gala laughed at the bewildered Krische, asking if she couldn’t believe it.
As she laughed, she kissed Krische on the forehead.
"Even if it\'s a coincidence, it\'s a wonderful thing that\'s steeped in fate. Anyway, at least Oba-san believes so, and Oba-san thinks so....Oba-san wants Krische-chan to smile for Oba-san who believes so."
"――Tomorrow, I want Krische-chan to go back with a smile and think that Krische-chan is glad she came back here."
Gala kissed her on the forehead again.
Krische’s eyes remained downcast, but she nodded firmly.
"...Okay"
"Okay, that\'s fine....It\'s already late today, and Bery-san is also waiting for you. Now, go."
The voice and face remained gentle to the end.
The image of such Gala was burned into Krische’s eyes.
――Krische simply pressed her face against Bery without looking up at the sky.
Bery listened in silence as Krische repeated Gala words to her, piece by piece.
Bery smiled somewhat relieved and stroked Krische’s head.
"It\'s what Krische -sama decided and what Gala -sama wanted....if so, that\'s all that matters."
After listening to the story, Bery said so and smiled.
Krische was not convinced, but there was nothing more she could do now that she had been told not to talk about it.
"Actually, the truth is trivial."
Bery caressed her cheek as Krische lifted her face.
"There is no way to know for sure what the truth is, it\'s just a trick of words. We all live in a place that is convenient for us, so we just choose what is plausible and convenient among the deceptions."
"――If that leads to the person’s happiness, then that’s fine."
Berry said and looked at her own hand.
"If you are forcing something they don\'t want on someone because it is the truth and it destroys their happiness, then I don\'t think it is a good thing to do."
"Is that...so?"
"Whether it\'s true or not, at least I think so. People are creatures who choose and decide what is true for themselves."
She laughed mischievously and looked at Krische.
"Krische-sama, how can Krische-sama believe that I love you?"
"Eh?"
"It\'s not like Krische-sama can see what\'s in my heart. But isn’t it because Krische-sama thinks it\'s plausible, a convenient, and a happy truth?"
"That is……"
When Krische suddenly became uneasy, Bery smiled wryly.
"Likewise, I couldn’t see what\'s inside Krische-sama’s heart, so I don\'t know if it\'s the real truth. But the reality that Krische-sama loves me makes me feel very happy, so I just believe that."
She put strength into the hand that held Krische and kissed her forehead as she held her body close to hers.
"... See, the truth is trivial, isn\'t it? What is important is the matter of how the person perceives that truth."
After saying that Bery turned her eyes to the sky again.
A fleeting silver crescent moon in the sky——gently illuminating the area.
"Rightness and good and evil are all just interpretations that are convenient for someone. Socially, it would be said that the majority is right, and the minority is wrong. …In that sense, Krische-sama may be wrong and evil."
Krische was frightened by the words, and Bery continued.
"However, I feel that the answer that Krische-sama gave after worrying about it is a good answer. Gala-sama also thought about various things before telling Krische-sama not to say anything, and Krische-sama chose to take Gala-sama\'s words to heart."
She stretched out her hand as if to frame the moon and narrowed her eyes.
"... The result of both of you thinking about each other. I think that the conclusion you should look at is not just something like in general, so I think that\'s fine."
Krische looked at her and let her gaze wander.
She really didn’t know if this was correct or not.
Even so, Bery still affirmed Krische.
She felt happy, scared, filled with incomprehensible feelings.
"Actually, just like Krische-sama is worried about it, I don’t really understand it either.…What is really right and what is good? I don\'t know for sure."
"Bery, too?"
"Yes. …Some people may say that murder is a sin and should not be forgiven for whatever reason. I can\'t deny that, and I can also agree with what that saying. There is a certain righteousness to it."
Bery giggled and fell backward.
She plunged her body in the knee-deep snow.
"Bery!?"
Krische was surprised by the sudden eccentricity, but Bery sprawled on the snow and laughed happily.
She giggled like a little girl, and put her hand on Krische’s cheek as she crouched down, looking worried.
"But I don\'t really care about good and evil and righteousness.... I believe in Krische-sama more than anyone else."
The feeling of snow on her cold body.
She felt her mind, which had been pondering for so long, calm down.
No matter how many years ago it happened, Krische should atone for her sin and be punished according to the law.
She didn’t think that idea was wrong. If Bery told her to do it, she would do it.
But Krische had strength, and political power as a noble.
In fact, when she left the village, it would be difficult for the village to judge her, who had become a noble of the kingdom. Even more so now——before that political power her sin at this small village was the same as nothing.
"... No matter what Krische-sama says, no matter what Krische-sama wants, there is no one in the Kingdom who can judge Krische-sama as a sinner."
Even if she talked about the truth because it was the truth, it would only be unhappy for everyone.
Then who in the world would judge this girl for her sins?
"From the point of view of the Kingdom\'s interests, there isn’t even a need to weigh the villagers against Krische-sama. The law cannot judge Krische-sama, nor will Krische-sama be judged..…For example, even if Krische-sama finds me unpleasant and kills me here, even if Krische-sama burns this village to the ground, Krische-sama will surely be free without being judged by anyone."
"K-Krische, ...that kind of thing."
"Of course, I don\'t think that Krische-sama would do such a thing. But I\'m just saying that Krische-sama can do it."
Was it all right to kill in battle? Is it okay to kill people if they were bandits?
There was no difference between killing someone because it is unpleasant.
In the end, it was just a just cause for profit, the difference was whether it was a comfortable reason to listen or not.
——Murder was not justified for any reason, and it was always unjust.
" Krische-sama has the power to break any rule, law, or order. If Krische-sama wishes and wields her power, Krische-sama will be allowed to do anything. If you have as much power as Krische-sama, then that’s definitely not a mistake."
"...Eh?"
To the puzzled Krische, Bery continued, saying it’s simple.
"After all, law is only a formality. It is nothing more than a statement that sounds good within the scope of the law and that shows such correctness....The very concepts of justice and evil, sin and punishment do not reside there."
At least, she didn\'t think it was that kind of formality that was important.
She stared at the puzzled girl\'s violet eye and narrowed her eyes.
"I don’t mind if Krische-sama kills me. Whether it\'s the Ojou-sama or Kreschenta-sama, even if Krische-sama kills all the people in the kingdom, they will forgive Krische-sama. As long as Krische-sama doesn\'t care about anyone, Krische-sama has the power to do so. I\'m sure Krische-sama knows that, and it\'s not wrong for Krische-sama to do so... But does Krische-sama not do so?"
"... Because Krische doesn\'t want to do that."
Krische’s gaze wavered, as if probing Bery\'s intentions.
Krische answered with a look of unease on her face, and Bery caressed her cheek to ease it.
"Don\'t want to... In the past, Krische-sama said that it’s because there is a law against killing people. Do you remember?"
"...Krische did. But... tha-that\'s not it——"
Krische was about to say that it was different now, but it seemed as if nothing had changed in her mind since then.
Krische loved Bery so Krische wouldn\'t kill her. Same with Selene and Kreschenta.
Krische didn’t want to do anything bad because it would be sad for Bery and the others, and because it would not be good for Kreschenta.
That\'s all there was to it, and her vague thoughts didn\'t turn into words, and she could not say that what she had said was a lie, a mistake, or anything else.
She just wanted to do good and be a good girl.
And she just wanted to be recognized as such.
That\'s why she stuttered without saying anything, and Bery smiled at her.
"That\'s all that matters. ...I think that the feelings that Krische-sama is feeling right now are what Krische-sama should cherish above all else."
"...But Krische is not a good girl at——"
"At least, the current Krische-sama is trying to feel righteousness and good and bad, and is trying to cherish it. Krische-sama strives to be better for someone else, and the fact that Krische-sama thinks seriously about it is proof that Krische-sama is a good child more than anything else."
Deep down, Bery thought so.
That\'s why she thought Krische was beautiful.
She was too strong and better than anyone else.
There was no one in this world who could judge her.
No one can deny her righteousness by force.
"...I don\'t even know if Krische-sama\'s choice is right or not."
For her, who tries to live in a normal world despite being different from other people, it was a tragedy above all that there was no one to correct her mistakes.
She lacked what she should be and if she still hoped to obtain the happiness that was only natural in the normal world, there was only one way to do it, Bery thought.
"But I believe that Krische-sama is kinder and purer than anyone else… At least, I think that the answer that Krische-sama is seriously worried about and arrived at is not wrong."
And Bery had decided to believe her.
When Bery smiled at her, Krische’s gaze wavered as if she were frightened.
And, she muttered.
"...Krische doesn’t have confidence."
"Didn\'t I tell Krische-sama? Even I don\'t have confidence."
She rubbed Krische’s cheek lovingly and continued.
"…It’s not that the result is right. I just believe that it’s the right thing for Krische-sama to think seriously about a question that has no answer. I believe that the most important thing is always the process."
Beckoned by her hand, Krische fell to her as she sank into the snow.
"If Krische-sama thinks it\'s a sin, then bear the sin in Krische-sama\'s own way, and if Krische-sama thinks Krische-sama should be punished, in Krische-sama\'s own way receive the punishment. Reflect on yourself so Krische-sama doesn\'t commit another crime, try to do something good for someone else... don\'t stop thinking, don\'t run away."
*Pofu*, a somewhat silly sound resounded, and what she felt was warmth.
"I believe that it is good to keep trying, and that it will eventually lead to the right thing to do. Of course, it will be very difficult. It may be especially difficult for Krische-sama.…But I will always been on Krische-sama’s side——"
The frosty coldness of the snow accentuated her gentle voice and the sensation of her body.
"Even if everyone in the world says that Krische-sama is wrong, I am the only one who can confidently assert that Krische-sama is not wrong. ...Yes, I will swear with confidence."
"Is this not enough?", Bery said, smiling.
Krische gasped.
――Everyone in the world, no matter what they think.
Bery often used that phrase to talk to Krische.
These words were also the same word as what she said at noon.
But it sounded like a completely different word.
It was a threatening trust――filled with overflowing love.
"Bery is..."
No matter how crazy Krische was, no matter how abnormal she was, no matter what mistakes she made because of it, Bery was ready to say it\'s right in front of her.
That\'s how she intended to stay with Krische forever.
No matter what Krische did, no matter how she said it, no matter how wrong she was, always.
"... Terribly, scary."
She was sure Bery knew Krische felt that way.
So Bery surrendered all of her to Krische.
There was nothing but reckless affection and trust there――that\'s precisely why it\'s more scary than anything else.
"That\'s why I said it right. That I might look like this but I\'m persistent."
With a mischievous smile, she looked up at the sky.
Krische, entrusting herself to her, suddenly looked up at the sky as if being guided by it.
In the star-studded sky of black indigo, the arc-shaped moon was floating in the middle of the sky.
The moon and the starry sky. The wind was cold, but the touching skin was warmer than that.
The inside of her chest was throbbing, burning, squeezing――such a strange feeling.
But it\'s not unpleasant, but rather the exact opposite.
There was an elation that made her want to just roll over and run around, and a heat that made her heart leap with joy and happiness, but she couldn\'t quite put her finger on it.
"...But I hope that Krische-sama will love me, and will believe in the vague happiness that I tell Krische-sama. I also love Krische-sama and have decided to believe Krische-sama’s everything.……So, please don\'t hate me and always keep me by your side."
――Ahh
There was something that came to Krische’s mind with those words.
The name Krische means this crescent moon.
It was the one that was floating in the sky the night Krische’s mother proposed to Krische’s father.
I hoped that the happiness I felt that day would come to my daughter.
May she be able to see that beautiful moon with someone.
That was the name her mother had given her.
For a long time, she had no idea what it meant.
Krische did not feel anything when looking at the scenery, and did not think it was beautiful.
Mother\'s wish will never come true――she vaguely felt that way, but.
She looked next to her.
Red hair tangled in scattered snow.
Her long eyelashes glisten in the moonlight, and her big, gentle brown eyes surround her.
A slender, well-shaped bridge of the nose and soft, pale red lips.
As their gazes met, she felt her heart contracted, as if it were in agony.
"Kaa-sama... maybe."
"...?"
After all, it was not unpleasant, but filled with an irrepressible sense of happiness.
"...Maybe this is how she felt."
Krische brought her face close to Bery’s and put her lips to her lips.
Silver hair mingled with red hair, and the moonlight reflected off the snowy earth, glistening.
It\'s beautiful, she felt so, for no reason.
She didn\'t know why, she didn’t even know how, it just looked beautiful.
The gentle, somewhat happy narrowed eyes, the heat, the touch, everything.
It was happier than anything she had ever felt before, and without words, she savored the feeling.
Without getting tired of it, letting it show something that cannot be expressed in words.
Just like that, over and over again.
It was snowing in her hometown.
――It was a day when an arcing moon was floating in the night sky.