78 After Days: Stop Your Legs At The End Of The Year
It is the teachings of the Spirit Faith that the Spirit of Darkness, who presides over the moon at the end of the year, is accompanied by the symbol of the sleep of rest, and that the Spirit of Light, the symbol of the first moon to celebrate the New Year, begins the New Year by interacting with the Spirit of Darkness.
At the end of the year, most people will spend their holidays without even working. There is no reason to remove the Royal Castle security or anything like that. Still less personnel than usual, no usual noise, quiet.
On this day, I was not uncommonly away from the palace but in the royal castle. Rubbing off. Everyone looked strange when they looked at me, but I rubbed off with them just to make a light meeting.
"... Well, they think it's unusual for me to wander the royal castle on this day"
Whatever it is, it's the end of the year on top of not leaning on the Royal Castle. That said, it wasn't until last year that I didn't lean on the royal castle.
This year, Father withdrew and Yufi took over as queen. I do not think it is an exaggeration to say that it is truly a year of change. With this transformation, my position has changed dramatically.
Maybe that's why. I somehow wanted to visit the royal castle on this day. Because I thought if I was wandering around the royal castle today, it wouldn't bother me very much.
"... Ah, here"
Second, stop the leg. It was a staircase there. Nothing. It's a staircase with no weirdness whatsoever, but it's a staircase with a few memories for me.
"You failed to fly like musty with a sheet from here"
Whimpering small as he strokes the handrails of the stairs. That was when I was just a little girl.
Memories of a time when I still didn't make a difference with Al Kun and Ilia and I didn't have a relationship like we do now. Memories of borrowing sheets like musty and trying to glide through the sky using the Spirit Stone of the Wind. After that, naturally, Ilia caught me up in it, and my father pissed me off, too.
"... I miss you"
Still before I left the royal castle, before I pulled into a cage away from the palace, everything about the royal castle was my playground.
Yes, I visited the royal castle on this day because I wanted to miss the memories of the past.
If it's the number of memories, it's more memories in the outhouse. Besides, the memories at the Royal Castle were honest, more memories of hard feelings if you remember.
"... because Al was there."
The memories I had at the Royal Castle were also those I had with Al Kun at the same time. It was an unrecoverable past for me, with the pain of being able to poke my mistakes.
After Al-Kun left, he was often seen with strange eyes if he showed his face to the royal castle. I'm sure you just don't realize it, and I think you've been looking at me like that for a long time.
"... Al, you used to be a crybaby"
When we were still playing together, Al was a crybaby, somewhere inside, timid. But he was a sweet girl who followed me.
I've never resented you. I've thought I was jealous, but I've never thought I was jealous. Just loving, cute, old me just innocently adoring Al Kun.
"Ilia was more pointy back then than she is now."
Ilia had a harder attitude than she is now when we met. I'm not sure I'll have to ask him if he's settled down over the years, or if it's because the environment has changed.
Since that time, Ilia has often been attached to us as our go-to actor, and I can't believe how angry Ilia was at you for making a scene with Al.
He just said he misses it. The pain didn't go away when I remembered. Since Al Kun left the royal castle, if I remember Al Kun, all I regret is soliciting. Still, the pain was relieved to such an extent that I could immerse myself in the memories.
I ascend the stairs and slowly go through the royal castle. One, one, make sure you have a place to remember.
"... Ah, my room"
As I walked, I found my room before moving to the outhouse. I tried my hand on the door, but it was locked tightly and I couldn't get inside.
Looks like this room hasn't been used since I left. I crawl my fingers at a door that won't open and try to gently cling my forehead to the door.
"... the day you popped out of this room was the beginning of it all."
Yeah, I was definitely looking up at the sky that day. I can't believe I could fly through the sky. I got the hang of being who I am now, like a puzzle fitted in.
And I popped out of this room. This unopened door made me laugh somewhat bitterly because it seemed to show myself before that day when I could never go back.
"Anis? What are you doing"
"Mother?"
Well, if I could hear your voice and look at it, my mother would have been there. It was a lightweight dress today, and it was an off look.
I have three red hair wrapped around my braids that reach up to my waist, and the blue eyes that usually make me feel intelligent look strange or suspiciously at me.
"It's unusual for you to come here... what the hell?
This is a royal neighbourhood. Naturally, besides my room, there are also my mother's and father's rooms. So it's not surprising that you have a mother. Rather, it's unnatural for me to be here.
I tried to answer your mother's question, but I couldn't get the word out. Just staring at my mother, my mother frowned suspiciously.
"... anise?
Mother calling my name, it sounds like that voice blamed me again for being even malicious.
I don't care about such a mother's call, I approach her softly. And I held my mother tight.
"Yikes!? What is it? Anis, why are you suddenly holding me?
My mother seemed confused when suddenly it was unexpected that I hugged her.
Is it the scent of fragrance oil? The scent I feel from my mother makes me snort. Keep it up. I keep holding my mother to a point where she's not bitter.
"... anise?
Then my mother's voice turned into some worrying voice. I missed that voice sexually for some reason. Distracted memories are long before I can recover my memories from my previous life.
Even my mother was just a sweet mother before I started behaving in a ruinous way. Gentle, warm. Though irritating, the memory did breathe in me.
(... Oh, good. You still remember properly, I)
My mother's memory, which was just so sweet. Confirming that I do have that memory in me, I hold my mother in my arms with the thoughts that come up in my chest.
"... hehe, suddenly excuse me! Bye!"
"... what? Oh, come on, wait, Anis!
My mother kept me in her arms as confused, but I suddenly get embarrassed. I immediately release my mother and run out with my back slightly turned.
My mother, distracted by my sudden oddity, is still yelling at me to blame if she sees me rushing.
Try to escape my mother's wrath. I will run through the royal castle. No matter how many times I was pissed off, I never stopped. This is how I kept running when I ran away from the samurai and the knights and when I found what I wanted to do.
Run, run. Just run. I was out on the roof of the royal castle.
――――
Empty.
Naturally, if you go out on the roof, there's a sky in front of you.
I walk up to the edge of the roof looking up at the sky. Put your hand on the handrail and just keep looking up at the sky.
Today's sky was a clear blue sky. I could see the white clouds slowly changing to stretch out into the wind.
"-... ah"
The clouds are stretching uninterrupted. No matter how thin it gets, it's going to fog off the tail and disappear.
If I had such thoughts about the shape of the clouds, I would have an urge on my chest to scream. I couldn't tell exactly what the emotion was.
Reach out to the clear blue sky. Like stretching your back and trying to get you to the unreachable sky.
- Someone's hand overlapped my hand stretched out into that sky.
"... what are you doing, Anis"
"Ufi."
I kind of opened my eyes and looked at Uffi. That, I didn't notice any signs...?
As I look at Uffi in wonder, he exhales like Uffi was frightened and makes me hold the hand that was stretching out into my sky and lower it.
"My mother-in-law told me something was wrong with Anise, so I came looking for her."
"My mother?
"Yep.... I thought you found it, it was the sky up there. Unaware of me."
Was I looking at the sky so much as eating in? That's a bit of a failure.
When it was kind of awkward, Yufi put her strength into my gripping hand. It's a lover connection that entangles your fingers. I feel the heat coming up on my cheeks in that grip.
"- Where were you looking?
But Yufi's voice seemed anxious somewhere. I noticed that Yuffi's eyes were shaking anxiously.
"Uh... did I make you worry?
"Anyone will worry if things go wrong.... it was as if they were going to suck into the sky, the anise earlier"
"Sucked into the sky, or"
From Yufi's point of view, I felt like I was in danger or something. And maybe even to my mother. That's the same thing, all of a sudden he hugged me and ran away without saying anything.
... I have a sense that I was a little floating myself. That's also because the day at the end of this year was special.
"... somehow, I wanted to look back"
"Looking back?"
"Tell me about the life you've lived to this day.... I wonder how it would feel to be here in the royal castle now. Because memories of the Imperial Castle are now painful to remember."
"... anise"
He strengthened his power to hold my hand as Yufi called out worryingly.
The heat of the hand being gripped is transmitted to me. It was as if the heat would tell me I was here.
"I'm not out of pain. But it didn't get hard to remember. Even though I thought it was something I left behind, I thought it was my own. I could confirm that. I used to be so adorable to my mother."
"... even now, if it's properly sweet, you'll be adored. Mother-in-law."
"... in a workout sense?
"Normally it means being a parent and a child."
I wonder. Somehow, because I feel loved, but my mother is not honest. You're going to end up in the dark and be brought into the workout, aren't you?
When I was thinking about something my mother would definitely do if she found out, Yufi was packing a distance so that she could peek into my eyes. The heart beat just a little faster at a distance that seemed to take each other's exhales.
"... in the sky"
"Hmm?"
"What memories do you have in the sky?
Uffi inquires as he stares me straight in the eye. I suspect it was my illusion that the inquiry sounded true.
But because Yuffi's hand is going to hold my hand stronger than just now... I don't think that's probably my fault. I feel like they're worried about me being gone from here.
"... not here. Somewhere, the wizard said he could fly."
Yufi's eyebrows came to mind. I smile bitterly at Uffi for reacting to what I thought.
You didn't like the fact that I laughed bitterly, and Yufi gave me a light-headed thrust with a muffled face. A small pain spreads to my forehead.
As he groaned lightly at the pain, Uffi asked, lurking his voice.
"... in a previous life?
"Yeah. In the sky, because I admired and remembered"
Off his gaze from Uffi, he turns his attention to the sprawling blue sky. What color would the sky have been on that day when I remembered?
"After remembering my memories of my previous life, I became who I am now. Not here. Because I remember the view. So the sky really made me want to fly. From the day I thought I could fly the sky myself in this world with magic. But I also know that I wasn't gone until then."
"... Really? Isn't Annis suffering now?
"Of course it is."
Memories of previous life. What was given to me was some landscape, not this world. I remember living there. A bunch of useful tools not found in this world and the magic and longing for the sky to be intense.
My longing for the sky and magic is the same thing in the end. I want to realize a dream that's not supposed to come true, I want to fly magically free through the sky. It's on your own volition, too.
So I keep admiring magic. Previously, and always will. The next time I fulfill my dream of flying, I want to go for more magical possibilities.
"To be honest, there were some tough times. Especially when I had an affair with Al. I sometimes wondered why I remembered such a memory. But now... this is good."
"This is good, is it?
"Curses and blessings are all about paper. This must be a gift from me in my previous life. You're free to live in this world! It seems that way now."
I pursued magic so that it could be pushed and moved, first and foremost because I definitely remembered the memories of my previous life and was born into admiration.
Still, I was not given the miracle of magic. Did you lose it because I remembered it, or didn't you originally have talent? Though I don't know that.
The certainty is that I was given this memory of my previous life to find my way. I was able to run to my samurai. And I could make my dreams come true. So the memory that this curse and blessing is a piece of paper can be a blessing.
"With Uffi as queen and magic recognized, I thought I'd look back on this past year for the rest of my life. Make sure one at a time, because I thought I was happy."
Until now, it's just been a few days since the end of the year. I have nothing to think about. It was a day the same as usual, just moving towards the ideals I wanted to reach.
Because I could only breathe by moving on. But now it's a little slow. But I can breathe looking back. I was able to accept myself.
So - I thought it was happiness.
"I'm so happy right now."
"... Yes"
Yuffi's worried face finally turned into a smile. With my hand in his hand, Yufi pulls his arm and snuggles up with me.
I leave myself to Uffi without resisting either. We mouth each other just to touch each other and peek into each other's eyes.
"... thanks for this year. Nice to see you again next year, Uffi."
"Yes, Anis. May you feel happy again next year."
Again, the mouthfeel I touched was accompanied by sweet paralysis, which made me feel certain happiness.