Chapter 62: Day Off
Since everyone was drinking without a care yesterday, no one seems to have managed to wake up in time today, at least, judging by the snores in this room, I can assume that it will take a while for the residents of this so-called kingdom to wake up.
Just in case he needs me, I've left a request to join Miwen on his world, but since he hasn't answered yet, chances are he's still sleeping too.
He's usually among the first to get up, which is good since we need him to go back and forth, but even though it must be inconvenient to wake up so early every single time, he's never complained about it to any of us, which worries me a bit since he seems to prioritize us even at the expense of himself.
Sometimes I want to tell him "You're still young, so it's fine to kick back and take it easy you know?".
But at the same time, intruding on his way of life seems a bit wrong for me to do as I've not known him for long.
Since it also affects the other girls, who might not feel the same way I do, it could also be bad to point this out without more consideration...
Well... I really appreciate the way he gently cares for us, it's really comforting, and I think everyone under his care is grateful to him for that...
But it's precisely because of the way he treats me that I've grown attached and worried, so...
Ellie: "Haah... such conflicting feelings... I doubt they will take me anywhere..."
Beatrice: "Probably not... but then again, if you share them with me, I might just have a solution for you."
Oh, that's surprising... I didn't even notice she had gotten up, much less that she went downstairs...
It's rare for something to get past my senses like this, I gotta commend her for that.
Still, I've yet to fully adapt to such a low level, so let this be a reminder to myself so that I don't get hit in the back.
Ellie: "I don't recall you being up so early before..."
Beatrice: "What can I say? I sure had a blast yesterday... and though you are young now, you'll one day discover that wine does wonders for a woman. I feel like I could take on the whole world today."
A blast she says... even though she only did small talk and read her book while drinking...
And what's more, who is she trying to fool with that? I'm way older than her, to begin with. so I know that everything she spouted is completely made up.
The only reason she's up so soon is because she was the first to go to sleep since the wine seemed to make her sleepy.
Ellie: "Well, if it's such a small world like this one, even I could."
Beatrice: "Hahah, that's certainly true isn't it? But c'mon, let's go back to what really matters, tell big sis what's worrying you."
B-big sis? Whose? You're only big when it comes to...! Well! Everything. But I still should be the big sis!
Ellie: "Um... so, you see..."
In the end, I didn't really have the motivation to deny her, so I just went along and told her everything that I had going on in my mind.
At the very least, hearing someone else's opinion might give me an idea about what to do...
Beatrice: "I see... that's certainly complicated..."
...thanks big sis, you're truly a savior clad in white armor.
Beatrice: "But is there even a need for you to worry about this? I mean, you're happy about his care, he seems happy to care for us, so... Isn't it fine ?"
Ellie: "I... no... you must have noticed, right? He's always looking out for us, even with the most minor of things, it's almost like he made it his job. And I don't know if he enjoys it per se, it feels to me like this is born from an immense sense of responsibility, and that his satisfaction from it is only a result of the person he is... It feels wrong."
Yes... it feels wrong that someone would dedicate so much of themselves for others, that they would do everything for someone else, but not for themselves.
It feels wrong that he does not ask for a reward, it feels wrong that he thinks so deeply about us... It makes me feel...
Beatrice: "Do you feel bad? Do you wish he'd be more rewarded? That he'd ask for more from us? ...That he demanded we serve him?"
Ellie: "How do you- ...I see... It's what's expected, isn't it?"
Beatrice: "That's a side to it, yes, but I only know how you feel, because, well, I feel the same..."
Ah... Now that I think about it, among the three of us that were summoned that day, Beatrice could be said to be the one who has received the most generosity out of him, so, even more than me, she must be feeling...
Beatrice: "... I can't vouch for the conclusion I've reached, but... Isn't it wonderful?"
Ellie: "Huh?"
Wonderful? I don't think it is...
Beatrice: "I've lived away from people for most of my life, and I never really had an interest in them. I never tried to understand others, others never tried to understand me, and it all led to... well, you already know... This time though, I'm set on not repeating the same mistake, and do you know what I've noticed?"
Ellie: "What?"
Beatrice: "That his behavior was influencing me, that I wanted him to enjoy himself more and be happier, that I wanted to be less of a burden on him, and that I could better support and repay him... thoughts that never crossed my mind about anyone else, were born thanks to the way he treats others... and these thoughts, don't they resemble the very same care he's always showing us?
Ellie: "..."
Beatrice: "I'm sure I wasn't like this before, it's all his fault, he created this frustration in me about how unfair he was being, treating me so kindly and only asking the minimal in return...and that frustration ended up creating a desire in me for him to live better... In the end, his kindness helped me become more like him..."
Even though I was supposed to be the one opening my heart up to her, our roles suddenly got reversed.
But I don't mind it. Surprisingly, I don't mind it at all.
If anything, I'm actually happy that she's sharing this with me... I'm not really the most sociable out there, so it's rare for someone to form a strong enough bond with me and talk like this...
Beatrice: "I think everyone feels the same way you do about him, Ellie. But that's actually good..."
Ellie: "...I see your point, but... I think it's only more of a reason. I mean, if after everything, he even helps us be better... it's inhumane... he's not a divine being, he should enjoy himself more... he should not have to worry about such things..."
In the end, I can't come to terms with it.
I can't deny that what he does for us is good, and Beatrice only made me think about it as even more of an exceptional act, but...
Ellie: "I want him to value himself more, prioritize himself above others... that's what's expected from a human..."
Beatrice: "Conquering and leading are actually quite similar you know? In both cases, you make someone submit to your will, changing how they act so that it best suits your goal. The only difference is that one is directed at an enemy, and the other at an ally. In any case, sometimes you can conquer an enemy, turn them into an ally, and lead them..."
Strange, did she change topics?
Perhaps she gave up on convincing me to let go... I guess I was being a bit of a downer about it, so that's comprehensive...
Ellie: "I've never thought about that, but I guess you're right...?"
She broke down both concepts tremendously, and when simplifying things, they do tend to start looking similar...
Still, I couldn't find many problems with her logic, since she even made sure to point out the obvious difference herself.
Beatrice: "Then, what do you think makes someone capable of conquering or leading someone else ?"
Ellie: "Hm... I guess it would be might right? Though I'm not exactly talking about power, it could be through strength, sure, but things such as intellect or trickness could also do the job."
There's a bunch more you could use to conquer or lead someone. Numbers always do a good job at it, after all, the sheer pressure of being in the minority against another group might make you follow their leadership.
Beatrice: "Those are certainly tools for the job, but, more importantly than that, I think one needs pride to be able to submit others to their will, and in that regard, no one is more prideful than Miwen."
Ellie: "Hm... I guess s-"
Eh?
What did she mean by that?
Ellie: "I don't think I've seen Miwen act pridefully though? If anything he's quite-"
Beatrice: "That's because men are masters in converting sins into morals and virtues, they can't live a sinless life, so they live their days fighting off their sins. Some of them, are even capable of transforming and using them in an unexpected force of good."
Ellie: "Sorry Bea, I don't think I'm following..."
I neither know enough about men nor do I have the confidence to make a broad statement like that...
And even if I accept it, I don't see how it applies to Miwen...
Wait, we're still talking about him?
If so, was that conquering and leading stuff also about...
Beatrice: "To me, that boy doesn't really see us as equals to him. He must have a lot of pride deep down, maybe more than anyone else... but he didn't allow his sin to warp his heart. While his pride made him think he stands above us, he used that to fuel a sense of responsibility over the ones he sees beneath him..."
Ellie: "So you think that's why he goes so far? Because he's prideful about it?"
Beatrice: "It's the only way I'm capable of understanding his selflessness, he must get satisfaction from it in order to calm his sins, otherwise, he simply wouldn't be human."
That's... such a dark way to view matters...
I can't really say that to her face, but, it's almost like she's incapable of taking the good she received as just that, good.
Beatrice: "Ah, but don't misunderstand me, I think that's incredible of him... For the way he acts, the amount of fuel that pride must be providing should be immense, which makes me wonder, what would happen if he lets it go for a second? I'm sure you have also had such thoughts, right? This feeling that he might reach somewhere never before seen..."
...Much as I don't like her way of thinking, I've gotta hand it to her that she sure has a good theory about it all.
I never told her about the potential I see in him, so she must've reached the same conclusion by herself, and her line of thought sure provides a good explanation for everything.
Ellie: "Hm... You sure gave me a lot to think about, but maybe you should tone down on the wine next time, it seems to have done a number on you..."
I had yet to see her being so talkative, and while it's funny to blame it on the alcohol, I feel it's the result of our shared feelings, even if we perceive them differently, they are still capable of making us relate with each other.
Beatrice: "Haha... I wanted to get rid of your thoughts, but ended up giving you way more to think about huh? Sorry about that..."
Ellie: "...It's not like that, I'm actually grateful, big sis."
Beatrice: "E-eh? Aren't you just the cutest thing ever?"
This woman certainly has a thing for hugging others...
If Miwen was as sinful as she thinks, I'm certain he would have lost himself in lust getting pressed by these huge things.
Before I could get away from her though, I was teleported to a completely different location...
Miwern: "Uh... Did I interrupt something? Sorry?"
Ellie: "Nghn...no..."
Frankly, I felt so embarrassed I thought I might die. There was nothing I wanted more than to simply disappear.
Still... it was quite late, and Anna had yet to come too.
I noticed she only got home way after I did, so they must've had so much fun yesterday that Miwen didn't manage to wake up in time today.
Deep in my heart, this made me feel a bit relieved...
---This section is written in Anna's POV---
Ahhh... I can't believe that guy.
Seriously... What does he think I'm made of?
It was hard as fuck to satisfy him and every time I thought he was done, his little monster would just stand up again for more...
And he even happily took all of my firsts as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
What do you mean by punishment? Shouldn't you be glad I'm giving you my virginity?
Idiot...
My ass is still sore and just sitting on the couch gives me a hard time...
Still... I had never seen Miwen act like that before... I couldn't go against him at all...
That thing he's carrying was also incredible... my body feels a bit weird now that it's no longer inside me...
Hnm... I kinda wanna another go, but... It's gonna be hard to come up with an excuse now...
Fuck, I can't believe I'm like this after a single time, how does the other two handle it like nothing...
Claire: "Hm? Is anything wrong? You seem awfully absent-minded..."
Anna: "Ah, yeah, sorry... I was just thinking that you're pretty strong..."
Claire: "That much is obvious isn't it? I'm the strongest after all."
Mia: "Pft... sure."
Claire: "What? Something to say?"
The way Claire responds to me is very different than what she does if Miwen had said the same thing.
To me, she acts like this know-it-all, untouchably powerful girl, while if he had complimented her, I feel like she'd try to act the same, only to stumble over her words, showing a very cute side.
But I guess that's to be expected given their relationship... praise from him must mean a lot more for her...
I thought that aside from me, everyone would be their usual self, but I ended up being pretty wrong...
For starters, Ellie was way more assertive today than I've ever seen her.
When I got here, Miwen proposed we had breakfast, even though it was a bit late. but Ellie demanded him to let her take care of things with Licia today.
Miwen said it would be better if the three of them worked together, but she was so uncharacteristically insistent, that Miwen ended up relenting.
Speaking of which, he's also acting strangely...
I thought for sure he'd have a change in his behavior towards me, either more brazen and jokey like he is with Mia, or more devoted and amicable like with Licia.
Yet, though the distance between us seems to have been reduced a bit, he's still treating me like always...
Maybe we just didn't spend enough time together today for him to become conscious about it...
Well, as soon as he gets back to wherever he went today I'll be sure to fix that.
For now, this movie seems really good, and staying still is a great way to hide what transpired yesterday...
There's no point keeping it a secret from Claire and Licia since he asked them permission before doing me, but it's a bit embarrassing for me, so I don't really want the others to find out.
Licia: "Anna, you drank a lot yesterday right? I think I found the last can, do you want it?"
... Wait... isn't that the tactic she used against Claire? Is she trying to steal his harem?
I always thought she was a caring girl, but it seems like she's actually very shameless...
Should I show her where I stand? I'm not about to let a playboy like her have its way with me...
But then a thought suddenly ran through my head.
She's able to keep him company every day and is even greedy enough to go after Claire... it couldn't be that she feels unsatisfied, could it?
But if so...is her sex drive bigger than Miwen's?
No way... I don't stand a chance against her...
Anna: "i... I'm a devoted girl, so y-you can have it!"
I turned away from her and did my best to resist whatever temptations she might've stored as her plan B.
Licia: "Hmm... Then, do you want it, Ellie?"
Ellie: "Um... I think I can handle half a can..."
Licia: "Sure, let's drink together then!"
The way she sits beside Ellie naturally after that, as if she had already caught her prey in a trap...
I can't believe it. Even Miwen didn't make a move on Ellie.
She's the apex predator.
If he doesn't come back soon everyone in this house might end up falling prey to her lustful schemes...
---This section is written in Beatrice's POV---
Hm... I just don't get it...
Back in my world, there wasn't anything like this... this so-called computer of his...
He said I could find anything I wanted in here, but most magic discussions are really superficial level, and even the witches in here don't seem to know a lot.
There sure is a lot to look through, but at the same time, it feels like most of it is just useless or is repeated everywhere.
I mean, I've found three different guys, talking about the same thing, and they had the same to say, word per word, it felt like a deja vu. The only thing that changed was the scenario and the face.
The little things that keep popping up are also very distracting...
Miwen was right when he said that it's a bit hard to do research on this "video website".
But I know it's possible since he shows things from here every so often to answer our inquiries...
It's almost like he knows the quality of the content before even watching, I wonder how he does that...
Well, guess this one is a bust for now, but he left me a lot of options to search...
Let's see, for discussions he recommends this forum, and for research this encyclopedia thing?
Hm... I don't think I'll have too much time to read since I've spent a while on the videos thing... so let's try the discussion board I guess...
I went and searched the topics on the website Miwen recommended to me, and I gotta say, I'm getting pretty good with the tools of this world.
Once again, there were a lot of things to look at, but this time, it seemed like it wasn't as superficial, and people were sharing more in-depth theories...
The only problem with it was that once again, it was mostly text, so maybe I should've gone for the encyclopedia...
I read a lot in there, and though there was more substance than last time, most of what I found was a beginner to intermediate level...
Maybe I was expecting too much from a world where the highest level is only around 80...
Still, I wanted to find at least one thing to satiate my curiosity, so I thought about visiting the places Miwen had already visited in the past.
I saw a way to look at his search history, so I thought this would be the fastest way to find something good.
But uh...
When I did that... I found some new things in the places I had already gone to... but then I found a new site that wasn't on my list.
Miwen had gone to it a bunch of times, so I thought it must contain pretty insightful material.
Instead, what I found there was...
Ellie: "Hey Bea, Miwen came back and asked me to... t-to..."
I couldn't believe how unlucky this girl was, I mean, it's the second time today she managed to get the worst possible timing.
Beatrice: "Miwen's a sinful man!"
Ellie: "Y-you're the sinful man!"
And like that, all the respect she had for me vanished in a second.
At least it was already nighttime, so I had hopes that she would forget about all of this tomorrow morning.