My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

Yanshu spat through the curtain, "How dare a scum like you try to negotiate with us?"

Hmph, this dead pervert had committed so many unforgivable evil deeds, and now he even tried to seduce the emperor???

The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. She said again, "Beat him up!"

"..."

The guards hesitated slightly upon hearing this.

So they quietly glanced at the emperor, and seeing that he didn't say anything, they immediately complied and started punching the man.

— Heh, needless to say, they had long wanted to beat up this scum who trafficked children!

Hu Yichun wasn't particularly strong, but the guards were all experts who could kill a bull with one punch. Now filled with righteous indignation, it only took a few blows to beat him black and blue, with blood flowing from his nose and mouth.

Yuwen Lan glanced at him, then immediately looked at Yanshu.

Sure enough, he saw her body sway, as if her legs had gone weak and she was about to fall.

"..."

He immediately stepped forward and held her in his arms, but heard her cursing angrily in her mind, [Damn it, this scum actually dares to bleed!!! Is he deliberately trying to piss me off!!!]

Yuwen Lan, "..."

He could only quickly order the guards, "That's enough."

The guards then stopped.

Hu Yichun immediately fell to the ground, constantly moaning in pain.

The commotion naturally attracted many onlookers from the shop.

Seeing everyone's confused expressions, Yuwen Lan coughed and said, "This man stole money and frightened my wife. Quickly send him to the Capital Official to report the case."

The guards complied and immediately dragged Hu Yichun out by the neck.

He then directly picked up Yanshu by the waist and walked out as well.

As they walked, he asked with concern, "How are you feeling?"

Yanshu was still a bit dizzy and could only say weakly, "Your wife is too useless."

Damn it, why did she faint at the sight of blood again!!! She should have beaten him up more!!!

Hmph, just for daring to curse at her earlier, beating him until he couldn't take care of himself would have been too light!!!

Yuwen Lan, "..."

He was filled with mixed emotions, trying hard to suppress his laughter as he said, "Let's keep him alive for a thousand cuts and dismemberment."

By the time he finished speaking, they had arrived at the carriage. The coachman hurriedly lifted the curtain, and he carried her into the carriage, never having put her down from start to finish.

And so, in full view of everyone, Hu Yichun was taken to the Capital Official.

Normally, a theft case would be simple to handle, but seeing that it was the imperial guards who brought the man in, the Capital Official didn't dare to be negligent and immediately interrogated him.

Unexpectedly, this investigation revealed that this man really had some secrets.

...

Jifu Tower was already some distance from the palace, so by the time they returned to Ganlu Palace, it was already quite late.

Moreover, Yanshu had fainted again, so they couldn't attend to anything else and went to bed early.

However, when she woke up early the next morning, she finally heard some good news.

— It was said that the Capital Official had found Hu Yichun's residence overnight and, after a search, found several property deeds related to him.

Following this lead, the officials found two more houses hidden in the suburbs, from which they rescued six boys, all of whom were children who had gone missing previously.

According to the confessions of his underlings, Hu Yichun had also been involved in human trafficking in Jiangnan, Xiangxiang, and other places, all involving the kidnapping of good-looking young children who were then trained before being sold to local wealthy merchants or officials.

Given the gravity of the matter, the Capital Official immediately reported to the court, transferring the case to the Ministry of Justice. The emperor also ordered the Imperial Censorate to intervene, treating it as a major case to be strictly handled.

As a result, the morning court session was very busy.

At this time, Yanshu, who was leisurely having breakfast, was eating while conversing with the system, [Next is that scum Chai Weizhong, have they found anything on him?]

The system replied, [Not yet. You should know that Chai Weizhong is very cautious. Every time he went to see Hu Yichun, he was in disguise. So far, the Imperial Censorate hasn't found any clues about his connection with Hu Yichun.]

[Moreover, ever since the emperor said yesterday that there would be a strict investigation, he immediately dismissed the male concubines in his household and sent people to bring his original wife, Lady Nie, to the capital, intending to cover things up. Lady Nie is already on her way these days.]

Yanshu, [??? This scum is still using his wife at this time? He's really not a decent human being!!!]

System, [If he wasn't a thousand-year-old fox, how could he play such tricks? In short, these perverts are each more cunning than the last.]

That's true.

Yanshu angrily bit into a golden thread pastry, thinking to herself that she couldn't let this scum get away scot-free.

She had to come up with a plan.

That afternoon, the Carefree Young Master's new book suddenly hit the market.

Although it was sudden, it didn't hinder the book's popularity. In just one afternoon, over a thousand copies were sold.

By dinnertime, people who had read the book were already discussing the plot—

Recently, due to the case of missing boys, the topics of "cut sleeve" and "boy love" were very sensitive. Unexpectedly, one of the main characters in this story was a "cut sleeve".

Combined with past experience, people immediately realized that this story was likely related to the recent case, and they began to speculate about the identity of the scumbag in the story.

— Could it be that there really was an official in the court who was into "cut sleeves"?

And he even kept male concubines at home?

Tsk tsk tsk, such an outrageous person, who could it be?

More and more people joined the discussion, and with the prosperous trade between north, south, east, and west at this time, the topic quickly spread from the capital to all directions.

...

After three days on the road, they were about to reach the capital the next day.

That night, Chai Weizhong's original wife, Lady Nie, was resting at an inn.

It was the season when many travelers were coming and going, so the inn was bustling with activity.

After dinner, the maid Bai Guo brought hot water from outside into the room to serve Lady Nie for washing up.

Lady Nie asked, "Why did you take so long?"

— She was gentle by nature, and there was no blame in her words. Bai Guo smiled and said, "The water wasn't boiled earlier, and there was a storyteller next door. I saw many people listening, so I stayed to listen for a while."

Lady Nie also smiled and said, "What story was so captivating?"

Bai Guo's eyes lit up, and she immediately told her, "My lady, did you know that there are actually people in this world who don't like women, but instead like men?"

Lady Nie, being in her forties, had more experience and said, "That's called the passion of the cut sleeve, I've heard about it before."

But Bai Guo continued, "However, even though this person clearly likes men, he still marries a wife and has children. After marriage, he lets his wife take care of his parents and children in their hometown, while he enjoys himself elsewhere. Isn't that too much! You don't know, this person even keeps several male concubines in his mansion!"

Lady Nie was startled, "What? Male concubines?"

Bai Guo nodded and said, "That person, in order to conveniently do those outrageous things with men, actually had his male lovers disguise themselves as concubines to live in the mansion to cover things up."

Perhaps it was too bizarre, but hearing this, Lady Nie also became curious and asked, "Then, didn't his wife find out?"

Bai Guo said, "It's said that the wife of that family is very virtuous, always taking care of the parents-in-law and children in their hometown. This man is away from home for years, and although he has already set up a mansion, he never asks his wife to come and live with him. He only returns to his hometown during festivals to visit, but even then, he leaves hurriedly after a brief visit... The relationship between this couple seems respectful on the surface, but is actually as cold as ice."

Hearing these words, Lady Nie's heart trembled.

— Wasn't she herself in the same situation?

Since marrying into the Chai family, the number of times she had been intimate with her husband could be counted on one hand. Especially after giving birth to their two children years ago, there had been nothing at all...

In the past, her parents-in-law had suggested that her husband bring her to the capital, but he always refused, citing that women were troublesome. Yet he had successively taken concubines in the capital...

After feeling desolate for a while, Lady Nie suddenly realized that the wife in this story was so similar to herself.

Just as she was wondering about this, she heard Bai Guo continue, "This man always leaves home in a hurry, using his career as an excuse, but in reality, he's eager to go back and fool around with those male concubines. Oh yes, it seems it's not just the ones in his mansion, but also male lovers outside... Tsk tsk, it's really disgusting."

As she spoke, she helped Lady Nie take off her shoes and socks and began washing her feet.

Lady Nie, however, was already immersed in the story and frowned as she asked, "Then later, did that wife find out?"

While washing her feet, Bai Guo nodded and said, "It was discovered. One time this madam was in a hurry to go to the capital to see a doctor for her in-laws, and didn't have time to inform that man. As a result, it was discovered when she arrived at the mansion."

Lady Nie quickly asked, "How was it discovered?"

Bai Guo said, "After all, those concubines were men. They had large builds and voices unlike ordinary women, and they never used menstrual pads or anything like that... Most importantly, the three of them had been in the household for several years but none of them had been able to bear children, so naturally there was a problem."

Lady Nie's brows suddenly furrowed.

Large builds...

Voices unlike ordinary women?

She remembered one year when she personally made winter clothes for her husband and had the housekeeper send them to the capital. When the housekeeper returned, she told her that her husband's concubines all had large builds and deep voices...

The housekeeper had even wondered why the master liked women who resembled men.

Most importantly, in all these years the Chai family only had the two children she herself had given birth to. Those concubines had been in the capital for many years but had never given birth to anything...

Could it be...

Lady Nie grew increasingly suspicious and hurriedly asked, "What else did the storyteller say?"

Bai Guo thought for a moment and said, "The storyteller also said that besides consorting with men, this person later partnered with others to kidnap children from other families and sell them to people who also liked men for their pleasure... Oh my, it was just too wicked! What a waste of such a good wife! Later when the authorities investigated him, he got scared and dismissed the male concubines from his household and brought his wife to the city..."

What?

Lady Nie was severely shocked.

On her journey to the capital, she had occasionally seen officials searching for human traffickers, and only learned upon inquiry that there had been a case of kidnapping young boys in the capital a few days ago...

And this time Chai Weizhong had suddenly summoned her to the capital.

Could things really be such a coincidence?

Three days later, when Yanshu got out of bed, she heard a message from the system: [Chai Weizhong has been arrested.]

Hmm?

Her eyes lit up and she immediately said, [How was he arrested? Could it be that Hu Yichun confessed?]

The system replied, [That's right. For one, Hu Yichun couldn't withstand torture and finally confessed. Additionally, the male concubines who left his household were also caught and admitted his association with Hu Yichun.]

Yanshu's eyes brightened, [The authorities were actually able to find his male concubines? Not bad, when did they become so competent?]

The system said, [Actually, the emperor had been secretly having people monitor the Chai household, and they caught the concubines as soon as he dismissed them.]

Yanshu: [!!! The emperor is impressive!]

But after praising him, she felt something was off.

[...Wait, why would the emperor have people monitor the Chai household? How did he notice something was wrong with Chai Weizhong?]

The system: [...I'm sorry, but there seems to be some interference signal around the emperor. This system has been unable to detect his psychological activities.]

Yanshu: [???]

How could there be such a thing?

Tsk, could it be that because he's the emperor with the protection of the true dragon, he's able to block the system?

Thinking about it, it seemed possible. After all, the system still hadn't told her how the emperor was "unable" back then.

But after thinking about it herself, she felt it must have been the story she wrote before that made the emperor suspicious—

After all, there weren't many officials of his rank in the court who kept their wives in their hometowns.

The emperor would know it was him with just a little investigation.

Just then, she heard the system say, [Chai's wife deserves some credit in this matter.]

Yanshu immediately asked, [How so?]

The system: [After those two identified Chai Weizhong, the Imperial Censorate and Ministry of Justice searched the Chai residence. At this time, Chai's wife Lady Nie voluntarily submitted an account book of Chai Weizhong's to the court. The accounts in the book were sufficient to prove that Chai Weizhong had gifted several thousand taels of silver to Hu Yichun for purchasing property in the capital, and that after Hu Yichun profited from trafficking boys, he had shared the spoils with him.]

Yanshu's eyes lit up upon hearing this, [Well done, Lady Chai!]

The system: [It was mainly because she was enlightened after reading your story.]

Yanshu smiled with satisfaction, [It's good that she's enlightened. With such an act of placing righteousness above family loyalty, the court should provide her with care and not let her be implicated by that scum.]

—She sincerely hoped this sister could stand up.

Although fate was unfair at first, causing her to waste over twenty years of her youth with that scum, it's never too late to wake up.

She hoped she could recover, and perhaps even achieve something in her career as in the story, living her own life.

After Chai Weizhong's arrest, the case progressed much faster.

Within two days, through the investigation of the Imperial Censorate and Ministry of Justice, they had basically uncovered the wealthy merchants and officials in various places who had dealings with Hu Yichun, the main culprit in the boy trafficking case. They also rescued dozens of victimized children.

Those who had harmed children were shown no leniency, and all were arrested.

After the case was solved, Hu Yichun was sentenced to death by slow slicing, while the other accomplice Chai Weizhong was also sentenced to beheading.

Considering that his wife had been separated from him for years and was unaware of his evil deeds, especially since she voluntarily reported him after discovering clues, the emperor specially granted mercy, exempting her from being implicated in Chai Weizhong's crimes.

As for the other involved parties, they were all punished according to their crimes, which could be said to be deeply satisfying to the people.

For a time, besides cursing the evil deeds of scum like Hu and Chai, the common people in the streets and alleys started a new rumor—

It was said that the person who first caught Hu Yichun this time was a young woman.

Although there was no advance leak from the Carefree Young Master's story this time, this topic similarly triggered people's curiosity.

—According to the recollections of diners present at Jifu Tower that day, that night, the lady was in flowing gauze robes, with a graceful figure. Although her face couldn't be seen clearly due to the veil, one could imagine she must have been as beautiful as a celestial maiden. When she discovered this person stealing, she fearlessly called for servants to capture him, showing remarkable courage.

In no time, everyone was curious about who this extraordinary lady could be.

...

One afternoon, Hanlin Academy Scholar Zou Mozhong finished drafting an imperial edict in the imperial study. Taking advantage of the empty room, he said to the emperor, "Does Your Majesty know that recently there's a rumor among the people that the first person to discover the main culprit Hu Yichun was actually a young lady!"

"It's said that she's intelligent and quick-witted, with remarkable courage. She merely brushed shoulders with Hu Yichun and saw through his malicious intentions and evil deeds. She's truly an extraordinary woman."

Yuwen Lan made a sound of acknowledgment, "A young lady?"

Is he talking about Yanshu?

Zou Mozhong nodded, "Indeed. The people call her a heroine among women. Now, regardless of age, everyone is curious about this lady's identity... I believe that if the Carefree Young Master could write a story about this now, it would surely be a hit."

Ahem, mainly he was also curious about who this extraordinary lady could be.

He thought that the Carefree Young Master had always been prophetic, and might know some clues.

So he wanted him to write it quickly, to satisfy everyone's curiosity!

Yuwen Lan: "???"

He was clearly present that day too, so why did these rumors automatically ignore his presence?

And why were these people curious about his beloved consort for no reason?

He casually replied, "I haven't had any news of her these past few days either. I'll have someone inquire later."

Scholar Zou saw that the emperor wasn't very interested, so he could only agree and withdraw from the hall.

Left alone, Yuwen Lan sat for a while, unable to focus on the memorials. He then got up and left the hall, going to Ganlu Palace.

When he arrived, he saw Yanshu writing a story, her brows slightly furrowed, looking very serious.

She was so focused that she almost didn't notice him entering the hall.

Hearing the announcement, she hurriedly put down her brush and stood up to curtsy, "This humble consort greets Your Majesty."

Yuwen Lan made a sound of acknowledgment and sat down on the warm couch, asking, "What story are you writing today?"

Yanshu raised an eyebrow and smiled, quite proudly saying, "This humble consort is writing about an extraordinary lady today."

Hmm?

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "What makes her extraordinary?"

—Could it be that she also knew about the rumors outside and was going to write her own story?

He saw her clear her throat and say, "This lady can be said to possess both beauty and wisdom, and is also proficient in literature and martial arts. More notably, she has a heart full of righteousness, is not afraid of evil and treacherous wolves, and bravely fights against evil forces."

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Both beauty and wisdom?

And proficient in literature and martial arts?

A heart full of righteousness, not afraid of evil and treacherous wolves?

Alright, with such lavish praise, he was certain she was writing about herself.

So he pretended not to have realized and nodded slightly, saying, "Indeed, she seems to be a rare extraordinary lady. I wonder what her story is?"

Then she continued, "This young lady hides in her boudoir during the day, but at night she roams the martial world with her sword, always ready to right any wrongs she encounters.

"For instance, one night she saw a gambler trying to sell his wife to pay off debts. She immediately gave the gambler a sound thrashing and helped his wife escape to freedom."

"Another time, she caught some ruffians harassing a respectable woman. She broke their arms and legs, and even cut off their 'precious parts' to ensure they'd never offend again."

"And once, she came across bandits robbing poor villagers. In her fury, she single-handedly leveled the entire mountain where they were based and distributed all the stolen money to the villagers who had suffered at the bandits' hands... In short, no evildoer was a match for her."

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Beating up gamblers and defeating bandits was one thing, but cutting off 'precious parts'? What was that about?

Why was she so... enthusiastic about... this particular act?

And to do it to a whole group of men???

How could a young lady be so...

Before he could find the right word, she continued, "This young lady did many good deeds for the country and its people, earning countless praises and gratitude. Finally, one day she moved the gods, who gave her an immortality pill. After taking it, she became a celestial being."

Yuwen Lan: "???"

What kind of direction was this taking?

He couldn't help but ask, "Why did she suddenly become an immortal?"

Was the mortal world unable to contain her anymore?

Were her aspirations truly so lofty???

Yanshu replied with a proud face, "Because she was simply too excellent, without any flaws. So she had to ascend to immortality. After all, as a celestial being, she could maintain her youth and beauty forever."

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Well, she certainly didn't hold back in imagining her own perfection.

But after pondering for a moment, he suddenly realized something—

There was no trace of himself in her story.

Yuwen Lan was silent for a moment, then asked, "Did this young lady ascend to immortality alone because she never met a suitable man? Why didn't you give her a companion to share her life with?"

Yanshu: "..."

She had initially wanted to say that men would only slow down her sword-drawing speed.

Wasn't it enough for a female warrior to live freely on her own? What was the need for a man?

But considering that the emperor was also a man, she feared hurting his pride. So she said, "Because... this young lady was so focused on doing great deeds, she accidentally forgot about it."

Forgot?

Yuwen Lan, who had heard her entire thought process, wanted to scoff coldly.

She had indeed forgotten about him.

He pulled her close, bringing his face—so handsome it was flawless—near her almond-shaped eyes, and said in a low voice, "There are still many things worth cherishing in the mortal world. Why rush to become an immortal on your own?"

His deep, magnetic voice was close to her ear, making Yanshu feel a bit dizzy. She stammered, "What... what else is there to cherish..."

As she spoke, she couldn't help but stare at his lips.

They were thin and quite tempting.

Just as she finished speaking, the man before her suddenly darkened his gaze.

Then, he let her taste what she had been wanting to taste.

Mmm, it was indeed nice.

Yuwen Lan heard her thoughts and chuckled softly.

He thought it was nice too.

— Over the past few days, most of the poison had been purged from his system, and after taking several doses of medicine, he seemed to be gradually returning to his former self.

However, he had been busy dealing with the case of missing children for the past few days. After solving the case, he was occupied with revising laws and rectifying court conduct, leaving him no time to think about much else.

Now that he had some leisure time, with a fragrant beauty in his arms, he finally got into the mood.

...

Yanshu felt the same way.

It seemed like it had been a long time since the emperor had been so...

With her.

While kissing, she had enough presence of mind to think—

He had been taking medicine for over half a month now, right?

She wondered what state he was in now?

Not long after, her side accidentally brushed against something, and she suddenly froze.

What, what was that?

Meanwhile, Yuwen Lan felt greatly reassured.

He had succeeded.

For the first time in who knows how long, he was like this.

He had succeeded!!!

His heart was filled with indescribable joy, and for a moment he didn't care what time it was. He only wanted to continue verifying.

However, at that moment, a voice came from outside the door, "Imperial Consort Yi, the Empress Dowager requests your presence..."

The two of them paused, both coming back to their senses.