I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

"Y-yes..."

We stood in a partially destroyed football stadium in Busan.

The outer walls had collapsed due to monsters, leaving behind a maze of steel frames and debris. After a long time away, I returned to this place.

The first time I visited, I was with someone's father. The second time, I was with his son.

"Wow."

Kim Si-eun looked around in wonder like a crane. It was his first time in such a large stadium.

"It's so big! Do those stands fill up on game days?"

"It's rare for them to be completely full, but on average, around ten thousand people would come."

Despite it being more than 500 years since I'd last been here, finding our destination was surprisingly easy.

On one side of the stands, there was a large crystal protruding like something from the depths of a cave. It was as tall as I was.

Only I could see this marker.

I personally called it a "tombstone" or "gravestone." I could have called it "that thing" since no one but me could perceive it.

Even Kim Si-eun, standing next to me, couldn't recognize the crystal looming right in front of him.

"Take my hand."

"O-Okay."

"I can freely enter the dreams of those I've sealed, but you can't. You can only connect to the dream while holding my hand, so don't let go, no matter what. Got it?"

"Understood, hyung."

Kim Si-eun cautiously took my hand, and I nodded.

"Close your eyes and prepare yourself."

"......"

"Here we go."

I pressed my left palm against the surface of the crystal.

My hand slipped through easily, and the surface that shimmered like a mirror seemed to be made of water, accepting me without resistance.

I stepped forward.

After taking about six steps, everything rapidly turned pitch black. It felt like a mischievous child had smeared black paint everywhere, or as if we had descended into the deepest abyss.

"......"

While this sensation was familiar to me, it was not for Kim Si-eun. His fear and tension transmitted clearly through his grip on my hand.

Moments later.

-Aaaahhhh!

Suddenly, a deafening cheer erupted around us.

"Eek!"

Startled, Kim Si-eun opened his eyes and instinctively looked around, his eyes widening even more than when he heard the cheer.

"Wh-What's going on?"

The cheering was from the supporters.

The previously desolate stadium was now packed with home and away fans.

Where ruins once stood, flags, slogans, balloons, and, above all, people had filled the stands instead.

"Attack! Attack! Hurry up!"

Someone who looked like a coach shouted from the sidelines.

Players dashed wildly across the green field. With every dribble, incredible pass, and corner kick preparation, the stands roared with earth-shaking cheers.

-Oh! Our club! Our eternal home!

The kind of passion that could only be experienced five years ago by others, and over 500 years ago in my own timeline, before the world fell apart.

-My love! My home!

-Today, we will win again!

The club fans waved their smartphones and jumped on the spot. Massive flags fluttered relentlessly at the front of the stands.

Kim Si-eun stood frozen under the red, evening-like waves of flags.

"......"

"Look over there, Si-eun."

I pointed at the field, and Kim Si-eun's gaze followed my finger.

A football bounced off the turf. One of the players deftly trapped it with his chest and sprinted forward.

Kim Joo-chul.

-Ooooh!

The crowd gasped.

Kim Joo-chul, who had been buried under the fog of time in my memory, appeared on the field, looking younger and fitter.

His left foot controlled the ball with ease as he charged ahead.

-Go! Hurry! Counterattack!

-There's no one there!

-Kim Joo-chul!

Although he was a defender, Kim Joo-chul boldly crossed the half-line, with teammates and opponents alike desperately chasing him.

He lobbed the ball with his left foot, and a teammate just barely managed to head it into the net.

-Waaaahhhh!

Kim Joo-chul earned an assist.

His performance didn't end there. In a subsequent corner kick, he leaped and headed the ball directly into the net.

The scoreboard changed from 1-1 to 2-1, a comeback goal.

A defender had managed 1 assist and 1 goal in no time.

-Goaaaal! Goal! Goal!

-Kim Joo-chul! Kim Joo-chul! Kim Joo-chul!

At that moment, Kim Joo-chul skated lightly toward the stands and jumped over the barrier to kiss a woman in the audience.

The woman held a child in her arms, and Kim Joo-chul kissed the top of the child's head as well. The stadium scoreboard captured the scene perfectly.

-Who's that?

-That's Kim Joo-chul's wife!

-Ooooh! Kim Joo-chul! Kim Joo-chul!

Though the excessive celebration earned him a warning from the referee, the players, the crowd, and even Kim Joo-chul himself didn't care.

Next to me, Kim Si-eun murmured softly.

"Mom...?"

He seemed to recognize the woman who kissed the football player. He couldn't close his gaping mouth.

"No way. So that really..."

But Kim Si-eun's muttering couldn't continue as the supporters' song drowned it out.

-Kim Joo-chul! Our iron wall!

-No one can break through Kim Joo-chul!

-Kim Joo-chul! Our iron wall!

Kim Joo-chul, hugging the child, looked incredibly happy. The child in his arms beamed as well.

A past they could never return to.

A glory they could never reclaim.

"......"

"That was your father's happiest moment."

I spoke quietly.

I used aura to create a barrier between us and our surroundings. The cheers of the crowd became a faint echo. As the sound faded, the scene before us shimmered like a dream.

"And he's reliving it over and over again."

"That's strange. He looks so happy. Why would he erase himself from this world? Why would he abandon his family and stay trapped in this dream?"

"......"

Because it wouldn't be long before Kim Joo-chul's left foot would be completely destroyed.

Because he fell into alcohol and gambling, abandoned his family to wallow in Macau and Gangwon-do, and left his wife to die alone while raising their son.

Instead of answering, I asked, "Do you want to ask your father directly?"

"......"

Kim Si-eun bit his lip.

"...Yes."

Although this world had become Kim Joo-chul's domain, I could still influence it as the caster.

After finishing his Man of the Match interview, Kim Joo-chul headed for the locker room. Holding Kim Si-eun's hand, I followed him, unnoticed by anyone.

"Huh?"

Only Kim Joo-chul recognized me. He was hopping with his teammates but turned toward us with a bright smile.

"Who are you? A fan? You're not allowed in here!"

"It's me, Kim Joo-chul."

"Huh? Who are you?"

"Undertaker. I'm the one who trapped you in this time."

I looked him in the eye.

"Don't you recognize me?"

"......"

Kim Joo-chul's smile disappeared.

Simultaneously, the colors of the world around us faded to gray. The singing players, the coaches who were about to enter, and the champagne stopped in midair.

"Ah..."

Only Kim Joo-chul's sigh quietly escaped.

"That's right. This was a dream."

"......"

"This was all a dream..."

Kim Joo-chul looked around, gazing at his former teammates with eyes full of emotion. He sighed heavily.

"This is now a lucid dream, huh? That makes it easier. I might as well go see my wife and son again since I don't have a reason to stay here in this damn locker room."

"That's not necessary."

"Hmm?"

"After this moment ends, you'll forget everything. You'll forget meeting me, this conversation with me. Just as the world has forgotten you, you won't build any more memories of it."

"Huh. That's tough..."

Kim Joo-chul slumped onto a bench. Wiping sweat from his body with a towel, he asked,

"Why did you come to see me, Undertaker? Is this just a regular visit that I can't remember, to watch my amazing highlight reel?"

"It may not mean anything to you, but it could mean something to your family."

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"This young man here with me is your son."

"What?"

Kim Joo-chul finally looked at my companion, as if only now realizing another presence.

He blinked.

"Si-eun?"

"......"

"Si-eun? Is that really you? Wow, you've grown so much!"

Kim Joo-chul jumped up and rushed to hug Kim Si-eun. Although startled, Kim Si-eun didn't reject his father's embrace.

"My goodness! You've become a man! The last time I saw you, you were just a little baby! How old are you now? A middle schooler? High schooler?"

"I'm 20."

"What? 20? Why are you so short! What have you been eating to stay that small? My genes are way better than that!"

The tall defender seemed shocked by his son's height.

"Um... Father?"

"Huh? Father? No need to call me that. Just say 'Dad' like usual..."

Kim Joo-chul suddenly fell silent.

He studied Kim Si-eun's face, then looked at me. His face darkened with worry.

"...Wait a second. I'm sorry, but when did my wife... your mother pass away?"

"...Seven years ago."

"......"

A heavy silence fell over the room.

After a long while, Kim Joo-chul muttered softly, "I see."

His gaze briefly turned to me.

"So that's why you warned me. That's why..."

I didn't respond, only gave a slight nod.

I understood the terrible feeling of being forgotten by the most precious person in one's life, but while I always had the chance to start over, Kim Joo-chul never had that opportunity.

Forever.

"......"

"...Si-eun."

A father held his son's shoulders. Kim Joo-chul gently gripped Kim Si-eun's shoulders, not firmly but more like the delicate touch of willow leaves.

"I'm sorry."

"......"

"Your father... your dad was a very weak man. A really weak man. I never expected you'd survive this messed-up world. Even before everything fell apart, I was drinking and gambling, a terrible person. I ignored your mother's calls, just got angry. Truly..."

Kim Si-eun listened to his father's apology with a face that showed he didn't know how to react. It wasn't his fault. To him, Kim Joo-chul was just a stranger he met today.

Seeing his son's face, Kim Joo-chul shuddered.

"This is... this is hell."

"......"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Si-eun. Dad's sorry."

The football player, trapped in his prime, repeatedly muttered "sorry" like a broken music box.

I don't want to elaborate too much on the epilogue of this story but I believe readers now understand why I detested the ability [Time Seal] so much.

Honestly, I never wanted to address [Time Seal]. It was that much of a dark past for me. However, it feels liberating to finally reveal my power to all of you.

Yes, I sealed the time of many people, not just Kim Joo-chul.

At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do.

But, looking back after so many years, both those people and I had given up on the world too quickly and too easily.

[Time Seal] also played a role in my decision to label my life story as a "tale of failure." No matter how many times I regressed, too many people could never find a different ending.

"Something feels strange."

Yet those who survived still had to make a life out of the connections they had left.

After leaving the stadium, Kim Si-eun kept looking back. The stadium stood precariously in the distance, its outer walls destroyed and exposing its innards.

"Do you regret coming?"

"No, definitely not! It's just that a man who says he's my family is crying, yet I can't remember him at all. It's a strange feeling."

Kim Si-eun hoisted his backpack and adjusted it.

"It makes me feel like I just have to live my life to the fullest."

With his spear planted in the ground, he bowed his head toward me.

"Thank you, hyung! Thanks to you, I found my mother's hometown and met my father on this trip. Although I feel a little conflicted, it was meaningful."

"Where are you going next?"

"I'm planning to find a way across to Japan! I've traveled all over Korea already."

"Japan, huh?"

Nowadays, Japan wasn't an easy place to recommend as a travel destination.

If someone asked me to name the two most dangerous places besides the Korean Peninsula, I would say without hesitation that it was the Japanese archipelago and the Indian subcontinent.

This is because the beings that people treated as "gods" there loved humans so much that they decided to care for them directly. For reference, their favorite genres included #confinement #brainwashing #gore.

Although the world was dangerous everywhere, those two places were dangerous in a different way. Think of it as the difference between apocalyptic and horror genres.

But that was a few years later. For now, the Japanese archipelago was relatively safe.

I didn't stop the young backpacker from pursuing his journey.

Instead, I gave this advice:

"If you hear strange sounds, see strange objects, or feel something off, don't try to investigate. Just put your hands together and greet politely, then continue on your way without looking back. And especially avoid tunnels."

"...?"

"You'll likely pass through Fukuoka. Avoid getting involved with the provisional government people there if you can. Anyway, you'll find this advice useful someday."

"Um, okay! Got it!"

I didn't know what kind of ending awaited Kim Si-eun once he crossed to Japan. There was a high chance it was gruesome.

But I didn't care too much. From the perspective of a regressor like me, life wasn't like a sports match with a whistle blown after 90 minutes. It was more like a journey, stopping briefly at a station before moving on down the tracks.

Unlike his father, he still had the chance to journey to new places.

"See you next time, hyung!"

For the record, I trusted Kim Joo-chul's sincerity.

Even as he faded from the world, I didn't want to distort the intentions of someone who had muttered "our son." The question of whether he was strong enough to hold onto those feelings until the end could be set aside for now.

If he had genuinely apologized to his son, wouldn't he be glad to see Kim Si-eun moving forward to a new destination without being weighed down by the past?

Wouldn't he bless him?

Turning around one last time, I could still see the stadium with its collapsed walls.

-Goaaaal! Goal! Goal!

-Kim Joo-chul! Kim Joo-chul! Kim Joo-chul!

Inside, an anonymous football player long forgotten by the world was still playing. With an unbroken left leg. Cheered on by the crowd.

And he would keep running forever to celebrate with his family.

Footnotes:

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