Chapter 324: Restored will to live
Leaving him to die was wrong, all things considered. And it would hurt her more than him: he seemed to have given up on his life, so he wouldn't mind his soul slipping away from his body. The one suffering, once again, would be her, left alone in the world.
«I left my pack,» she said. «I mean, not yet. I'll be one of them a little more until things settle. But then, I'll be exiled and find a new place to live. I'll become a loner.»
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«A loner? Why? Can't you find another pack?» Renato asked, reaching out to her hand.
«No, I can't.»
«Are you like her?»
«Who?»
«Samantha,» he said.
She sighed, feeling every single letter of her name. In the end, pretending not to know her name had been better: it would have been even worse if he called her like that. She wouldn't have been able to resist him at all, not in bed nor in their conversations. Life was so unfair. She already had it difficult; why give her a mate like him? Why couldn't she just live alone?
«I am like her,» she admitted, whatever that meant to him.
She couldn't know what his thoughts were, but she was well aware of her limits. Finding a pack where to live was impossible, and she wouldn't have tested fate.
Alone was better.
«Everyone thinks she's an Omega,» he said, «but I know it's not like that.»
«No?» she said, curious. «I am a born Omega.»
«If you are like her, you know well enough that's not true.»
«What are you talking about?» she said, in a principle of panic.
Most wolves thought she was just powerful. Some knew about born Omegas, and they could tell she was one: she hated rules and orders, and she struggled at fitting in. Still, she had learned how to rule over her nature. She had found a place in Nate's pack, and he would overlook it when she blurted out her real thoughts and emotions...
She had helped Norwich with her attitude by making the pack balanced and stronger, in some way. They knew she had a bad character and let her be, which wouldn't have been possible in other packs.
Born Omegas already were rare, so who knew about it could understand why Nate let her get away with contradicting him or questioning his orders before following them. It didn't happen too often, after all, and it did sound like a big brother spoiling his little sister...
Yet, Renato didn't look convinced in that story.
«I can't tell you,» he said. «That is her big secret. Something she doesn't want anyone to know. Maybe, not even in her pack! They all think she has the nature of a born Omega, always looking for trouble and challenging orders... Finding it hard to stay in a pack and follow rules, looking for her own spaces...
But I know what's the real matter.»
«How do you know?» she asked, her blood pressure falling to the ground. How much did he know? And, most importantly, how many people had he told about it?
«I know because she's my mate. She's so cute, sometimes, and I love interrogating her... It makes me feel so powerful. But I won't tell you. I won't tell anyone about this. It's her secret, and I don't want her to be alone forever.
It's better to hide and be part of a pack. Oh, if you also are like her, you should keep control and hide. It's not easy.»
«You know...» she said, reading the truth between his words.
He had found out... How long ago? And, seemingly, he hadn't told anyone.
«Is that why you don't want to bring her in your pack anymore?» she asked.
«No. It's not because of that. I told you: she wouldn't be happy here. We are the kind of people she doesn't like, and I can't imagine her dealing with Lucretia or following the Alpha's orders without any question. She's happier in Norwich.»
«But... That means you two won't be together.»
«I'll find a way to make it work. Oh, I won't anymore because I'm dying, but she will find another mate and have her pups. She will be happy one day.»
A weak smile on his face made her roll her eyes. He wasn't dying anymore, that was sure.
She was almost done treating his wounds, and even the worse injuries were healing. His face was back to its original colour and not covered by scratches and bruises. He wouldn't just die, and they could talk more in the morning if his fever disappeared.
«It's time to rest,» she said.
She pushed all her questions back, making him lie down on the clean side of the bed. She collected all the sheets filled with blood and covered him with a clean blanket.
«I wish I could cook for you, but I guess it's better not to,» she said.
«I'm not hungry,» he replied.
«Then, we can find some food tomorrow. Now, you can sleep. You did well, by the way. You earned a few hours of rest.»
«Yes?»
«Yes,» she said, caressing his head. She moved his hair away from his eyes and smiled reassuringly.
Her heart was starting to beat again after a long while. Her mate would live, which meant they could talk in the morning.
She had to find out what exactly he meant when he said he knew her secret. And also who else knew about it. Then, she had to figure out what to do in the future.
For that night, she could stay in Mayford. But what about the next day? Week? Month?
She lay down next to Renato, hugging him to provide some warmth. He was wounded and needed it. And she was so tired as well.