Martial King's Retired Life

“Man, have some shame.”

“Ptoo! I can sleep just fine!”

“This is a national secret?!”

I stepped onto Yuan Kou’s head and explained, “Princess Zuo of Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor is sleep deprived due to a chronic headache. If I can treat it, then she’ll tell me a big secret.”

As long as I knew where the secret passage was, I could have a team stake out there.

“What’s the point of this meeting then?” grumbled Ning Zhuoru. “Who here could match your medical knowledge? Go treat her if she’s sick. Now that we’re all gathered, we’re all here for someone to…” she looked around for any threats.

“This is why we need a group to brainstorm.” I wagged my hand. “Her headache is a product of her training gone wrong. While I do know how to treat her, it’d take half a month.”

Ning Zhuoru: “I only have the stuff you prescribed for my pregnancy.”

Yeah, never had any of my hopes on you.

Gu Xianxian suggested, “Headaches are not an illness, but they can be awfully painful. My family told me I had to take a lot of medicines when I was a kid due to frequent headaches. My family has a formula we can try. We need a handful of sophora flavescens, sophora japonica, pangolin, sicklepod…”

“And consume the blend with centipede oil?”

“You copied my family’s formula?”

“I don’t know about the copying part, but I know it’s not for treating headaches?’

“What is it for, then?”

“Loaded families use it to make kids who they deem stupid smarter.”

“… I had to take it until adulthood…” Gu Xianxian turned to his wife for comfort.

Ning Zhuoru clenched her fist. “Don’t worry, Dear! Remember the formula well. We may need it for our son!”

Yuan Kou grumbled, “Nothing beats massage and acupuncture, Sir. I can promise immediate results. Even if it does not work, it will be an enjoyable procedure.”

Long Zaitian: “She’s a widow, you sicko.”

Yuan Kou shrugged. “What’s wrong with that? A widow is everyone’s widow.”

“Ming Feizhen, you hear that?! He’s your subordinate, right?”

“I heard. I heard. I think it’s a good idea.”

“You shameless bunch! I have to do some good for this world and take out the trash today.”

“See the spiritual power of Liu Shan Men’s? Even a Qilin Guard has found motivation to stand up for justice.”

“Are you serious right now?!”

A man who kept his silence the entire meeting raised his hand. “I have.” When we looked over to him, he finished, “A secret formula.”

“You have a secret formula?!” I shouted.

Teng shook his head. “No.”

… Do you think you’ll be spared a beating just because you don’t say much? You’re testing me.

“I used. To have headaches. But no more.”

“How did you treat it?” I asked.

“Because. I consumed that.”

Though Teng didn’t specify what “that” referred to, everyone, except Long Zaitian, scrunched up their faces; even Tang Ye looked disgusted despite not following.

“What are their reactions about? What did they consume?” questioned Long Zaitian.

I knew “unknown pill” was potent, but I had no idea it could cure headaches, too.

Teng pointed to his head. “Never had another one.”

“I see.”

Teng never said much, but he was a responsible man, so I deemed him trustworthy.

As soon as I pulled out a big porcelain bottle from my shirt, virtually everyone backed off. “Deliver this to the place I tell you and follow the procedure I’m going to tell you. Someone will meet you.”

It wasn’t visually obvious, but Teng was actually surprised. “You are trusting me with it? Is it not a secret location?”

“You’re trustworthy.”

I wrote a letter for Teng to take with him. There was no room for mistakes this time, so I needed to cover all bases. He placed the stuff inside his shirt and swore he wouldn’t let me down. To be honest, my primary concern was that Zuo Suniang would take my head off as soon as she smelt the stink. That being the case, it was safer for me if someone else delivered the goods.

“Okay, let’s get down to business now.”

“What were we discussing just then?” questioned Long Zaitian.

“That was small talk in case there were eavesdroppers. I’m 90% sure there are no eavesdroppers now.”

I never actually expected Teng to provide a solution.

“How are you so sure?” Long Zaitian queried.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the capital may become a mess.”

“You just ignored my question!”

“Based off recent events, Fiends’ Genesis’ rampage is just the warm-up. The real fight is yet to come.”

The topic was serious enough for Long Zaitian to stop badgering me.

I provided a brief rundown of my analyses and then said, “The Champion White Princes and Jiang Chen are colluding with each other. Jiang Chen is using Fiends’ Genesis as martyrs to disrupt order in the capital, never expecting he’d get caught. The White Princes, on the other hand, have yet to execute their backup plan. It’s quite likely the capital will be in turmoil once they make their move. At the moment, the capital lacks the power to ride out the wave without casualties. When the capital is compromised, I want you to protect Liu Shan Men and the people around it.”

The gravity of the situation and their tasks shut them up.

“Yuan Kou, Lang Qing, Teng, Gu Xianxian and your wife, you all once worked for Fiends’ Genesis. Marshal Long has promised to not penalise you for any of your past crimes as long as you contribute in this battle.”

Long Zaitian leaned over towards me. “I never said that.”

“You can say it now.”

“Why should I?”

“You want to be marshal or not? How are you going to get there without achieving anything?”

“… You’re saying the Seven Champion White Princes plan to revolt? Ignoring whether that’s true or not, could they pull it off? The moment they mobilise their three hundred thousand troops, every intelligence collector would be alerted instantly. You think this is Nieyao City again, where the outside world has no clue how big the army is inside? Besides, how much power do they pack compared to the capital? Do they even have any chance of victory?”

I couldn’t dispute Long Zaitian’s points as I had been wondering the same things. Whatever their plan was, even with access to Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor’s secret passage, it’d be impossible for them to overthrow the imperial court as soon as they made any obvious moves. None of His Majesty’s sons were people you could just walk all over when you wanted. He also had plenty of capable and loyal retainers to take back the throne under new leadership. If the White Princes had no plans to take any actions soon, though, then Gongsun Chu’s actions made no sense.

Long Zaitian stretched out his back as he glanced out at the dark sky and yawned. “You can’t even convince yourself. This dragon will have to pass up on this opportunity for glory.”

“Wait. Though that’s the case, you should be ready for any invasions that might happen within the next few days.”

Long Zaitian shook his head, pulled on his ears and then walked off. I sent the team back to their positions and ordered Teng to go make the delivery while I continued musing in the room.

Why does it just not make sense? What makes the Seven Champion White Princes daring enough to overthrow the imperial court when Ximen failed?

“You had a meeting? There sure were a lot of people.”

I mindlessly responded to the domineering and somewhat serious tone, “Yeah, but none of them were any use.”

“What did you discuss?”

“A widow’s sleep… Hmm?” I looked up to see Boss with her arms crossed and a smile on her lips. It wasn’t very visible without paying attention, but I saw some veins on her forehead.

“Let’s hear more about it.”

My hearing suddenly levelled up. I fore-heard the sound of an inkstone sliding against clothing and a scream.

Smack!

“Ow!”

It was a serious meeting! I swear!

***

I tried, but I still ended up losing to the inkstone. I stood next to Boss, who sat in the master seat, as I answered questions alongside Tang Ye. I assumed Boss was back to share some new discoveries with me.

Boss narrowed her eyes. “Zuo Suniang is married, isn’t she?”

Huh? Why are we talking about this?

I wagged my head. “He’s dead.”

“Huh?” Boss grabbed me by my ear. “And so you seduced her?!”

“No!”

“So how do you know she suffers headaches?”

I couldn’t answer that… Answering it would expose the fact that I took a kickback. Thus, I sent Tang Ye signals with my eyes. “Tang Ye, tell Boss how I know.”

“… Vice-Captain, would you believe it if I said I found out through investigations?”

“No.”

“You are too smart.” Tang Ye looked back at me. “Big Bro, she doesn’t believe me.”

Go kill yourself! At least try to think of something before you speak! You never intended to help me, did you?!

“I like to think I know the imperial family well, yet you know something I don’t.”

“It’s not something she can bring herself to tell outsiders, right?”

“And she’s fine with telling you?”

“Not even me!”

Man, this mouth of mine!

I racked my brains to recall the meeting with Zuo Suniang and find the right words. “She didn’t bring it up. Sh-she didn’t tell me. I insisted on asking.”

“You insisted on asking a widow about her sleep?”

I flipping give up!

“Despite all the important tasks that require attention, you spend your time on this sort of nonsense.” Boss released my ear. “I have important news to share.” She stopped for a moment to check me out and then conveyed, “I’m glad you’re all right.”

Did Boss… hear about the bronze-masked assassin’s attempt at assassinating me? Boss, I’m touched. I knew you cared about me.

The fact that Boss heard about it already implied that someone was trying to make it known. Consequently, the bronze-masked assassin had to be part of the Seven Champion White Princes!

“I have two things to share: first, we finally have information on the bronze-masked killer. He’s League of Assassin’s top assassin, the backbone of Six Blades. His alias is Patina, which is probably related to the colour of his bronze mask. The second thing I want to tell you is that Elder Yu Sihe’s killer is likely someone part of Mount Lu.”