Chapter 114 - Barren - Part【4】
He snarls vigorously his lips curled exhibiting his canines to her and hunches down into a position resembling that of a beast circling her on his palms and feet. He wants to show off his physique his strength to ignite her interest, he is unsettled she finds him to not have any attractiveness for if she did she wouldn't have looked elsewhere just like he didn't glance away from her.
Phobos does not talk to her yet his eyes are firmly fastened on her being low reverberating growls thundering out his chest that is puffed to make him seem larger in size to her. When he nears her with his nose raised towards her warmth inhaling her distinct scent that differs from my own she lets out her tongue and laps up his right cheek smearing his skin with her saliva, a token of her affection that surprises Phobos for she showed him otherwise since when they first encountered each other.
Understanding finally settles in my male and he gapes at her with questioning. "You were teasing me." He utters with a moody gnarl his blazing eyes set on her showing her his disapproval of her antics. My wolf crouches, seeking to appear as small as possible and licks my male's nose resembling a pup but it does not reassure him. What she did was not a big thing yet her teasing has agitated this male.
Her ears are laid flat back close to her head and she gets into a slumping body posture her tail tucked between her legs communicating to him her submission hoping to diffuse the tension and avoid escalation, faint apologetic whimpers are let out by her as she nudges the top of her head beneath his chin wanting to be held by him.
Her male gradually boosts his hands and places them against the scruff of her neck gliding down her silky fur enjoying the feeling of the strands of her hair beneath his fingertips, he had desperately looked forward to this meeting yet we took him by surprise. "My queen." He murmurs setting his forehead against hers and she locks her eyes remaining calm as their souls unite. A bizarre sensation erupts within me as they both connect, I feel her happiness swamping me who remains behind boundaries instead of her for the first time since Phobos and I reunited.
"Next time you tease me that way, I shall see to it he punishes you," Phobos utters with a playful seriousness implying a discipline that will come her way from his beast if she chooses to repeat her actions. She winces to his warning and immediately collapses to the ground rolling on her back exposing her vulnerable throat and belly. Her paws are drawn into her body and she whines earning a chuckle from him. Her antics he finds too lovable he cannot remain bothered with her. When he strokes her belly her tongue dangles out from the side of her mouth and she pants keeping her eyes on her male enjoying the pampering he delivers.
"Theia told me this is your play area. Do you wish to play with me?"
To his question excitement pools at the pit of her belly and she jumps to her feet. Her tail once more begins to wag enthusiastically her tongue lolled out. She frolics and spins around in excited circles openly showing to her male what she thinks of his idea and he laughs at her playfulness. She sprints forward as fast as her paws take her only to skid to a stop glancing back waiting for him to chase her. Once he closes the distance between them she once more runs forward putting further space and cunningly peers over her shoulder waiting for him to keep up.
He finally realises she is initiating a chase and freezes in his tracks to prepare himself, curling the sleeves of his white t-shirt folding up the lower ends of his jeans he stoops down bearing the totality of his weight on his palms his eager eyes anchored on his female. There is a concealed smirk that paints his face as she cries out impatiently her paws unable to stand still in place, this is what she had waited for each passing year to connect this way with Phobos.
There is a sense of self-doubt that fills me up. Should I have not made her wait too long? I clearly see the desperation she holds, she is scared that I will command control and reign her back not allowing her to have her complete uninterrupted time with him. Just like how his beast felt. I know it wasn't fair what I did deliberately keeping her from him for a year and a half but in a way, I was protecting her.
Phobos and I were treading on thin ice we were both unsure of what we felt for the other. I was able to handle his constant rejection but she does not wield that strength for in a way she was always blindly in love with him and his beast. She wouldn't have been able to survive if Phobos had denied her the way he did with me whether it was for a good reason or not.
A short yip escapes her open mouth as she races around the unrestricted land with her male chasing after her. Phobos is laughing uproariously as he unreluctantly pursues her, the kind of laugh that one can truly recognise and feel the emotions of his heart. His eyes when they peer down at her are soft and it shows how truly he is in love. It doesn't matter if he does not know much about her for despite it all his heart belongs to her just as it is mine.
I happily watch the way he pounces upon her from behind startling her in the process while tackling her to the ground. She uncovers her mouth and clamps her jaw around his face in a gentle way informing him she can gobble him up if she pleases, that she is a ruthless Luna. Phobos's laughter intensifies at her cute actions and he rolls around with her upon the fresh grass his brawny tattooed arms clamped tightly over her body both striving to overpower the other and bring them beneath in a submissive pose. She wants to dominate him but he will not permit it.
When she lovingly licks his face he tilts his head to the side allowing her to do as she pleases with him, he savours the adoration she bestows upon him. This is the first male she has ever been with so far and from my side I would say she is a bit awkward but Phobos does not mind at all rather he keeps up with her juvenile mischievousness that she has never shown to others and he is aware of this. It makes him content that he is her first and he wishes to convince her that she can be her true self with him free of constraints for nevertheless, he will adore her for whom she is on the inside.
After they had their fun for the day following a few hours post sunset, she returned to me full control which aided me to recover my body. I thought Phobos would be a bit reluctant to greet me yet he was overwhelmed by my presence and covered my shuddering flesh from head to toe with severely scalding kisses as I laid there sprawled stripped beneath him on the very spot where I imagined him to be real when I was a juvenile.
On the way back to my family's house I informed him about my intention to have a health check-up with the healer. I was quite close to her in a way, there is nothing about my health she is unaware of and would definitely notify me if there were any concerns I needed to know. Phobos assured me he would join me but I insisted I go alone and at the end of our short quarrel my stuborness won and he agreed letting me go unwillingly as I waved him goodbye whilst heading up the stairs into the pack clinic.
I spent an hour in there as she did a thorough check of my body especially the place I was extremely concerned about. My uterus. To be honest, it was the main reason I wanted to meet with the healer here rather than Vdce. I was prepared in a way I would say, I had continually eased my mind for the truth for a period of several months but when her eyes broadened and she struggled to breathe as she studied my results I knew it. What I had dreaded had come to stand in armour before me mercilessly stomping on my dreams and my future.
She tried her best to comfort me, she said things change and the results are not conclusive. That the goddess will heal me for I was her favoured female. She said I could modify my eating habits or even make up a sex plan which may benefit me. But as I thanked her with a cold smile not shedding a single tear the bandaged wounds of my heart that had merely healed because of the love of my male had once more torn apart shattering into pieces and I was left bleeding by the end of it. It is true, I am cursed.
"Theia! You are finally here I was getting impatient. Come here my queen, I have already written our names on our lantern." He seizes my wrist gently hauling the lifeless me into his chest as he inspects our glowing lantern.
"What did you wish for?" I ask.
"For a healthy male. For our little beast as you state." He beams down at me his eyes gleaming brighter than the lantern he holds in his hands. My heart plummets to the gloomy abyss of my stomach the light of my soul flickering into cheerless darkness. This is all my fault, I...am not worthy to stand beside you, to be your Luna, to be your female Phobos. This truth shall definitely break us apart and I am so frightened.
The ringing bell resounds through the anticipating crowd as all the wolves lift their lanterns of hope up into the sky and free them. I take in a tremulous breath as I watch my male staring at our lantern with every bit of hope he possesses within him, to be a father he yearns with the entirety of his heart and his own female lacks a healthy womb to give him that.
Please do not let me go. Please do not leave me, Phobos.
As we send out the lantern together and sounds of cheer and claps surround us I squeeze my result paper that is held tightly in my trembling left palm looking down at my feet tears of piercing agony tumbling down my cheeks.
"Theia?" The way he calls my name saturated with heavy concern has me wail audibly my excruciating pain revealed in the sound of the gut-wrenching cries I am unable to control. I cannot do this, I do not want this. Why? Why me? After everything I underwent, after everything I have survived through to get here. Why is it that the moon keeps denying me my happiness?
I weakly collapse to the ground grasping onto my bleeding chest for dear life as I gaze up at my confused male with bleary eyes internally providing myself with the strength to admit my truth to him. "Phobos I am...I am barren."
There is a distinct hitch of his breath his orbs widening as though the ribs around his heart are moving inward to pulverise the fragile organ, his clenched fists tremor violently and he shuts his eyes unable to meet my fading ones.. It seems as though Phobos has been suspecting my infertility as though he was already aware of it but desperately wished it wasn't true.